Poison Human

Fun, my ass.

The tip of the finger holding my chopsticks got sliced open.

"Ow! That stings! Hss."

"You brat. Quit the theatrics."

Dark red blood welled from the cut. I clamped it with my other hand, but still—

Plip.

A single drop hit the floor.

Sizzle—.

A nose-stinging stench rose from the wooden boards.

"Huh?"

What the hell. It melted.

Or maybe I should say the floor was burning through?

Either way, something impossible was happening right in front of me.

"Aaaaaaah! My blood!!!"

"You little brat! Keep it down!"

Hydrochloric-acid blood.

How my blood had ended up like this, I had no idea. Though, looking back, there had been more than a few hints.

Prurprur’s poison.

It hadn’t been just any ordinary poison…

I’d just discovered the part the messages hadn’t explained.

The mosquitoes are in serious trouble now.

That thought had barely formed when Prurprur spoke again.

"Did you see? You are now a Poison Human. You have just crossed the first threshold required of my disciple."

"Poi… Poison Human!"

SSS-rank, even!

It actually felt pretty cool. For a second I almost believed I’d become some kind of superhuman—like nothing and no one could stand in my way. On a night like this I could walk into a club and…

"Take this."

No thanks, was what I wanted to say, but I just accepted whatever Prurprur shoved at me.

A necklace?

A crude necklace with a red bead dangling from it. The leather cord had a distinctly vintage feel.

"Congratulations."

"For what?"

"For becoming a Poison Human."

"I’m a mage, though?"

"Heh heh heh. That is also true. In any case, starting tomorrow we will begin proper magic training in earnest. Prepare yourself."

A chill ran down my spine, but I forced myself to ignore it. If it meant I could cast that shield magic I’d seen earlier, a little dread was worth enduring.

So just settle down already, heart.

The old man never got tired of Hot Chicken Flavor Ramen. He ate it for all three meals. Between the thirty points a day and the daily necessities I’d been buying, my points were getting dangerously low.

"Are you ready?"

"My points?"

"Not that, you brat. Mental preparation."

"Hell yeah!"

"Bwahahaha! Excellent! I have prepared a truly spectacular thrashing for you—look forward to it!"

That… was not the kind of “hell yeah” I’d meant.

Anyway. Today I was learning magic.

"Then let us begin with the first lesson—mana circulation!"

"Yes!"

"Now then. What is mana?"

"The energy you need to cast magic?"

"Hah! My disciple already has the basics down!"

That was the right answer?

All those hours spent playing RPGs were finally paying off.

"However, that is merely ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the story for ordinary mages. What we shall practice is Prurprur-style mana training!"

"Prurprur-style mana training!"

"Sit in the lotus position."

This guy had to have watched a lot of martial-arts novels. He was talking like some qi-cultivating wuxia master.

"Yes! Like this?"

"Correct. Now close your eyes and think of mana. As a Poison Human, you should already be able to sense it."

I closed my eyes as instructed and tried to feel the mana the way Prurprur described.

But what even is mana supposed to feel like?

All I could feel right now was that my crossed legs were already going numb. I shifted my focus to my hips, wondering how to make my aching joints more comfortable.

Huh?

What was this?

A strange energy rose from my hips and spread through my entire body. If I had to give it a color, it would be blue—cool and refreshing.

And my legs don’t even hurt anymore.

"I can tell you’ve found it. That is mana. It exists within your body."

So that was it. Whoa—it moved!

The mana flowed exactly as I willed it.

Is this because of all the poison training? Or the mana I received as a reward?

I didn’t know the principle behind it, but it felt good. Like carefully pouring latte art.

I guided it gently, feeling the softness of the mana from the crown of my head all the way to my toes.

"Now I shall teach you Prurprur-style mana training."

I nodded without breaking concentration.

"Recall the single drop of your blood that fell to the floor last night."

Blood?

It had been red. And dangerous. The kind that melted everything it touched. Hydrochloric-acid blood.

"Burn it."

Burn what, exactly?

"Burn the mana."

"…Bullshit. Wait—what?"

Dammit, that completely broke my focus.

"How am I supposed to burn mana?"

The sheer absurdity of the order made a curse slip out before I could stop it. The old man’s ears apparently hadn’t caught it, so I let it slide.

"That is the core of it. Burning."

"I’m asking you how."

"The nature of poison. It can burn, it can melt, it can putrefy."

"Don’t just tell me to do it—show me the method."

"Hmm. It may hurt a little. Endure it."

Before ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I could even answer, he formed a blade of magic in his hand—the same one he’d shown me the night before—and started swinging.

Slash, slash, slash.

"Agh! Aaaaagh! Stop! Ow!"

"Disciple! Pain is the companion of learning! Hahahaha!"

"Aaaaaagh!"

Sizzle—.

After cheerfully carving me up for a good long while, the old man finally dismissed the magic.

"You look unsightly. Cover yourself a little."

And just like that, I was naked. The flimsy cotton clothes hadn’t stood a chance against a Poison Human’s blood.

"What is this?"

"A state in which mana is easier to burn."

"Being completely stripped bare? You made your disciple bleed all over just so you could get my clothes off?"

I was genuinely speechless. He could have just told me to undress. Instead he’d ruined a perfectly good outfit—and thrown in a few extra wounds for free.

"That is not important. Sit again."

I folded myself back into the lotus position.

Ugh… this feels gross.

Sand was already working its way into places it shouldn’t.

"Concentrate."

"Yes."

I closed my eyes once more and, breathing in the metallic scent of blood, prepared to resume training.

The mana responded instantly.

But something was different. The mana that had once flowed like water was now scattered into separate droplets. And the mana lingering around the wounds where blood had spilled…

It’s boiling!

So this was what he meant by “burn.”

The mana was literally burning.

"Good! You are doing well!"

I focused on whatever was burning the mana—a red energy made of grains even finer than the mana particles themselves.

Poison?

It was the aura of poison. I couldn’t be completely sure, but every experience I’d had with toxins so far was screaming that this was it.

When I dug deeper into that crimson ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠poison, I realized my entire body was made of it.

Whoa. That’s insane.

The poison existed as tiny particles that refused to blend with the mana.

"Did you see?"

"Yes. I saw it."

"Then try."

Following my master’s words, I moved the poison that filled my whole body. A volume several times greater than the mana itself crashed over it. The red poison and the blue mana refused to mix easily.

That’s why he told me to burn it!

I finally understood what “burn the mana” meant.

I began burning the mana with the power of the poison. Or rather, I imagined myself doing so. Inside my body the two energies collided, and the poison started consuming the mana.

At first I was careful, but once the poison caught, it spread in an instant.

"Ghk…"

Suddenly a pain like needles stabbing every inch of my body tore through me. Impurities produced by the burning mana piled up throughout my flesh.

"Cough, ghk."

Bloody foam was already bubbling from my lips. Once the poison began to burn, it showed no mercy.

"Grrraaaagh!"

Resistance or not, the pain was so intense I thought my breath would stop. My eyes felt like they were burning out of my skull; my mouth was so dry I couldn’t form words. Yet my body refused to move.

"Endure it."

A cool energy flowed down my back from my master.

Cold.

He was helping with a chill that soothed the fire inside me. Even so, the agony never let up.

Pssht, pssht.

My fingertips burst open. I couldn’t see them, but the sensation at the ends of my hands was gone.

Trickle.

Something hot ran from my eyes. It definitely wasn’t tears.

I thought I’d gotten used to pain, but holy shit.

Damn it. God the Father—no, Allah, Buddha, every deity out there. I’m coming.

Calling on every god I could name, my consciousness cut out once again.

Scritch, scritch.

The quiet sound of wood scraping against wood reached my ears.

"Awake, are you?"

Outside the window, moonlight was already streaming in.

"M… Master."

"Yes. Speak."

"Good evening…"

"So you still have the strength for nonsense."

Prurprur ignored me and went back to carving whatever he was working on. It was his hobby.

He has zero talent for sculpture, but he never quits.

Scritch, scritch.

"Master. What about dinner?"

"My belly is stuck to my backbone."

"Just let me rest a little longer and I’ll get up and cook for ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you."

After that brief exchange I turned my head toward the window. The pain was already gone. Aside from a mild stiffness, my condition was excellent.

Was my body always this tough?

Probably not. Master must have given me some kind of antidote. What a ridiculous teacher—inflict the disease, then hand out the cure.

A small laugh escaped me.

As if determined to interrupt my thoughts, a system message blinked into view.

So this is Prurprur-style mana training.

But were burning and putrefying really the same thing?

The question crossed my mind, yet I didn’t feel like nitpicking the details.

Anyway, this counts as success.

I’d learned Mana Putrefaction, but the quest-completion message stayed silent.

— Master the Intermediate Magic Tome together with Prurprur.

I’d just laid the foundation for using mana. Learning the intermediate tome probably wouldn’t be easy either, but after enduring this much pain, what was left that could stop me?

I’d rather regress to discharge day and go through the military all over again.

"I’ll prepare the meal."

I got up and made dinner. I was in a good mood, so I went all out—two packs of Hot Chicken Flavor Ramen.

"Master, it’s ready."

"Thank you…"

"…?"

What was this? Why did the old man suddenly feel so unfamiliar?

"Is something wrong?"

"What could be wrong?"

"I mean, I gave you two packs. You’re supposed to go crazy with joy."

"Thank you. Thank you. There. Twice. Satisfied?"

"Tch. Fine. Enjoy your meal."

I ate Hot Chicken Flavor Ramen with Prurprur and soon fell asleep. On a deserted island there wasn’t much else to do anyway.

"Wake up!"

"Uwaaah!"

"The sun is already high, you brat! I’m hungry!"

"Did some ghost that starved to death latch onto you or what? Fine, I’m up."

Today was finally the day I would learn new magic.

"Disciple. Nothing special will happen today."

"You’re supposed to teach me magic."

"Is there truly anything left to teach? Simply do it. Open the book."

"Yes."

I opened the Intermediate Magic Tome.

Rustle.

The first page revealed the words:

Mana Putrefaction…

And the spells that followed:

Toxin Recognition, Poison Qi Expulsion, Venom Explosion…

Flip, flip.

Acid Poison, Paralysis Poison, Sleep Poison…

"Uh, Master?"

"How is it?"

"Why is it doing this?"

The spells in the tome slammed themselves straight into my head.

Ding!

"Well? How do you find Prurprur-style training?"

"Whoa! This is insane!"

"Hahaha! Is it not magnificent?"

"Yeah… but Master."

"Hm?"

"What’s wrong with your body?"

Prurprur’s form was flickering in slow, irregular pulses.

"Why are you blinking like that?!"