The Emperor and Empress's Wicked Plan
A savory fertilizer stench filled the imperial palace of the Krantz Empire. Emperor Ethelricus was enjoying a rare moment of respite with his ministers, finely ground away by paperwork.
"Rest is nice, but without the gallery, it's so boring. I've got a ton of memes ready to post."
The sun of the empire, Ethelricus Tiberius Magnus von Unt zu Drachenkrantz. A splendid emperor handling most of the state affairs in place of the ailing Valerian. It was said he didn't gallery because of the endless flood of duties, but that wasn't true.
The emperor's secret hobby, rumored to be non-existent. His one and only pastime was uploading memes to the gallery.
No regrets, though. Ever since his mid-teens, he'd been ground down by imperial administration, so this was his sole entertainment. For that fun, he'd even forsaken the Moderator's provided features. His precious daughter nagged him to make a high-nik account, but he'd desperately refused. He couldn't give up this joy.
He'd decided to keep trolling despite the minor inconveniences.
But he had one worry: lately, his posts were getting deleted at an alarming speed. Maybe he'd drawn too much attention. Judging that it'd be hard to shock the gallery dwellers at this rate, he decided to prepare a new style of trolling. Using the newly added 'GIF' feature. That would surely bring great pleasure. A 7-day ban would hurt, but it felt trivial compared to the happiness it'd bring.
The emperor fantasized about a joyful future, mentally planning which memes to collect.
As if sensing his wicked heart, the emperor's partner, Empress Seraphina, came to visit him during his rest.
Knock-knock-
"Dear, are you inside? I came because I heard you were resting."
"Oh, Sera. Come on in. I was just about to discuss something with you."
As his welcoming words ended, the bedroom door slid open smoothly. The empress closed it behind her and sat on the edge of the bed where the emperor lay.
A bond grown together since childhood. The beautiful woman he'd vowed eternal love with. She sat beside him, and they began chatting.
"Is this about the matter you wanted to discuss? I thought we'd paused official duties until the gallery upgrade..."
"Haha, it's not state affairs, Sera. It's about our hobby."
Our hobby. Like the harmonious couple they were, they shared it—but unfortunately, it wasn't something respectable. The emperor trolled with memes, the empress with posts. A lovely pair, both flagged as gallery persons of interest in different fields.
"Ah! Speaking of which, I saw a feature added that you'd like. GIFs, right?"
"Exactly. Honestly, all the memes I've posted so far felt a bit lacking. So I thought I'd get your advice."
"Hehe, the memes you post are already excellent, dear. Now just turn them into GIFs and upload—that'll get you some fun reactions."
"You think so? But lately, my posts are getting deleted faster and faster. That's what worries me."
"Oh my, that's because what you show is so brilliant. If it were lame, they wouldn't even bother deleting—it'd just get ignored."
Persuasive words. The emperor decided to stick with his current style, just securing GIFs, following her advice.
"Then we'd better hurry. Once subjugation ends, it'll be hard to get more."
Once territorial stabilization finished, sourcing memes would be nearly impossible. He began mentally mapping the remaining magic beast packs near the Imperial Capital.
Ethelricus's serious face. Seraphina admired it while offering advice to help her partner.
"What about the orc pack to the west? Orcs are so instinct-driven—they're bound to yield great GIFs."
"You're the best wife ever. I was just thinking the same. We might even find ones relieving urges with 'Slogmar'. That'll be fun."
"Oh my. Using that toad? Orcs have some unique tastes, huh."
Seraphina blushed, imagining orcs relieving urges. The magic beast Slogmar absorbed shocks then released them—a nuisance to continent's intelligent beings, but a fine tool for lustful beasts.
"Unique, right? I've seen them use those pains-in-the-ass so effectively. Just once, but I was too flustered to meme it."
"Thanks to you, I know what to post next. Soon as the ban lifts, up it goes."
"That's my girl. No wonder I can't take my eyes off you."
The beautiful, wickedly grinning pair. A plan to torment the gallery dwellers for ages, forever unknown to the Moderator, was taking shape.
Roll roll roll roll roll roll
Inside the bunker, the same old scenery. I was waiting for the gallery door to open at 4 PM.
Preparing a meal to treat Sora, who'd been locked away for 16 hours.
"Table set. Once the gallery opens, just buy and eat."
Huff huff huff huff
Right after setup, Hero and Bigshot took positions under the table. Sadly, no special treats for now.
"Gallery's not open yet, so no food. We'll eat together when Sora comes out. Got it?"
"Woof!"
Sigh, these smart boys. They understood and resumed rolling around. I sat at the table, waiting out the remaining time.
Time passed slowly. The gallery door reopened.
[Guessing the New Food]
[Subjugation! All-Out Subjugation!]
[Hoo--Hah--Hoo--Hah]
[Oh, Forgot to Buy Baguette]
[(This post has been deleted.)]
The gallery dwellers swarmed, posting away. I confirmed no issues, then glanced at Sora in her cat form, still curled up.
Just in time—connection complete, she was stretching like a cat.
"Welcome back, Sora. Food's all ready. Eat right away?"
Good to see you, Rain. No problems, it seems. That's a relief. Could I eat after mana recharge? Feeling a bit drained.
"Of course. We'll eat leisurely later."
I swiftly moved to the sofa. Sora settled on my lap. Somehow, this had become our home's default scenery.
Feeling like a mafia boss, I posted my planned notice and started browsing.
Among the flood, subjugation-related posts stood out. Written right at opening, everyone was just awaiting deployment orders.
Curious about their work, I considered asking the gallery, but it'd probably just get me flamed like the food incident. Time like this, Sora's the one.
"SoraSora, what's an adventurer's job?"
A profession that takes on requests. Mainly divided into combat-focused adventurers and labor-focused ones. Pre-Great Catastrophe, they handled security and defense in areas beyond imperial reach. Once rivaled the empire's military might. Now, due to financial woes and member exodus, all withdrawn except the capital HQ.
"Thanks, SoraSora."
They were thriving until the catastrophe smashed them, forcing them to farm. From peasants to royals, everyone farming equally.
This... is equality?
A bitter smile at the equality born of drastic downward leveling. Anyway, this explained the empire's unstable territories. Adventurers, a pillar of security, swept away by catastrophe's aftermath. No way to manage vast lands.
Could adventurers shine again post-recovery? Probably not like before. The empire had already scraped up every talent and ground them down. Above all, they wouldn't tolerate an armed group outside their control. Useful adventurers? Straight to the army with better terms.
But as an isekai'd guy, I couldn't abandon the romance of adventurers. In my heart, I wished them strength through this crisis.