Chapter 28
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 28
Chapter Title: A Trip to the Mart
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"Do you know why people only judge by appearances?"
"Because having a shorty like me by your side would cause you trouble, dear..."
"Trouble? I'm proud of it."
"Liar. People only look at appearances anyway."
'Freak.'
'Dwarf.'
'Defective product.'
Words too bitter even for her to spit out.
A lifetime of enduring others' gazes.
And their scorn.
Old wounds.
Scabs not yet healed.
Tears welled up in her almond-colored eyes.
I squatted down.
Matched her eye level.
Gripped her small hand tighter.
"Elma."
"……."
"I must have worded it poorly and caused a misunderstanding. Sorry."
"Misunderstanding...?"
"Do you know why people only judge by appearances?"
"Why?"
"Because they're not smart enough to see inside."
Elma's eyes widened round.
"Elma has four PhDs, right? Youngest full professor and grand archmage engineer."
"Y-yeah?"
"And prettier than anyone, with more money too."
"Hmph! I won't deny it."
Her nose perked up just a bit.
It's working.
"It's because you're too outstanding, Elma. Staying up there so nobly."
"Huh?"
"So today, you're graciously lowering your gaze a little."
"Lowering it?"
"Yeah. To the world us ordinary commoners live in. Think of it like 'experiential learning' or field trip."
I wrapped her fearful heart in magnanimity.
Elma's expression shifted intriguingly.
Half intrigued, half convinced.
"Hmm... Well, even a noble, knowledgeable, respected, great, and smart professor like me experiencing commoners' lives wouldn't be bad."
"Right."
"Fine. For my husband's sake, I'll specially go with you."
Elma perked up her nose.
Her usual bluff.
But the hand I held was sweaty.
Cute stubbornness.
Dresser room.
Rustle. Rustle.
Elma was rummaging through the clothes graveyard.
Then whoosh, she pulled something out.
A black hoodie.
My shirt.
"Wear this."
"That's mine."
"I know. That's why."
Elma pulled the hoodie over her head.
"……."
Oversized fit.
Sleeves dangled well past her fingertips.
Hem dragged to her feet.
She pulled the hood down low.
Her face was hidden.
"How's it?"
"Too big."
"That's why it's good. Hides the body and face."
Elma sniffed, burying her nose in the collar.
"And it smells like you, dear. Feels like I'm protected."
She grinned cheekily.
The problem was her feet.
"Wear comfy shoes."
"Nonsense! Gotta top a meter at least!"
Again, those 15cm platform heels.
Esoteric, uncomfortable fashion.
But I couldn't break her stubbornness.
Dwarves, really.
Mart parking lot.
"Hold tight."
"Yes."
We walked hand in hand.
The romance didn't last.
Ground bumps.
15cm heels.
Dragging hoodie hem.
Wobble.
"Eh...?"
"Careful!"
Elma stumbled.
Her ankle nearly twisted; I barely caught her.
"Damn... Why's the ground like this! What kinda country is this!"
"Parking lots are all like that... The shoes are the issue."
"No! This is Korea's civil engineering problem!"
Blame game.
But at this rate, the mart tour ends next century.
Carry her?
'That'd ruin the concept too...?'
The whole point of matching eye levels for inspection.
Shopping'd be awkward too.
Look around.
Spot something perfect.
Shopping cart.
Rattle.
Pulled one out.
"Ride."
"...What?"
"Hard to walk. Take this."
Lifted Elma up.
"Hey! Put me down! Am I a kid?!"
"Palanquin."
"What palanquin has iron bars! Prisoner wagon!"
"Great view for scouting. Come on, hop in, Queen."
"Ugh! Queen again...!"
Sat the wriggling Elma in the basket.
Child seat? No way.
'Her butt'd get stuck.'
Considering her build, basket it is.
Plop.
"……."
Elma fit perfectly in the cart.
Like a giant stuffed doll for kids.
"Tch. No romance in you, dear."
Grumbled as she lifted her head.
Kneeled up, torso straight.
Her eye level shot up.
"Oh. Ooh..."
Almond eyes sparkled.
Looks good.
"Good view?"
"Hmm. Not... bad!"
Elma gripped the cart mesh, swinging her toes.
Seemed happy.
"Go! Sir Choi! Meat! Meat first!!"
"Yes, yes. Departing."
Food corner.
The hunt began.
"That! Hanwoo flower sirloin! Double plus!"
"Yes."
"That too! Samgyeopsal! Thick cut!"
"Yes."
"Duck! Fresh, not smoked!"
"Yes."
Elma directed; I loaded.
Thud. Plop.
Meat packs piled up.
Beef on knees.
Pork at sides.
Duck behind.
Elma started getting buried.
Inside the meat pack fortress.
She wore the world's happiest expression.
"Look at this beautiful marbling..."
Elma rubbed her cheek on the sirloin pack.
World's happiest face.
"Double plus is the best. Taste of capitalism."
That sight.
Like a golden goblin in a treasure vault.
Buried in meat instead of gold and jewels.
A gluttonous dwarf.
'Cute.'
Couldn't help but chuckle.
"Why laugh?"
"Nothing. Just nice to see."
"Hmph. Weird thoughts again? Like I'm a pig or something."
"Sharp intuition."
"What?! Really? Wanna die?"
"Not heavy?"
"No! Meat's weight is happiness's weight!"
Good she's happy.
Tasting corner front.
Sizzle.
Tteokgalbi grilling aroma.
"Welcome, try this. Tteokgalbi turned out great."
"Ah, yes."
Auntie handed a toothpick.
Then spotted Elma buried in the cart.
Hood hid her face.
Small frame, fidgety hands.
"Oh my. Daughter came too?"
"...?!"
Elma's head creaked around.
"...Daughter?"
Under the hood's shadow.
Eyes flashed.
"Auntie."
Low, gravelly voice.
"Your eyes okay?"
"Eh, yes?"
"How do I look like a daughter! This is my husba—!"
Elma tried to jump up.
Angry shouting imminent.
I shoved tteokgalbi into her mouth.
Shove.
"Mmph?!"
"Oh, eats well. So hungry, huh?"
Auntie smiled warmly.
Cold sweat down my back.
If I said here, 'This woman's actually my older professor wife,'
No one'd believe.
Get called crazy instead.
Of course, fully adult despite size.
Remove hoodie, might get 'kinda unique person.'
But she'd hate that.
Finally got her out; don't wanna hurt her.
...Can't break that iron will anyway.
"Mmf! Brmmph!"
"Sorry. She watches too many cartoons lately. Ha... haha...!"
Hastily pushed cart to flee.
Elma punched my arm with tiny fists.
Mouth stuffed with tteokgalbi.
"Mmph! (Gonna kill you!)"
"Bear it. Hood's the cause."
"Brmmph! (Pride hurt!)"
Clothing corner.
Elma chewed and swallowed, huffing.
Her gaze locked on one spot.
Kids' pajamas rack.
Pink bunny pajamas hung there.
Hood with long ears, round tail on butt.
"……."
Elma's eyes scanned the pajamas.
She wanted them.
"Buy that?"
"What? No! I'm not a brat!"
Elma jumped.
"Last time you wore the bear fine."
"Bear's different from bunny!"
Firm rejection.
"Bears are beasts! Forest rulers! Fits a dwarf's spirit!"
"And bunny?"
"Prey! Weakest thing! Noble mage like me wears that, dignity drops!"
What logic.
Still, eyes glued to bunny ears.
"Would be cute."
"Hmph. Don't need cute. Charisma's key."
Silently grabbed bunny pajamas.
Smallest size.
Thud.
Tossed into cart.
On her knees.
"Not buying!"
"Home only. Wanna see you in it."
"...Tch."
Elma pouted.
Slyly pulled pajamas closer.
Shoved under pork pack.
"If you really want, I'll wear it. Sometimes."
Corner of mouth twitched.
Cute as ever.
Household goods rack.
"Wait."
Elma yelled.
Stopped cart.
"What?"
"That."
Elma pointed.
Condom display.
Ultra-thin 0.01mm.
Strawberry flavor.
Studded.
Array of lusts.
"...Buy those?"
"Yeah. Need 'em."
"Too soon."
Try it, she'd get hurt.
She knew.
"Know. But can't suck fingers forever!"
Elma tried crawling out cart.
"Rubbing's fine! With these... feel different!"
She grunted over mesh.
Hoodie hem snagged.
Precarious 15cm heels too.
Wobble.
"Eh?!"
Slipped.
Pitching forward.
Thud.
My arm wrapped her body.
Small frame tucked right in.
Hood fell off.
Wide surprised eyes.
"Be careful."
"...Thanks."
Elma blushed.
Whoosh, yanked hood back on.
But dwarf stubbornness.
Hanging on my arm.
Finally reached out.
"This! Studded! Buying this!"
Grabbed most stimulating one.
"Put this on you... hehe."
Sly grin.
That's when.
"Hey, kid."
Voice from behind.
Mart employee.
"That's not a toy. Put it down?"
"……."
Silence.
Elma's hand trembled.
Under hood.
Bloodshot eyes flashed.
'Busted.'
"Bad to ask buy that. Put back..."
Employee reached for box.
Crunch.
Gripped harder.
Box dented.
"Hey."
Eerie low voice.
"Do I look like a kid to you?"
"Eh?"
"No eyes?! Do I look like a kid!"
Explosion.
Pent-up rage burst.
"Mine! For my husband! All night! With this! Gonna play with husband!! What's it to you!"
Shouting.
Eyes gathered.
Employee froze.
"Wha, girl what..."
"Not kid! ID?! Bitch! I'm a university professor!"
Elma tried throwing shoe.
Had to stop escalation.
Strip hoodie shatter pride,
Or keep on and I get cuffed.
"S-sorry!"
Chose flight.
Tucked Elma under arm.
Beast-roaring luggage.
Pushed cart.
"Put down! Gotta smash that punk's head!"
"Calm down! People watching!"
"Let 'em! Healthy adult buying condoms! My! Money! My! Buy!"
Rushed checkout.
Little professor under my arm.
Still clutched dented condom box.
Fingers white-knuckled.
'No way it'd pass quietly...'
I sighed, pulling out wallet.