Jeonse Scam is a Romance Fantasy
"Lies, it's all lies──!!"
A hideous wail. A monstrous roar that would shatter your brain to pieces if you lacked high-level mental resistance.
The Demon King right in front of me was belting out something like that as his passive skill.
Tsk. But do I really need to spell it out that much? No one who's made it this far would fail to resist it anyway.
And besides, it's all over now.
"It's not a lie. Just die already, please."
Shwick──!!
The blade I'd planted in his shoulder came down horizontally in one swift motion, cleaving the bastard in half.
"Joseph, you did it... that guy!"
"Sir Joseph. As expected of you──!!"
And as the Demon King's massive body tumbled to the ground,
The cheers of my comrades shook the heavens, calling my name.
"──Joseph!!"
Then, shoving through their midst came a figure with eyes brimming with emotion, gazing at me.
The leader of the Hero Party and the current Hero himself, a noble soul: Laval Lagrange.
"You, you..."
He stared at me like he didn't know what to do, swallowing hard several times before finally speaking.
"You did it in the end. You fulfilled it. Humanity's long-cherished wish!"
"What choice did I have? You were out with injuries, so I stepped up."
"Haha, hahaha...!!"
"Anyway, you did well, Sir Laval."
"You did more than your share, Joseph. I'm proud. You're the finest man I've ever known...!"
"Shut up..."
Such was Laval──undeterred even by the despair of losing an arm to the Demon King──he just pulled me into a hug.
And only then did it finally sink in.
"...Ah."
Originally, that arm injury should've been the least of it; he was supposed to die without a trace today, but he'd survived to the end.
My story was pretty much over.
──Or so I thought, naively.
After getting smashed by that reincarnation truck, the world I was born into was the one from the novel I'd read: Rose of the Imperial Family.
And that novel was, to be precise...
My cousin sister's unfinished romance fantasy draft.
The writing was so sloppy it was barely readable, filled only with her pure desire to seduce capable men.
But it had an even bigger problem.
This romance fantasy was one where the world ended.
The Demon King shows up. And he kills everyone.
The crown prince? Dead. The northern grand duke? Dead. All the male leads die in the end, that's the gist.
"Why'd you write this crap, sis?"
"What's the problem?"
"If it's a romance fantasy, act like one and do some dating. Why bring in a Demon King?"
When I asked, she brushed it off casually, her eyes gleaming with the madness of a clear-eyed lunatic.
"Because I wanna make the Demon King a male lead candidate too."
"What...?"
"Kill 'em all first, send the heroine back in time, then give everyone a redemption arc."
That was when I knew for sure: this world was made by a crazy bitch.
Looking back, maybe she wanted her uncle and aunt killed off in the comments too, on top of the characters she slaughtered.
Anyway, fate was cruel enough to drop me into that world.
The conclusion was simple.
"If I sit still, I'm dead."
As my sister said, the heroine regresses, saves everyone, blah blah blah.
But the moment the Demon King ends the world? That's game over for me.
So only one option: lop off his head before he does anything.
"I'll kill him. I kill him... The killer is me..."
And for that, I had to get insanely strong.
But apparently, no one decreed I had to die.
I had my advantages too.
"Imperial Year 1725, His Majesty the Emperor has issued a special edict to thoroughly reform the court’s laxity──"
"Please, sis. Enough with that shitty Imperial Year crap. It pops up every other page! At least I know it's 25 years before the original story."
Small mercies.
I was born 25 years before the original plot kicked off.
In other words, I had about 30 years to prepare.
Another was that I was stronger than expected.
Thankfully, I had a natural talent for swinging a sword.
"Kill them all, take everything──!"
"Rape the women, kill the men!"
In this bizarre world, it was usually the opposite, but whatever.
One day, I stopped at a village terrorized by rare upright bandits──the kind with actual morals.
I couldn't just stand by, so I drew my sword and charged.
Huff, huff──.
Sword raised.
One. Two. Put your weight into it, swing when it feels right.
Thwack──.
The bandit's head──clearly a veteran of near-death scraps──fell pathetically.
"Thirteen..."
I survived like that every time.
But someone was watching.
Swish──.
A man approached silently, lightly.
"My word, kid."
"Gah, you scared me."
"You took down all these ruffians by yourself...?"
His voice was kinder than anyone's, blue eyes shining as he knelt to my level.
"Yes, sir knight."
"Why didn't you run?"
"I'd have run if I could, but they were harassing the village women. Someone had to step up."
To my bold words, he smiled warmly.
"...I see. Well done. May I have your name?"
"Joseph. No family name."
"Why's that?"
"My parents ditched me. So I'm just a wandering brat."
"...Haha, since when could we call a prodigy like you a 'brat'?"
Then he introduced himself.
"Kid, I'm no ordinary knight. I'm Hero Laval, raised by the Empire to subjugate the Demon King."
"Oh. You're Sir Laval?"
"You know me? That makes this easier."
In the original story I'd read, he never appeared──just mentioned as failing the final battle.
True to his noble setting, he showed grace from the start and took me under his wing.
Or rather, eyed me hungrily.
"You've piqued my interest. If you have nowhere to go... would you wield your sword by my side?"
What could a kid with nothing do but agree?
"Of course. I'll serve you well."
"...Are you really a child?"
"Twelve, as far as I know. Memories fuzzy, might be older."
"Uh, um. Alright... fine."
After that, I grew under him and his party, learning and feeling much.
But by the time we slew the Demon King, it was just a ghost of the past, not worth rehashing.
More importantly...
"Subjugation force! My Hero and his Demon King subjugators!"
"Your Majesty."
"I praise you who brought eternal prosperity to this world. Your feats shall be etched in history forever, so humanity never forgets!"
"Thank you, Your Majesty!"
"Speak your wishes. Nothing is beyond my granting!"
For me now──after clawing to survive, with everything done──what mattered was how to live after.
And my answer was simple.
"Joseph, you who slit the Demon King's throat──what do you need?"
"Retirement."
"What."
Retirement.
At those words, the room went dead silent...
........
......
.....
Why, though?
Laval was supposed to die but lived. The world won't end by the Demon King's hand.
In a few years, the Imperial Academy storyline starts, with all their drama──that's their problem.
I started by killing the Demon King and secured my safety. Nothing left for me.
Instead, I wanted to retire young, build a picturesque house on a hill...
It's a romance fantasy, sure, but fantasy nonetheless──live out my days in that dreamed life...
Basking in warm sun, killing time with hobbies, happy days forever.
No need for present tense──that was my plan from the start!
"Ha, hahaha!!"
"Your Majesty...?"
"If that's Joseph the hero's wish, how could it not be? Would I torment the man who broke humanity's chains?"
And the magnanimous Emperor granted it.
Thus, I easily claimed this perfect life.
"Ahh, the best."
Slurp──.
Years without touching a sword. Calluses faded.
Demon King slayer? Old news.
Now? Just a NEET sipping coffee on a hill, nothing to do after waking.
In a normal fantasy world, coffee'd be a luxury──but this is a rofan.
Plantations or not, it's like roadside weeds here...
Even if life was tough before, retirement life? This world for the win.
"Some smoked bacon left──grill that for lunch today...?"
Now pondering meals over fights.
My happiness seemed eternal.
Knock knock──.
........
......
.....
"Who's there?"
"Imperial Debt Management Office."
"Pardon?"
But years later, they showed up unannounced.
They marched in, slapping red seals everywhere.
What the fuck.
"Hold on, what the hell? What's with the seizure tags...?!"
"P-please don't do this. We're just doing our duty!"
"Duty my ass! What's happening to my house──!!"
They tried at first despite me being there.
But recognizing me, they flinched at my gentlemanly roar.
"Ah, that... This estate is rightfully seized for mortgage execution."
"Ha, what? Mortgage...?"
"Yes, mortgage."
"What nonsense is this? This is my friend Orlan Count's place. 60-year lease."
"...You haven't heard."
Of course not. When did I subscribe to newspapers?!
They handed over a simple document.
Orlan Count's Disappearance. Having vanished without leaving his territory, all Imperial departments are requested to cooperate fully.
Long-winded, but gist: landlord Orlan bolted.
"Seizure..."
"Yes, due to debts."
"......"
"Sh-should we proceed?"
"Ah."
Seeing that, I thought:
Fucked.
This is──.
Crunch──.
"It's a jeonse scam, fuck..."
No.
...Makes sense, right? People live here too.
Victim sheds blood tears; scammer loves the convenience.
So, through my numbing mind, I concluded.
Jeonse scam is a romance fantasy.