Water Kingfisher's Pants-Pulling Mad Movie
The First Prince, Adrian, couldn't swallow his rage and huffed in fury. He'd just been chewed out like a dog by the Emperor.
"How the hell did they stop the chandelier...!"
No entry records from the previous day. No witnesses. Even the method of cutting the chains was a complete mystery.
On top of that, the banquet hall was located in the imperial villa. The fact that it had been breached meant a major hole in imperial counterintelligence.
For Adrian, the nominal head of imperial counterintelligence, there could be no greater humiliation.
And he hadn't even become Crown Prince yet.
The Emperor hadn't decided on a successor to the throne. He was surely testing both Adrian and Selene. Adrian had earned the counterintelligence post through tearful appeals.
"That mere grand duke's daughter...!"
She'd dodged every scheme. As if she'd seen several moves ahead.
Freira Karstein. The daughter of the Frost Witch, indeed. All the more reason to nip her in the bud.
...The man with her was just a tin can, so no need to worry about him.
Wait. The barrier that blocked the chandelier. The deployment pattern was definitely the style used by the Mirkelhauer Design Bureau.
Mirkelhauer was a state-owned enterprise. They didn't sell modules to civilian models like household automatons.
"...Then how did they get their hands on it?"
He'd finally found a lead.
Adrian switched the telegraph to communication mode.
With this, he was one step closer to the throne.
Adrian leaned back in his chair leisurely. Unfortunately, that entire transmission had just been eavesdropped.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
The commander of the Magitech Special Task Force's operations unit adjusted the sensitivity on the communicator. A metallic clank echoed from the device.
The moment the line cut, someone tapped his shoulder. Kingfisher turned his head.
"Commander. What are you spacing out for?"
"Eavesdrop successful. The First Prince has unleashed his shadow unit rats."
The operations room went deathly silent for a moment. Even for forces loyal to the prince, illegal armament within the capital was a capital offense.
Of course, it wasn't for the Magitech Special Task Force to handle. The Task Force was directly under the imperial family—practically the Emperor's private army.
"The Security Bureau guys are in for a rough time."
"No. We suppress them."
Eyes demanding explanation bored into him. Excuses about contributing to public safety wouldn't fly—they'd just be full of complaints.
So, Kingfisher gave the textbook answer.
"We're stealing the Security Bureau's credit."
"Understood."
Even the Task Force couldn't resist stealing someone else's rice cakes.
"Check optical camouflage. Chief Special Agent, transferring command. Split into three teams and lead them. Minimize civilian casualties."
"And you, Commander?"
Kingfisher pressed the beaked gas mask tight to his face.
"I'll move separately. Glory to the Empire."
He had to carry out the secret order from Her Highness the Princess without the Task Force knowing.
Investigate whether the Big Raven was possessed by a demon.
...And his gender was a critical matter too.
'Male or female? That is the question. We'll know once we pull the pants off.'
Kingfisher launched the operation with worldly professionalism.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Imperial Capital, Baltgard.
Unlike the snow-covered north, spires and buildings crowded the skyline. In the distance, the magitech industrial district shimmered with spent mana, and people bustled along the sidewalks.
I was walking right through the heart of human civilization.
"Um, Alsanna. My feet kinda hurt a bit."
"Eek! B-but the bakery's right up ahead...!"
When I gestured to carry her, Freira frantically waved her hands.
"Hamel! Not here!"
"What's wrong between us?"
"Shh! Alsanna will hear you!"
She hated skinship outside but turned into a girlfriend the moment we got home.
Delusion Stopped
Tch.
I whispered to Freira.
"Miss. Bread's great and all, but how about stopping by Argent HQ too?"
"Huh? I don't know much about weapons..."
"My left-arm magitech shotgun's busted. Want to replace it."
I've been twisting around a lot lately. Time for some REWARD, right?
Thankfully, Freira agreed readily.
We finally reached the bakery. The door opened to a flood of bread scent that even my tin-can sensors picked up.
"Hehehe... Bread for a whole gaude..."
"Alsanna? You're not buying all that, right?"
"I am! This is my chance—the attending priests control my portions...!"
She gains weight easy, that's why.
Alsanna was a famous bread fiend. And she looked like the type who'd buy a ton.
"I'll take every last one!!"
"You'll gain weight...!"
As Alsanna grabbed a fistful, Freira strained to stop her. They looked just like a pair of twenty-year-old girls.
I glanced out the bakery window. Something was bothering me.
The Aegis on me was a Mirkelhauer module. The First Prince would definitely latch onto that. He'd been humiliated in front of the nobles and chewed out by the Emperor—he'd resort to dirty tricks.
'Might've deployed shadows.'
The capital seemed peaceful at first glance, but hell lurked beneath. Complex catacombs under the city, criminals living there, and the Security Bureau constantly rooting them out.
The ones who knew their way around a knife often had connections to high society. Adrian's shadow dogs were one such group.
'Bingo.'
Three guys watching us from the left alley. Four more at the window across the street.
No sensor ping meant illegal silenced guns, probably.
Targets Designated
I manually locked onto the suspects.
Not a good situation. Freira could use spells but was still inexperienced. Alsanna... well...
"L-look at this! Butter roll tart!!"
Eat up. Stay pure forever.
Protecting these two while fighting street thugs wouldn't be easy.
Targets Vanished
What?
I looked up again—the window guys and alley men were gone.
As I puzzled over it, Freira whispered.
"Hamel. What's wrong?"
"Seemed like we had a tail, but..."
"Why trail off?"
"They're gone now."
I took the box of bread Alsanna had bought a ton of.
"Wah! Hamel! You're like a bread delivery shuttle!"
"Affirmative. Haha."
Treated like a shuttle by the lame bishop.
Even after leaving the bakery, the unease lingered. Two guys were tailing us openly enough that even Alsanna noticed.
"Th-those guys keep crossing our path."
"Huh? Who?"
Poof. Evaporated.
At the next corner, two women with hands in their pockets got yanked into an alley.
"Oof."
"Urk."
Only pathetic death rattles echoed emptily.
"...Did those people just vanish?"
"Freira. You believe urban legends? Ehehehe—"
"D-don't do that..."
This is creepy.
I stayed vigilant, escorting the two. The sensation that some invisible force was taking everyone out—it was practically clearing our path.
'No way it's the Magitech Task Force?'
Impossible. They wouldn't bother with small fry.
Even as I thought that, happy circuits spun in my head.
Selene's secret society, Moonshadow. True to its cell structure, in the original ENOM, members randomized every run.
Difficulty swung wildly by branch. Central Army Knight Commander? Berry Easy mode. Dropout with a mustache? Selene gets executed.
And there were rumored members too.
Water Kingfisher.
Magitech Task Force Anti-Demon First Operations Unit Commander.
...Or so the trolls claimed. No one ever saw them in actual playthroughs.
Two possibilities: just some loser's self-insert, or a hyper-rare encounter.
If real, they'd be the ultimate ally. Super useful against that Ho-Gukkyung gene-freak monster later.
Happiness Circuit Overload
I ain't got circuits like that. This thing really ain't human?
Anyway, someone was helping us, but...
"KyaAAAAAHHH!!"
A shrill scream pierced my ear. I deployed my right-arm electric saw instantly.
"H-Hamel!!"
"What do we do! It's broken!!"
Oh, me? I'm the perp?
Freira covered her face and poked me frantically.
"Pull up your pants..."
I looked down. My pants were neatly down.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Fumble fumble.
After awkwardly fixing my clothes, I pondered deeply. Who was this mech perv obsessed with my crotch?
Tower nerds? Interested for sure. But they don't leave the tower.
Selene? Seems interested. Can't do optical camo though.
'Ah.'
Found it.
Irritable temper, gets pissed easier than expected, and can do optical camouflage!
'Elise!!!'
Looked like Elise had been helping me. And just pulled my pants too.
'Why the hell my pants...'
Then I remembered. We had a deal.
F-forgot...
And I'd trusted her with the chandelier drop too.
With Elise's personality, her face would be stone-cold, but she'd be pissed solid...!
I screamed.
"I gotta do kyarrukkyak!!"
Shit. Mistake. Said it out loud.
"Uh, Freira? What'd you just say?"
Alsanna approached. She mulled the tone, then eyed me suspiciously.
"...Was that Hamel talking?"
"... ."
"A possessed entity that talks!? Even I can't exorcise that level..."
F-fucked. Gotta bean her quick for amnesia...!
Smack.
Freira clamped her mouth shut and snatched Alsanna's hand. Face beet red, dying of shame.
"Kya, kyarrukkyak..."
The grand duke's daughter awkwardly did aegyo.
Industry-level reward honey.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Third Magitech Industrial District, Argent Heavy Industries HQ.
"... ."
"...Elise. Something's really up, isn't it?"
"I'm totally fine. Super normal. Very very."
Magitech Overseer Siegfried gave a troubled smile. Elise was thoroughly pissed.
"Siegfried. I can't access bomb-making schematics in my system."
"Why bombs?"
"He didn't keep his promise, so I'll blow up the grand duke's toilet. Everyone'll mark territory in the streets like animals."
No deep thought needed to know who and why.
The Karstein automaton, AGT-B04-259. Nicknamed Hamel, right?
Heard the grand duke's daughter tuned his looks herself—sculpture-level handsome.
'Blocked the imperial ball chandelier fall a few days ago too.'
Thanks to that, Love Doll models were selling like hotcakes. ...Didn't expect the night service module to sell out though.
Was that the trigger? The office telegraph rang, a voice emerging.
Twitch.
Elise's ears perked straight up. She craned her neck, eyes widening.
If she had a tail, it'd be a dead ringer for a cat.
'Make a cat cosplay module?'
Siegfried chuckled.
"Can I go?"
"Let's go together."
Argent's current head and the Empire's Magitech Overseer said brightly.
"I'm curious about that unit too. Wanna take it apart piece by piece."