Hide-and-Seek with the Gloomy Husband
Hide-and-seek with my gloomy husband. He's been watching me like this ever since Milan last time.
"What are you doing?"
"Weren't you sleeping?"
I carefully sat up, mindful not to wake Sophie.
"...You don't have a thing for staring at sleeping people, do you?"
Franz Joseph let out a hollow chuckle.
"I have no such tastes."
But why does he look so drained today?
I drew the canopy closed, then grabbed his wrist and led him to the sofa.
"Something wrong?"
"Nothing at all."
"Hmm, that sounds suspicious."
It couldn't be because of me that he's so down.
"Did you fight with Mother?"
"What would I have to fight with Mother about?"
Liar.
His face was just like a sulky teenager who'd been scolded by his parents.
Avoiding my gaze, Franz Joseph leaned deeply into the sofa backrest.
"I came because I missed you."
"Who? Me, or Sophie?"
"Both."
He gazed steadily at the bed where Sophie slept.
"Seeing Sophie like that asleep, it made me think..."
"Think what?"
"That I'm glad the child's silence seems so peaceful."
As far as I knew, Franz Joseph wasn't the type to say things like that.
"Who are you?"
"What prank are you playing now?"
"Want me to be honest?"
I fixed him with a narrow-eyed stare.
"...Speak."
"You weren't interested in Sophie. Same with Gisela and Rudolf."
That's just how Franz Joseph's personality was.
"When did I ever say that?"
Franz Joseph raised his voice, sounding indignant.
No?
"Got a clear conscience?"
Did his missing mustache take his conscience with it?
"No interest? That's a misunderstanding. You wouldn't know, but I've been doing my best in my own way."
"Your best? What best?"
"Creating an environment so they grow up without lacking anything as members of the Habsburgs."
"So, do you know what Sophie's favorite toy is?"
He doesn't, right?
"Do you know how she sleeps, what foods she likes?"
Franz Joseph's eyes wavered.
"...That's why I assigned the finest nannies."
Unbelievable.
"That was Mother's doing too."
At my point, he fell silent, then offered a serious but utterly off-base excuse.
"It's because I'm clumsy at it. And to be honest..."
He fiddled with my hand, trailing off.
"Taking care of just you is overwhelming enough. Where would I find the spare attention for anything else?"
Ha, listen to this guy.
Honestly, it felt... nice.
"My head's full of worries about whether you'll cause trouble—no, whether you'll suffer."
Almost nice.
"Trouble?"
"Didn't you tell me to be honest...?"
"You told me to be honest with you. Not the other way around."
He cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to shift the flow.
"Ahem, anyway. You dash off to Hungary, mingle with subjects at La Scala, even show up at the front lines. The Concord Square memorial, bringing Sophie to the empress's palace unannounced..."
True, I had no comeback to that.
Those weren't things a normal empress would do...
"The front lines and Concord were fine, I thought. You handled them well."
But not the rest?
"Hungary's important to you too."
"What do you think the Hungarian subjects thought, seeing you alone there with the army away?"
What would they think?
The Hungarians like me. Unlike how I feel about Hungary.
"They like me."
Because they're Sophie's enemies.
"Let me compare it to your beloved circus. You think the beasts are tamed, but to me... all I see is you, perilously alone amid the beasts."
He went on to describe his feelings during the La Scala incident.
"If a terrorist struck from the general seats, what was your plan? Nobles wouldn't dare, but a nationalist zealot with nothing to lose—what then?"
I hadn't thought that far.
"Sissi."
He stepped close, wrapping me in his arms at my bedside. His voice came steady and flat.
"I wish you wouldn't do dangerous things."
Franz Joseph was pleading not as emperor, but as husband.
"...Franz Joseph."
"Just trying it out?"
The serious mood turned awkward again in an instant.
"Sophie sleeping okay?"
Franz Joseph caught the hint too, his hand slowly lifting the hem of my chemise.
Just as I carefully undid his belt...
"Mama!"
Ah.
Sophie's voice calling me made me slip from his arms at once, quickly checking if anything was disheveled.
"...Even so, must we raise her in the empress's bedchamber?"
"Jealous of Sophie right now?"
"A little."
Aigoo, when did he get so brazen?
But it wasn't annoying.
Ding-a-ling.
"... "
Sophie shook the bell on the nightstand, and the maids entered, assuming I'd rung it.
How did we look to them?
"...We'll withdraw."
Esterházy said so and led the maids back out.
"Franz Joseph! Why haven't you done up your belt yet...!"
No, what were you doing without fixing it till now?
No, first to Sophie.
I pulled back the canopy and said,
"Mama's here—"
I soothed the teary-eyed Sophie and watched Franz Joseph turn to leave, showing only his bitter back.
"Sophie, say bye to Papa."
I took her hand and waved it side to side where he could see.
He looked bewildered, then approached slowly and kissed my forehead.
"I'll come back later."
Come back for what?
Sophie would prevent it anyway.
"Papa's gone. What should we play?"
Sophie scowled, lips pursed tight.
Picking words she knew from her French lessons?
"Sophie, what color's that chair over there?"
"Yellow."
"Yes, good job, Sophie."
Next, I kept pointing at things and asking.
"What's that?"
"Vase."
"What's that?"
"Chair."
"What's this?"
"Desk."
...Her French is better than I thought?
I'd planned to switch to German slowly if she hit unknown words.
Ugh... what next?
"Sophie, want to play hide-and-seek?"
"Hide-and-seek?"
Finally, she repeated after me in German, not French.
Figures she hasn't learned play-related French words.
"You hide in the room, and Mama finds you."
"Mama?"
"Yeah. But if Mama says she can't find you, come out right away. Got it?"
Sophie nodded.
"Yes."
I gently lowered her under the bed and covered my eyes, counting.
"One... two..."
I peeked through my fingers to watch her scurry for cover.
"Nine... ten!"
I tilted my head, pretending to look around the room.
"Where did Sophie go? Under the table maybe?"
So cute.
Does she think if she can't see me, she's perfectly hidden?
She'd ducked behind the curtains but didn't realize her feet stuck out.
I circled nearby, pretending to search.
"Where's Sophie hiding?"
Then I whipped around and flung the curtains wide.
"Aha! Found you!"
Sophie threw herself into my arms, bursting into loud giggles.
"Who'd our little puppy take after to be this cute?"
I hugged her tight and spun in a circle.
"Now it's your turn, Sophie. Mama hides. Cover your eyes and count like I did."
Sophie squatted by the bed, tiny hands over her eyes.
"Eins, zwei..."
German.
Definitely German.
To not disappoint her, I crouched under the desk.
"Mama! Again!"
"...Sophie."
Mama's tired now.
It's been three hours of hide-and-seek.
"Mamaaa."
Sophie tugged my skirt, whining cutely.
Who in this world could resist those eyes?
Someone exists. One man with the same last name as Sophie.
"But Sophie, you've already checked everywhere Mama could hide."
Under the desk, in the wardrobe, under the bed, behind curtains... nowhere left in this tiny bedchamber.
"One more time! Just once more!"
"You said 'just once more' last time too."
"Hing."
Sophie pouted, head drooping.
She's throwing tantrums now too.
I'm thrilled and grateful... but desperately craving a lie-down.
I haven't eaten properly all day.
"Your Majesty, the chief lady-in-waiting."
Oh, my savior.
"Come in."
As Esterházy entered, Sophie went quiet, unlike her lively self moments ago. Still tense around others?
"Chief lady-in-waiting. How about smiling a bit?"
I've never seen Esterházy smile either.
Honestly, her personality shows plain as day. Strict, stern, rigid.
Expressionless usually, and it only changes if she's extremely flustered.
"Your Majesty, the reading maid has fetched a book suitable for Archduchess Sophie."
What? She can smile? Like an elegant noblewoman...
"Your Majesty."
Right, she is a countess.
"Thank you. Have the reading maid come in."
I scooped Sophie up and settled on the sofa.
The book's title, held by Ferenc, was Struwwelpeter.
"Konrad had a habit of sucking his thumb and wouldn't listen to Mama."
Listening, I struggled to keep a straight face.
A boy who sucked his thumb and got his fingers cut off by the tailor, a child who refused soup and starved to death...
Is this okay...?
Is this really fine?
But Sophie sparkled with interest at Ferenc's reading of the fairy tale.
I whispered softly, just for Esterházy's ears.
"Is it really okay for a child to hear stories like that?"
"Better than the Brothers Grimm."
"Hansel and Gretel?"
This is better than that?
To check, the Brothers Grimm book I'd gotten for Sophie and Andersen's tales were similar.
Andersen's at least had sad endings, so I was busy soothing her tears.
Finishing his daily duties, Franz Joseph checked the marital bedchamber and found Sissi absent, so he headed straight to the empress's palace.
"Court chamberlain, starting next week, the children will be under the empress's palace."
"Understood, Your Majesty."
"And the empress?"
"She retired with Archduchess Sophie an hour ago."
Franz Joseph acknowledged it and returned to the emperor's palace, lying in bed.
...Should I just have them move to the empress's palace starting tomorrow?
An unusually restless night made sleep elusive. Franz Joseph tossed and turned before finally drifting off.