Aigoo, Big Bro, I'm Busy – Straightening My Tie
I straightened my tie. My breath came a little short. Aigoo, but that wasn't the problem. My back... Urgh....
"Haa...."
There were crystal-clear reasons I hated fighting. One of them was this. Back in my tiger-smoke-and-sword days, overworking myself had brought on chronic disc issues, the kind even high-rank heals couldn't fix when treating Alun Orlan's second-degree burns. So I focused on rest, but it always ached like this, drawing out groans without fail.... Damn. This filthy romance fantasy. I knew it from the start. Convenience was just something they slapped on for their own benefit.
"Joseph...?"
"...Professor, you can drop the honorifics."
Looking down at Valentina, who was nestled in my arms with a blank, wide-eyed stare, I spoke in the voice of a rotting old man's maggot-ridden throat.
Even in full armor, they'd been crushed from all directions. Leaving behind the guards sprawled on the floor like a rug.
"There, satisfied?"
"............"
Relax. Like she said, I hadn't killed any of them. Holding back to just knock them out was harder work, but the thought of causing fatalities made my head spin. I'd gone above and beyond this time.
"Valentina. You promised to shut down the casino if I protected you without a scratch and took them all down."
"Ah, no...."
"Conditions met. Your turn to keep your word."
But Valentina seemed to have never imagined I'd actually pull it off. Her unusually shaken expression showed her floundering.
What I couldn't understand was why she was this shocked. I'd killed the Demon King, for crying out loud....
"I-I never made that promise, sir?"
Even so, she was trying to regain her composure. That had to be proof of her chops running a casino and her potential as an underworld heavyweight.
"Right. The premise was wrong from the start. Where does it say students have to go to school...?"
Where? In basic public morals.
"We couldn't force it anyway, so the deal ends here. Telling me to shut down the casino out of nowhere – that's just Joseph—"
"Professor."
"—Pro, Professor adding a one-sided condition, right?"
Ting. Wanna lose a wrist?
But with her pushing back like this, I had no energy for a verbal spar. I'd given the standard lecture, but her cheeky attitude meant it'd just go in circles.
So I nodded and admitted it outright.
"Yes."
Because I'd already analyzed her. Or maybe I'd known from the beginning.
Valentina Rothschild was a dopamine addict. Always chasing stronger thrills. And she'd spare no calculations or cunning to get them.
Trying to make someone like that submit with talk of morals or promises? That was wrong from the jump.
But leaving her here would turn her into a villain in no time. So I had to shut down that casino somehow. Even a temporary closure would do.
So I just changed direction.
"You're right."
"...Pardon?"
"Deal's off."
"So easily...?"
Her pupils focused on me. Cornered a bit, she was trying to read my intent. Or maybe gauging the new stakes.
"So, new deal?"
"A new deal...?"
"Yes. Since you won't acknowledge it, fine."
I jerked my chin at the guards still evenly strewn across the floor.
"Student, I'm not blind. I watched the whole time. Honestly, you were pretty entertained until they all went down."
"............"
Gulp—. Pride stung, she couldn't speak. But silence was a resounding yes.
"What I can show you is exactly what you just saw."
But soon, life sparked in her eyes.
"Follow me, and you'll see plenty more like it. Doesn't that pique your interest?"
"Inside school?"
"Anytime."
I felt Valentina hold her breath. It was just wordplay, but thoughts have a way of sparking motivation when framed right.
"But."
I said,
"The casino takes a break for a while."
......
How much time passed? Valentina slipped lightly from my arms, stepped onto the floor, propped her chin on one hand, and spun in place, lost in thought. Her dress hem brushed the guards without a care.
Of course, I didn't rush her. I knew exactly where her calculations would lead.
The total thrill from the casino.
...Haa. And the potential thrill of observing this idiot variable called Joseph up close at school.
Weigh those two, and for a thrill-seeker, the answer was obvious. I'd draw more interest than predictable gambling.
"...Pro, fessor."
As expected, she spoke.
"「For a while」...?"
Acting cautious, but her eyes already decided.
"Can you set a timeframe?"
"Until graduation."
"One year?! That's not 「a while」!"
"It is. You'll live a long life, student."
"...Hmph!"
She snorted through her nose.
"Fine, how about this? Back to square one. I won't shut it down completely – I'll just stop running it myself. Hand it to a proxy!"
No way. If that was the plan, do it from the start. Cheeky brat.
"No."
"Why not—!"
"You dipping into the underworld while attending school? Who knows when an incident might blow up. It could affect my side benefits."
"It's just a rice bowl issue!"
"Exactly. One of the few things I get dead serious about."
Valentina eyed me for a moment. Sizing me up, maybe?
And she probably thought: no escape, no matter what.
"Sigh. Big sigh."
Strong physical force breeds coercion. Even this runaway train called her knew to vent steam where I pointed.
"...Fine, as is."
Good.
"But...."
"Ah, what now! This is enough. It's convincing!"
But ignoring my irritation, she raised her pinky.
"While the casino's closed, keep me from getting bored?"
"...Isn't that already covered in what I said?"
"Exactly that. If I get bored, I'll run off and reopen it. Nyah nyah."
Ridiculous. But ridiculous as it was, I knew this was her maximum concession.
For now, securing temporary closure was enough. The rest... deal with it slowly. Or play dumb.
Anyway, in a year, I wouldn't be her homeroom teacher anymore.
"Deal."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
So I hooked pinkies with her.
"Feodosiya!"
"Y-Yes—?!"
I called to Lurua Feodosiya, who'd been standing dazed nearby, counting the downed bodies.
"Let's go. It's over."
"Great work, Pro-fessor?!"
"...What, why so stiff? Shoulder massage. It's a victory celebration. You helped this professor well today – I'll treat you to something at the shop."
Fine. Now the holdouts were all settled. How were these spiteful girls making even school attendance this hard? Aigoo.
The sun was already dipping low. My class kids had probably gone in on their own since they didn't show. Time for me to head back too.
Beep—.
"Urk—?!"
"Eh, you okay, Professor...?"
"F-Fine, Lurua...."
Damn it.
Should've had her do it.
* * *
The academy dorms were quiet. I knew quiet could be this nice, but tonight, retirement days felt achingly nostalgic.
Glug—.
Leaning back in my chair, tilting my glass, I slowly tallied the day.
First, as homeroom teacher, getting the whole Mist Flower Class to school – priority was handling the last two holdouts....
Lurua settled herself. Valentina, after twists and turns, settled.
It was honestly exhausting. All that was left was managing the ones I'd already wrangled.
Thinking about it, even that was a mountain of mountains.
Zigrinde.... Aigoo, like a Chihuahua.
One feral sword locked in detention. Figuring her punishment meant checking Irina's intent first, but academy eyes came before that.
Alun too. Hope she's okay. Should've swung by the infirmary. Got sidetracked with Valentina. Tomorrow, probably.
And the last one.... Whatever. No-shows were easiest.
Glug—.
'This sucks....'
Looking back, what was with all this? Just homeroom for kids, and this much hassle.
Back in my Korean life, classes had 30 kids, and here I was whining over 8. No face to show my past-life teachers.
Knock knock—.
"......"
But then the door rang. Who knocks this late?
Sion would be in dorms. Alun in infirmary, like I said.... Lurua? Nah, not a rule-breaker. Valentina hadn't started attending. Irina? Or Tiel? Ha, that timid one.
"It's open."
Slide—.
And who I greeted was someone I truly hadn't imagined.
"Long time no see, Joseph."
Seeing that face, I set down my glass.
Or rather, paused midway.
"...Duke Laval?!"
Standing there: sharp formal wear with one arm missing. Deep purple eyes above it.
Laval Lagrange. Bro. Why in this dump....
"Passed by on the way. Busy?"
".........."
Ah, busy? I glanced at the ceiling briefly.
Valentina. Lurua. Zigrinde. Alun. Tiel. Irina. Sion. The names I'd thought today spun laps in my head.
Right when your parachute failed and I was stuck teaching ex-professor dogshit duty thanks to you.
Of course I'm not busy!
"No."
But loyal me just said no politely.
Sigh. Yeah. What fault of yours?
"Good. Then I'm glad."
With that, Laval pulled up the chair opposite, naturally snatching my glass.
And said,
"Sorry for the late hour.... But I have something to discuss."
Boldly. Brightly. Like he bore good news.
And the instant I saw that expression,
'...Oh, this is bad news.'
I knew it. That look meant he was about to say something I didn't want to hear.