The Journey Ahead (1)
Stepping out of the temple, I felt a weight lift from my chest. Considering how much fretting and agonizing I had done over this whole affair, it had wrapped up with an almost anticlimactic ease.
"Still… with this…"
I could set out on an adventure without a single reservation. Of course, there were new things to be careful about—but when would I ever have reason to bare my body in front of strangers? As long as no one saw the Holy Scar itself, figuring out I was the Saintess would be no easy feat. And so the last of my hesitation melted away.
I decided to head back to the old bookstore with a somewhat lighter heart. On the way, the streets were already filling with people starting their day's work.
Passing a fruit stall, I briefly considered buying something to bring back…
"Ah. I don't have any money…"
I barely had any coin to begin with, and I hadn't even brought my wallet. I'd left it behind thinking this was just a quick outing. A shame, but there was nothing to be done about it.
When I arrived at the old bookstore and pushed open the door, my sister and the Master were waiting for me on the first floor.
"I'm back."
"Well now. Did everything go smoothly?"
The Master greeted me with a bright smile, while my sister wore a worried look. I gave an awkward little grin and explained what had happened.
"Assassination risk from other denominations, is it…"
"Yes. So they said they won't make a public announcement."
Thanks to that, I was free to come and go as I pleased. I had been fretting over the possibility of being locked up in the temple, so that part was a genuine relief.
"I'm still worried…"
"Nothing's going to happen."
"Then… will you be leaving now?"
Everything was already packed, so setting out today wouldn't have been a bad idea. But what about my sister?
"What about you, unnie?"
She shook her head.
"Tomorrow."
"You want to leave tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Yuli, rest today."
She seemed concerned about me after I'd been out and about. Honestly, I was mentally exhausted. Nothing dramatic had happened, but all the overthinking and fretting had put my brain through the wringer.
"And that robe suits you."
She said it while looking at the garment I was wearing.
"Thanks. The Master gave it to me."
My sister turned and bowed her head in thanks to the Master standing beside her.
"A graduation gift for my disciple, you see."
"Even so, thank you."
"I would have liked to prepare something for you as well…"
My sister waved her hands in polite refusal. She wasn't his disciple, she insisted, so she couldn't accept his help. She went on about how the lodging and meals alone were already more than enough.
"In any case—congratulations."
The Master clapped me on the shoulder. Whether being recognized as the Saintess was something to celebrate, I honestly wasn't sure. If anything, it felt like a nuisance…
"Yes. Once I have research results, I'll be sure to let you know."
"That would make me very happy indeed."
The Master laughed heartily, clearly delighted. I hadn't actually researched a single thing yet, but still…
That afternoon, I helped my sister clean the old bookstore. The Master told us we didn't have to, but since we were leaving tomorrow, she wanted to tidy up at least a little beforehand. We'd freeloaded so much, she said, that we ought to do at least this much. As his disciple, I could hardly sit it out, so I joined in.
As we worked, I set aside any books that looked useful.
"What do you intend to do with those?"
"Ah—if it's all right, I was hoping to take them with me."
Reading during the downtime of travel would expand my knowledge, and field guides would help me identify new materials.
"Well, nothing particularly valuable among them."
He added that he had better books, too. I already knew that.
"I picked the useless ones on purpose."
These were books for the road, so the risk of them getting damaged was high. Rather than expensive volumes or the latest editions, I'd chosen older ones—things that wouldn't matter if they got ruined, outdated books that already had revised editions.
The Master might not mind, since he was planning to dispose of them anyway, but there was a chance I would inherit this bookstore someday. I couldn't bring myself to take the important ones.
"Very well. Do as you like."
He said it gruffly, but a note of wistfulness lingered in his voice.
"If I have the chance, I'll write letters too."
"Don't waste money on it. Send them through the Church."
The Church…?
"You're the Saintess. If you ask them to deliver a letter, they'll take good care of it. And I have my own ties to the Church as well."
Ah! There was a temple here, so sending letters would be easy! That was the Master for you. You really couldn't dismiss the wisdom of experience. To think there was a way to send letters without spending a single coin! If I played it right, I could even write to my parents.
I'd thought of this title as nothing but a cumbersome burden, but I was starting to realize it could be quite useful if handled well. Who would dare ignore an apostle chosen by the Goddess herself? Especially the faithful—they'd find it hard to refuse me…
Of course, I had to keep my identity carefully hidden, so I couldn't go around flaunting it and abusing the privilege. But when the need arose, it looked more than usable.
"So it can be used that way as well."
"Indeed. You looked so worried I held my tongue, but if you set your mind to it, that position carries all the authority you could ever want to exploit."
I almost burst out laughing. If I ran short of materials while practicing alchemy, I could simply have them fetch more, couldn't I? Say it was for research—who would stop me? In that case I'd probably need to stay at a temple, but as a way to freely pursue alchemy, it wasn't half bad.
"Thanks to you, Master, endless ways to put this to use are springing to mind."
"You've taken on a troublesome post. The least it can do is pay you back that much."
So this was the wisdom of experience…! No wonder he was a great mage! I clapped from the sidelines, heaping praise on him. Truly, a great mage!
After dinner, once night had fallen, I checked my luggage again.
"Checking again?"
"Yeah. Got to be thorough."
I might have missed something, or something new might occur to me. I unpacked everything and carefully restacked it all. So I was really leaving on a journey…
I approached the statue of the Goddess on the table, knelt, and prayed.
Goddess… I've been recognized as the Saintess. Whether this was your will or mere chance, I don't know—but I have one request.
Please, let nothing go wrong.
As I prayed, my sister came and knelt beside me, praying as well.
"You, praying? That's a first."
"Asking for blessings."
Wishing for my path ahead to be filled with blessings, was it? That was fine too.
Goddess, I'll create many useful things through alchemy. So please bless the road before me.
Receiving the Holy Scar might already count as a blessing—but that was one thing, and this was another!
I finished my prayers and quietly went to bed. The soft mattress was so cozy, and I knew comfort like this would soon be nothing but a dream.
Once we were traveling, camping out would become the norm, and even when we rested in towns, finding a decent inn would be hard. Some of the cheap ones didn't even have beds.
A long, hard road stretched ahead—so I might as well enjoy this while I could…
Several days had passed since I last saw her. My parents were already telling me to give up. From the start, it seemed, they had wanted to oppose the match simply because she was a commoner. They knew well how commoners feared the nobility, and they had clearly anticipated her reaction as well.
"Of course…"
Come to think of it, even the servants in our household sometimes behaved that way. Especially the newly hired ones, when they made a mistake—recalling those reactions…
To her, I had been nothing more than a frightening noble… I thought back on every moment we had shared. That day in the garden. The time I invited her to tea. Our conversations in the corridor. Seeing her off as she left… I replayed them all. And I understood. She had always been flustered, always confused, always uncomfortable.
Realizing that made my heart ache. And it showed me just how selfish I had been.
A terrifying noble who kept approaching her—how much of a burden must that have been…
"Hah…"
And yet I couldn't let go of these feelings. Was it because this was my first love? I remembered friends from the Academy who had fallen for people who were already spoken for. I had looked down on them—friends who pined for someone betrothed, or even already married. I had dismissed as foolish the young ladies who yearned after men who already belonged to someone else.
Experiencing it myself, I found that feelings were not so easily dismissed.
"So this is what those friends… those young ladies… were going through…"
I felt thoroughly pathetic. And still, I couldn't set my heart aside. Then I thought—
I felt a little sorry toward her, but I couldn't give up. She was afraid of me? Then I would keep approaching her until she no longer was.
Someday, I believed, she would come to understand my feelings.
In the days I spent tormented by my inability to forget her, my younger sister gave me an earful about whether I was going to give up already.
"I have no intention of giving up, but…"
"Then why don't you just do something?"
That could make her uncomfortable. I had no desire to quit, but that part still gave me pause.
"You said she's going to the royal capital, right? Why not go with her, stay by her side, show her around the capital?"
My sister made it sound so simple. It wasn't a bad idea, but she said it far too easily.
"It's not as simple as it sounds, little sister."
"Hmph. If you don't even have that much courage, you should just give up."
I wanted to rap that tiny head of hers. I knew why my adorable little sister was being so forceful. Because they were friends…
"She still won't even meet with me, though."
"That's because you were an idiot about it, oppa."
It wasn't as though there were no methods at all. The problem was that they would only cause her more trouble.
"And it's your fault, oppa."
"Mine?"
My sister kept insisting that everything was my fault. It wasn't that I didn't know that—I was frustrated too.
"You should have confessed earlier, you know? Then there wouldn't have been any misunderstanding."
For a moment, her words nearly made me snap. It wasn't that easy! And yet she wasn't wrong.
If I had told her how I felt sooner… would she still have broken down crying like that? Would she have misunderstood?
I didn't know…
Still, the method my sister had suggested didn't seem half bad.
She said she was going to the capital… The royal capital of Barga was a place I knew reasonably well. I had lived there for three years while attending the Academy.
"It might work…"
I decided I would guide her through the capital, and began thinking of a way to meet her.
And then it came to me!
To leave the territory, she would have to pass through the castle gates. And to reach the royal capital, she would have to go out through the eastern gate.
So if I simply waited at the eastern gate, wouldn't that do it? I even had an excuse ready.
I could say I was standing by as a knight, maintaining public order. Then I would apologize for what had happened that day, and offer to escort her all the way to the capital!
Yes! That was the way to go!