A Mother's Dilemma
It had been three hours already, and Sophie seemed to be eating tastier food than I was. "Tasty?"
"Yes."
Just watching her eat was adorable. But how long would I have to keep speaking French as her mom?
We started with a simple dish, Frittatensuppe, and more food kept coming. I sat Sophie on my lap and fed her little bites. Of course, I knew this wasn't proper etiquette…
"Your Majesty, perhaps we could assist…"
"Court ladies."
One of the court ladies approached me cautiously. "Have any of you ever fed a child before?"
None of them could answer. They'd all been raised like princesses in their own families since childhood—no way they'd done something like this. Sophie and I were the same in that regard; the only difference was that I'd fed my niece in my previous life.
"Here we go, nom nom, sausage incoming—zoom!"
Sadly, the empress's palace had no child-sized utensils for Sophie and the other kids. I had no choice but to feed her myself. She was awkward at first, but now she was eating well.
After finishing with the sweet dessert Kaiserschmarrn, I handed Sophie over to the court ladies. "Help Sophie brush her teeth."
While she did that, I could finally eat my own meal. They handled my baths, after all. I tried to set Sophie down from my lap.
"Okay, now go with the lady sisters and…"
Were they sisters? Excluding Ferenc, Countess Königseck, and Countess Hunyadi, the other ladies were at least twice my age.
I caught Countess Esterházy-Lichtenstein's expression stiffen slightly, but I deliberately ignored her gaze. The court lady knelt on one knee as per protocol and extended her hand.
"Your Imperial Highness Archduchess, please come this way."
Instead of going to her, Sophie grabbed the hem of my dress tightly with her tiny hand and wouldn't let go.
"Sophie?" I met her eyes to soothe her. "I'll be right back. Mommy will wait here."
I tried to give my daughter the most harmless smile possible. It didn't work.
"Court ladies." I signaled to Caroline von Hunyadi that it was fine. Had the head nursemaid abused her too? She seemed about the same age as Hunyadi… I shook my head lightly to dismiss the unnecessary suspicion. That was probably going too far. It was likely just because of her clothes. If age were the issue, I wouldn't like them either.
As I was thinking that, Countess Lamberg spoke quietly to me. "Your Majesty, the Lord High Steward of the Imperial Household requests an audience."
The Lord High Steward? It probably wasn't about finances.
"For what reason?"
"…A request regarding personnel transfers in the empress's palace."
"Personnel transfers?" I immediately recalled the steward's family name and looked at Esterházy. "Chief lady-in-waiting. While I'm tending to Sophie, please escort the Lord High Steward to the drawing room."
Once Esterházy left, I had to calm down Sophie, who was clinging to me like gum.
"Come on, let's go brush our teeth together, Mommy and me."
…Lunch was a lost cause.
I barely got Sophie to sleep and headed to the drawing room. Hmm, why had he come?
The Lord High Steward rose from his seat the moment he saw me and bowed deeply with perfect etiquette.
"Your Imperial Majesty. Thank you for granting me your precious time."
"Please, sit, Lord Steward." I sat first, trying to take control of the conversation. "Your visit means it's about personnel transfers, I assume."
The duke perched stiffly on the edge of his chair and said expressionlessly, "I've come to discuss the dismissal of Countess von Wendel."
He seemed to value protocol as much as Esterházy did.
"Surely the Lord High Steward didn't come all the way to the empress's palace just for that one document."
At my question, he chose his words carefully. "Your Majesty, what I oversee is the order of the court. The dismissal of Countess von Wendel is merely a tiny ripple in that order."
Order.
"It's a matter of protocol, then."
"Precisely. Concerning the residence of Her Imperial Highness the Archduchess."
He finally got to the point. "Your Majesty, the official residence of Her Imperial Highness the Archduchess is the nursery in the emperor's palace. The budget and staff are all allocated there."
I took a sip of the tea a lady-in-waiting had brought and chose my words. "Are you saying I should send the Archduchess to the emperor's palace?"
He seemed to be gauging how much to tell me. "I do not prefer having Her Imperial Highness in the empress's palace."
"Because I'm too young?"
He bowed even deeper, as if he couldn't care less about that. "Your Majesty is Her Imperial Majesty the Empress, regardless of age."
Then what was the problem? "It arises when Your Majesties go on tour. You have forbidden Archduchess Sophie from entering."
I waited for him to continue.
"If Her Imperial Highness accompanies you, there's no issue. We can simply move the assigned staff and schedule to the empress's palace. But Your Majesty—if only Your Majesties go, there will be no adult in the imperial palace permitted to access that place."
"Isn't Grand Empress Dowager there?"
"She is rarely in the palace. She spends most of her time outside on charitable activities."
So, it was choose one: Joseph or Sophie… Taking Sophie meant I couldn't leave the palace. That would prevent me from doing tours with Joseph and such events. Conversely, leaving the palace meant I had to personally revoke the ban on Archduchess Sophie. In a way, it was putting my freedom on the table. Tours were the one respite from the Archduchess's reach, so choosing them meant acknowledging her presence within the empress's palace.
The Lord High Steward looked at me puzzled. "Your Majesty, wouldn't it be solved if Their Highnesses accompanied you?"
…It could be. The most rational and simple solution to this dilemma. If I didn't know the future, I probably would have done just that.
"That won't be possible."
The date had passed, but she was still so young. What if Sophie really died on the Hungarian tour… What then? I could make the children adults to bear imperial duties, but I couldn't gamble with their lives as collateral.
"I need some time to think."
He bowed in acknowledgment and withdrew.
"Your Majesty."
"Chief lady-in-waiting. I'm grateful you sought help from the Lord High Steward."
Esterházy had probably used her connections to help me. It was the best chance to bring the child to the empress's palace.
And the steward had shared what he thought was the best option.
"Why would someone you know make that choice?"
"Someone I know?" I snapped back sharper than intended. I'd eaten a diet meal for breakfast, stressed over Sophie all morning, skipped lunch, and barely gotten her to sleep.
"Mia—"
Esterházy cut me off rudely as I started to apologize. "I was imprudent, Your Majesty."
"It's fine. I'm just tired, so don't take it to heart."
But I couldn't say it either. If I told her the child would die if taken there, they'd just think it was hysteria from a mad woman.
"I'll prepare your afternoon nap."
"Do that."
Joseph went to Archduchess Sophie's office.
"Mother!"
"Your Majesty. Do not raise your voice."
He approached her desk. "I heard everything."
"What do you mean?"
"About my daughter Sophie."
"Born a princess, she must bear those duties."
"Sophie is Austrian. How does it make sense to stop her from speaking German?"
She didn't see that as an issue. "What is a princess's role? To forge secure alliances through marriage. To adapt there, she needs French more than German."
"…Mother, I am Emperor of Germany."
To Joseph, having his eldest daughter educated not to speak German in his own court felt like a challenge to his sovereignty and identity.
"Indeed. Your Majesty, inheritor of the Holy Roman Empire, is Emperor of Germany. Unlike the empress, I support such a Your Majesty."
Joseph vaguely knew what his wife Sisi was thinking. And how she approached discriminated minorities domestically.
"Are you attacking your mother over something trivial like German, and taking your wife's side, Your Majesty?"
"Why does it always veer that way?"
Joseph, you're still too soft.
Since Sisi had chosen the Habsburg Empire, the power struggle with Sophie could no longer be seen as mere mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflict. Joseph, too, agonized between his ambitions and love for his wife, refusing to lean either way.
"Your Majesty, this mother has worked for you all this time. Who betrayed her husband and placed Your Majesty on the throne?"
Joseph couldn't refute that. As she said, without her sacrifice, he'd still be crown prince, and Sisi crown princess.
The stronger he opposed, the more he'd be branded an ungrateful traitor denying his mother's sacrifice, and the nobles siding with Sophie would withdraw support from the emperor.
Trapped—Sophie in past obsessions, Joseph in present anguish, Sisi in future despair—they couldn't escape each other.