Why Am I the Saintess and the Witch?

Why call me a saintess when I'm up against a witch. Among the demonkin, those versed in sorcery are the elite—equivalent to human nobility.

That slur is practically taboo in the Empire. One witch once ravaged it for centuries.

Like the Frost Witch.

Selene von Baltgard twisted her brow.

"You plan to subjugate a witch? Does that mean launching an expedition?"

"No. I'll lure her out."

"...How exactly?"

I brushed it off vaguely. This was tied to the grand duke's house—no need to spill it to the princess.

Instead, I shared some premium intel.

"Your Highness. Please don't tell the Holy Kingdom."

"Tell them what?"

"I've found the holy sword."

Selene shot me increasingly pitiful looks. She must've pegged me as a delusional liar. Only when I described its exact appearance and functions did she start to buy it.

"The holy sword's details are top secret. You must've really found it."

Of course. As a possessor, I'd swung it for everything from golf to surfing.

"...However."

Her sea-blue eyes narrowed.

"Only the hero or saintess should know its location."

The princess scanned me head to toe, repeatedly, like she was about to disassemble me on the spot.

After a long silence.

".........Saintess?"

"No, ma'am."

What the hell kind of nonsense is this? A gender-swap drift right ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠here?

"Anyone can see I'm male."

"Big Raven, you're an automaton. Time to ditch the stereotypes."

"You think that looking at this face?"

"Admittedly, a total hunk. Did you know? Beauty's pinnacle blurs gender lines. With long hair, you'd be a knockout beauty."

Her Highness was being awfully PC. Her gaze locked on my crotch.

"Doesn't look bulging... but checking the groin would be rude, so mind if I feel your chest?"

"I humbly request you refrain."

It's my complex that there's nothing there. I'd finally forgotten about it, and now this woman...

"Enough games. I'll report to the emperor that the grand duke's domain has no rebellion suspicions. And that the holy sword wasn't found."

"The emperor... won't like that."

"That's on me. At least here, away from his eyes, I won't frame the innocent."

Selene pulled out her mask again. Her blue eyes met mine one last time.

"Big Raven. Hide your identity until we meet again. And..."

The princess added one more line.

"We'll figure out your gender in due time. Hero or saintess."

Union? What the fuck is that now.

If that fills up, does it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠mean... what I'm thinking? The naughty stuff?

Fuck off.

Daring to mention body rights? Talking like some medieval lord eyeing another's wife.

Soon, two mage special ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠forces climbed the cliff. Their paladin armor was coated in monster blood.

"Halt. Protected target located. Your Highness, are you alright?"

"Highness? The Lord would laugh. I'm an inquisitor."

"...Deception mission resume. Paladin smokescreen commence."

The special forces nodded faintly at Selene's method acting. They approached me, so I gave them my own performance.

"Errorrrr. Recalibrating path. Errrrror—"

"... ."

What're you staring at, punk? I'm busted—what're you gonna do?

I returned to the grand duke's reception hall. Pretending to be broken the whole way back left my mouth sore.

Ignore.

Freira sighed deeply in relief seeing me intact. As she brushed past, she muttered softly.

"If you didn't come back, I was gonna go find you."

You? With that frail body?

Is she getting obsessed with me? ...Nah, overthinking it.

The princess exchanged brief greetings with Ulrich and prepared to leave. No real hooks caught, so he seemed inwardly pleased.

"Rebellion suspicions concluded as none. May the Lord be with you."

"W-Wait a moment!!"

Alsanna Erhen blocked her path. All eyes on her, she shrank back nervously.

"Bishop? Thanks for the guidance. More to say?"

"...Automaton."

Her voice trembled.

"What happens to that automaton?"

"Pardon?"

The klutz bishop pointed at me. Right—she'd been totally out of the loop.

"I-I'll explain everything! S-So, inquisitor."

Alsanna swallowed tears as she spoke.

"...Don't melt it in lava, please."

"Bishop Alsanna. What do you mean? Is that automaton possessed or something?"

Whoa. Alsanna made a cute squeak and babbled incoherently.

"N-No! Absolutely not! C-Can I ask if you noticed anything unusual!?"

"...Pardon? Pfft."

Oh. The princess's inquisitor act cracked for a second.

"Nothing unusual. Right, Cromwell?"

"Frequent malfunctions. Otherwise normal. ...Tch. Tin can."

Alsanna blinked her big eyes, sniffled, glanced between the inquisitor and me, then beamed.

"I dunno what's going on, but yay!"

Aah... Alsanna, you momma's girl.

If she were a real inquisitor, we'd both be dragged off for collective punishment.

Why didn't she become the saintess in the original story?

As I smiled fondly at Alsanna, Freira and Selene locked eyes for a split second.

"...Well then."

"Yes. Safe travels."

I clicked my tongue.

Chills.

Who were the worst rivals in the original? Harmless critter Alsanna (huge specific parts aside) got along with everyone. Klutzy super socialite.

Elise surprisingly had decent relationships too. Master the taming, and her straightforward personality shines.

Freira and Selene.

In most NNM routes, they became mortal enemies. Piled-up bullshit scenarios you could only call frame jobs.

This time, I'd have to twist things so they got along.

Time to push the main story.

I recalled the main bosses that had to be subjugated.

Witch first. ...Then the fire dragon?

Challenging with current specs would require major twisting.

Fine by me. Chance to level up Freira.

"Miss Freira."

"Yeah. ...What was that inquisitor even here for? Felt shady."

Already wary. Woman's intuition?

I led Freira to the wall. Her mood lifted; she flashed a subtle smile.

"Hamel suggesting we come here first? What's up?"

"...Miss. Do you know what's beyond there?"

My finger pointed north—the way she always gazed endlessly.

"...Hamel. There's nothing beyond. Just endless snow."

Her voice froze eerily in an instant.

I can do it. If it's me.

I can really do it. Is this bastard ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠even human?

I pulled up the liege-vassal meter with Freira.

"Hamel? Staring off into space?"

"At you, miss."

"...Really?"

Main story. Play it right, and I could flip the dominance almost entirely.

...Not sure if that's good, though.

Hold up.

About to tutor Freira, I realized something.

Met all four heroines, but meters only popped for three I've never seen before.

Freira's liege-vassal dominance. Alsanna's faith. Selene's union.

No Elise?

Stroking my chin, Freira shot me a sharp glare.

"...You're thinking about another girl right now."

"No. Seriously."

Elise thoughts later.

Imperial Capital Baltgard. Argent Heavy Industries HQ, top floor.

Elise gazed beyond the north-facing window. The capital's nightscape was stunning, but her eyes fixed on the horizon.

"Elise. Lately, you keep looking north. Fond of the grand duchy?"

"No. Barren, harsh backwater."

"Then fond of Grand Duke Karstein's automaton?"

"Nope. Absolutely not. Siegfried baldy-head-shiny-dome."

"What? So lush."

Elise perched on a chair, peering at the window again.

What is this.

More precisely, words reflected in the glass. When she shifted gaze, they followed.

Not a reflection. Projected right in front.

First time seeing this log. Did Siegfried tweak the OS secretly again? Elise poked his waist.

"Ow."

"Siegfried."

"That hurts. What is it?"

"What's after 'caring senior to junior'?"

"......... ."

Argent Heavy Industries' current head and Imperial Archmage of Magitech, Siegfried von Argent, fell silent.

No answer. Elise's logic module concluded.

Senior must've done something when plugging in the panel. He's the savior of automatons, after all.

Elise huffed on the window and wrote what hovered before her.

"Ooh, intriguing. Siegfried Siegfried."

"What now."

"Favorite outfit. Answer in 3 seconds."

"... ."

"3, 2…"

"Maid dress."

Siegfried barely made the deadline. Elise prodded his cheek.

"Confirmed. Heard the Karstein house is hiring maids."

Her purple irises sparkled like a mad glint.

"Any spare maid outfits?"