A Foolish Judgment
It was a foolish judgment. There was no real need to drag her along and flee, yet my body moved on its own. And that, when I couldn’t even protect her in the first place.
Leon let out a dry, self-mocking laugh. None of the three listening to his story could bring themselves to call his decision stupid. How could they? It had been an act born of his own resolve and desperation.
Aria, absorbing the tale, seemed to realize something and asked, “Was the reason you couldn’t call for other clergy members… perhaps what I’m thinking?”
“You’re exactly right, Miss Aria. He was controlling them. He had already ordered that if the doppelganger or Knight Edelis appeared at the temple, we were to be bound immediately. Still, if her condition grew truly critical, I planned to get her treatment even if it meant I would be captured. Fortunately, I met you instead.”
“So that’s why you were so desperate.”
Only now did Aria fully understand the doppelganger’s extreme behavior. He touched his shoulder, looking embarrassed.
“I must have looked pathetic.”
Aria glanced at Ashtain before answering. “If it were me and someone precious to me was hurt, I would have done the same. But I still have one question. I’m not even an officially recognized member of the clergy, so what made you trust me?”
“Any clergy who can see the complex structure of an ancient curse at a single glance can hardly be ordinary.”
“…I hadn’t thought of that.”
Aria felt awkward at her own shortsightedness. After all, an ancient curse was not something an ordinary cleric could handle. It would take at least a Pope or a Cardinal to have any chance. Yet here was a clergy member who instantly recognized the mechanism behind such a curse and declared the odds fifty-fifty? To the doppelganger, Aria must have seemed like a literal lifeline of salvation.
Ashtain rubbed a hand over his face. Having heard the full story, he knew Aria had done the profoundly right thing. If she had not saved Edelis Bride, the doppelganger who lost her might have done anything. It was impossible to predict, but it surely would not have led to anything good.
The hero organized his thoughts and asked, “Are there any suspects behind this?”
“He’s meticulous and thorough. We haven’t caught so much as a tail. Besides, I don’t have any usable personnel left.”
It seemed he had searched in his own way. Ashtain pressed again. “Leon, what do you want to do?”
He shook his head, trying to correct the name. “Ashtain, I am not Leon. I am his doppel—”
“Edelis told you, didn’t she? If the memories, personality, and appearance are the same, then you are Leon.”
At the casual declaration, the doppelganger—no, Leon—twitched the corner of his mouth. “Both she and you—does calling a fake a fake put a thorn on your tongue?”
At the self-mocking words, Aria looked at him. She recited a phrase she had once read. “What if it is a fake? Does being created fill you with revulsion? Are all the emotions you feel simply wrong? I hope you won’t think of it so negatively. Like it or not, we are all beings shaped by others and by our environment. I hope you’ll realize that this desperate feeling is precisely what makes you more like the man named Leon than anything else.”
It was a rare long speech from Aria. She caught her breath and studied him. During her words, Leon’s handsome face had remained quiet and attentive—until it twisted into something ugly.
“…Thank you for the comfort.”
Ashtain had no desire to watch a man cry. He asked again, “So what do you want to do?”
Leon wiped the redness from his eyes with the back of his hand. His blue eyes burned with resolve. “I want to kill every last person who harmed Knight Edelis.”
It was emotional. But then, most motivations were rooted in emotion.
Ashtain glanced at Aria and Azazel. “I want to help Leon. What about you two?”
Aria answered as if she had been waiting. “I want to help too.”
Azazel glanced between them, then mumbled, “It’s already a majority. What difference does it make if I oppose?”
Ashtain shook his head. “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. It’s not forced.”
“After hearing the whole story, backing out now would be pretty pathetic, wouldn’t it?”
Azazel had twisted her words into a roundabout agreement to cooperate.
By the time their discussion ended, the night had grown very late. They decided to give Leon and Edelis the triple room Ashtain’s party had been using. Even with the curse weakened, Edelis needed rest. Leon, too, had to be exhausted from his life on the run.
Leon expressed his deep gratitude. Azazel grumbled in the middle of it, but there was no malice; it was simply her nature.
Aria said, “Then we’ll need to get another room.”
Ashtain nodded. “Yeah. I’ll go find a suitable one.”
The exchange was painfully awkward. As if fleeing that discomfort, Ashtain headed down the stairs to speak with the innkeeper.
At that moment Azazel came running after him and caught his arm. She whispered in his ear, “Hey, I’ll sleep by myself. Share a room with sis.”
“…What?”
Azazel jerked her thumb toward Aria, who was watching anxiously from a distance. “You need to apologize, you idiot.”
Apologize. Ashtain found he had no rebuttal. Looking back, he had indeed overreacted.
“…Yeah. I should.”
When Ashtain answered in an uncharacteristically gloomy tone, Azazel’s lips curved up and her cheeks quivered with suppressed laughter. “I have to set the stage like this just so you’ll apologize? Are you a child?”
“Hearing that from you is genuinely shocking.”
“Maybe it’s because you did something that stupid?”
It was brutally direct. Yet Ashtain accepted it. “Yeah. Seems that way.”
“Idiot bastard.”
Even though the insult was crude, Ashtain somehow felt Azazel seemed more mature. He decided to say so. “You seem very adult, Azazel.”
“Probably because some bastard dumped me and gave me a lot to think about. Now hurry up and get the room.”
Hiding her embarrassment, she kicked him hard in the shin.
Aria, who had seen the kick, came running in a panic. “A-Azazel! What are you doing!”
Azazel grinned and stretched Aria’s cheeks with both hands. “You’re an idiot too, sis. With a guy like this, you just kick him to the curb.”
“Ow, s-stop it.”
Ashtain watched the scene blankly for a moment, then continued downstairs.
On the first floor, Leon was waiting for him.
Today everyone seems to have something to say to me.
Having just been lectured by Azazel, Ashtain was not particularly pleased to see him. His tone came out guarded. “Leon. You still have something to say?”
Leon smiled gently—the same smile Ashtain remembered. “I can’t sleep.”
“Your insomnia hasn’t improved, I see.”
“Could you keep me company for a while?”
“I’m busy too. I’ve been sent on an errand.”
“An errand?”
“Someone took the room I finally managed to get.”
“Sorry about that.”
“I didn’t say it to get an apology, so don’t worry.”
Leon watched Ashtain wave his hands dismissively and replied with warm affection. “Anyway, I won’t take up too much of your time.”
“I’ve never met anyone who says that and actually keeps it short.”
When Ashtain turned to leave, Leon spoke quickly. “It’s about Miss Aria.”
The subject was so on-target that Ashtain’s face twisted at once. His half-turned body straightened before he even realized it. The reaction was easy to read.
“What about her.”
“Aren’t you worried? Anxious?”
Leon didn’t specify what he meant. The words were vague and roundabout. Even so, Ashtain understood their intent perfectly. He had been thinking the same things himself.
He had meant to ignore it and walk away, but instead he leaned against the wall and answered wearily. “Yeah. Maybe because something that didn’t exist before suddenly appeared, it’s worse than ever.”
He didn’t want to lose her the way he had lost his sister. He didn’t want to lose her twice. That fear had made him try to violently restrain her actions. He had seen the way it hurt her. He hated it. He hated it so much. Cherishing her, embracing her, loving her—none of it was enough if he was the one carving new wounds into her. The very thought made him shudder.
“She felt the same way. She was anxious and nervous about Edelis. Of course, I’m talking about my original self.”
Ashtain cut in. “Isn’t she a knight? She has perfectly good combat ability. What is there to worry about?”
“Because she’s a knight, she faces danger more often than most. Regardless of a person’s strength, worry is a perfectly natural emotion.”
It was an obvious statement. An extremely obvious, natural kind of statement.
“Are you trying to lecture me?”
“What right do I have to lecture you? I’m only saying this because I hope you won’t push Miss Aria too hard. Do you know what she told me when she decided to follow me?”
Ashtain stared at him, waiting for him to continue.
“‘Honestly, it’s suspicious and I don’t like it. But if I turn my back on an injured person for that reason, I won’t be able to look anyone in the eye with a clear conscience. I hate that, so I’m going. Because I want to be able to face that person without shame.’ That’s what she said. At the time I didn’t know who that ‘person’ was. Now I think I do.”
It felt like being struck by a hammer. I want to be able to face that person without shame. Those words, that phrase, those syllables—they tormented Ashtain.
“………….”
“Why do you look like that, Sir Ashtain?”
Slap.
He struck his own cheek. The blow was hard enough to draw blood. Leon remained calm in the face of the sudden violence and simply watched him.
Ashtain spoke slowly. “I realized I’m still an idiot.”
Leon gave a small laugh. “Where is a perfect person? We all live by fixing our mistakes.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“The day I receive gratitude from you has finally come. Truly, there is nothing as fatal as love.”
“…You can’t even say anything decent to Edelis, yet your tongue is plenty sharp.”
“…Where is the rule that says it’s cowardly to strike with the truth?”
The two men glared at each other with sullen expressions, then simultaneously burst into laughter. For some reason, they couldn’t stop. They really were nothing more than a foolish prince and a stupid hero.
Ashtain rubbed the back of his neck and asked, “I heard you protected Aria.”
“I simply prevented disaster after she followed me.”
“That doesn’t erase the fact that you protected her. Thank you.”
“Are you truly thankful?”
The tone was oddly probing.
“…? Of course I am.”
“Then, Ashtain, could you grant me one request?”
“A request?”
“Tomorrow morning, take Knight Edelis to my original self.”
The warm atmosphere froze instantly. Ashtain frowned. “Why?”
“I thought long and hard about what I would do if I were the ‘original.’ Fortunately, the incident itself is similar to what happened to me, so the conclusion came quickly. In a royal family where no one can be trusted, losing the only knight he believed in would leave him drowning in despair and frustration. You’ve met him. You know his condition isn’t good.”
It was true. Ashtain neither confirmed nor denied it, but Leon smiled as though he already knew the answer.
“I don’t want to see myself broken. No one would. But seeing it from the outside like this only strengthens that feeling.”
“Won’t it hurt without Edelis?”
“She told me not to give up. So I have decided not to give up on myself either.”
He was a strong man—not in physical power, but in spirit. Perhaps even stronger than the original. The reason for his growth must have been the existence of the knight named Edelis.
“You might never see her again.”
“If she is safe, if she is well, that is enough. Besides, I have a comrade to carry out my grand revenge with.”
It was a mischievous smile. Ashtain looked at him with pity.
“Leon. I’ll say it now—a doppelganger’s lifespan is not…”
“Very long?”
“You knew.”
“It seemed like the sort of thing you would say. This body was going to die anyway. There is nothing left to fear.”
There was a poignant, resolute beauty in the man who had already accepted death. Ashtain looked at him and said quietly, “I will make sure your revenge is fulfilled.”
“Stop. When you say it like that, it really sounds as if I’m already dead.”
“You’re the one trying to die voluntarily. It’s not exactly wrong.”
“I’ll take that as agreement to my request.”
Ashtain gave no reply and simply turned away. Leon walked in the opposite direction. The two men parted naturally.
When Ashtain finally obtained a room from the innkeeper and went upstairs, Azazel gave him an earful for taking so long. He really hadn’t meant to be gone that long. He had taken an embarrassingly long time.