Chapter 15
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: I'm Really a Pathetic Woman, Right?
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"I'm really a pathetic woman, aren't I?"
"I'm starving to death. I only got to eat two meals today."
Elma rolled up her sleeves.
A seriously stern expression.
She flung open the fridge.
"This'll do!"
A hefty slab of meat dangled from her tiny hand.
The size and shape straight out of a cartoon.
"Step aside, husband."
Elma drew her kitchen knife.
"No mistakes this time. I swear on my honor, I'll grill you the best steak ever."
She was clearly trying to make up for the morning fiasco.
But I grabbed her hand.
"Elma."
"Yeah?"
"Give that to me."
"Why? I should be the one cooking. That's a wife's duty..."
"Men grill the meat."
As firmly as I could.
"Huh?"
"That's how it is. You've seen it in movies, right?"
"R-Really?"
I flashed a grin.
"Yeah. It's a matter of a man's pride."
"Hmm...?"
Elma's eyes went wide.
Seemed surprised.
And not at all displeased.
"Is that how it works?"
"Yep. The really tasty stuff only comes out right when a man grills it. Just sit back and relax, Elma."
"Hmm..."
Elma started humming a little tune.
She obediently pulled out a stool by the kitchen island and sat down.
"Then I'll be looking forward to it. Your skills, husband."
She propped her chin on her hand and watched me.
Excited, her legs kicking in the air.
She was so cute I couldn't help but chuckle.
Alright.
With expectations that high, time to show off.
I had some solid skills from my solo living days.
Especially with meat.
Sizzle-!
I heated the pan.
Drizzled oil and laid on the meat.
"Whoa..."
Elma's eyes sparkled.
I melted some butter.
Basted as I cooked.
Added rosemary aroma.
Flipped carefully.
Evenly cooked through, but locked in the juices.
Whoosh!
A nice bit of flame show.
Elma clapped like a seal.
"Ooh! So cool!"
"It's hot, so stay back."
"Okay!"
Good listener.
Must be the meat.
"All done."
I plated it and brought it over.
Her almond-colored eyes followed the plate.
"Looks delicious..."
Elma gulped.
Her small hand gripped the knife tightly.
"Want me to cut it for you?"
"No! I'll cut it myself! The cutting's part of the fun!"
Elma started slicing with gusto.
Slice, slice, slice.
Poke.
She speared a piece and brought it to her mouth.
Nom.
"...!"
She chewed.
Her brows furrowed in concentration.
A stern expression.
Gulp.
"...How is it?"
I waited for the verdict.
Elma slowly opened her eyes.
"Genius."
"Pardon?"
"Husband, were you an oven in a past life?"
"No way, an oven? I'm a person."
Elma waved the knife in the air.
Like conducting an orchestra.
Her face was filled with emotion.
"This is unreal. It's on another level from what the golems make. Crispy outside, melt-in-your-mouth tender inside!"
"Glad you like it."
"Yeah! Your grasp of heat conduction is excellent! A+ in my class next semester!"
"Come on, don't grade me on grilling."
"No! A true magic engineer needs this level of understanding!"
Elma had forgotten the juice on her lips.
"Ahh~! Eat up, husband!"
She stabbed a big chunk and held it out.
"Here, ahh~."
"That's too big."
"A man should swallow this in one bite!"
I opened wide.
Her small hand shoved the meat in.
Delicious.
My skills, as expected.
But more than that.
"Delicious, right? Huh? Delicious?"
Those sparkling eyes asking.
That's the real side dish.
"Yeah. It's good."
"Hehe. I really picked a good husband."
Elma puffed up proudly.
"Let's drink!"
Elma had somehow pulled out a bottle of booze.
A clear bottle.
Amber liquid sloshed inside.
"What kind is it? Never seen it before."
"Eisenberg Southern Whiskey. Strong proof, but no hangover."
She filled the glasses to the brim.
A sharp alcohol scent, followed by sweet fragrance.
"Here you go, husband."
"I'm not great with booze."
"Gonna sleep sober? It's like our second wedding night..."
Elma smiled meaningfully.
Her cheeks slightly flushed.
I cautiously took the glass.
One sip.
"Ugh...!"
My throat burned.
I could track it down my esophagus.
"Good, right? One bottle costs five million won here."
"What? We can drink something that expensive?"
"Eh, not that pricey for me."
Elma refilled her own glass alone.
To the brim.
"And serving my precious husband—would cheap booze do?"
A coquettish smile.
She downed it in one go.
Like water. Gulp gulp.
"This booze hits the spot~"
Her eyes half-lidded lazily.
Freckle-dusted cheeks flushed hot.
"Husband."
"Yes."
"Come here."
She beckoned with her finger.
"Why?"
"Just wanna see you up close."
Elma gazed up at me languidly.
The booze, maybe.
A thick feminine scent wafted.
"You're so handsome, my husband."
"You're pretty drunk."
"Not drunk. Dead serious."
She stood, I sat.
She reached out.
Caressed my cheek.
Small, hot palm.
"A fine man like you, stuck with a runt like me."
Self-deprecating joke.
Still, a smile lingered on her lips.
"Lucky you. Hard to find goods this good."
"Haha. Yeah. I do have good taste in catches."
Elma wobbled onto my lap.
A weight I'd grown used to.
This time, heavier and hotter.
"Hold me."
Commanding, but spoiled.
I wrapped my arms around her waist.
Her small body fit perfectly in my embrace.
"So warm..."
Elma buried her face in my chest.
"Smells good too..."
She sniffed my scent.
"You smell good too, Elma."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Super sweet and nutty."
Wet forest scent.
And well-roasted nuts.
Her unique aroma.
"Kiss me."
Elma lifted her head.
Damp eyes.
Slightly parted lips.
I leaned down.
Mwah.
A light peck.
Elma seemed unsatisfied.
"Stay still."
She clung to my neck and hung on.
Rubbed lips, pushed in her tongue.
Slurp.
Sweet, boozy scent.
Whiskey aroma.
And Elma's.
Her small tongue swirled in my mouth.
Clumsy, but full effort.
"Mmm... Slurp..."
Her small hand gripped the back of my head.
A long kiss that stole my breath.
"Haa... Haa..."
Lips parted.
A string of saliva connected, then snapped.
Elma's face was beet red.
"Thanks for the meal."
She licked her lips and beamed.
"Now, bedtime."
"On the wolf, right?"
"Yeah. Delivery just arrived. Shipping's fast these days."
"Well, same-day delivery era."
She hopped down from my lap.
Stumbled.
"Whoa."
"Careful."
"Hehe. You'll catch me, husband."
She took my hand and led me.
"......"
I was speechless.
Shredded boxes and wrapping everywhere.
The wolf beast pelt spread on the floor.
That ferocious head.
Now fully dressed, it looked even more grotesque.
Pink sleep mask over the eyes.
Pacifier in the mouth.
And a sheer lace veil matching ours.
"Ahahaha!"
Elma rolled on the floor laughing.
"Hey! What the hell is that look! Ehehe!"
Drunk professor's true colors.
Too harsh on something already dead.
"There, not scary anymore, right?"
"...The scariness is gone, but now it's weirder."
"Yeah! Yeah! Gotta be a little weird to be cute!"
Elma patted the wolf's head, satisfied.
"This is our bed from now on."
Elma snapped her fingers.
[Switching to Sleep Mode]
The lights dimmed softly.
"Time to change into pajamas?"
Elma stared at me.
No way, not the sheer again...
"Something normal this time, okay?"
"Tch. No fun."
Thankfully, she handed me regular sleepwear.
...Couple bear pajamas weren't bad compared to sheer.
I was the brown bear.
Elma, the white bear.
Furry ones with hoods.
"Try it on."
"Won't it be hot in this weather?"
"Crank the AC! Winter hibernation bear concept!"
Couldn't argue with her stubbornness.
I changed.
"Kyaa! So cute!"
"......"
Me in the mirror.
A shaggy grizzly stood there.
"Husband looks just like a real bear! Perfect with your build!"
Elma poked my belly.
She was like a baby polar bear.
The hood made her adorable.
"Bedtime. Let's lie down."
Elma dove onto the wolf.
Plush fur pelt.
She rolled around and called me.
"Come here."
I lay beside her.
The spacious wolf pelt.
Room for more after us both.
"Really comfy."
"Right? Familiar's best."
"It was only one day."
"Eh, American kids assassinated three Mexican congressmen in one night? The gear they used was mine..."
"...Pretend I didn't hear that."
Feels like I'm learning things I shouldn't.
Soon Elma burrowed into my arms.
"Husband."
"Yes."
She pillowed her head on my arm, staring at the ceiling.
Mana stones in the ceiling twinkled like stars.
"What you said in the car earlier..."
"Which one?"
"That you'd keep nightmares away."
Her voice grew small.
"That still holds, right?"
"Of course. I keep my promises."
"...Thanks."
Elma turned to face me.
Drowsy eyes mixed with booze and sleep.
"Hold me. As tight as you can."
Her request.
I reached out.
Enveloped her small body.
Squeeze.
I applied pressure.
So she felt completely enclosed.
No gaps.
"Nice..."
Elma murmured.
"Feels like I'm in a cave. The safest, warmest cave in the world."
"A cave, huh."
"Yeah. My personal cave, just for me."
Her hand roamed my chest.
Slipped between buttons, fiddled with bare skin.
"Husband."
"Yes."
"...Wanna do it?"
Sudden question.
The little woman looked up.
Her eyes were wet.
"What about you, Elma?"
"Me too..."
She bit her lip.
A moment of hesitation.
"But..."
She trailed off.
Eyes welled up.
She pulled the hood down to hide.
"Sorry."
"For what?"
"Truth is... I'm still a little scared."
Her small hand brushed my crotch.
The heavy bulk.
Elma's shoulders twitched.
Hand jerked back in fright.
"I saw it this morning, when washing. Yours is... huge."
She clutched her lower belly.
Trim waist.
Wide hips.
Proper woman's curves.
Still so small.
So very small.
"My body's this tiny."
"......"
"How could I handle it? It'll tear me. My belly'll burst."
Elma sniffled.
Head hung low.
Shadow under the hood.
"I'm really a pathetic woman, aren't I?"
"Elma."
"A proper wife would do it no problem. Can't even properly serve my husband's one thing..."
A tear dropped.
Self-loathing.
Inferiority.
"If you run away like this... I'd deserve it. No complaints. I'm..."
Her voice trembled faintly.
I hugged her tighter.
"Don't say that. I'm not running."
"Liar... They say men love that stuff... Can't resist..."
"Where'd you read that?"
"Online..."
"Don't believe everything online. And..."
I placed a hand on her cheek.
"I said I'd wait till you're ready."
I wiped her eyes with my thumb.
"We're good like this."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. No need to force it."
Wet eyes looked up.
Relief, gratitude, lingering guilt mixed.
"Still, just sleeping feels like a waste, right?"
Sniff.
Elma sniffled, then tried to perk up.
"...?"
"Can't do full insertion, but other stuff's fine."