Chapter 43
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 43
Chapter Title: Recovery (1)
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You have committed acts of killing.
Additional points will be awarded.
+40,000p
Remaining Points: 40,032p
Let's earn some points! With that thought, I opened the system window.
I skimmed through the piled-up messages and confirmed something odd: an insane amount of points.
"...?"
A whopping 40,000 points.
When the village incident had only netted about 20,000, this number was incomprehensible.
"That's weird."
I pondered the differences between then and now.
The conclusion came quickly.
"...Guilt."
Dillon had realized just before dying that he'd fallen under hypnosis.
In the end, he'd been used too, which left me uneasy.
Were they truly lives worth ending?
Of course, trying to kill Roel pissed me off.
I believed punishment was necessary.
But all sorts of thoughts were inevitable.
"Fuck..."
A wave of disgust crashed over me.
I'd been forcing myself not to think about it, but now reality was shoved in my face.
This sucks.
I can't stop here, but damn, I just want to scream my lungs out.
"...Gotta manage my expressions."
Speech, face, gestures—every little thing.
I have to be the 'evil' one.
Can't show weakness. Can't show kindness.
"..."
For now, let's move.
I don't want to stay here anymore.
"Sitla, come back."
Sitla had done well.
Drawing more attention would risk Cigarette finding out.
Sitla flew back swiftly and slipped into the shadows.
Rustle.
That's when I heard movement nearby.
"...Laila?"
A familiar face.
Laila Bellakshi.
Second daughter of the Bellakshi count family.
She'd grown up hearing she was a 'genius' like any other cadet, but she lacked the one crucial thing.
'...Do I really have to become a hero?'
Motivation.
Her chronic laziness hadn't been fixed even by age twenty.
Even receiving her blessing and becoming a hero candidate hadn't thrilled her—probably because she hated the effort.
Laila's dream wasn't to be a hero. It was to 'live without a care in the world.'
She never worked hard at the academy either.
Slept facedown during lectures, leaned against walls during training.
Luckily, her professor Cigarette was laissez-faire, so she avoided real scoldings.
Her spar with Roel was refreshing, but that was it.
She just thought, 'So this is the kind of person who becomes a hero.'
Laila hoped things would stay that way.
It'd be nice if it all ended like this.
Hero this, hero that—it had nothing to do with her.
Her family didn't expect much anyway...
Eating meals with friends—that was enough.
Laila had no desire to push further.
"...Ah."
That was her mindset right up until the dungeon exploration.
She was just killing time as usual, bored out of her mind.
Defeat some monsters moderately, clear the dungeon moderately, write a report moderately.
A ridiculously simple plan for the assignment.
But she never imagined encountering demons.
The first real threat to her life she'd ever felt made cold sweat pour down.
Desperate not to die, Laila held her breath and stayed still.
"Roel, Laila! Get ready!!"
When Sera charged out alone, leaving her frozen, a flood of thoughts hit.
Same when Sera lost and Roel stepped up.
In the dungeon, Laila did nothing.
She pretended it was no big deal, but on the carriage back to the academy, she wanted to break down crying.
Powerlessness was more miserable than she'd imagined.
From that day, Laila changed her attitude.
She stayed awake in class as much as possible. Trained hard.
She worked tirelessly to catch up to her two friends who were miles ahead.
Not to become a hero.
Just so she wouldn't be a burden.
So when the academy was attacked, she was a little glad.
Not glad about the attack, of course.
What she meant was...
She'd helped, even if just a bit, and that made her happy.
'I need to get stronger.'
A little more.
No, much more.
To not weigh down her friends.
Finally, Laila had grown to the level she wanted.
This should be enough to help.
She's plenty strong now.
"...What?"
"While we were asleep, Cadet Roel took care of the demons and their accomplices."
"Hold on. Asleep? Accomplices? What...?"
"I can't say more. Sorry."
Reality was different from what she'd imagined.
Laila had failed to do anything again.
"..."
On the carriage back to the academy, Roel wore a dark expression.
It was different from her usual dejection.
Her eyes held such deep despair that Laila couldn't even ask if she was okay.
Fortunately, Roel bounced back quickly.
As if she'd never despaired, she showed up to class the next day with a smile and greetings.
Laila envied that resilience.
Because she envied it, she couldn't meet Roel's eyes directly.
'What have I even been doing?'
She ramped up her training.
Pushed her body to the limit every day.
If a similar situation arose again, she wanted to protect her precious friends.
Yes, she'd say it this time.
After taking first place in finals, she'd declare, 'Now I'll protect you.'
That she wouldn't fall behind.
That they could trust her with their backs.
That they'd share the load.
So Roel wouldn't have to hurt alone anymore.
Laila vowed it over and over.
Worked harder to fulfill those vows.
Completely shed her chronic laziness, filling the void with diligence.
"...Roel?"
So she wondered even more.
Why do our desperate hopes never come true?
"Ahem, long time no see, Laila!"
Collapsed mages everywhere.
Most were in states where you couldn't tell if they were dead or alive...
But their professor was definitely dead.
"...Why are you doing this?"
Laila had some guesses about the village incident.
Mass forced sleep.
Demons and accomplices.
Roel, the only one awake.
The village must've already been taken over by demons, and the accomplices were villagers.
Roel had killed villagers.
Probably the 'second personality's' doing.
"Why the hell...!"
Rage surged.
Even knowing the foe before her was terrifyingly beyond reach, Laila drew her sword.
Maybe all her efforts had been for this moment.
To stop that hateful demon possessing Roel's body without permission.
"Get out of Roel's body right now, demon!!"
She'd lose.
Might even die.
That damn demon was that strong.
She knew and charged anyway.
Couldn't let that demon harm anyone else.
"Pass."
She scattered weapons created by her blessing everywhere.
Gradually blocking the demon's escape routes by stabbing them into the ground in irregular patterns.
When the perfect opening came, she swung her sword.
Clang!
What kind of reaction speed was that? Every strike was blocked.
"Damn...!"
One block wouldn't make her give up.
No, she couldn't give up.
Laila kept swinging.
Clang!
Clang!
Swing after swing after swing.
Each block let the demon exploit a gap, slicing her body.
Even covered in blood, Laila pressed her pointless assault.
Like back then.
In the dungeon.
She believed Roel would wake.
This was just buying time.
Clang.
Craaack...
Before she knew it, she was a total wreck.
When her arms lost strength, she collapsed slowly.
"..."
Not yet.
A little more...
"...Miss Laila?"
Right as she reached for Roel.
Seeing those eyes return to normal, Laila smiled faintly.
At least today, it felt like she'd accomplished something.
[Releasing complete possession.]
"Hoo..."
I let out a deep breath.
I rubbed my dry face raw, over and over.
You don't get wounds in the inner world.
That fact pissed me off.
"..."
A voice came through the speaker.
Roel's voice.
"Miss Laila, Miss Laila!!"
Unconscious Laila and teary-eyed Roel.
"Ah, thank goodness. You're alive..."
Relief at her friend's survival.
Then Cigarette arrived late, assessed the situation, and Sera approached with a panicked face.
As always, Cigarette would handle cleanup.
She'd defend Roel fiercely, minimizing any punishment.
Not sure if it'd work this time...
Sera would treat her the same as usual.
As if it was no big deal, as if she understood.
She'd stick by her side as a friend, saying everything was fine.
Laila too.
Today's sword exchange made it clear.
Her avoiding Roel was all for Roel's sake.
I figured the misunderstanding would clear up soon, and they'd be back to normal.
As for Roel...
She'd fall.
Whether from punishment or the cadets' fear.
She'd crash hard and rise even stronger, turning this trial into another stepping stone.
This world is biased toward Roel.
No matter what I do, it can be fixed. No matter the trial Roel faces, she can rise again.
I realized that recently.
It was obvious, really.
Roel is the protagonist.
...
Then what about me?
Thud.
I irritably shut off the monitor.
I wanted silence.
I'd thought I was handling it well.
Kept telling myself I was doing fine.
All that optimism was crumbling.
Honestly, Dillon was okay.
The other magic squad cadets? Bearable.
They'd tried to kill Roel, so I had justification—like a shield.
That's how I'd rationalized it.
Did Dillon deserve death?
Did the hypnotized cadets have guilt?
Even if not, I killed people.
"...I'm losing it."
This time, desperate Laila came to mind.
Her blood-soaked figure blocking me was vivid.
The chain of thoughts wouldn't break, unleashing all the suppressed stress.
"..."
Lonely.
"Haha, I really feel like I'm going insane."
Maybe I already was.
Not sure if the inner world would allow me to snap.
I stayed slumped over the desk for a long time.
"...I said to come find me."
I lifted my head when Ortella's words resurfaced.
"So if it gets too hard to bear, come to me. I'll help however I can."
I staggered to my feet.
Ignored the persistent nausea as best I could.
Where was the avatar...
"Will she even accept me?"
Truthfully, Ortella couldn't do much.
Best not to expect her to fix my broken mind.
I just needed someone there right now.
That's all.
"Feeling any better?"
That was all...
"Not uncomfortable?"
So why the hell am I lying in the saintess's lap?