Chapter 44
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 44
Chapter Title: Recovery (2)
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The greatest advantage of the Avatar was its ability to be summoned 'anywhere'.
Even if it wasn't within my line of sight, as long as I willed it, I could pull it out from there.
"Well, that said, it won't work in places I don't know..."
I'd been glancing at the map every now and then.
The kingdom was located on the central continent, with four more continents stretching out to the east, west, south, and north.
Word was that the Demon King had claimed the northern continent.
That was why no humans lived there anymore.
It was a land of demons and monsters—a realm utterly alien to mankind. That was the Demon King's domain.
Back to the matter at hand.
The 'Central Cathedral' where the Saintess resided was located outside the kingdom.
"This must be the place."
It was an independent city that belonged to no kingdom.
Also, it was said to be the holy land where this world's god had first descended.
The Roskana Holy City.
I 'appeared' right in the middle of the street and looked around.
"Pretty ordinary."
At first glance, it didn't seem all that different from the kingdom's capital.
Ordinary people walked about, and ordinary people chatted with one another.
The only difference might be the priests wandering around more frequently.
I started walking for now.
Come to think of it, it had been ages since I'd strolled through streets like this.
"Did you hear? The Saintess is supposed to appear at this afternoon's mass."
"Of course. I was planning to go."
As I walked, some good news reached my ears.
From what I knew, mass was basically a sermon held in a cathedral.
Having come here on a whim without a plan, I'd been wondering how to meet her, but luck was on my side.
Looking closely, everyone seemed to be heading in the same general direction.
If I just followed the flow, I'd reach the Central Cathedral.
"...I won't get kicked out, right?"
To be honest, this was a sudden visit.
Even if she had told me to come find her, Orthella must have a packed schedule.
She already had tons of people seeking her out—adding me to the mix would just be a nuisance...
"..."
Damn, since when did I start caring about stuff like this?
Lately, I'd been overthinking things.
While I wrestled with my doubts, I'd arrived at the Central Cathedral before I knew it.
It was a towering cathedral of immense scale.
The building dwarfed even the Academy's main hall.
"Are you here for worship?"
"Ah... Yes."
"Perfect timing. You can head right in."
No ID check or anything like that.
Then again, the Roskana Holy City was famous for its strict entry screenings.
Just being allowed into the city was proof enough.
"...I just waltzed right in, though."
The Avatar's abilities felt ridiculously overpowered all over again.
If I set my mind to it, I could even slip into the kingdom's treasury. Expensive things always have their reasons.
Stepping inside the cathedral, a solemn atmosphere washed over me.
Unlike the mundane streets outside, this place truly felt like a house of worship for the divine.
I found an empty seat and settled in.
The mass soon began.
A middle-aged priest took the pulpit and started speaking.
I didn't know much about 'the word of god,' so it didn't move me much.
"Next, we shall pray together with the Saintess."
Finally, the moment I'd been waiting for.
Orthella ascended to the pulpit.
She gave a brief, formal introduction before reciting the prayer.
"The words spoken by God when He created humanity."
What can I say?
It felt fresh.
"Hate not, love one another, and forgive transgressions."
She was a completely different person from the foolish girl I'd seen in the forest.
Her serene voice delivered a dignified sermon that was nothing short of sacred.
Watching her, I sank into quiet thought.
"If you see one suffering in pain, offer comfort."
I'd come here today because I felt like I couldn't take it anymore.
Staying in that pure white space felt like it would drive me insane—I just wanted someone, anyone, to help me.
But...
I'd made up my mind.
I wouldn't meet Orthella.
"Share their burden, and lighten their load."
Listening to her sermon taught me a lot.
The gazes directed at the Saintess.
Awe, expectation, faith, reliance.
Even amid this brief address, Orthella was bearing the weight of all those emotions.
The burden she carried was far heavier than mine.
Of course, meeting Orthella might ease my own state a bit.
But to do that, I'd end up acting selfishly again.
Like when I'd kidnapped her before.
It wouldn't be right to burden someone already carrying so much with even more trouble.
"...Ah."
When I came to, the cathedral was empty.
The mass had long ended, leaving me alone in the deserted hall.
The air felt lonely.
"..."
I gazed at the massive emblem straight ahead.
A brilliantly shining sun.
That was the symbol of the god.
I started to clasp my hands as if to pray, then gave up.
Maybe it was time to head back.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
Then, a voice came from behind me.
"I wonder what God was thinking when He forged the sun."
The voice was right behind me at first, then slowly moved to my side.
"Long time no see."
"...I wasn't planning to meet you."
"After coming all this way?"
Orthella sat down beside me.
The emptiness eased a little.
"You're busy."
"That's why I'm working right now. Tending to a troubled parishioner is part of a Saintess's duties."
"I don't believe in God."
"That includes potential believers too."
A soft chuckle reached my ears.
The sound faded quickly.
Silence stretched for a few seconds, filled only by our breathing in the cathedral.
Orthella spoke first.
"You look exhausted."
Her tone suggested she knew everything.
I couldn't bring myself to reply.
I didn't know what to say.
"God sometimes sends trials too heavy to bear."
Orthella continued gently.
"That's why exhausted parishioners occasionally come to me, body and soul worn out. They ask how they can possibly overcome it."
Apparently, quite a few were in a similar spot to me.
I listened in silence.
"Truth be told, a Saintess doesn't have many answers for them. 'You can overcome it.' 'Everything will be fine.' 'Pray to God.' Just the usual platitudes anyone could say."
It was inevitable, and to be expected.
The higher one's position, the more carefully one must choose their words. Fantasy world or not, that held true.
Maybe Orthella would have to say something like that to me too.
"It's fine. Even the usual platitudes."
"Really?"
Her immediate retort caught me off guard.
I turned to look at Orthella beside me, surprised.
She was looking at me too.
Orthella soon averted her gaze and stared straight ahead again.
"A Saintess might say that, but human Orthella is a bit different."
"What do you mean?"
"She'd overlook a little mumbling from an ordinary believer."
Orthella began muttering to herself.
"Lately, I've been thinking. God probably doesn't know everything."
It was a mutter, but clearly directed at me.
"The Church depicts God as omnipotent and omniscient. Human suffering is a trial from God, and enduring it brings reward. But... what about those who can't endure?"
Is there reward even for those who fail?
Probably not.
"Humans aren't strong. We give up easily and harbor dark thoughts quickly. Trials for such beings? Honestly, it's too much."
If you fail, you just stay failed.
With no reward whatsoever.
Orthella was pointing that out.
"So, to those who are worn out, I want to say this."
Orthella extended her pale hand.
It cupped my head and gently pulled me in.
Flustered, I let her guide me.
Down, down.
My head reached Orthella's lap.
Soft.
A tender sensation enveloped me.
"It's okay to rest."
A sweet whisper tickled my ear.
It felt oddly itchy.
"It's okay to lean on someone."
Smooth.
Smooth.
My hair was being stroked back.
The gentle motion repeated with steady pressure.
She was petting me.
"What are you... doing right now?"
"Helping you rest."
"That's not what I was asking...!"
I tried to sit up belatedly.
Orthella held my stirring head down and laid it back.
For some reason, strength drained from my body.
"How does it feel?"
Comfortable.
Very.
"Not uncomfortable?"
Not at all.
"If you're too rigid all the time, of course you'll get tired. Sometimes, when it's tough, you need to lie down like this."
Smooth.
Smooth.
It was absurd.
Orthella offering a lap pillow to help, and me actually finding comfort in it.
All of it...
"Whenever you're tired or worn out, come by anytime. Will you lean on me?"
Whatever.
Just a little longer like this.