Under the Crystal Palace (4)
“......”
I could feel the tremor running through the large hand that held mine. Was this his first time at an event like this?
Seeing my bodyguard knight so unusually tense filled me with something uncomfortably close to guilt. Perhaps it was nothing more than my own selfishness. I hadn’t even needed to bring him here.
This was merely a ball, after all—one he could have attended in the ordinary relationship of bodyguard and princess. Yet the thought kept returning: had I dragged him into discomfort because of an impulse of my own?
Still, perhaps this was for the best. If I made it clear that Evan Fried was my bodyguard, then maybe no one else would dare take an interest in the Yuris family’s knight so lightly.
I knew about the letters stacked in his desk drawer. I hadn’t read them myself, but I could guess their contents easily enough, and just imagining them made me uneasy.
I didn’t know exactly why they bothered me so much, but the fact that they did was reason enough to keep them from ever reaching him again. Bringing Evan Fried to this ball as my partner would be enough to stop those indecent letters from arriving at the ducal estate.
The sharper minds among them would probably realize the moment I spoke so coldly that my treatment of my bodyguard was different from the way I had treated any of the others before him.
And yet that decision only made my own feelings more complicated. Why was I treating Evan, of all people, so specially?
Frustration at an emotion I couldn’t name creased my brows, and before I knew it, my gaze had wandered back to my bodyguard. The dark navy uniform that covered his body, the white sash crossing his chest diagonally, the gold flowers embroidered upon it—moonlight fell over him and broke into fragments, as though it were skimming across water.
But what drew my eyes wasn’t the uniform. It was the face he had been born with.
It was autumn, the season when leaves turned red and fell from the trees, and yet his eyes always seemed to hold spring. The green eyes that would never lose their color even in the depths of winter—when they met the green that had been burned so deeply into a corner of my heart, my lips pressed shut on their own.
No matter how many times I looked at him, he hardly seemed to have a knight’s face at all. How could someone who lived with sword in hand, who devoted his life to the blade and to his body, have such a graceful face?
When his long eyelashes trembled in the wind, he looked almost like a fragile flower. Perhaps he was the most attractive person I had ever seen.
Even if his station were far lower than it was now, he would still draw everyone’s attention in the end. My bodyguard knight had simply been born to be noticed.
He smoothed back his swept-back blond hair and looked at me, and I startled before I could help it. His green eyes always shook me. As time passed, every word that came from his mouth seemed to unsettle me more and more.
Was that why my chest felt so tight? Was that why emotions kept rising in me until I felt short of breath?
“I think I’m all right now.”
“...I see.”
In the past, I might have scolded him. I would have snapped at him with all the coldness I could muster, asking how he could fail to endure even a look like that. But the words that left my mouth now were as weak as reeds withered by frost.
My thoughts tangled until my face twisted. I only wanted to understand why I was acting this way.
After biting my lip for a moment, I parted them again and exhaled shakily.
“Let’s go.”
Maybe I was mistaken. Or maybe this was only a fleeting feeling that would pass in an instant. I erased the embarrassment from my face and put on my usual expressionless mask again before lifting my head.
I stepped toward the Crystal Palace, which rose high into the night sky and shimmered brilliantly under the starlight. I could only hope that whatever this strange tightness in my chest was, it would disappear somewhere inside that ball.
#
Irene’s hand was small. It was almost strange to think that such a small hand wielded a sword.
Wasn’t this the same hand that always held a pen while handling documents?
And yet, unlike its size, the sense of stability it gave me was enormous. Before I knew it, all the tension that had wrapped around my body had already melted away.
If I had come here alone, I probably would have made a fool of myself. But because Irene was beside me, I could finally breathe.
If she was with me, then whatever happened would probably work out somehow. That inexplicable relief swelled in my chest like a quiet tide.
Once we entered the interior of the Crystal Palace, rows upon rows of chandeliers came into view, bathing the palace in light. They were made of crystal too, and the many beams they caught seemed to collide and scatter within them. Compared to the darkness outside, the interior was so bright it might as well have had the sun hanging overhead.
And beneath that brilliance, the gazes directed this way began to prick at my skin once more. Unlike before, though, they were closer to curiosity than hostility. If they wanted to know something, wouldn’t it be better to just come up and ask?
Even so, the looks didn’t feel nearly as unpleasant now. Maybe it was because I was holding Irene’s hand. Maybe, just for this moment, I felt like I could even handle meeting the Crown Prince.
With a perfectly calm expression, I walked through the corridor of the Crystal Palace in step with Irene. After a while, it was Irene who broke the strange silence first.
“...If anyone speaks to you, answer them only as much as necessary, or ignore them. Most of what they’ll ask will be pointless.”
“Understood.”
“And watch your manners. If you make a mistake, remember that you won’t be the only one hurt—Yuris will suffer too.”
“Yes.”
“And also...”
Irene stopped walking for a moment and came closer to me, tugging lightly at the jabot around my neck as she narrowed her eyes. I flinched at how close she was—close enough that I could almost feel her breath—and she let out a faint sigh before speaking again.
“No, never mind.”
“...Pardon?”
“It’s not something I need to say, so never mind. Just... be a little more careful about how people look at you. It would be best if you kept your face as expressionless as possible.”
At this point, both Lise and Irene were giving me the same kind of warning, so I figured I ought to understand why. My face was honestly good-looking enough that, if I’d gone back to my old world, I might even have made it as an entertainer.
Given the reaction Lopena had shown, it was obvious my stack of letters would only grow even larger.
After I nodded, Irene gazed at me for a moment longer before averting her eyes and walking on ahead. Even so, she didn’t let go of my hand, and I couldn’t help a small snort of laughter before matching my pace to hers.
Clack, clack—
Our shoes echoed through the unusually silent corridor, and then, from far ahead, a huge set of doors came into view. For a moment I only stared at the massive blue doors carved all over with flowers. Then, as we drew near, they moved of their own accord and began to open.
That astonishing sight only held my attention for an instant. Soon enough, my eyes were stolen by the dazzling chamber beyond, and I felt the heavy, ornate atmosphere pouring out of it press down on me all at once.
If all the splendor in the world were gathered into one place, perhaps it would look like this. The sheer luxury of it, the sight of wealth pushed to its absolute limit, made me part my lips slightly in wonder.
“That’s Yuris’s next shield, isn’t he? But the person beside him—”
“That’s not Sir Adele, is it? I’ve never seen that face before. Could he be the new bodyguard they brought in?”
“The Fried count family’s...?”
Every word that drifted out of their mouths pointed to me, so I let out a quiet sigh. Hadn’t I expected this? I could absolutely endure this much, and I had to endure it.
As we slowly entered the hall, the decorations finished in the soft curves characteristic of Rococo design came into view. Instead of Baroque grandeur, there was elegance and gentleness here.
I studied the walls adorned with gracefully flowing patterns, as if someone had taken the natural softness of ocean waves and carved it into stone, then turned to Irene and spoke.
“No one seems to be approaching us.”
“I warned you earlier. They won’t come over so easily. It’ll get noisy soon, so prepare yourself accordingly.”
At that, I nodded once and looked around, searching for anyone worth remembering. Among the nobles who appeared in the novel, the important ones had illustrations attached to their names, so I wondered if I might recognize a face that way.
But no matter how long I looked, there wasn’t a familiar face in sight, so I picked up one of the glasses sitting on a round table. The purple liquid inside was clearly wine. It was a little disappointing that I couldn’t drink it because I was still too young.
Just as I set the glass down with a wry smile, Irene came over and narrowed her eyes at me.
“...Are you drinking?”
“No, I just looked at it for a moment.”
I was really only looking, but when I met her suspicious gaze head-on, Irene stepped closer to me and spoke in a low voice.
“Let’s go to the balcony. There are too many people here.”
“...The balcony?”
“You don’t feel uncomfortable staying here?”
At that, I could only nod. She was thinking of me, after all, and it would have been strange to refuse.
More than that, she was right—the stares directed at me didn’t exactly feel comfortable. I was fortunate that Irene was here. Without her, I was certain I’d have been hounded until the ball ended.
Before long, she stepped away, and I pretended to head somewhere else while making my way toward the terrace.
Unlike the banquet hall where the ball was being held, the corridor leading there was dark. When I finally reached the balcony, with its open doors, a cool breeze brushed my cheeks.
Was it really this comforting to be somewhere no one was watching me, unlike before? As the pressure squeezing my chest finally loosened, I let out a long breath.
For an instant, it felt as though the blurry haze over my vision had cleared completely.
“...Haa.”
Would Irene take a little while to get here? As the young lady of Yuris, she probably had quite a few people to greet on the way, so it looked like I would be spending some time alone here after all.
If there was any consolation, it was that the view from the balcony was beautiful. Letting the cool wind wash over me, I closed my eyes, and it felt as though every sound around me vanished at once.
It was peaceful. This quiet, this stillness, this darkness. That boisterous ball really wasn’t suited to me after all.
I would have preferred staying at the ducal estate, swinging my sword, chatting with Lopena now and then, and spending my days like that instead.
Why had Irene asked me to come here with her, anyway? I frowned faintly at the question that still sat unresolved in my mind and let out a sigh.
If only I could understand even a little of what Irene was thinking.
But reality was that I knew nothing at all. So I could only spend the time staring at the black sky overhead.
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