The Fireworks and the Confession
My mind, which had been completely blank, slowly began to return because of that text message. If I’d stayed frozen like that, I might have dug myself into a hole somewhere. I suppose I should call it a relief. But of all people, it had to be a message from Jiyu.
“An amusement park, of all places.”
Just seeing her face would already be confusing enough. But an amusement park, just the two of us?
“...Yeah. It’s something I have to settle eventually.”
I’d show her everything. Thinking of it as the last time. If I revealed exactly what kind of person I was, then maybe she could let me go.
But was that really what I wanted?
“....”
What if I didn’t? I had no idea what I was even thinking at this point. What if it wasn’t what I wanted? If she stayed with me, Jiyu would probably end up getting badly hurt someday. Better to end it now. Before my feelings grew any larger. Even if it hurt a little, finishing things now was the right choice.
Besides, there were already so many good people by her side. A small wound like this would surely be forgotten quickly.
Once it was over, what would happen to me…?
“What’s going to happen to me?”
Would I even be able to stay in the raid party…? I didn’t know. I’d probably just keep living somehow, the way I always had. Yeah. So it was really fine. It didn’t hurt at all.
The amusement park on a weekday afternoon was surprisingly empty and quiet. In front of that peaceful park, Junho stood waiting for Jiyu, dressed neatly. Yesterday he had been dragged out in shabby clothes, but today was different. He wore a white T-shirt layered under a blue button-down and beige slacks. On his wrist was a watch he’d bought on the street that still looked somewhat luxurious. He had even swept up the bangs he usually let fall over his forehead and fixed them in place.
His long lashes cast shadows beneath slightly upturned eyes. The expression on his face as he looked down at the ground with those lashes lowered looked quite tired.
I didn’t sleep a wink last night.
His face became incredibly soft whenever he smiled, but when he was expressionless, he looked cold. The way the corners of his mouth naturally turned downward only intensified that chill.
Back when he was in the Onhwa Guild, he rarely went outside, so his skin had been fairly pale for a man. Now it was noticeably tanned.
I’m exhausted.
There were still more than thirty minutes left until their meeting time. Thanks to his habit of leaving early no matter what, he had ended up standing there waiting for a full half hour.
I could have just napped for thirty minutes.
Leaning against a pillar near the ticket booth, Junho’s face wasn’t the type that could be called breathtakingly handsome, but it was warm and pleasant enough to make anyone glance back at least once. Dressed up like this, he was exactly the kind of man who would make passing women turn their heads.
“Hey, that guy’s good-looking.”
“Is he here alone…?”
“Who comes to an amusement park alone…”
The women who walked past him, chatting idly and stealing glances, had no idea that he hadn’t noticed their stares at all.
Today I’ll show her everything and end it. Then I won’t have to feel these exhausting emotions anymore.
His mind was completely occupied with thoughts of how the day with Jiyu would unfold. Without realizing it, he had been thinking about her again, but Junho was far too tired to notice.
And then, about ten minutes before their promised time.
“Junho oppa?”
Jiyu approached with her mouth hanging open, looking completely different from usual. Instead of her usual cute style, she wore a white camisole with a cardigan draped precariously over her shoulders and black slacks. It was a refreshing change. The cardigan had slipped off one side, revealing her pale shoulder completely, and the low-cut camisole accentuated her full chest, creating quite a view.
“Ah, Jiyu. Your outfit today…”
“D-does it look weird?”
“....It’s just different from your usual style.”
Junho, who had been about to say something but closed his mouth, averted his gaze and continued.
“You look incredibly handsome today, oppa.”
“Let’s go in.”
He started walking as if he hadn’t heard her words at all.
“Y-yeah, wait for me! I have the tickets!”
Junho glanced back at Jiyu, who followed after him as if nothing had happened, and his expression darkened slightly. Of course, Jiyu walking behind him didn’t see it.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been to an amusement park!”
An excited Jiyu hopped over to stand beside him and smiled brightly. Junho stared quietly at her smile, which held not a single shadow, then abruptly turned his gaze away again.
“When was the last time you came, oppa?”
“I’ve never been. This is my first time.”
His voice was cold, but Jiyu paid it no mind.
“Then I’m your first?! That makes it even more exciting! This is the best! I love it!”
Of course, no reply came.
“Should we get those too? Matching headbands! When you come to an amusement park, you’re supposed to do stuff like—”
“No. I don’t really like standing out.”
“Oh, but… everyone wears them, so it’s not that noticeable…”
When Junho walked off first, apparently deciding there was no point in continuing the conversation, Jiyu looked longingly at the headbands before following after him.
“Then what should we ride first? The roller coaster?”
Since she and Jia had spent all of yesterday coming up with plans, the matching headband attempt had failed, but Jiyu was determined to succeed with the roller coaster heart-pounding strategy. The plan was simple. If they rode the tallest roller coaster in the country together, the fear would make Junho’s heart race. Then when he looked at her, he would think, This must be love! It was a childish but cute plan.
“I’m not really interested. If you want to ride it, go by yourself.”
But Junho rejected the idea instantly, as if such strategies meant nothing to him. Jiyu’s face fell for a brief moment. Only a brief moment, though.
She quickly recovered and decided to activate Plan C.
“Then let’s ride the carousel and take a picture together!”
Taking photos on the carousel was something couples supposedly did at least once. They weren’t a couple, but since a man and woman had come to an amusement park together, leaving behind a photo would become a memory.
And of course I’m going to set it as my wallpaper!
She had come up with this grand scheme, but—
“I don’t really like taking photos.”
All that returned was Junho’s cold reply.
“Ah, um… I see.”
The plan she and Jia had worked so hard on last night had only gone that far. They hadn’t expected such a chilly reaction. Yesterday, even though she had dragged him along, the atmosphere had been decent. It had turned strange at the end, but he had still agreed to the amusement park date, so she had thought she wasn’t completely rejected…
...I guess I was wrong. Ugh, Junho oppa is so kind. Did he only come because he felt bad saying no? Then I feel even worse.
She should have felt hurt by how coldly he was acting after they had come all the way to the amusement park, but Jiyu was thinking something else entirely.
In the end, the two of them couldn’t do anything properly and simply walked, and walked, and walked some more.
“Um… oppa, are you hungry by any chance?”
They had met while it was still bright and kept walking until the sky began to darken, so hunger had finally set in.
“...Let’s go eat.”
His answer, which came after a slight delay again, was still cold.
“Okay! I know a good restaurant…”
“There’s no need to go far. Let’s just eat somewhere close.”
“Ah, sure. Hmm, we have been walking for a while, so your legs must hurt!”
The restaurant in front of them didn’t have nearly as good an atmosphere as the one she had researched, but Jiyu was happy anyway. Just the fact that she could eat a meal alone with Junho and talk to him was enough.
“I ordered the pork cutlet and udon!”
Normally, Junho would have taken the lead in ordering and picking up the food, but when they sat down at the table and she asked what he wanted, he didn’t answer at all. So Jiyu ordered whatever she liked and came back, but he still remained silent.
“Um… oppa, what’s your ideal type like?”
When Jiyu tried to break the awkward silence first—
“...I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.”
—only a dry answer came back.
“I see. Yeah, I’ve never thought much about my ideal type either…”
“In any case, you’re not my ideal type, Jiyu.”
Junho cut her off and spoke the cruel words without hesitation. His face remained completely unreadable, showing no hint of what he was thinking. It was an indifferent expression that looked both somewhat depressed and tired.
“...Ah, I see…”
For the first time, a hurt expression flickered across Jiyu’s face—the same face that had stayed bright and cheerful no matter what Junho said until now.
“That’s possible…! Ideal types are just… yeah, they’re just ideals.”
She smiled again right away, but Junho’s face began to change subtly after seeing that clearly wounded expression.
“Ah, the food must be ready! I’ll go get it, just a second!”
After that, not a single word was exchanged while they ate. Even Jiyu, who had kept trying to talk, focused only on her meal. Their dinner ended in an atmosphere that was neither romantic nor gentle, completely unlike the day before.
“There’s supposed to be a fireworks show tonight, so I found us a good spot…”
After leaving the restaurant, Jiyu looked up at the darkened sky and spoke as if she had just remembered.
“It’s close by, so even if you’re tired, let’s watch it together…!”
She reached out to take his hand but stopped mid-motion and pulled back.
“It’s this way, over here!”
She laughed awkwardly and pointed in the right direction before walking ahead. Her hand felt cold, as if she might cry at any moment, but something warm gently took hold of it without hurting her.
“...Huh?”
“Jiyu, I have something to tell you…!”
When she turned around in surprise, Junho’s expression was completely different from before. Looking incredibly sad, he opened his mouth to speak, and at that exact moment—
Bang!
Boom, boom, boooom—!
Brilliant, beautiful fireworks began to bloom one by one across the sky. The scheduled fireworks show had begun.
“Ah…”
An awkward silence fell between them for a moment. In Jiyu’s head, all sorts of thoughts swirled.
That sad expression. Those lips that looked like they had decided to say something.
I have to confess. If not now, I might never get another chance. Maybe he’s about to tell me not to do this again…
In the end, the one who broke that awkward silence first was—
“Junho oppa, I like you.”
Jiyu, who had been staring down at her wrist still held in his hand with a dazed expression.