Why Does This Work So Well? (4)
What's the intention behind this?
I glanced at the time—it was 5:50 PM. Considering Secretary Song's stream started at 6, it felt like a teaser for her content, but I had no clue what she was planning.
Should I just ask her? That seemed reasonable. If I straight-up asked what this "official wife battle" was about, it'd clear up the mystery.
But is it really about me? I'd seen it in streams sometimes—playing a dating sim, picking a character as your "official wife." It didn't seem like Secretary Song's style, but then again, her being a VTuber in the first place was already absurd.
How's the gallery reacting?
Nothing major. It'd only been a few minutes since I posted anyway—too soon for real bait. Not like she had a huge sub count; average viewers were around 300 now. Her diehards might speculate on the title for clicks, tops.
The stream's chat was similar to my thoughts—the top comment by likes was [Dating sim incoming?!]
Hmm. Might as well watch for a bit. I grabbed a drink and popcorn, settling into my chair.
A quick gallery check later, and it was 6 PM sharp. The stream went live.
Stream basics 101: Play a song while waiting for viewers to trickle in. Chat was buzzing about the streamer.
Good call logging in with the burner account. To avoid clickbait drama, I lurked the chat for vibes. They were as clueless as me, throwing out wild guesses:
1. Streamer watches anime.
2. Nah, finally doing a Korean dating sim.
3. Nope, furry vid bait.
4. Isn't our streamer a fox? She's totally seducing dudes.
And more bizarre, convoluted theories. I... all seemed iffy, but if I had to pick, number 2.
Main wife matters. If she'd watched anime, she'd have told me—I'd have showered her with incentives out of pride.
...Or maybe not, seeing her like this. Chatting with a one-anime newbie versus a 200-episode vet? Sigh, what even to say.
"Ahem."
As I mulled pointlessly, Secretary Song cleared her throat.
Chat dropped the bait instantly, welcoming her.
"Ah~ Ah. Nice to see you all."
The avatar beamed brightly, bowing cutely. Ooh, worth every penny.
I like it. Natural, pretty. Only downside: Knowing her red-pill side, and making the avatar too similar, kept flashing her real face in my head. Like watching a friend's corporate life. Not sure if that fits since I cut adult ties post-graduation.
"So, wondering why the title says 'official wife battle'?"
After some time, the bait rolled.
[Furry fan?]
[Pokemon's fine tho.]
[Digimon.]
[These no-mouth freaks are furries too...]
[But they are furries...]
I shifted in my seat.
"Saw a gallery post."
[NewbieHam again. Why's my name pop up every gallery mention? Wild.]
"NewbieHam? That's my friend."
[NewbieHam's a god, wtf?]
[God's got human friends?]
[His posts, chats, dons—no way he has friends, let alone a girl one? Miracle bitch.]
Why no girl friends? It's true, but I can talk. Proof: Chatted with Secretary today. You ain't getting burgers 'cause I remember nicks.
"Haha. My friend's handsome, great talker."
[Wut. NewbieHam ain't a twintail high school girl?]
[Saw pic of shy twintail NewbieHam sprinkling burgers—what?]
[Weird. Not F-cup gal pis NewbieHam?]
[Crazies, if treating as girl, drop the Ham ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ.]
[Nickname.]
[Fr ㅋㅋ Nickname matters~]
I rubbed my head. Knew about the weird fanart, but at least treat me like a dude.
Why's Secretary like this? She called me handsome before, told me to take care. Said instant ramen would kill me young.
"Haha. My friend a girl? No way. Anyway, gallery had this official wife battle brewing?"
[We know nothing.]
[Confess remorse now, no sue?]
[What'd you write?]
[How hold back F-cup cutie Yeonji? I'd sub in and suck for ya?]
> [Kicked.]
[Go peacefully.]
Hm. Cold sweat kinda.
Nah? Not what I'm thinking, right? Hands clasped in prayer now.
"O Cheol-deuk-ssi. Let's reveal who the official wife is?"
...Content masterclass. One-month newbie pulling this? Prior VTuber try? Subculture pro?
Chills down my spine.
Nah... doesn't add up. She didn't know anime big three. Concepts have limits. Interview showed eagerness to learn, not deep knowledge.
[This is it.]
[Hobby VTuber no filter.]
[Let her do her.]
[But fr, official wife's Yeonji? Avatar by NewbieHam?]
[Idc, headache = updonk for NewbieHam.]
Last chat: Hundreds of updonks, I'd grind alts for that.
Gallery now? Heart pounding, back to home base—total shitshow.
[Avatar glow-up~]
[Hakko VTuber official wife battle ON.]
[NewbieHam alphamale moment wtf.]
[Loser said handsome too. No burgers? Rope time.]
This 400-viewer firepower...? Wait, 1,200. One phrase spiked influx insane.
Why does it work? Knew folks crave dopamine. But VTuber vs random viewer—friend?—official wife battle? Why latch on?
Real non-virgin squad exists? Shook head at nonsense, reality unchanged. Texted Secretary for input: radio silence. Dead serious.
[O Cheol-deuk: If Newbie oppa sees, official wife or whatever.]
[Fuck, more vtubtards wrecking gal.]
[Vtubtards trash = updonk... Wait, girls fighting over a guy? Where?!]
Had to close my home away from home.
Fun, but... is this okay? What's a VTuber? Pseudo-dating chat with viewers. Not all, but most ride that wave. Fan service always cashes in.
I was one too. Not romance, but hakko growth/reactions fun enough to sponsor. Gave girls more than dudes—some bias there.
Money fixes it? Dunno. Never studied psych. Primal reactions fun for donors—no deep thoughts.
Just more dopamine? Brain numb, no ideas. Maybe my job's playing along to their tap dance?
Time to GOAT 21st-century troll. Started a gallery post.
Threw gas on the fire. No clue why it works, but gotta try.