Shattered Love
I couldn't breathe for the fear.
My mind went blank, emptied of every thought. Just facing her was enough to set my heart thrashing wildly in my chest.
"Hah... hhk... hhk..."
"Hera...!"
The moment Athena saw me, she rushed over, unlocked the cuffs from my wrists, and cupped my cheek, staring down at me with a face full of fury.
"Who did this to you? Was it that bastard Bordin?"
Her blazing eyes bored straight through me.
The instant her hand touched my face, a violent wave of revulsion surged up from deep inside my body.
"Don't touch me!!!"
"...Hera?"
Fighting down the nausea rising in my throat, I shoved her away with both hands.
"Hah... hhk... uugh... uwek..."
I tried to hold it back, but the sickness climbed all the way to my mouth. I clamped a hand over my lips and started to retch. It felt as if every organ inside me had been flipped upside down. No matter how hard I heaved, though, nothing came up but dry, empty spasms.
Athena stood frozen, eyes wide, as if being pushed away by me had struck her harder than any blow. But the second she saw me suffering, she discarded whatever shock she felt and ran back to support me.
"Hera..."
"D-don't... touch... hhk... hah..."
Every time her hand brushed my body, a nauseating sickness melted through me like acid. But I was already so drained I was on the verge of collapsing. My body no longer had the strength to push her off. All I could do was twist and thrash, making feeble attempts to shake her hands away.
"Mmnh... Mommy..."
The commotion must have woken her. Mari, who had been sleeping soundly beside me, rubbed her eyes and sat up. Her blue eyes came fully into view. She blinked at me with those big, round pupils—then noticed someone else was next to me and rolled sideways with a soft little tumble.
".......You."
The moment she found Athena, her pupils narrowed into vertical slits like a predator's, turning cold and vicious.
"You... did this to Mommy..."
Fierce mana erupted around Mari. With a sharp bang, it blasted Athena away from me. Athena went flying all the way to the far end of the room and stared at Mari with an expression of pure disbelief.
"...What do you think you're doing?"
A murderous aura boiled up around Athena. Mari's blue mana answered in kind, thrashing just as savagely.
"Hhk... Mari... don't..."
I dragged in as much air as my ragged lungs would allow and pulled Mari into my arms by the waist.
"Ah... Mommy?"
She stiffened in surprise for a moment—but it worked. The wild surge of her mana gradually subsided. Once she had calmed, I gently set her down beside me.
Then, on trembling legs, I staggered toward Athena.
One step.
Closing the distance toward those golden eyes fixed so intensely on me only made my heart pound harder.
Another step.
I swallowed the tears swimming in my vision and forced down every emotion threatening to burst free as I took another step toward her.
Like a condemned prisoner being dragged to the gallows, every step closer to her felt impossibly heavy and terrifying.
But I had to go.
I had to cling to this last desperate hope of mine—even if it turned out to be nothing but a delusion.
Before I knew it, I was standing right in front of Athena. I lifted my head and met her gaze. The sight of those dazzlingly bright eyes was all it took for a tear I had been holding back to slip free and trail down my cheek.
"...Hera?"
Perhaps startled by my tears, her eyes trembled ever so slightly as she looked at me.
"...Athena."
My last hope. The one thing I refused to let go of. The wish that everything had been a misunderstanding.
In my head, I already knew. The words she had spoken aloud had been far too clear, far too viciously unambiguous in their meaning. But my heart wanted to deny every last one of those facts.
Maybe Athena had misspoken. Maybe someone else had said those things while wearing her face. Or maybe Bordin really had worked some kind of scheme after all.
They were all empty, baseless fantasies with no chance of being true. And still, desperate enough to grasp at any straw, I kept spinning those delusions just to keep myself from falling apart.
I didn't want to believe it. I didn't even want to think about it. I simply could not accept that Athena had done something like that to me.
I forced my tightly sealed lips open and asked her in a voice that shook violently.
"...I-is it... true...?"
Athena looked down at me with a puzzled frown, as if she hadn't quite caught what I said.
"Hera. What are you talking about?"
You.
Me.
"That you... gave the order to break me... is that true...?"
".....What?"
Her eyes flew wide open. Confusion flooded her face—she looked like she couldn't even process what she had just heard. And in that expression packed full of bewilderment, a fragile hope stirred in a corner of my chest.
Please, Athena.
Tell me it isn't true.
Get angry at me. Ask me what the hell I'm talking about.
Tell me I ended up like this because I'm stupid. Because I'm pathetic. Because I'm a fool who can't do anything on my own. Hurt me by saying it's all my own fault for being that kind of person.
You can even snap at me for blaming other people for my own problems.
Just please...
Please don't say that you did it.
But the last hope I had clung to so desperately—
".....So Bordin told you."
—shattered into pieces with a single, effortless sentence from her.
"Haha......"
My eyes, stripped of that final glimmer of hope, could do nothing but pour out tears without end.
Crack—!!
The sound of flesh splitting. My head snapped violently to the side. I felt the skin burst and tasted the metallic tang of blood in my mouth—but there was no room left in me to register the pain.
I turned my head forward again and looked at her.
Hera was crying.
She was biting down on her lip hard enough to draw blood, desperately holding back her voice. But her reddened eyes, the tears streaming down her cheeks, those eyes drowned in despair until every light in them had gone out—looking at her so wretched made my chest ache.
What drove me even closer to madness was the knowledge that the person who had reduced her to this was no one else but me.
"Why.... why did you do it!!!"
Hera screamed, her voice cracking with anguish. I could hear it trembling, submerged in tears.
"I trusted you!! I loved you!!! Why... why!! Hhk... hhk..."
She couldn't hold it in any longer. Covering her face with both hands, she broke into a raw, heartbroken sob.
".......I..."
I couldn't say a word.
There wasn't a shred of falsehood in the claim that I had broken her. What face did I have left to open my mouth in front of her?
I had thought about it for a long time. If I could turn back time, I would have beaten half to death the version of myself who gave the order to destroy Hera—without a second of hesitation.
Back then, I didn't understand the feeling called love. All that existed was the possessive urge to have Hera, and I treated her like an object. By the time I finally recognized my own heart, I had already committed an unforgivable sin against her.
So I had desperately wished for it—that Hera would never, ever learn of my filthy past. I silenced the servants by holding their lives as collateral. And right in front of Hera, I shamelessly shared love with her as if nothing were wrong.
But no lie lasts forever.
In the end, everything had come to light.
Did someone like me even have the right to comfort her?
I only hesitated. In the end I couldn't manage a single word. I at least tried to reach a hand out toward her—
Slap—
Hera's hand struck my arm away hard.
"D-don't... don't touch me..."
Trembling all over, she backed away from me. But her legs gave out, and she toppled forward onto the floor.
"Hera!"
"Stay away!!!"
I moved toward her on pure reflex—but the sight of me approaching made her flinch in terror and scream.
"L-leave me... alone.... hhk... hah..."
She wrapped both arms around herself, kneeling on the floor, her whole body shaking. All I could do was stare at her with violently trembling eyes.
".....Hera..."
"Hhk... hhk... hhk..."
...This was not a good time for conversation.
My being here would only torment her further. Once Hera had calmed down a little, we would be able to talk again. I was sure of it.
"....I'll come back once you've settled down. Take care of yourself until then."
No answer came.
In the end I turned and walked out of her room. Guilt for making her cry, and a dreadful premonition that our relationship was slipping away from me, stabbed through my heart like a thicket of vicious needles.
"....Is that everything?"
"Yes."
The brown-haired maid bowed her head as she answered. Alina—that was her name. I remembered it clearly; she had been close enough to Hera to be almost a friend. And I also remembered, with painful clarity, how jealousy had driven me to order her to betray Hera. That memory was still tormenting me.
"That's enough. You may go."
"...You're sparing me?"
Surprise flickered across her face, as if she hadn't expected me to let her walk away unharmed. She had confessed that she had been following Bordin's orders—right up until the moment she betrayed him at the end. Had she assumed I would kill her for it?
"....I'll let it go. Thanks to you, Hera made it out alive."
"....."
I had heard the full story from the maid. From the reason Bordin turned traitor, all the way to how he met his end. The Imperial Seal discovered in his office. The magical device that had recorded every single order I had ever given. How Hera had fainted after hearing it all. And finally—that in her shock, she had tried to take her own life.
Thump—thump—
The pain exploding in my chest was unbearable. I bit down hard on my lip, and once again the taste of blood filled my mouth.
"Make sure Hera doesn't come to any harm. She seems to trust you, so look after her well."
I waved the brown-haired maid away. She looked like she had a great deal she wanted to say; her lips worked soundlessly for a long while before she finally gave up, squeezed her eyes shut, and withdrew.
"Haa..."
Left alone in the room, I dragged both hands hard down my face, forcing back every emotion threatening to spill out.
"Time.... if enough time passes...."
Someday.
Wouldn't there come a day when Hera would smile at me again?
I wished for it with everything I had.
But the pain that kept stabbing through my heart showed not the slightest sign of fading.