Chapter 125: Nightmare. (11)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 125: Nightmare. (11)
My life had its fair share of incidents and accidents, and one could certainly call it depressing if they wanted to, but I didn’t actually hate it all that much.
To be more precise, I used to loathe it with a passion. However, memories—whether good or bad—tend to weather away with time. At some point, I simply started calling them “recollections.”
I think it was around the middle of my second year in middle school when I began to feel that my life wasn’t so bad.
“Do you even have parents!?”
“No, unfortunately, they dumped me and ran. They aren’t around. Is it the same for you, sir?”
I felt that way especially when I could embarrass someone who insulted my parents in public.
When a bully tried to pick a fight by mocking me for being an orphan, I simply offered a perfectly logical rebuttal: “Oh, I never received a proper upbringing because I don’t have a mom or dad, but you’re acting like a total piece of shit despite both of yours being alive and well. I guess that makes me better than you, you dumbass.” For some reason, a fight broke out, and the teacher tried to pin the blame entirely on me.
So, I took it to the School Violence Committee and blew the whole thing up. When the teacher started insulting my parents too, I just fired back.
Oh, and of course, I recorded the whole thing. If he kept acting up, I was going to report him.
When I told my friend about this, she laughed for a long time, calling me a crazy bastard.
Was it really that weird?
“Of course it’s weird, you lunatic! You’re seriously the biggest psycho I’ve ever met in my life!”
“Hey now, if I were a real psycho, that teacher wouldn’t be able to teach anymore. I’m just using the recording for blackmail; I haven’t actually used it yet.”
Well, it was a shitty life, but I’d grown used to it in my own way.
I had friends, and I had my annoying but cute younger siblings at the orphanage to look after. I figured I’d start working once I finished middle school and my compulsory education was over.
Yeah, saying I’d grown used to it is probably more accurate than saying I didn’t hate it.
To put it a bit more bluntly, you could say I’d missed my window to commit suicide.
I was holding on well enough that the idea of dying now felt like a waste.
And surprisingly, after that incident, my reputation—which I thought would hit rock bottom—actually went up among the other kids.
Apparently, they liked how I didn’t back down and stood my ground against the obnoxious bully and the teacher.
In reality, it wasn’t that I was confident; I just had nothing to lose.
I lived recklessly because I had nothing to protect and no future I particularly cared about.
Though, calling it “having nothing to lose” was a stupid delusion on my part.
Anyway, that period was probably the most enjoyable time of my life.
Because of some jerk who told me to eat vegetables since my body was weak, I even learned to eat tomatoes, which I hated. When the bully I’d humiliated with my words came back for revenge, the Student Council President—of all people—showed up to help, claiming that school violence could not be tolerated.
I even got caught running a secret betting pool with my friends during the school sports day behind the teachers’ backs. It was a fun time, in its own way.
“Ah, dammit. We could’ve gotten away with it.”
“Are you perhaps the local lunatic around here?”
“Oh, please. I know you were trying to rig the match behind our backs to rake in the cash. I just let it slide.”
“Oh, you knew? Respect!”
“Cut the crap. If you weren’t my friend, you’d be dead by now.”
I remember that around this time, the girl who used to look like a boy with long hair started putting effort into her appearance.
It was probably because she, like me, had made friends outside the orphanage.
…Not that I felt any heart-fluttering emotions for her or anything.
We were just friends. To exaggerate a bit, we were like siblings.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“…Hey, we’re friends, right? No matter what happens, you’ll stay my friend?”
“No. If you stab me in the back or ask me to co-sign a loan, I’m cutting ties and running immediately. So don’t try anything, you crazy girl.”
“Ugh! It’s nothing like that! You really have a knack for ruining the mood. You jerk.”
“Well, unless something truly insane happens, we’ll probably keep being friends. Why? We live together and have seen each other at our worst anyway, so what’s the problem?”
“…Nothing. I’ll tell you when things are more certain.”
“What is this, a horror movie? Just say it. People who talk like that usually die early.”
“You crazy bastard… the things that come out of your mouth, seriously.”
“I’m just saying. Just saying~”
Well, like most people who live because they can’t bring themselves to die, it was a shitty life, but it had its enjoyable moments.
* * *
“Gah…!”
The Succubus Queen tried to flee into the sky, but her wings were paralyzed by the pursuing Lightning, and she crashed to the ground.
It was over.
The compatibility was too poor.
She had thought that even if she couldn’t go on the offensive, she would at least avoid taking damage. But after the boy shrouded in holy light appeared, even that premise crumbled.
Even now, the areas struck by the holy light stung, and the weapons wielded by the others began to leave proper wounds, likely due to the influence of that light.
The other children, who had returned upon sensing her danger, were being slaughtered helplessly. It couldn’t even be called a battle; it was a one-sided massacre.
More than the death approaching before her eyes, she felt resentment that her dream—which had been so close to realization—was collapsing so futilely.
The succubus race was never looked upon kindly, no matter where they went.
In the Demon Realm, they were treated as low-class prostitutes, except for the lucky few who succeeded. To humans, they were objects of loathing and avoidance.
Even those who could be considered “favorable” were merely perverts who treated them as playthings or “easy” women.
And on the rarest of occasions…
On the rarest of occasions, when a truly good person appeared who sincerely tried to understand and help a succubus, they would end up killed by the destiny of this wretched race.
They were a bizarre species where the boundary between affection and appetite did not exist.
A race that would obsess over someone they loved, draining them to their limit until they died, only to smile in satisfaction from their sated hunger before they could even feel sorrow.
Until they reached the level of a Noble Demon, they were lowly demons incapable of even suppressing their instincts.
Their minds were always clouded by lust, and by the time they reached a level beyond intermediate, they had already become too debased.
She had wanted to change that race.
She wanted a world where, at the very least, the children under her care could overcome their instincts.
In a Dream World always overflowing with life essence, a world where they could coexist by fulfilling the desires of those who provided the power…
Perhaps then, even the children who were still only Lesser Demons could live somewhat normal lives.
The essence of one or two people wasn’t enough. But with so many people, perhaps they could extract high-quality essence sufficient for satisfaction without killing anyone.
Was it a mistake to rely on an unidentified Authority?
Was it a mistake to try and transcend the limits of a species determined at the dawn of time?
Or was it simply a mistake to want to see that person one more time?
The light of the Holy Sword tore through her wounds.
A sharp blade touched her neck.
“…Deactivate the Dream World and surrender. I was taught that a Queen-class succubus can control her urges. No one has died or been seriously injured yet, so if you release them now, I can get you a reduced sentence.”
The brown-haired boy was quite well-developed.
Since he carried the thick scent of her daughter, was he her lover?
Given the distinct scent of a virgin, perhaps they were enjoying a fresh, youthful romance.
Hmm, not bad, but not quite satisfying either. He was indecisive and hesitant.
At the same time, he didn’t seem to fully understand how cruel his actions were.
To tell her to abandon her kin who followed her, to give up on the dream right before her eyes, and to bow her head just to preserve her own life.
To tell her to cast aside the children who called her Queen and settle for safety alone.
However, the boy spoke again, as if to prove her assumptions wrong.
“I know.”
“…What?”
The light of the Holy Sword at her throat flashed with a sharp, lethal edge.
“I know what you’re thinking, why you did this based on the circumstances and the nature of succubi, and what kind of burden you’re carrying. I’m telling you this despite all that. Surrender. You’ve lost.”
Ah, she was wrong. She thought he was still immature, but this was his final warning.
If she resisted any further, this boy would take her head without hesitation.
What she thought was hesitation was actually mercy; what she thought was indecisiveness was actually kindness.
It seemed someone had gradually guided this child, who should have been incomplete, toward completion.
If he understood that one must sometimes cut things away to protect others, then dying by his hand might not be so bad.
“…Are you finished talking?”
“…Do you have any last words?”
“I have none. Once this world disappears, there will be no children left to hear them.”
Ah, if I can’t see him one last time, I’d at least like to see my daughter.
But I am a mother, after all; I can’t impose such a burden on her.
Let this secret be buried in my heart, known to no one.
The Holy Sword shone, beginning to purify all the demonic energy in the area.
* * *
Middle school graduation.
The period where I enjoyed what could be called “school life” came to an end, and I chose to enter society earlier than others.
Well, there wasn’t any grand reason for it.
There was nothing I wanted to be, and I didn’t have the luxury to become anything anyway.
So, first and foremost, I needed money.
I got introduced to some older guys from the orphanage who were doing somewhat decent work, and I started working while getting chewed out relentlessly.
Since I had no guardian, getting my daily wages stolen was common, and I often had to take the fall for other people’s mistakes.
But surprisingly, I didn’t feel that miserable.
I’d already experienced too much to feel miserable over things like this, and perhaps it was also because the guys I thought were gangsters stopped picking on me as much once I got used to the work.
Anyway, my first experience with society was shitty, but it was a space I was familiar with.
“…Are you really not going to high school?”
“…Excuse me?”
In the winter of my sixteenth year, while everyone else was playing, the Director—who must have gone senile—approached me while I was working.
I stared at him, wondering if he’d finally lost his mind, and he cleared his throat before speaking.
“I thought you wanted to be a teacher. Or at least a childcare worker at an orphanage.”
“…I don’t know why you’re suddenly talking to me, but I don’t think we were ever on such friendly terms.”
“Have you still not forgotten? Is that why you treat the kids…”
“Ah, fuck. Shut your mouth. I was trying to show you some respect since you’re the Director, but just keep your mouth shut from now on. Just live your life without causing trouble.”
I knew what he was trying to say, so I cut him off rather violently.
We were never on friendly terms to begin with. We were just unpleasant housemates living under the same roof. That was the extent of our relationship.
“Is it too late?”
“What is?”
“Is it too late for me to repent and look back on my life?”
“Yeah, it’s way too late. You’re an old man now, what’s the point? I only leave you be because you’ve been quiet for the last few years, you stopped drinking and hitting the kids, and because we need your name as the Director.”
Honestly, even talking to him was disgusting; I wanted to punch him right then and there.
Respecting the elderly? I’d tossed that out along with my humanity long ago. I was more interested in an elderly beatdown than elder respect.
“If it weren’t for that, you’d have died by my hand a long time ago.”
“…I see.”
Hearing my words, he simply turned away with an air of resignation.
Yeah, if you haven’t done anything until now, don’t start. It’s just annoying.
…Well, despite that minor incident, things were okay.
Even though I was just earning money through part-time jobs and my life was just a collection of random skills I picked up here and there, I liked the feeling of building something up by earning money.
Sometimes when I worked at a restaurant, my friends would come by to give me business. When I worked at factories or labor sites, I’d get praised for being young and diligent.
I set a goal and started saving, and with the leftover money, I’d occasionally buy snacks for the kids, mimicking a teacher.
By that time, I’d become quite good at making a smiling face, not just a scowl.
Time passed, winter ended, and as March approached, she came to find me wearing a school uniform, as if to show it off.
Surprisingly, the tomboyish girl had become a rather pretty high schooler.
Just a year ago, high schoolers seemed like adults, but seeing her—of all people—in that outfit felt a bit awkward.
“Hey! You jealous!?”
“Wow… this girl is seriously teabagging me right now? Where’s your conscience?”
“Whatever. If you were jealous, you should’ve worn one too. It would’ve been nice if we went to high school together. I wanted to see you in a uniform…”
“If I go to school, who’s going to earn the money?”
Government subsidies have their limits.
The Director was pretending to have come to his senses, but he was old and powerless.
There were others who wanted to earn money, but none of them intended to invest it back into the orphanage.
So, I planned to do it.
“I’m going to remodel this place once I hit it big as an author.”
“…Oh, you say that like it’s a given?”
“Of course! So you better help me with my new work. I’ve already got the basic setting down!”
“What is it this time? That last one about the Imugi going ‘Rawr!’ wasn’t funny.”
“Ah, it’s nothing like that! This one is the real deal. I even picked a title.”
“What is it?”
“The Academy’s Holy Sword Hero! How’s that? Sounds cool, right? Academy stories are all the rage these days!”
“…I’ve read quite a few web novels thanks to you. Can I be honest?”
“Sure! Go ahead and praise me, you ignorant peasant.”
“…It sounds like a total generic mass-produced story.”
“Hey…!!!! Look at the setting before you talk! My motto is ‘different from the rest,’ okay?! You don’t know anything!”
…How could I not know? I know exactly how many of your stories failed because of that.
The work was incredibly hard, the pay was meager so my savings barely grew, I had to buy snacks for the kids, and I even had to spend my remaining time looking over web novel settings…
But even then, things were okay.
Because I had a goal. I could endure it.