I'll Slice Her, You Drop the Chandelier
"Hey! What the hell are you doing up there!"
"Lady Rothschild, chase him off quick."
"I don't care who it is, but if you're messing with our game, you're not getting away with it!"
The mood was turning ugly by the second. But honestly, who gives a shit about what a bunch of gambling addicts have to say? I just picked my ear and ignored them.
Sure, I felt a little bad barging in while they were having their fun. But come on—the one running this casino is an academy student, right? These degenerates. Anyone who comes all the way out here can't claim ignorance. No excuses.
So my focus wasn't on those losers. It was locked entirely on what Valentina had said: "Another academy guy?" spat out in annoyance.
I'd figured I was the only one who'd gotten here before she went off the rails. Did someone beat me to it?
But as I pondered that, Valentina cleared it up for me herself.
Perched atop the chandelier like she owned the damn thing, she crossed her legs inside that flashy red dress, brimming with confidence that she wouldn't fall.
"Hmph, but did you really think I, Valentina Rothschild, would freak out over a little surprise visit like this?"
And not content with that, she threw her head back with an exaggerated laugh, like she was putting on a show for the crowd below.
"If so, you miscalculated...! Just a few days ago, my previous professor said the exact same thing when he showed up!"
"You're still here, so looks like that didn't work out for him."
"Of course not. I gave him special treatment—kyaaah~—and he had to waddle out wearing a diaper."
Figures. I had no idea who the guy was, but he'd come all the way here trying to do something, so I felt a twinge of sympathy. I'd assumed he was one of the professor clique trying to screw me over with some parachute bullshit. But nah—he must've really snapped from dealing with the Mist Flower kids. And a diaper? District 3 style, huh? Some shady crap went down. Poor wage slave...
"Anyway, that last professor's gone. I'm the new one."
"Oho, really? Sorry, but I couldn't care less~."
"Threaten me, ignore me—doesn't matter. My position hasn't changed, so pack it up and let's go."
"Hng~"
With that, she tossed her red locks dramatically.
"I don't like fools who can't seize the chance I give them. I didn't watch you long, but guess it's time for goodbyes?"
She dropped the champagne flute to the floor. Snapped her fingers.
Snap—
"Bye-bye~."
That innocent smile alone? No way you'd guess this girl's destined to rule the underworld. But right on cue came the thudding footsteps of armed guards charging in... and Lurua's panicked wail beside me, freaking out like her soul had fled.
"Professor! Professor...?!"
"Yeah, Lurua."
"Can you hear those footsteps?!"
"Of course. My ears work fine—I haven't hit deaf old man age yet."
"Then why aren't you running?! Hurry up and go! With that many, there's no way we can handle them!"
Fair point. Things were getting messy. Those heavy thuds and clanking armor? Even a stray dog could tell they were ex-mercenary guards. Beating down dozens one by one? My knees were already aching just thinking about it.
Boom—!!
"Grab him!"
Sure enough, they burst through the door like I'd predicted—exactly the kind of roughnecks I expected.
"Sigh..."
So, hoping to wrap this up quick, I slowly climbed onto the railing where I'd been leaning.
"He's jumping?!"
Lurua, slow on the uptake, thought I was about to leap. As if.
"This is a chance for a lesson, huh."
"W-what now?! I hate you, teacher...!"
"Don't stress. It's basic stuff, nothing to overthink. Lurua, when enemies swarm and their boss is right in front of you—what do you do?"
"...O-obviously. Take out the leader first."
"Exactly. Smart girl. They call it a decapitation strike."
"But why say that?!"
Me? I casually drew the sword from my belt. Took a deep breath.
Figured you'd all forgotten by now. But experience doesn't fade that easy...
I gauged the distance. Yeah, doable.
"Practical training. Ignore those guys for now—focus on hitting Valentina from up here. Got it, Lurua?"
"Y-yes?! H-how do you expect me to—"
Argh, come on! You can do it, kid! I'd never ask another student, but you...
"Crow."
Lurua's face stiffened. The Imperial assassination squad's name—and hers, probably. She was eyeing me like, How much does he know?
"I don't know anything about you. Promised to pretend, remember?"
"......Urk."
No dodging that. So, ignoring the charging guards, I wound up—
Whoosh—!!
"...K-kee?!"
Guess she never expected her "professor" to actually attack. She yelped like a spooked cat. But the blade's path veered from her—just right for the chandelier chain she dangled from.
Clang—!!
The sword pierced it clean. The finely wrought steel links snapped like twigs.
"Hup..."
And down she plummeted, that sinking feeling toward the floor hitting her all at once.
"Kyaa, kyahahahaah?!"
The second I saw it, I kicked off the railing and launched after her. Whispered to Lurua mid-air.
Whoosh—!
"Student Feodosiya...!"
"Y-yes—?!"
"You handle the chandelier. Make sure. Make sure it doesn't shatter."
"P-Professor, you're insane...!!!"
Her scream filled the VIP lounge, but no time to check on her. I had to snag flailing Valentina mid-fall!
Grab—.
"Eek?!"
"How's it feel to almost eat dirt?"
Lighter than expected. Reeked of pricey champagne and perfume. I landed lightly, soaking in the vibe.
Boom—!!!
Then a mana storm raged from behind.
"Ughhh—."
Nice. As expected from our crow operative. She'd mana-boosted her body in a split second to catch the falling crystal mass.
Weird to ask her to snag a chandelier weighing hundreds of kilos, sure. But she did it without a peep. Assassins gonna assassin.
"Hah, haaah... hng... S-saved it... I don't get it, but the chandelier's safe!"
"Gotta nominate you for employee of the month. Good job. Knew you could."
"Why make me do this, Professor!!"
Duh. That thing looks expensive as hell. Shatters? We'd be on the hook.
"Like I said, wanted to know more about you. See how far your skills go."
"Eut...!"
Of course, no way I'd say it straight and bruise her pride. Just called it a test.
"...Professor. You're more than I thought—."
Lurua looked deep in thought, but who cares right now?
"Student Valentina, you hurt anywhere?"
I glanced at the dazed girl in my arms. Her smugness? Gone. Face pale as death after nearly buying it.
"Why not just behave and avoid all this?"
But our eyes met, and she flushed red, thrashing like mad.
"H-hnggh!! P-put me down!!"
"Nah, taking you to school like this. Call a decent proxy to run the casino and wrap up."
"D-down! Put me down! Please! Down!!"
Nope. No can do. Stay put.
"Y-you psycho! Let the lady go now!!"
Right then, the guards finally rushed from above, screaming. Taking that as the signal, dozens drew weapons and surrounded us.
They looked pissed. Stay still? Seven orifices bleeding, incoming.
"Sigh..."
So I gripped the bow-taut Valentina tighter and said,
"Student Valentina. Think they'll hold back if you stay still?"
If they did? Perfect. Dream scenario.
...What?
"Guards!! I'm fine—attack now!! Let me go!!"
Should've known better than to hope. My wish drowned in her yells.
Fuck.
"Come on... even so, that many aiming just at me? No way. You'll get hurt too, Valentina. Gonna scrape you up."
"Don't care!!"
"I do!!"
She flinched.
"...Pardon?"
Right then, she looked up like I'd spouted nonsense, those gold eyes—pure materialism incarnate—scanning me with suspicion.
"What'd you just say...?"
Ah, that. Let me spell it out.
"I care... If we tank their attacks without fighting back and you get so much as a scratch, you'll sue the academy over nothing. Then I'm fucked."
"Pardon...? What...?"
"Anyway, this mess is on me—ruins my performance review! Hate that!"
"Why...?"
"I'm... just a guy on payroll. Wanna keep eating. This is all to protect my rice bowl, but you keep going rogue—it's a headache!"
Valentina paused, intrigued maybe? Gestured lightly from my arms, halting the guards.
"So, you... what's your name?"
"Joseph."
"Ugh, Demon King slayer? You're that swordsman? Wild! Why's the guy who killed the Demon King playing professor?"
Long story. Don't ask—I'll rage.
"So Joseph, no big reason—just guarding your paycheck by causing this mess...?"
...Well, complicated, but strip away loyalty to Sir Laval or protecting Sion... yeah, basically.
"Yep. Your last professor tried the same."
"Pfft-haha~!"
"Why laugh?"
"Totally different! That guy said he'd overlook my little playground for cash...!"
Whoa. For real? Sympathy revoked. Total psycho.
"Uhehe~... Now I get it. Joseph's hilarious. Intriguing, fun!"
"Great. You'll come to the academy then."
"Sure. Whatever."
Ooh. For real? Jackpot. Easy win.
"Nngh... but got a condition?"
But Valentina, beaming like a kid, snuggled deeper into my arms and said,
"Keep holding me like this and smash all the guards! Without hurting me, obviously."
"Huh."
"You said resisting might hurt me? So not resisting means you can protect me, right? Yeah?"
"Bold one."
"Those guys are all disposable anyway. Lives I bought. Kill 'em? Show your full power, no holding back?"
Her gaze had shifted—why the change? She'd found her dopamine hit in me, apparently.
...This little shit. Daring to think that about me?
"No. Don't get it twisted."
"...Huh?"
"You coming to school is what a student should do. No room for conditions."
"Not confident? Yawn~."
"...Hear me out. If you wanna bargain anyway, that makes it a deal from here on."
Her face hardened briefly.
"What’s that mean?"
"I protect you scratch-free and crush the guards. You give something too."
"—Huh! What now? Let's hear it."
"Shut down the casino."
…….
….
….
"H-huh...?"
Heard me fine. What's with the "huh"?
Was gonna let you hire a proxy if you behaved. Nah, you're out. Lurua, wait outside.