First Night's Sanctuary
The footsteps toward the bedroom on their first night were inevitably a little quicker than usual.
That place was where Sisi existed, the only space in his black-and-white world that radiated vivid color. His steps toward her quickened, drawn like a magnet.
He wished the door would open just a bit faster, but the valet seemed oblivious to the emperor's impatience, opening it at the usual deliberate pace.
“His Majesty the Emperor arrives.”
At last, the bedroom door swung open, and the first thing that caught Franz Joseph's eye was Countess Esterházy-Lichtenstein standing beside her.
He had to force himself not to frown at the sight of her.
That damnable woman.
The countess's perfection—like she wouldn't bleed even if stabbed with a knife—was utterly exhausting.
And next came Sisi into view. His wife.
She wouldn't normally be sitting like that…
Joseph anticipated her rising to her feet, unleashing the rigid court protocols, and sighed inwardly.
Under Esterházy's tutelage, she'll deliver a flawless salute and recite her scripted lines like an emotionless doll. Just like what I've seen from my ministers all day long. Do I really have to endure that in my own bedroom?
But what met his eyes was an entirely different scene.
As if she hadn't anticipated his arrival, Sisi's delicate shoulders jolted in surprise.
Her face flushed with obvious panic, she began an awkward attempt at a curtsy.
The elegant, deep Hofknicks that Esterházy must have drilled into her was nowhere to be seen; she wobbled precariously, like a fledgling bird on the verge of toppling.
“Uh… w-welcome, Your Majesty.”
Instead of the prescribed lines, an unfiltered, honest voice slipped out.
In that instant, the stern imperial mask that had been fixed on Franz Joseph's lips melted away. The fatigue that had weighed him down all day dissolved like snow in sunlight, replaced by a warm smile.
Ah, thank goodness. She's still herself.
She wasn't the perfect empress molded by Esterházy. Nor the exquisite jewel his mother desired.
She was the girl who tried her clumsy best for him alone—who trembled in fear but gazed up at him with clear eyes. The Sisi he had fallen in love with was right there.
Without hesitation, he strode forward and gently grasped her small hand, helping her to her feet.
“That's enough, Empress. You've had a long, tiring day.”
He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. He couldn't risk skipping even this, lest his mother scold her more harshly.
“N-No, Your… Your Majesty's labors are beyond compare.”
He flicked a brief glance toward Countess Esterházy, standing in the corner of the room.
It's our first night. Surely that's sufficient?
A silent command to withdraw.
Esterházy led the maids away without a sound, and at last, the heavy door thudded shut.
The gray world outside was perfectly sealed off.
Franz Joseph gazed at his still-flustered wife and smiled softly once more. Even the awkward silence felt peaceful.
He was no longer the emperor—just a man with the woman he loved. This was the only space in Joseph's world that held any color.
What was this atmosphere, exactly?
Whatever it was, thanks to the emperor, I'd escaped a scolding.
From what I'd learned, imperial couples didn't change clothes themselves…
Did I have to undress him?
A quick scan of the room revealed no attendants in sight.
He cleared his throat softly and fiddled with the buttons at his collar.
“I should change as well. Shall I summon your maids?”
“It's fine, Your Majesty.”
“Esterházy and my mother aren't here now. No need to be so formal, Sisi.”
Did I really have to do it? Myself?
As I hesitated, Joseph nodded toward another room.
“I'll go change.”
While he headed off to change, I perched on the edge of the bed, lost in thought.
I couldn't let this awkward silence drag on.
What should I do?
Aaah… I had no idea.
It was bad enough being dropped into this place out of nowhere, but after a day of suffocating etiquette lessons, my muscles screamed in protest, and my mind felt fogged like it was shrouded in mist…
The bed's soft embrace pulled my body backward without me realizing.
The bed was enormous. Was this the imperial grandeur?
Big enough for several people besides me, with two plump pillows.
Two pillows…?
Lightning struck my brain. I snapped awake.
Wait—this was our first night together?
I'd endured the dress, the makeup, the etiquette as mere acting. But the first night? That wasn't something I could just perform my way out of!
My thoughts tangled into knots, my heart pounding wildly.
What do I do? What was I supposed to do? Was there any way to escape this—
That was as far as I got before the world spun, and consciousness snapped off.
Extreme tension and exhaustion had shut down my body completely.
A short while later, Franz emerged in comfortable nightclothes and scanned the empty bedroom.
His wife, who should have been there, was nowhere in sight.
“Sisi?”
With a twinge of worry, he approached the bed slowly and parted the heavy canopy curtains.
There lay Sisi, lost in deep, oblivious sleep.
Her unpinned hair ornaments dangled precariously, and her lightly colored lips parted slightly as she breathed evenly.
At the sight, a soft smile tinged with pity and affection curved Franz's lips.
She must have been exhausted.
Recalling Countess Esterházy's relentless badgering all day, he marveled that she'd held out this long.
Joseph resolved to prioritize her peaceful rest over first-night duties.
He approached carefully, slipped off her slippers, and lifted her gently into a proper sleeping position.
Finally, he removed her hair ornaments with tender hands and placed them on the bedside table.
With everything prepared, Joseph lay beside her, silently gazing at his sleeping wife's face for a time.
“Sweet dreams, Sisi.”
The first thing to rouse me was the faint light.
Ah… so it wasn't a dream.
It felt just like the second day at boot camp…
I'd hoped opening my eyes would make this hell vanish, but reality offered no such escape.
And then, the unfamiliar warmth and steady breathing beside me sent chills down my spine.
I stiffly turned my rigid neck toward it.
There was Joseph, sleeping peacefully.
What happened last night…?
Had he…? Did we…?
I yanked up the covers in a panic, but found no traces.
“Sisi, still tired?”
His voice, husky from just waking—the first words of concern I'd heard since arriving here.
“Time to rise and start the day—”
Right then, Joseph gently caught my hand and eased me back down.
“No, it's fine. Not yet.”
He pointed to a small bell on the bedside table.
“No one enters this room until I ring that bell. Not even Esterházy or my mother.”
In that moment, I realized it.
This man wasn't just about oppressing or controlling Sisi.
Sometimes, Joseph's imperial power was the perfect shield protecting her.
This brief morning before the bell rang was the sole safe haven he'd carved out for me in this hellish palace.
Still holding my hand, he spoke quietly.
“Until yesterday, many advised me to reconsider this marriage. They called it ill-omened from the start. But I told them plainly: the Empress of Austria will be you, Sisi, and no other.”
…But I'm not Sisi.
As I stared blankly, he reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from my cheek and tucking it behind my ear.
“So don't bear the weight alone. Isn't that what marriage is?”
The light outside brightened fully, and the sounds of the bustling court drifted in from afar.
Joseph sighed softly with regret as he donned his imperial mask once more.
“…Now we truly must begin the day.”
He reached for the silver bell and gave it a light shake.
Ding-a-ling—
With the clear, cool chime, our time alone ended.
As if by magic, the bedroom door opened silently, revealing Countess Esterházy and the maids arrayed in perfect formation, just as the day before. Our short, peaceful morning drew to a close.
They moved like a well-drilled army, leading me to the bath, scrubbing me with scented water, combing my hair.
Being bathed like this… wasn't half bad.
“Straighten your back, Your Majesty. The Empress's posture is the pillar of the empire.”
Right.
I surrendered to Esterházy's commands and sat before the mirror.
As the maids applied makeup and styled my hair for the afternoon's event, the countess stood behind me, outlining the day's schedule.
“Before Your Majesty rose, the court gazette's official announcement was distributed across Vienna.”
She spoke in a businesslike tone, as if reporting to a superior.
“The key points: Your Majesty miraculously recovered thanks to the fervent prayers of the entire empire. It also noted His Majesty's devoted care. By now, every church in Vienna is ringing bells in celebration of your recovery.”
I nodded to show I'd heard—
“Your Majesty.”
Right. No emotion.
“All this is in preparation for this afternoon, Your Majesty. Due to your collapse, we have yet to complete your marriage vows before God and the people.”
Countess Esterházy personally fastened a diamond necklace around my neck, meeting my eyes squarely in the mirror.
“This afternoon, Your Majesty will ride in a carriage with His Majesty to St. Stephen's Cathedral. There, you will finish the interrupted wedding mass, and tens of thousands of subjects lining the streets will greet you both.”
She straightened her own posture again.
“So, this morning, we'll do a rehearsal.”
For the shield the emperor had given me, I had to keep up the act.