Becoming the Northern Grand Duke

After recording Gaius's outrageous affair scene, I'm checking on Freira's condition.

Nothing out of the ordinary. In this world, automatons like me serve as butlers, soldiers, spies—your basic tin-can slaves in all sorts of roles.

High-end butler models like mine even come with a limited medical mode.

Not that it compares to a proper ordained priest, of course.

"Nngh… hng."

"Recommendation. Close your eyes and imagine something happy."

"Th-that's not gonna work…!"

So, specifically, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠what am I doing right now?

Well.

I'm massaging around Freira's heart.

'I swear I wasn't thinking anything dirty.'

Thank god I don't have anything down there that could get hard.

The Grand Duke's daughter suffers from a congenital incurable disease. Every time she uses mana, it causes a backlash in her internal magic circuits.

She's especially sensitive to the cold as one of the symptoms.

'Particularly after casting fire magic—her body temperature plummets.'

The cause is her very birth. Not just me—even the top priests have said as much.

Though none of them could actually cure it.

'Which means I have to fix it. …Though that's impossible right now.'

This lifelong curse will one day propel Freira to the realm of archmage.

"Ha… Hamel… how long are you gonna keep this up…?"

Hmm.

'Looks like I need to keep kneading for another 3 minutes?'

Too bad I couldn't say it out loud.

"Recommendation. Close your eyes and imagine something happy. Lullala, lullala."

"Hamel, please… be a little gentler…"

Freira squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip. I couldn't make sense of the situation at all.

'Last week, she was calmly reading a book and sipping coffee while I did this.'

She didn't even blink back then. What had changed?

I gently stroked her pale cheek with my empty hand. Her green eyes met mine from inches away.

"…Hnnngh!"

"Just kidding. Your face looks like a red turnip."

"I-I'm so embarrassed I could die…"

Why? Care to explain?

Suddenly, Freira glared at me and pushed me away with her slender hands, pressing firmly.

"That's enough for today, nnngh!"

Should be fine.

As Freira hurriedly buttoned up her front, the knight captain approached.

"Miss. The bishop of the Karstein Diocese has come to visit."

"Yes? Alsanna?"

She finally brought ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the letter.

The Grand Duke's residence drawing room.

The atmosphere was worlds apart from yesterday. The two holy knights outside the door stood utterly motionless.

As I entered, the brown-haired priestess beamed widely. Her massive holy bosom must have been heavy; she'd draped it over the table.

"Freira! …A, ahem!"

Alsanna cleared her throat.

"Karstein Grand Duke's daughter. I hope you're well."

She looked like a kid borrowing her mom's clothes to act grown-up. …Though her development had surpassed adult territory.

"Bishop Alsanna. Thank you for the long journey."

"…Freira! How's your body feeling?"

"Nn. Much better."

The two women smiled, catching up on old times. They'd been friends since childhood, after all.

As I tactfully stepped back, Alsanna finally noticed me.

"Oh, who's this…?"

Yeah, yeah. Nice to see you. We're acquainted, right? Guess I should smile.

"…."

Alsanna froze mid-sentence. Her pumpkin-colored eyes trembled faintly, her mouth slowly gaping open.

Her cheeks were flushing redder by the second.

"I-I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠am, uh, Ka-Karstein Diocese, b-bishop."

The bishop kept stammering.

"Al-Alsan—!"

Ah. Bit her tongue. That hurts. And her voice cracked too.

"Alsanna? You okay?"

"I-I'm f-fine…! S-so, who's this…?"

"Hamel. My butler automaton."

"Nehet?"

Teary eyes glanced at me. Alsanna spaced out for a moment, then poked me.

"I thought you were a person!!"

Aha, got it. She forgot our first meeting?

I bowed and played my voice at minimum volume.

"The bathroom is that way."

You were soaked, remember.

"…Wait a sec. Are you that automaton from a few days ago?"

Nod nod.

"Wh-what do I dooo…!"

Her small hand grabbed me tight. Alsanna unleashed a machine-gun barrage.

"That time! It wasn't real incontinence, I swear on the Lord! It was just sweat!!"

Her pupils quaked in panic, terrified Freira might hear.

"P-please don't tell anyone…"

"Response. Yes, miss."

Small bladder? Happens. I get it.

"…."

Freira watched us whispering, chin propped on her hand, lips curled up. But her eyes weren't smiling at all.

"Alsanna. You've met Hamel before?"

"Y-yeah, he helped me in the middle of the night once."

"…Middle of the night?"

This klutz bishop just had to slip up.

I frantically shook my head.

"Ah- broken? An automaton wouldn't go out on its own. Weird, right?"

The Grand Duke's daughter eyed me steadily.

Sweat poured from non-existent glands. Realizing things were going south, Alsanna jumped in.

"A-anyway! I came today because of a letter from the Holy Kingdom!"

"From the Holy Kingdom? For Father?"

Saved, fuck yeah.

Alsanna looked triumphant. She'd already forgotten her screw-up.

She rummaged in her bosom, face falling into a pout.

"I-I think I left it at the cathedral…"

How did this girl even become bishop?

I already knew the letter's contents anyway.

A warning from the Holy Kingdom to Ulrich. Alerting him to a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠traitor in the duchy. The Holy Kingdom's intel is impressive, but…

Boring and pretentious.

'I've got proof of Gaius's affair.'

Right on cue, Ulrich entered the drawing room.

"Bishop Alsanna. You've gained the dignity of a true priestess since last we met."

"Gr-Grand Duke!"

Perfect. Dopamine time.

"Caution. Adultery is a grave crime under imperial law. Honor the vows sworn before the Lord."

"Hamel? …Is something wrong with you?"

"Affair perpetrator: Gaius Kroitzen. Victim: Mom. Affair partner: Gaius Kroitzen."

The three froze in different expressions.

Then came the evidence of forgery, murder plots, and rebellion schemes. Their reactions were a sight to behold.

Ulrich silently toyed with his sword. Freira's smile vanished completely.

"Hic."

Alsanna started hiccuping.

I skipped Gaius's lecherous remarks targeting Freira. Ulrich would've smashed the door and charged the garrison otherwise.

'No preemptive strikes.'

Handing this straight to the imperial court wouldn't work either. Cornered Gaius would go berserk.

One way to dodge the bad end.

"…I'll meet him myself."

Ulrich voiced my thoughts.

"Father!"

"Your Grace. You can't meet the legion commander alone. If the Holy Kingdom's paladins—"

"The Holy Kingdom can't wield force within the Empire."

Fair point. The Emperor wouldn't stand for it—internal interference, he'd foam at the mouth.

"…Gaius requested a private audience."

"Father, you know it's a trap."

"If not paladins, then an inquisitor… S-sorry I can't help…"

Walking into Gaius's rigged game alone? Suicide.

Especially for the fully weakened duke now.

Whirr.

I deliberately amped up my gear drive noise as I moved.

"…Hmm."

"What do we do?"

People. Look at me. I'm right here.

I know Gaius's entire hand, and my arcanium alloy body's tough as hell, yeah?

They weren't getting it, so I "accidentally" gripped and peeled off my synthetic skin.

Alsanna freaked at my real tin-can face.

"Hic! Hic!"

"…Hamel. Don't remove your skin without permission next time."

"The interior looks quite menacing."

No. Stop commenting. Think.

Finally, Freira let out a short gasp.

"We still have two days. …Isn't that enough time for a new skin?"

"…Oh."

"Disguise the automaton as Your Grace?"

And so I became the Northern Grand Duke (trial version).

Gaius Kroitzen was an ambitious man.

By the scale of his ambitions, closer to a delusional one.

'A man ought to try being Emperor once.'

How many innocents would die for that nightmare dream? Not his concern.

Stroking his beard, imagining himself on the throne, unexpected good news arrived.

"Legion Commander. …The duke has granted a private audience."

"Finally."

The Lord was aiding him.

Humming a tune, he soon reached the small audience chamber in the duke's residence north wing.

"The duke grants a private audience. Escort and military automatons wait outside. Surrender your weapons."

"Of course."

Gaius cheerfully handed over his weapon. Only a ceremonial sword remained.

'Enough to poke a toothless tiger to death.'

The knight captain withdrew grudgingly. Crossing the threshold, only the fireplace crackled in the emptiness.

Before the thick gray stone wall sat a massive man. His ruthless eyes unchanged from decades ago.

"Grand Duke Karstein. Thank you for hearing my plea."

"…."

Tch.

Gaius subtly spat out the device hidden under his tongue.

'Rogasil's Silence.'

A trinket from a demon. A crude imitation of high miracles, but it would do.

For the next 10 minutes.

Nothing escaped this small audience chamber. No sound, no mana, no signals.

Perfect for murder.

'Let's leisurely review the plan.'

Assassinate the duke, revive the corpse with necromancy. Have it confess to rebellion plots, record it.

Submit to the court, snag the Northern Grand Duchy easy.

Plus thicker imperial favor. Flawless.

"Your Grace. Cat got your tongue?"

"…."

Gaius gripped his ceremonial sword, smirking.

"…Care to share your last words?"

"…."

"I'll put your daughter to good use!"

In a flash, drawing his sword— the duke suddenly kicked back his chair and stood.

"Eh?"

Tall. Bulkier too, somehow.

Like his prime returned…

'No. Something's off.'

Mana flow's weird. No subtle discord you'd expect from a living being.

Nothing.

Mana cycled mechanically through circuits, devoid of intent.

Gaius drew his sword and retreated behind the chair. Bluffing amid unease and tension.

"Ha. Played Swordmaster once, eh? Haven't rusted a bit?"

"Shh. My baby kitty."

His smirk vanished.

Familiar voice. He'd sneered just like that before.

Grrrr. Crack.

The duke clawed off his face.

Smashed the sharp eyes, ripped the nose, shredded the mouth.

Beneath emerged a vicious mechanical visage.

"Au-automa—!"

"Coffee, w-w-w-w-would you l-like—"

Glitching sounds poured from its mouth like an error.

But Gaius's nightmare was just beginning.

Nine minutes left.

Nothing in this room could be detected, not even by the Holy Kingdom.

The automaton's right arm opened, revealing an arcanium alloy electric saw.