Prologue: The Chicken That Wasn't
It had been ages since I'd hung out with my buddies. We were at our usual chicken joint, so nothing felt new, but the sheer joy of reuniting had the beers sliding down easy right from the start. Clink glasses, chug, repeat.
"Why are you pounding them back like that? You'll wreck your health. Eat some food first, man."
"Oh yeah, gotta take care of the body."
"Kuhahaha... You're wasted already, aren't ya? Man, you never change! No growth at all!"
"Shut it."
"Huu... Just open wide, and I'll feed you. Here, ahh..."
"Uh."
This beer's hitting harder than usual. Wasn't feeling it today? A fuzzy buzz crept up way faster than normal, my eyelids drooping heavy. But I still had enough wits to chomp down on the drumstick one of them shoved my way.
"Whoa!"
The moment my teeth sank in, the crispy skin shattered and the chewy meat exploded in my mouth.
"...Huh?"
It's kinda tough. Felt weird, like tearing into clothing or something. Must be the booze messing with me.
"Screw it!"
Everything felt off in the strangest ways, so I bit down hard. Then—bam—a flood of rich juices burst free! Salty-sweet, nutty, with that faint gaminess you'd expect from fresh meat...
"...?"
Why the fishy tang? Like biting into raw liver. Am I really that drunk? Didn't matter—the flavors were firing on all cylinders. And this texture, so tender yet springy... best chicken I'd ever had.
"Kinda tough though?"
Tasty as hell, but the mouthfeel was off from regular chicken. Not like chewing pork either... hard to pin down, but I'd never tasted anything quite like it.
"How is this so damn good?!"
Something was weird, but it was a delicacy for sure. My booze-glazed eyes snapped wide open.
And that's when—
"KyaAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!"
"Grraa?? (Huh??)"
My eyes flew open to reveal I wasn't gnawing on chicken. I was biting into the shoulder of some strange woman.