Chapter 11. Communal Living (2)
The reason Hayun had answered the way she did wasn't purely emotional.
That said, it wasn't as if emotion played no part at all. If she laid out every reason and ranked them in order, that emotional one would certainly have landed somewhere near the top.
But she had other reasons of her own — reasons she had actually thought through.
Hayun had fought... for justice.
She was past the age of believing the world held a spotless, perfect justice. Even so, there had to be a second-best option.
Stand against the unjust. Strive to right the world's wrongs.
No amount of power would ever make the world perfectly good — but you kept trying anyway, kept moving forward.
And the Federation, as an organization, was simply not something she could choose as that "second-best option."
"I want you to help me get revenge."
She could still see Jieun's face as she'd said it.
Close enough that every breath between words brushed against her skin.
Those black eyes had been like a bottomless abyss.
Hayun had seen Jieun's eyes after she transformed into a magical girl. Stars were engraved in them. Not brightly burning stars — but the kind of light you couldn't help staring into.
A black hole is a celestial body too. The thing born when a star's life ends also shines. It doesn't shine on its own, granted — it's the sum of all the light it has dragged in — but if that didn't count as shining, then you could hardly say the moon shone either.
Hope is the power you can hold only by refusing to let go.
Even if the strength Jieun wielded didn't spring from hope, Jieun herself had not given up. That was what mattered.
She kept her gaze lifted, refusing to look away, until at last it was Jieun who moved first.
Jieun turned and walked away from the house.
Should I follow her further? Hayun wavered for a moment, then turned back.
Not yet. Not yet.
It would take time.
They could still talk. At the very least, Jieun did not hate her — that much would never change.
So there was still hope.
...As for the ones who had followed her, it would fall to Hayun to manage them. If only so that Jieun wouldn't feel uneasy about having all these other people around.
I'd only stepped outside for a moment of air, and already my body was shivering.
The cold cut in worst through the holes in my clothes. In the end, I gave up and headed back inside.
How were we going to get through tonight?
The plastic sheeting I'd hung inside kept the wind out well enough, but it was no real answer to the chill. There was nothing like a blanket for the kids to sleep under, and they certainly hadn't come dressed for the cold.
I didn't particularly want to worry about it — but neither did I want to wake up tomorrow and find one of them frozen stiff. Let me say it once more: I am not a murderer.
I was walking back in, scheming up ways to chase them all out, when I felt the warmth in the room and stopped short, a little startled.
"Jieun!"
Hearing the rattle of the badly maintained sliding door, Hayun's face popped out from the kitchen.
...She'd lit a fire?
Well, I'd lit fires before myself. There'd been smoke, sure, but I'd never actually been caught at it.
Just as I stepped in, Iris came in on my heels. The remaining three hovered around the room, unable to settle anywhere.
It wasn't as though lighting a fire required all five of them — but given the circumstances, standing around doing nothing must have felt awfully conspicuous.
"......"
I stared at the girls for a long moment, then spoke.
"...Have you eaten?"
No answer came back.
They'd followed me on pure impulse, so of course they had no idea what they were supposed to do. They hadn't brought a single thing with them.
Forget meals — they didn't even have a spare change of underwear for tomorrow.
I closed my eyes and drew a few slow breaths.
...Fine.
Gritting my teeth, I ducked into the tent and unzipped my bag.
I did have emergency rations.
I picked up a half-eaten can of Spam, then silently set it back down. I gave it some thought.
Canned food was about the most edible thing I owned. Tuna or pork, either way — at least it counted as "meat."
But it was heavy, and it cost more per gram, so I'd never managed to stockpile much. What I'd stocked up on instead was hardtack. Honestly, I hadn't bought it to be my staple so much as belly filler — a contingency for when I truly had nothing, or when I was so sick of canned food I could scream.
Bone-dry crackers, hardtack, nuts...
"Hm."
Watching me deliberate so gravely, James let out a scoff.
"So you would rather not part with your rations after all. I see."
"......"
I glared at him in silence for a beat.
Yes, I knew. It was a selfish thought. But this supply had been gathered for me alone, hadn't it? It felt like my plans were unraveling at the seams, and I wasn't pleased about it.
But... what could I do?
In the end, I brought out the hardtack. A big bag crammed full of barley hardtack that looked about as appetizing as chalk.
I stepped out of the tent and set it down, and every eye swung toward me.
"This is all I can spare."
I dropped down where I stood as I said it.
"Make do with this tonight. From tomorrow on, start thinking about what you're all going to do."
I set down a lantern and looked around at their faces.
Lit from below, the girls' faces looked ghastly pale. What — regretting it already?
I tore the bag open, pushed it toward them, took one for myself, and popped it in my mouth.
...Hard. Dry. Honestly, it was a struggle without water — and there was no boiled water on hand just now.
I'd lived like this long enough to be used to it; they hadn't. Until literally yesterday, these girls had been sleeping on plush beds in what amounted to a palace.
Mealtime was quiet.
The girls couldn't manage much hardtack. And this after fighting their way here without so much as a meal — they had to be starving.
But what could I say? There wasn't more food.
Please, let them beg to run away after one night of this. Then I could just dump them somewhere else and wash my hands of the whole thing.
I decided to move my sleeping spot.
And while I was at it, restock a little food with whatever money I still had left.
After the meal, right up until I went into my tent, the girls did nothing but trade glances, hardly exchanging a word.
"Good night, Jieun."
Only just before I crawled inside did Hayun's voice reach me.
I paused for the briefest instant, then went in without answering.
Zipping the tent shut didn't block out the sounds beyond it entirely.
But even lying there a while, I couldn't catch any real conversation. Were they being careful too? Worried I might eavesdrop on them?
...Don't think about it.
Despite the long nap I'd taken that afternoon, I was still bone-tired.
It didn't take me long to fall asleep.
For a while there came the sound of shifting inside the tent, and then a steady rhythm of breathing.
She must have been utterly wrung out — it was the kind of breathing that bordered on snoring, deep and heavy, like someone practicing slow, deliberate breaths.
Listening to it, Rose clutched her head.
"...What do we do?"
Iris asked.
Her face, too, was full of worry.
"Worse than... than we imagined."
Dahlia moaned.
"......"
Delphinium looked around the house again in silence, then turned toward the tent.
The fire inside had gone out; there was no telling anymore whether anyone lay within. Only the breathing drifting through its walls said that Jieun was still alive.
So she had been...
Living here? All this time?
It was a conclusion enough to stun the girls where they sat.
They had known Jeong Jieun was being hunted — by the government, by the Company, by the Federation. But never once had they imagined she was living like this.
How much time had passed since then? By any count, well over a month. The days were finally warming a little now, but until recently the weather had still been closer to winter than anything else.
"She can't have stayed in one place."
Hayun said.
"This is how she stayed hidden — moving unseen, from one forgotten place to the next. That's the only reason she was never found..."
"......"
A heavy silence.
Hayun had told them some of the story in the course of persuading them to come.
But not one of them had pictured anything like this. They'd assumed she was concealing her identity somehow, rotating between saunas and internet cafés and cheap lodgings, always on the move.
"...So that's why she never showed up on any of the CCTV."
Rose said, her voice heavy with a sigh. There was something like lament in it.
"...From the very start, she only ever went where there were no cameras at all."
"Good heavens..."
Delphinium and Dahlia each murmured a word.
The ragged clothes. It made sense now. The magical girls had only ever seen Jieun transformed. Whatever she wore underneath, the moment she wrapped magic around her body she looked immaculate again. Battle would fray and shred that shell — but by the next time they crossed paths, it would be whole once more.
After fighting, after wearing herself down and taking her hits, this was where she came back to. Or somewhere even worse than this.
A derelict house that couldn't keep out the wind — no, little better than a ruin — with a single tent pitched inside its walls, which she crawled into as though it were home.
If anyone passing by had happened to have ill intent, something terrible could have happened to her. It was the kind of place where that was a real possibility.
At the thought, Hayun's chest grew heavy.
That was also why none of them had left.
Guilt.
If she had never been caught up in that affair — if even one of the people in this room had simply stepped forward back then and said it wasn't Jieun who did it — that girl would never have had a reason to end up like this.
She might still be working as a combatant, or she might have been let go — but either way, she would be living an ordinary life, going to school like anyone else, with proper protection over her head.
And it was the five people in this room who had driven that girl here.
"......"
Hayun laid a hand over her chest.
The pained expression she hadn't been able to let show in front of Jieun rose to her face.
Yes. There was hope. She could still talk to Jieun. Jieun hadn't given up on everything yet. Hayun took comfort in that.
And at the same time—
—there might have been another way.
Jieun was beautiful. Her figure put other girls her age to shame. Which meant she could have... put that to use.
Of course, Hayun would never have wanted that. Objectively speaking, it would have been outright immoral — a violation of any number of laws.
But it would have been far easier than this. At least as far as her body went.
So why hadn't Jieun chosen that road?
Because she couldn't stomach it. Or because she couldn't bring herself to trust even the people she'd have met along the way.
Jieun was smart. Maybe she'd thought it through to the end. Maybe she'd decided this kind of life would cause far less trouble in the long run.
And yet, even so — Hayun was... so grateful to her.
For not giving up. Even in a situation like this.
"......"
Without a word, Iris reached out, picked up one of the hardtack pieces still sitting before them, and tried it.
It was her first time eating anything of the sort.
Dry and crumbly — nutty, if one were feeling generous — but it couldn't hold a candle to a cookie made with real butter. Someone, somewhere, might genuinely like it; it probably had its devotees. And yet Iris suspected that taste was not why Jieun had chosen it.
"Good grief."
Iris murmured it again.
This — this — as her staple food, for over a month.
That tenacity was almost frightening.
And—
"Is there anything we... can do?"
Rose murmured.
"She asked us for help. With her revenge."
"Are you actually going to do it?"
Dahlia asked. This time there was a thread of fear in her voice.
"I am. If we leave Jieun in this state, something truly irreversible might happen."
That silenced everyone.
She was right, of course.
If this life dragged on, Jieun's fury toward the ones who had driven her into it would only sharpen.
And all five of the people in this room belonged on that list.
Jieun's fighting was already turning brutal. Against anyone she deemed an enemy, she showed almost no restraint at all anymore.
So what would go through her mind, the day she came face to face with one of the people responsible for putting her here?
"...It's my responsibility."
Hayun said quietly.
It had come to this because Hayun had known everything and let it be.
"I never thought it would get this bad" was no excuse. Things had already gone this far.
Just as Jieun had said — too late. She had come too far.
So, before it got any later, before the distance grew any wider — all Hayun could do was what she was able to do.
"...So if any of you don't want to stay, you're free to go home. I only wanted you to understand what I'm trying to do, that's all."
Hayun lifted her head, looking resolved, and turned to the other girls.
"Jieun has said it time and again, hasn't she? As long as you simply don't stand in the way of what I'm trying to do—"
"...You say some heartbreaking things sometimes, you know that?"
Rose said, brow furrowed.
"We came all this way. There's no way we can just pretend we saw none of it."
"......"
Hayun looked at her.
"Well, I'm hardly one to talk — right up until today I was all for keeping the status quo..."
Rose looked up at the ceiling.
There was plenty of plastic, but with no proper tools and far too much effort needed to cover the ceiling as well, the job had been abandoned partway.
So there, at least, the bare concrete showed through, uncovered by any plastic.
Just looking at it was enough to sink your spirits.
"...I don't have a conscience so lacking that I'd help put her in a situation like this and then just walk away and leave her to it."
Iris nodded too. She said nothing outright, but she plainly meant to stay.
Delphinium and Dahlia, both green around the gills, nodded as well.
"Thank you."
She didn't yet know what any of them could actually do, but—
"How truly moving. A friendship fit to bring tears to one's eyes."
Someone cut into the conversation.
James.
Ambling unhurriedly out of the darkness, he crawled over and settled down beside Hayun, gazing up at her.
"I believe I could be of some small assistance."
"...You."
"Is something the matter? Surely you don't believe that girl survived out in this world all on her own. Without solid technical support, she would have looked into 'other means' long ago — no, even if she hadn't sought them out herself, others may well have put them into practice on her behalf."
Hayun looked down at James, but his face betrayed not a trace of fear.
"I've heard that voice before."
Hayun said.
"You're one of the executives. From the place Jieun belonged to."
"Well, well. I'm honored to be recognized."
James inclined his head in a small bow, then went on.
"My circumstances are, admittedly, rather less than ideal these days, but Miss Jeong Jieun and I remain in a relationship of considerable mutual exchange. It has hardly been a smooth arrangement, but we have maintained a working partnership all the same."
"......"
"In that spirit, I would be happy to extend some assistance to the rest of you as well."
"Assistance?"
"Yes. If nothing else, simply being able to use magic would make daily life easier for you all, would it not? For fear her smoke would give her away, Miss Jeong Jieun has scarcely burned so much as kindling this whole time."
Hayun's shoulders flinched.
The room was warm right now. And Jieun had shown barely any reaction at all to Hayun feeding the fire.
Or — had she simply been turning a blind eye?
James, evidently delighted by the reaction, rubbed his tiny paws together as he spoke.
"Your circuits are complex, with a great deal that needs tinkering, so I cannot hand you anything this instant. However, I do have spare units from the circuits Miss Jeong Jieun used. Spares, mind you — considerably inferior to what she wielded — but on the assumption that you would be drawing upon Miss Jeong Jieun's 'energy,' they should serve quite well."
"......"
Every gaze in the room turned to James.
"And ultimately — hmm — I shall see to it that you each receive a circuit with its tracking systems removed entirely."
"You seem to trust me."
"Hmm. Shall we say I trust magical girls?"
James answered as though he'd just heard a very good joke.
"No — yes. Better put: not magical girls as a whole, but you. The magical girl standing before me."
James looked up at Hayun as he said it.
"What the government intended to do once they got their hands on Miss Jeong Jieun — I imagine you can guess a little of it."
Hayun kept her mouth shut.
And glared at him.
But James, still utterly unafraid, pressed on.
"And I am the only one who can properly give shape to that girl's power. Do you intend to hand her over to the Federation's engineers? Or to the Company?"
"......"
"Yes — you, at the very least. You, who cherish Miss Jeong Jieun so dearly as a friend, could never give her up. Which is precisely why I cannot either. With me at her side, her position improves. And above all — who do you believe today's Miss Jeong Jieun trusts more? You, or me?"
To that, even Hayun had no answer.
She bit her lip.
"Well, there is no need to worry overly. I have my own ideas about how one survives out here. If you all cooperate, I will help you hold out a while longer."
Hayun considered for a moment, then looked at the magical girls.
Rose nodded at last. One by one, the others followed.
"Excellent."
Seeing James smile as he said it left Hayun feeling uneasy to her core — but no better option came to mind just then.