Chapter 25 - Gallery Stalking Before the Eastern Expedition's Return
Thud thud thud thud thud. Thud thud thudda thudda. Another peaceful day in the bunker. I was killing time while waiting for news on the end of the expedition.
I clicked in expecting some troll post based on the title, but it was pure innocent kid vibes. Plus, some solid info to boot.
"So Archmages or Swordmasters get their lifespan extended by 200 years, huh."
I'd heard about lifespan stuff from that old-timer CanEatBooksToo before, but 200 years was news to me today. And elves live 1000 years? Damn.
"Wait... then WorldTree Guardian is 436, so in human terms..."
Let's not go there. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.
In human age terms, that's about 44 years old.
Sora hit me with the cold hard facts. Even rounded it up nicely, no decimals.
While we're at it, might as well ask about other races' lifespans.
"Thanks, Sora. So what about dragons and dwarves?"
Dragons are alive, so they gotta have lifespans, right?
Dragons possess immortal bodies that do not age. Dwarven lifespans vary greatly by individual, ranging from 100 to 300 years.
No lifespan for dragons. But dwarves are all over the place.
"Any idea why dwarven lifespans vary so much?"
Based on gallery posts. It's not definitively proven through research, but dwarves heavily involved in mining and metallurgy tend to have shorter lifespans. The longest-lived dwarf on record was a 512-year-old food industry worker.
"Thanks, Sora-Sora."
No problem.
So, mining without safety gear, bellows work leading to lung disease, and booze on top? Max lifespan around 500 then. I pulled out my notebook and added masks to the sales list. Sell 'em at full price to win some dragon favor.
Lots scribbled already, but booze and chicken stand out. I'd sent some chicken to His Imperial Majesty with a request. After trying it, let me know a good selling price. Oh, and a little advertising on the side.
Can't live on baguettes forever—gallery folks need some comfort food now and then.
"Days passed and no post yet..."
I figured we'd get a tearful chicken mukbang meme from Her Highness by now. Nothing. If I didn't know preservation magic was in play, I'd curse the old man for breaking his word. Chicken won't spoil, so there's gotta be a reason.
Then a title caught my eye.
Why the hell collect crap like that? Things were getting uneasy anyway. Why so few trolls so far? Hunger. Baguette bread killed starvation fears, and fertilizer experiments are about to drop like a bomb.
Sudden hope leads to thrashing joy, then weird detours. Time to prep that mandatory Moderator draft.
Wonder if Sora could do it?
"Sora-Sora, mind if I appoint you as a Moderator?"
If so, no need for others, right?
Regrettably, I do not have a gallery account. Thus, I cannot serve as Moderator.
"Got it. Thanks for the info."
Yeah, Sora as Moderator would be too OP. Better one per race. Humans and elves have obvious candidates.
"Dwarves are the issue... no standout users."
Dwarves barely post. When they do, it's questions or info shares. Zero interest in the gallery.
"Then make 'em interested."
How? Sell booze, duh. Shop booze drops, dwarf accounts explode. Snag a Moderator then.
Rain, the Eastern Expedition's official report has been posted to the gallery. Shall I display it?
"Oh! Please do, Sora."
Displaying on screen.
Finally! About time! I eagerly turned to the screen.
Expedition wrapped up smoothly. And now I knew why no chicken ad: "Waiting to eat as a family, huh?"
Fair enough. It'll be the most memorable meal ever. Next time I see 'em, gotta bring something even tastier.
"Nice. Once this hits concept posts, time for the update notice."
Displaying upcoming upgrade features on screen.
Sora jumped right in after hearing me. Couldn't see her face, but she seemed super excited.