Sinking the Baltic Fleet and the March on Tokyo
With the war named CDO #4 and the rampant issuance of currency fueling a real estate boom in Britain, I added the umami of deteriorating trade balances. To strip them clean later, you need just the right mix of bitterness and savoriness. Naturally, I didn't forget the sweetness either. I sold off all the slush funds invested worldwide to local collaborators, then poured it into the London stock exchange. That way, everyone sniffing around my black money would buy into Britain's boom. Everyone had to believe in Britain's prosperity and drive the markets up. Only then could I dump it all, convert to gold, short their currency printing presses, and bail.
I planned to hammer home to the Brits that black swans exist in this world—and that there's no such thing as a free lunch. Having dosed the Brits sufficiently and prepped them to end up like Japan, I turned my gaze to Siberia and Japan. Those island bastards were just as infuriating. No, maybe even more so. Britain was just insane; Japan had tried to screw over their big brother. When big bro gets tea dumped on his head, you at least come console him or help out—instead, they picked a dogfight in Siberia.
I'd silently greenlit Japan buying British warships, ordered some when they whined too much, and extended a hand before they collapsed. They'd paid off their debts plenty. But while big bro was forcibly holding hands with Britain, all they offered was cheers? Well, I had plans too. I hoped they'd show some guts—at least chop off a big-bro hand bitten by zombies, like the one Britain lost last time.
"Get the ships ready."
I signaled Comrade Lenin, who'd been sending signals for a while, that it was about time and to stand by, then prepped ships bound for Japan. Sleep-deprived and itching to end that nerve-grating dogfight. Japan too.
Russia was confident of victory. Supplies of men and arms rolled in along the rail lines today as well, pushing the Japanese into pure defense against that numerical violence. Did the Japanese know? That Daehan—the ones selling them bullets—was actually giving them 2 or 3 times more bullets, clothes, food, and booze.
Daehan—no, Joseon—had negotiated with them the moment they were driven into that frozen Siberia. A slap on the cheek, then offering a drink. Back then, Russia thought, What kind of bastards are these? But as they encouraged occupying Port Arthur without permission and turned a blind eye, adding to their Siberian investments, they became increasingly inscrutable. Then they wondered if they'd use those rails to tear them apart... but watching that country grow stupidly massive, they thought, What did they eat wrong? Now, even if those rails were four tracks instead of two, they were opponents they didn't want to fight.
Looking back, it was hard to believe those bastards were such pushovers. But it was fine. At present, that country didn't recognize Britain alone—it was blatantly pro-Russian by shitting on Britain. If they hated Britain, who would they cozy up to? America? No way. Russia, obviously. Even with Japan—receiving Britain's orders—squatting on their ass and gazing pathetically, they weren't giving away a thing for free.
By contrast, Russia just needed to send men; Korea was providing massive Lend-Lease. Russia's thrill at Korea's double-dealing knew no bounds. Growling up front, then stuffing them with bullets and vodka behind their backs. Russia nodded. How pissed must Korea be? Japan had trampled the Siberia where they'd secretly met.
Russia was more than willing to fertilize Siberia with a million or two million islanders in exchange for those bullets. They could settle the bill at market later. Factoring in the Baltic Fleet rounding the Cape of Good Hope, Russia saw zero chance of defeat. Suez was probably Korea's doing too. The Japanese hoped for Korean mediation, but what could be done? Korea was their biggest enemy.
Russia planned to negotiate with Korea and swallow Hokkaido. Generously cede the rest. They were in it for the long haul. This honeymoon was thrilling. Everything was fine for Russia. Until the Baltic Fleet, having circled the globe, hammered Kyushu's Fukuoka with cannon fire, and the Japanese Empire trembled in terror toward death.
Yes. Russian victory was at hand. Thanks to unyielding Japanese trenches, no more land advances, but with retreat cut off, victory was sealed. They basked in joy. Until sleeping Korea snapped awake and declared war on Russia.
Russia doubted their ears. Was there another Korea up north? Or south? Precisely, Korea didn't even declare war on them. They just clustered submarines and slammed torpedoes into the huddled Baltic Fleet blasting ports. Chasing them would be a hassle. At that moment, the world's most submarine-vulnerable, unprepared fleet—designed against Britain and Germany—meekly became reefs.
Russia felt more déjà vu than rage at Korea's sneak betrayal. Because when Japan had declared—no, sneak-attacked—Russia before, they'd shoved in that now-obsolete "guarantee of Korean independence" clause. With Japan's declaration premised on protecting Korean sovereignty, Korea could join anytime. It was more natural to see them as already in.
Of course, Korea said nothing, showed no sign, and ultimately spat, "I'll stay neutral," letting them duke it out. So Russia was confident. That same Korea had once offered them a port. Same with the rails; to a land power like Korea, Russian expansion wasn't a big worry. So they relaxed. Though they occasionally synced up to test strengths.
Russia suddenly recalled that day. That obsolete independence guarantee—was it bilateral? Yes. The issue: Korea scoffed at Japan's war for Korean independence from Russia, claiming neutrality. But for Russia's warlust against Japan proper, they hadn't cried neutrality. Astonishingly, Korea didn't need to declare war on Russia. Strictly speaking, Russia had just done it to Korea.
Blasting Japan meant the Baltic Fleet...
Admiral Georgy of the Baltic Fleet thought as his battleship sank. "Come to think of it, that guy... no, that country has no intention of fighting a proper war."
Britain, Japan, Qing, Joseon... that country—no, that man—had never once let a real battle happen. By the time you came to your senses, his enemy was already served alive on his table. He always whipped out the knife—no, knife and fork—at the moment he felt he'd "won."
"Worrisome."
No matter how he thought, the Baltic Fleet wasn't the target. And that worry soon became reality.
"Commander Alexei, the rail lines are cut."
"With the Baltic Fleet sunk?"
"Korea's occupied the Urals and is demanding surrender."
"And the Qing just opened the border again?"
"Not sure that's the phrasing... Might as well recolor the map as Daehan."
Silence fell.
"Surrender without a fight, just like this?"
Ridiculously, that was the most likely. With ships and rails blocked, options were starve in Siberia or charge Japanese trenches. Alexei inwardly leaned toward surrender. How to fight like this?
The problem: Korea's idea of surrender—what they demanded from Russia—differed from Russia's. Russia now struck the most humiliating pose since the Tatar yoke. Korea, once meekly underfoot, had grabbed their fleet and rail-state legs, folding them back.
Through Korea and Comrade Lenin's sabotage, over 2 million were isolated in East Siberia. A bit longer, and Korean probes would spark mass surrenders. Sadly, instead of tangling with those 2 million, they were real-time occupying from the Urals via Eurasian rails—snapping the waist was just a matter of time. Already treated as "caught meat."
The problem... was that it was true. They wanted to rage at Korean betrayal, but couldn't even in this state. They had to beg to breathe. Retaliation meant silence.
'Wanna call it a draw?'
Shake head.
'You know this kills us both! Really die together like this? Britain wins.'
'Yeah, sending armies over Urals is tough. Rails all cut.'
'We'll resist to the last man! You know me.'
'I do. No plans to yoke you again.'
'...Korea's got a knack for shitty examples, friend.'
'...Fight? In this pose? Legs'll rip.'
'Not that... But hungry. Food? Booze if possible.'
'Okay!'
Surprisingly, Korea grabbed both legs, folded the waist in half, but went no further. Fed over 2 million—food, booze, fuel. Took guns and bullets, though. Russia relaxed. Foe, but friendlier than expected. No humiliating demands beyond surrender; just "pause if we disagree."
Maintaining this humiliation irked, but it was because they wouldn't surrender. No surrender for Russia. No matter the disadvantage, the silver lining: Korea had no intent to inflict life's greatest humiliation. Russia needed to become Soviet with Lenin's revolution and eye Europe.
Yes—the goal of this chain wasn't Russia. Japan.
"Wind's cold."
"Tokyo's warm enough."
The Supreme Leader landed in Tokyo. Leading his vanguard.