The Saintess's Baptism
I really didn't want to go, but since I'd declared I would, I had to... I stretched, got out of bed, and prepared to leave. My sister was sleeping like the dead, so I pulled the blanket over her.
It would have been nice to go together, but I didn't want to burden her.
I put on suitable outdoor clothes and left the room. It was a bit early, yet I intended to head out right away.
"Leaving already?"
"Master?"
When I came downstairs, Master was there. They say the elderly don't sleep much in the morning... and here he was, up at this hour.
"Yes. I said I would go."
Master smiled faintly and held out something from the table.
"I originally meant to give this to you when you left the city, but I should give it now."
"Huh?"
He cleared his throat and took an item from a box. What he offered was a robe. It possessed a clean elegance that was neither flashy nor plain, and its dark black color would hide dirt well. Patterns were drawn into the fabric and ornaments hung from it, lending it real style. It was a splendid robe much like the fine one Master himself wore.
"This is..."
"Think of it as a graduation gift."
Emotion welled up in me all at once.
"Master..."
"It can serve as either a robe or a cloak—a multipurpose piece—so it should be convenient."
The length was just right, as if tailored to my height.
"I've engraved a warming magic on the inside; it's a magic tool. Inject holy power when you need it."
"A magic tool?!"
"Yes. On your travels you'll reach places whose climate and environment differ from here. It will prove useful then."
He explained that he had first considered engraving a defensive magic to protect the body, but after weighing my magical skill and my sister's abilities he decided this would be better and changed it.
"Th-thank you!"
I bowed deeply. Then I slipped on the robe at once. With it over my clothes I slowly turned, checking myself from head to toe.
"Does it suit me?"
Master smiled with quiet satisfaction and nodded.
"Off you go, then. Come back safely."
I wanted to see myself in a mirror, but that could wait. Right now I had to reach the temple.
"Yes!"
I had been feeling rather low, yet Master's gift lifted my spirits. Thanks to it I left the old bookstore with a bright smile.
When I first saw Master's robe I had thought how much I wanted to wear something like it; receiving a similar one made me truly happy. That joy and happiness ran straight through my body, and my steps bounced lightly.
Childish, maybe—but I was still a child, so it was fine, right?
I even pulled the hood up and set off for the temple.
On the way I saw merchants preparing their stalls at dawn and soldiers already on patrol; somehow the sight felt novel. Even familiar scenes looked new when one's mood changed, I suppose.
Walking along in high spirits, I soon arrived before my destination. The moment I saw the temple my heart tightened. Once I stepped inside there would be no taking it back. No more retreat. Still, I had to go in...
I entered through the open doors. Should I head for the chapel first?
Even at this early hour people were praying there. A nun was cleaning as well...
But what was I supposed to say? While I hesitated, a man in antique formal attire entered the chapel.
That man was... clearly the archbishop I had met yesterday. Yet perhaps because his clothes were different, the impression he gave had changed. The garments he had worn then were luxurious enough, but these were more so—sacred, almost.
"You've come early."
He noticed me at once and approached.
"Welcome."
"I said I would come, after all."
Before I knew it the chapel was filling with people. From their appearance they were all believers.
"I half expected you might try to run."
That stung; I had considered it. I had only given up because it would have made everything larger than necessary.
"This way, then."
The archbishop led me before the altar. Everyone seemed to have been informed; no one looked startled.
"What are we doing?"
"We will offer prayers to the Goddess and receive baptism."
Prayer and baptism... so I was being appointed a true saint in the fullest sense? Nuns and priests stood around with solemn faces. The atmosphere was so serious I felt the pressure.
At least there was no changing into special vestments. A relief... Had I been required to change—had I been forced to show my body to others—I would have been mortified.
Under the archbishop's guidance I took my place, and he began the mass. The content was ordinary praise of the divine. Even so, listening to it seemed to warm my heart.
"The Goddess has sent down an apostle; we give thanks for her boundless grace."
"As followers of the Goddess we shall continue to preserve knowledge and spread beneficial wisdom, bringing light to the world."
Preserve knowledge and spread wisdom... so that was the work of the church... I had known it, yet hearing it spoken made my heart heavy.
Could I truly manage it?
"Apostle, your name."
Before I realized it the archbishop had descended from the altar and knelt before me to ask.
"Julian..."
The moment I spoke my name a hot sensation flared at my waist. People began to murmur.
What was happening?
"Julian, apostle chosen by the Goddess—do you swear henceforth to uphold and carry out Her will?"
Was this necessary? Through the mass I had understood what the church desired of the Goddess: to keep knowledge from vanishing, and to spread new wisdom—new knowledge for the world's sake.
My mind was already decided. I would spread alchemy. Whether it could truly revolutionize the world I did not know, but...
"Yes."
At my answer the heat at my waist intensified, and an unknown power rose from my heart. It flowed outward through my entire body. This was... something other than holy power. As the force began to circulate, a brilliant light burst from me—a light that felt sacred in a way holy power never had. Then the circulating power gathered once more into my heart and gradually faded.
The murmuring around us grew louder. I still had no idea what was going on.
"With this, the baptism is complete."
So it had been a baptism... With this I could call myself a proper follower of the Goddess.
When I raised my head and looked about, every gaze was fixed on me in reverence. Those expectant eyes made the burden swell. Me, a Saintess... Would they laugh or weep according to my actions? What faces would they wear if I disappointed them? Suddenly my heart felt heavy.
Yet I had already sworn. There was no undoing it.
"W-well... please take care of me?"
The moment I spoke the awkward words, everyone crowded around me. Flustered though I was, I tried to answer as calmly as I could. They fired question after question, endlessly curious.
Had I ever seen the Goddess with my own eyes? What knowledge did I possess? What would I do from now on? Where had I been all this time that I only appeared now? The sheer force of their interest left me reeling.
I had wanted to stay composed... yet the confusion only grew, making answers difficult.
"That is enough."
The archbishop stepped in at once and led me away. When I came to myself I was in a small room.
"This is..."
"You looked exhausted, so I brought you here."
"Ah—thank you."
Honestly, the expectations people were placing on me felt like a considerable weight.
"Don't resent them too much."
"I know..."
Seeing the apostle chosen by the Goddess in person must have been astonishing... I understood their feelings. I understood them, yet I wished they would also understand that I was flustered and struggling too.
"What do you intend to do from now on?"
He was asking me first?
"Well... is it possible not to announce it publicly?"
"I never planned to make it public from the start. Of course I will inform those within the church that we have found you, but I have no intention of going further."
He explained that other churches kept the Metis Church under close watch; if my existence were proclaimed they might attempt assassination. Therefore he meant to conceal it for the time being.
"We cannot hide it forever, yet at the very least I intend to prevent them from identifying you specifically."
The appearance of an apostle would become known with time. But the fact that the apostle was me—that, he said, he would keep hidden.
"It's rather complicated."
"A troublesome business, yes."
Originally, he admitted, he had wanted to serve me with the utmost care. For my part this arrangement felt more comfortable...
"More than that—um, during the baptism? I felt something strange."
I told him how the Holy Scar had burned and an unidentified power had surged from my heart.
"That was Divine Power."
Divine Power? Different from holy power?
"The Goddess's power simply awakened during the baptism. When Divine Power envelops the body, one naturally obtains holy power."
Ah... so even if I had never possessed holy power, baptism would have granted it? Now I understood the murmuring. Divine Power had manifested; of course they were astonished. Beyond that, he said, nothing special had occurred.
"A little disappointing, somehow."
"Excessive power is poison."
Ah... I could see it that way. This was no ordinary force but the power of a god. Unlike holy power, which had already been refined once, pure divine power would be difficult for a human to bear.
"I hear you plan to travel."
Had he spoken with Master?
"Yes. For now I intend to go to the capital."
"The royal capital Barga, is it..."
Would he tell me to visit the temple there?
"It is in a different location from the church's headquarters."
"Is that so?"
I was a frog in a well; I knew nothing. The archbishop asked that I stop by the temple when I reached Capital Barga.
"This letter of introduction should suffice."
Apparently there was no special token of the Saintess. Or was he deliberately withholding one?
"Is this all I need to take?"
"For the present... And if you ever have interesting knowledge—knowledge you wish to spread—you may come to any temple at any time."
He added lightly that I should think of it freely and feel no burden. Yet even those words felt tremendously burdensome...
"Yes, well..."
"And don't worry about the people outside; I will keep them quiet."
I smiled awkwardly. No token of any kind, just a baptism and that was the end of it? Why had I come so tense?
"There's nothing much to it."
"Had circumstances been better I would have taken you to headquarters, held a grand ceremony, and treated you with every honor."
Because the situation was unfavorable? Indeed... a public proclamation would invite harassment from other churches. When I asked why they kept such close watch, the answer was simple.
"Because the other churches have no saint."
A church's prestige does not simply fall from the sky. Achievements are required for its influence to grow.
And the existence of a saint, he said, was significant. A god's spokesperson and representative was itself an achievement and a living symbol; influence naturally strengthened around such a figure.
"Ah..."
So if my existence were announced, the risk of assassination would rise?
"Then I can simply live quietly?"
"Yes. The church will not demand anything of you."
Was that truly all right? Since there seemed to be no particular benefits, they would not force anything?
"In the first place, someone chosen by the Goddess is hardly the sort to sit idle."
Ah... well, as long as I carried the goal of returning to being a man, I would inevitably dig deep into alchemy. And if worthwhile results appeared? Of course I would spread them.
When the conversation wound down he said I was free to leave. He offered only one warning: one never knew when or where people from other churches might appear, so I must be careful about revealing my identity.
"I will."
When I finished speaking and stepped out of the temple I felt thoroughly empty. None of the things I had fretted over had happened; I had simply received baptism and that was that!
There were still matters worth worrying about, of course, yet nothing that seemed to require great concern.
"All's well that ends well, I suppose?"