Skill Awakening
Swish. Swish.
My dick bastard was still thrusting into thin air.
Fortunately, Chae Suhyun seemed too focused on the boss monster to notice.
If she'd caught me, she would have given me that incredibly hurt look again.
A naked Vampire Count.
And her body was just...
Oh, shit.
Totally my type.
In this world, fucking monsters wasn't exactly a rare occurrence.
Once you start sensing mana, the backlash causes your libido to explode.
But not everyone is a handsome man or a beautiful woman.
No matter how much your libido explodes, there are definitely people no one wants to sleep with.
Because lookism exists everywhere.
The leftovers, the outcasts.
Where do those people relieve their sexual desires?
Do they just hook up with each other?
No.
Even they have standards.
But masturbation doesn't cut it.
So they turn their eyes to monster bestiality.
Women go for monsters with reasonably sized dicks, like goblins or kobolds.
Men go for non-repulsive humanoid monsters like nagas, harpies, or vampires.
Among them, dungeons with dark elves are popular enough that even normal, non-outcast hunters frequent them.
They say there are even guilds in the underworld that monopolize dungeons with those monsters to run prostitution rings.
Anyway.
It's that common of a practice.
Which means.
I wasn't saying anything all that weird.
"I really want to try it at least once..."
"...Control yourself. This isn't some low-to-mid rank dungeon."
"I guess it's impossible, right? I was really curious what a vampire pussy feels like..."
What a waste.
To think I just have to watch that hot body turn into a handful of ash.
Feeling regretful, I licked my lips while staring at the Vampire Count.
But.
Even though she was just a monster.
She didn't seem to like my gaze.
To be precise, she looked disgusted.
Frowning deeply, she covered her nipples and pussy with her hands.
"...Does a mere monster actually feel shame?"
"You filthy half-breed...! Whose naked body do you think you are daring to look upon!"
"'Naked body' my ass. Would it kill you to let me have a taste... I can't even eat it, I just have to look."
"...Hey. You should stop provoking her..."
"Insolent fool!!"
"Insolent my ass, you were sleeping naked like a whore!"
"Stop provoking her!"
"Y-You...! Die!!"
Suddenly, the Vampire Count flew into a rage.
Normally, boss monsters have phases you're supposed to follow.
But she completely ignored the phases and immediately unleashed her ultimate skill.
"It's a blood feast—!!"
"Oh, shit?"
"I told you to stop provoking her, you motherfucker!!"
Splaaaaash!
A crimson liquid spraying from the Vampire Count's hands flooded the entire boss room.
No, seriously.
Does it make sense to trigger a final-phase desperation move just because she got called a whore?
What kind of balance patch is this...!
"Fuck! You said you ran A-class dungeons for a year! Didn't you know high-rank dungeon bosses skip to random phases when they get agitated?!"
"I didn't think she'd pull out her desperation move right away!!"
Even while dodging the small thorns shooting out of the crimson liquid,
Chae Suhyun kept hurling curses at me.
Ah...
Who could have known it would turn out like this?
Even in this chaos, she wasn't just dodging the thorns aimed at her; she was parrying all the ones flying toward me.
No matter how stupidly I behaved, the instinct to protect the rear support seemed engraved in her body.
She really is an excellent hunter.
If she's that good, maybe she can get us out of this situation somehow?
"What do we do now?"
"...Urgh!"
...
Guess not.
She already looks pushed to her limit.
Sigh...
Shit.
Is my life ending here?
I guess I should take comfort in the fact that I got to have a ton of sex right before the end.
As death drew near, one detail suddenly bothered me.
"Hey, Chae Suhyun."
"...? This motherfucker again..."
"Come on, we don't know if we're going to make it out of here. Just let it slide."
Ow, that hurts!
Look at her intentionally letting a few slip past just because I dropped the honorifics.
Is she the incarnation of Confucianism or something?
Anyway.
"I have a question."
Clang. Clang-clang. Clang!
"Come on, at least give me an answer..."
"Fuck!! I'm busy!"
Clang! Clang-clang-clang. Clang!
Hmm.
She definitely looks busy.
Dodging what's aimed at her, parrying what's aimed at me.
She's practically running a one-woman show.
"Noona. Were you a virgin when we had sex?"
"...!!"
"Facing death all of a sudden makes you think about these things. Were you really a virgin? Did I take your cherry? That kind of stuff."
"I'm busy trying to keep us alive and you're spouting this bullshit, you motherfucker...!"
Clang. Clang-clang.
"No, think about it. The doppelgangers definitely had sex, but you were a virgin. It's like it exists and doesn't exist at the same time... some kind of Schrödinger's hymen."
"If you're going to talk shit, do something about that... Ah, no!!"
Clang... Thud.
Ah.
She made a mistake.
A thorn of a completely different scale compared to the small ones from before was flying straight toward me.
Phew.
This is the end.
Twenty-one years.
A life that was long if you call it long, short if you call it short.
Resigned to my death, I gently closed my eyes.
Thwack!
Ah.
I felt something pierce my chest.
Am I dying now?
Because my chest was pierced?
I waited for eternal rest.
...
......
"Ow, that smarts, fuck!"
A sharp sting, like grabbing a doorknob in the winter when you least expect it, shot through me.
I jumped up from the intense prickling sensation in my chest.
Argh...!
It felt like getting hit by a million volts of static electricity.
As expected, a giant thorn hurts in a different way...
...
"Huh? Why does it just sting?"
"W-What? Why aren't you dead?"
The Vampire Count pointed at me, looking utterly bewildered.
Chae Suhyun's jaw was slack, completely dumbfounded.
What's going on?
Why am I not dead?
"Is this thing supposed to just sting?"
"T-That is impossible...! My blood thorn only stings...?"
"...Hey."
"Yes, Noona?"
"What is that on your balls?"
"Huh?"
What's wrong with my balls?
I lifted my dick and stretched out my scrotum.
Gasp.
What the hell is this!
Why is there a crest on my balls?!
I examined my scrotum, which was stretched out like rubber.
My balls were glowing with a golden light.
To be precise, it was a brilliant crest engraved on my balls.
This...
It looks similar to the crests engraved on women's lower abdomens.
"Are you... actually capable of self-buffing?"
"Huh? No way. If I could do that, would I still be a C-class hunter?"
A self-buff that applies to the caster as well.
This kind of buff, commonly called a self-buff, can't be used unless you're at least a B-class buffer.
Since the skill itself applies to both the caster and the target simultaneously, awakening it immediately gets you ranked as a B-class buffer or higher.
But I was a C-class buffer.
I didn't have any of those awesome features.
"...Open your status window."
"Right now?"
"Now is the only time. Don't you see that bitch standing there with a stupid look on her face?"
That was true.
I had taken her desperation move head-on, and it had ended with a mere "Ow, that smarts, fuck!"
It was only natural she was dumbfounded.
I quickly opened my status window and checked my skill list.
Holy Communion (A)
Internal Ejaculations: 1,000 / 1,000
[Conditions Met]
Holy Communion (S) [NEW!!]
...
Huh?
"S-S-class...?!"
"It went up?! A skill awakening?!"
"I-I think so! There was a hidden condition I didn't know about, but thanks to your pussy, it was met!"
"F-Fuck! Don't say it's because of my pussy!"
"I said *thanks to* it, not because of it!"
"It's the same fucking thing...!"
S-class.
An S-class skill!
I'm a buffer with an S-class buff!
At this rate, escaping C-class rank is going to be a piece of cake.
B-class... no, if I just go to some easy C-class dungeon and farm stats, I could even aim for A-class!
"The effect...! What's the effect?!"
"H-Hold on a second!"
I turned my gaze back to the skill window.
Holy Communion (S)
◈ Boosts the target's physical capabilities by 250% for a limited duration.
◈ Grants the caster dark attribute immunity for a limited duration.
...
This is broken.
Fuck, even though it's my own skill, it's ridiculously overpowered.
Whew...
Calm down.
According to the skill description, I now have absolute immunity to the dark attribute.
My body itself has become holy.
If so?
Can I do this?
Step. Step.
I slowly walked forward.
The Vampire Count was still staring at me with a blank face.
She was really slow to grasp the situation.
And Chae Suhyun.
She was also staring at me with a dumbfounded expression.
Has this bastard lost his mind?
That was exactly what her face said.
Ha, shit.
I could understand why.
She probably thought I had finally gone crazy.
But right now, I had something more urgent to do than explain.
Thud.
I arrived right in front of the Vampire Count.
Finally coming to her senses, she tried to trigger her desperation pattern once more.
She stretched both arms high into the sky, preparing to chant the activation phrase.
Stupid bitch.
Does she know what happens when you stretch your hands up to the sky like that?
I cast my gaze downward.
I saw her pale skin.
Specifically, a bit lower.
Her belly button.
And a bit lower than that.
The soft flesh gently covering her womb...
Her mons pubis, slightly protruding as if asserting its presence.
I twisted my waist and wound up my fist.
And then.
With a powerful twist of my hips, I drove my fist forward.
Crack—!!!
"Bleeegh—...!!!"
The Vampire Count, who had been in the middle of an untimely cheer, gagged and collapsed forward.
Tsk, tsk.
I clicked my tongue at the sight.
"Where does a woman get off raising her hands so immodestly?"
"Y-You bastard...!"
My mom always said a woman should be modest.
...
Of course, I don't actually have any memories of my mother.