The First Mother-in-Law War
But... my body feels strangely off. Why do I keep passing out like this? I've never fainted once in my entire life until now.
Last night's blackout couldn't just be chalked up to simple fatigue—it was happening too often. And it couldn't be the corset either, since I wasn't wearing one in whatever I had on last night.
With the maids supporting me, I finally sat down at the table where breakfast was laid out, and that's when I started to suspect the cause.
"Chief lady-in-waiting."
"Yes, Your Majesty. What is your command?"
"Is this it?"
There was hardly anything on the table that could be called food. Just a small glass of thick red liquid, a bowl of white milk, and a couple of biscuits on a tiny plate. Calling them biscuits was being generous, too.
This was the empress's breakfast?
"Yes, Your Majesty. This is the morning menu you personally ordered."
Esterházy began her explanation without a hint of hesitation.
"Fresh raw beef juice, milk straight from the farm, and for dessert, violet petals preserved in sugar."
She stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Yesterday, I'd assumed they gave me invalid food after I fainted, but no—this was apparently normal.
Raw beef juice? What the hell was that?
"We've also prepared the emperor's menu alongside yours, Your Majesty. Given today's grueling schedule, would you prefer to switch to the other one?"
I didn't miss the phrasing. It wasn't a question—it was worded like one.
Time to play by the rules I'd learned. "Today's schedule must be quite demanding, then."
Countess Esterházy's voice rose slightly, her usual icy demeanor cracking just a bit, as if she'd finally gotten the chance to explain.
"I wouldn't presume to suggest it, Your Majesty, but on a day like today, opting for a more standard breakfast might be wise."
She subtly praised my choice before rattling off the normal menu.
"Freshly brewed Viennese coffee and rich hot chocolate, warm Semmel rolls straight from the oven with buttered Kepfir, fresh butter and honey, and housemade jam with apricots and raspberries. If desired, thinly sliced ham and sausages, along with soft-boiled eggs, are ready to be served at once."
Now that was food. Just hearing it made my mouth water, as if I could smell the coffee and fresh bread.
That was what humans ate! A perfectly normal, hearty breakfast to kick off a lively day!
But I couldn't admit to mere hunger or gluttony as a Habsburg. She'd mentioned a grueling afternoon schedule. Changing the menu wasn't personal indulgence—it was a necessary preparation for fulfilling my public duties as empress.
Yeah, that worked.
"Your words carry wisdom, Chief lady-in-waiting." I looked at Esterházy. "To carry out the empire's vital tasks this afternoon without flaw, proper preparation is essential."
Oh, and we couldn't disappoint the empire's subjects, right?
"For the sake of the empire's peace today, we must consider a different approach from the usual."
Esterházy bowed with a faint smile. "It shall be served immediately."
While the maids were out of the room, the Archduchess Sophie swept in. Emperor's mother or not, was it okay to just barge into someone else's bedroom like this?
"Is this all the girl who calls herself empress plans to eat?"
The Archduchess glanced contemptuously at the tray of raw beef juice I'd just rejected.
Without giving me a chance to respond, she nodded to a maid behind her. The maid stepped forward and dramatically unfurled a pristine white sheet.
Immaculately clean, without a single stain—no telltale blood spot proving consummation anywhere.
"Joseph told me. Nothing happened last night."
Joseph... told her that?
That guy ran to his mommy and blabbed about our most intimate bedroom secrets?
The one person I'd thought was my shield had stabbed me in the back with the sharpest knife.
I clenched my cooling hands into fists.
Satisfied with my paling face, the Archduchess stepped closer. "I knew you were a foolish girl, but I never imagined it to this extent. Have you forgotten your first duty as empress? Your body isn't yours alone. It's a sacred vessel for conceiving the Habsburg heir, and last night was the most crucial opportunity to fulfill that duty."
Her voice dripped with contempt and fury.
"And you just fell asleep because you were 'tired'? My son Joseph may indulge your whims, but I do not. You've shirked your empress's duty and sullied the family honor."
The door opened, and Countess Esterházy entered leading the maids with trays of a bountiful breakfast. Unfazed by the frozen atmosphere or the Archduchess's presence, she silently set down the coffee and bread before me.
The Archduchess let out a incredulous scoff. "Finally got an appetite, have you? Good. Stuff yourself. I won't tolerate you neglecting your duty again tonight. I'll be watching closely."
With that final warning, she turned and left without a backward glance.
A steaming, warm breakfast sat before me, but I had no desire to eat.
Countess Esterházy stood silently by my side.
Everyone in the room now knew the emperor was no longer my shield, and that tonight, I'd have to fulfill my duty under my mother-in-law's watchful eye.
But not me. "...The Archduchess must be quite unwell. Calling the empress a 'girl' like that."
I addressed the farthest maid. Foolish girl, was it?
"You there, by the door. Do I look like some lowly wench to you?"
The low-ranking young maid jumped at my call, lifting her head in surprise.
"Ah... N-no—"
Tsk. Don't answer. Esterházy was the Archduchess's ally—if you spoke up here, you'd get on your direct superior's bad side.
I just wanted to show I wasn't the type to stay quiet.
"Then what are you waiting for? Serve the utensils."
If the Archduchess wouldn't treat me as empress, I'd do as I pleased too.
"Your Majesty."
"Chief lady-in-waiting, my lap already has a napkin."
Spreading the napkin on my lap signaled the start of the meal; placing the utensils on the plate in a specific way afterward meant clear the dishes.
I'd followed etiquette perfectly. It was the maids who'd been distracted by the Archduchess, wasn't it?
"We apologize for disturbing Your Majesty's peace of mind."
Finally, forks and a multitude of knives were laid before me.
"The head chef must have taken special care with these to perfectly complement today's luncheon flavors. Chief lady-in-waiting, it might be wise to learn any stories or special uses for them beforehand."
Esterházy stepped to my side and began explaining dining etiquette. I finished the meal satisfactorily.
No appetite or not, an army marches on its stomach. I didn't know about mother-in-law drama, but between the Archduchess and the empress, who held the higher rank? Me.
No need to fight on her turf.
Joseph Schoda of the imperial palace rushed toward the empress's quarters.
"Countess Esterházy, so what's the problem? She was fine even this morning, wasn't she? This isn't some ploy to cancel the schedule, is it?"
"It's no malingering. But perhaps eating differently from usual is the issue."
"If I deem it impossible to diagnose, the afternoon schedule must be canceled. Her Majesty's health comes first."
Esterházy halted. "That cannot happen. The gazette announced this morning that Her Majesty is well. Canceling immediately after would be unthinkable."
"Did Archduchess Sophie say that?"
"...She is Her Majesty the Empress."
"Madness. Calling the Archduchess 'Her Majesty' when we have a real empress."
Esterházy didn't argue. She figured Schoda would understand once he saw for himself whom she meant.
As the door to the empress's bedroom opened, tension thickened the air.
The young empress lay precariously on the bed, clutching her stomach with a pallid face.
Schoda quickly assessed the patient. 'Cold sweat, shallow rapid breathing, pained grimace.' Not a serious illness, but clearly acute discomfort.
"For Her Majesty's comfort, please have all maids except the chief lady-in-waiting withdraw."
At Schoda's firm tone, the maids hesitated, but Esterházy's nod sent them quietly out.
Schoda approached, bowing at the waist. "Your Majesty, I am Joseph Schoda, imperial physician. Could you describe where and how it hurts?"
"My stomach's churning... and it hurts..."
Her voice was a feeble whisper.
Schoda nodded, glancing at Esterházy. "What was breakfast this morning?"
"A normal menu. The other maids ate from the kitchen too—no one else has symptoms."
Schoda was aware of the empress's usual diet. "Nausea aside, any other symptoms?"
Sisi nodded weakly.
"Your Majesty, I need to examine your abdomen. Please lie comfortably."
He placed a thin cloth over her stomach and pressed various spots with expert hands. He soon pinpointed the issue in the upper abdomen.
Pressing his left middle finger firmly against her belly, he tapped atop it sharply and precisely with his right. Thump-thump—like the hollow drum of an empty barrel.
"As suspected... full of gas."
Schoda muttered, then pulled a wooden stethoscope from his pocket and listened to her belly. His brow furrowed slightly after concentrating.
Gurgling noises, like her intestines struggling to move.
He straightened and turned to Esterházy. "No poisoning or serious condition. Acute indigestion. Her stomach was nearly empty for so long, then suddenly hit with rich, heavy food—it couldn't cope. The afternoon schedule—"
"Give me medicine."
He turned to see the empress sitting up, sweating coldly but determined.
'...She is Her Majesty the Empress.'
'So that's what she meant.'
"Your Majesty, I'll speak to His Majesty the Emperor. You can't manage the schedule in this state."
"I'm fine. The subjects waiting for me... aren't they?"
Sisi pressed on weakly. "Just painkillers. Rest after, and it'll pass."
Sophie— that woman would surely use any schedule cancellation as an excuse to strip the empress of her authority. I had to protect my power while pulling the emperor to my side; only then would I gain true freedom. I had zero intention of sitting out like the original Sisi.