Chapter 11
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 11
Chapter Title: A Wife's Virtue
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"Husband, you eat first. Eating what's left is a wife's virtue."
"It's hot, so be careful."
"Elma should eat some too."
"Husband eats first, and the wife eats what's left. That's a wife's virtue."
Who even talks like that these days?
Elma stubbornly kept shoving the spoon toward me.
I opened my mouth.
A big mouthful of chunks came in.
A hearty flavor.
"……!"
I was shocked.
It was delicious.
The rough chopping made it look messy.
Even so, the taste was pure bliss.
Rich meaty aroma blended with unfamiliar spices.
And the tender, melt-in-your-mouth texture.
"How is it? Delicious?"
Elma's eyes sparkled as she asked.
Her lips quivered with anticipation.
"Yeah. It's insanely good. You surprised me."
"Hmph. Of course it is. Who do you think I am?"
She snorted proudly.
Along with a sigh of relief.
"Eat more. There's plenty."
She relentlessly flew spoonfuls of stew into my mouth.
Like she was determined to empty the whole pot.
"Hey, Elma. You should eat some too now. Weren't you starving?"
"Hmm. Should I?"
Only then did she finally bring the spoon to her own mouth.
The same spoon she'd been feeding me with.
A big gulp.
"Haa…."
A blissful expression.
And then the frenzy began.
Chomp chomp. Slurp slurp.
Where had that dutiful housewife act gone?
She even started burying her nose in the pot and inhaling it.
Her tiny mouth never stopped moving.
Her cheeks puffed out like they might burst.
"Eat slower. You'll choke."
"Mmm! Tasty!"
Broth smeared all over her mouth.
Brown sauce dripping down her chin.
It splattered onto her pale neck and apron.
"You've got some on you."
"Don't worry about it! I can wipe it off!"
She didn't seem like she planned to.
"Mmm… so meaty… slurp. Slurp."
Like a starving beast.
I pulled out a tissue and wiped the corner of her mouth.
"Hold still for a sec. You're dropping it everywhere."
"Mmph."
Even as I wiped, she didn't stop shoveling.
She seemed annoyed by my touch but didn't pull away.
If anything, she tilted her head up a bit to make it easier.
"Husband nags a lot."
"Whose fault is that?"
"Save the lovers' quarrels for bed later. We're eating now."
Always got a comeback.
I chuckled and reached out.
Picked the bit of meat off her cheek and ate it.
"Huh?"
Elma's face flushed bright red.
"W-what did you just do?"
"Meat. It'd be a waste."
"……Pervert."
She muttered under her breath.
But she didn't seem to hate it.
If anything, her spoon moved even faster.
Like she was channeling her embarrassment into hunger.
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Meal over.
The huge pot lay empty.
Where did all that meat go? A mystery…
Not really.
Elma's belly was sticking out round and full.
"Burp-!"
A mighty belch.
Or as she called it, mana reflux.
Once I laughed about it, now she let them rip without shame.
"That hit the spot."
Elma patted her belly contentedly.
"I'll clean up. You rest."
I stood to gather the dishes.
But Elma jumped up.
"No way! Leave it!"
"Huh?"
"Washing up is my job too! Men don't belong in the kitchen!"
Elma tried to snatch the dishes from my hands.
"You cooked already. I can't ask you to do dishes too. That'd be rude."
"It's fine."
"And you're stuffed. It'll be hard to move."
"This is nothing. You calling me weak?"
Her eyes sharpened fiercely.
Stubborn as ever.
She didn't want a blemish on her image of the 'perfect wife.'
Pushing back would just hurt her pride.
"Alright. Then I'll leave it to you."
"Yeah. Go watch TV. I'll bring some fruit."
Elma briskly gathered the dishes.
Stacking them high.
It looked precarious.
"Careful. That's heavy."
"Hmph. You think dwarf strength is… Kyaa?!"
Before she finished.
Her foot slipped.
Wobble.
The dishes lost balance.
"Wha?!"
Crash-.
Smash! Shatter!
A deafening explosion of sound.
The floor covered in glass shards.
"……."
"……."
Silence.
Shattered plates.
Fragments everywhere.
And Elma standing there dazed.
Her shoulders twitched.
"Elma? You okay? Hurt anywhere?!"
I rushed over.
Tried to get to her.
"Stay back!!"
Elma screamed.
A shrill shriek.
"Stay back…."
She hung her head low.
Her shoulders began to tremble finely.
"It's all broken…."
Her voice was thick with tears.
"Dang… I treasured those… I brought them out for the first time to make you breakfast, Husband…."
Drip. Drip.
Tears fell.
Splashing onto the glass shards.
"Why am I such a mess?"
Self-reproach.
Despair.
Self-loathing.
"The stew was all meat, no veggies… I can't even chop properly…."
She sniffled hard.
"Truth is, I can't cook. Never learned."
"……."
"I always ate what the golems made. Never held a knife. Cleaning, laundry—all machines."
Her confession poured out.
"But… I wanted to do it well anyway."
She looked up at me with reddened eyes.
Her freckled face was tear-streaked.
"I wanted to be a good wife for you, Husband…."
Ah, so that's it.
The youngest professor.
Genius magic engineer.
The one who always looked down on others.
With me, she wanted to be a 'normal, good wife.'
That's why she'd gripped the knife clumsily, sweated buckets over the pot.
"Embarrassing… I feel so stupid…."
Elma started to slump to the floor.
Glass shards everywhere.
"Careful!"
I leaped into the debris field.
Crunch.
Something crunched underfoot, but I ignored it.
Swept her up into my arms.
"H-Husband? You'll get hurt!"
"I'm fine."
I set her on the counter.
Cradled her tear-messy face in both hands.
"Elma. Look at me."
"No… I look ugly right now…."
She tried to turn away.
I gently stroked her cheek.
As softly as I could.
"You don't look ugly. You're gorgeous."
"Liar…."
"It's true. Do you know how pretty you looked cooking earlier?"
I wiped her eyes with my thumbs.
"Sweating over the ladle, jumping at the flying carrot bits."
"……You're teasing me."
"No. It was adorable."
"Really…?"
"Yes. Anyone would say you were the perfect new bride."
Elma's face lit up bright red.
I meant every word.
"And the stew was really good. Best thing I've ever eaten."
"……It was just meat."
"That's why I loved it. I like meat."
Elma's eyes wavered.
The tears seemed to ease a bit.
"But the plates are all smashed…."
"We can buy more. You've got plenty of money."
"That's true…?"
"And as long as you're not hurt, it's fine. You getting hurt would be worse."
I pulled her into a tight hug.
Her small body fit perfectly in my arms.
Steady heartbeat.
Warm and cozy.
"Don't try so hard."
I patted her back.
"You don't have to be perfect. It's okay to be clumsy. We're just starting out."
"……."
"We'll learn together. Cooking, dishes, cleaning. It'll come quick with two of us."
Elma clutched my shirt tight.
A mumble from my chest.
"……You'll do it with me?"
"Of course. We signed up for a lifetime together."
I held up my left hand.
The tattoo on my ring finger glowed faintly.
"……Mmph."
Elma nodded against my chest.
A sniffle.
"Thanks… Husband."
A savory scent wafted up.
Sweet, tear-soaked fragrance.
"There, all better now."
I peeled her away.
Her eyes were puffy and red.
But her expression looked much more at ease.
"We'll do dishes together. I'll rinse, you cheer me on."
"Cheer…??"
"That's what support is."
"……Okay."
Elma beamed.
Her tear-bright smile was radiant.
"Oh, first though."
Elma snapped her fingers.
Snap.
[Cleaning Mode Activated]
[Target: High-Risk Debris Removal]
Whirr-.
Golem vacuums rolled in like a herd.
They swiftly sucked up the floor debris.
"Should've done that sooner."
"Yeah."
We burst out laughing at each other.
"Alright, let's finish up."
I scooped her up again and headed to the sink.
Elma hung around my neck, humming a tune.
"Husband."
"Yeah."
"After dishes…."
She whispered in my ear.
Hot breath.
"Wanna go bed shopping?"
"Online?"
"No. In-store."
"Sure. Let's do it."
It was Saturday.
Plenty of time.
"Hehe."
Elma grinned at my answer.
"Gotta check 'em out in person. Test the performance?"
Her hand trailed down my chest.
Still in her naked-apron getup.
She winked seductively.
"See if it's big enough for us to roll around hugging."
My heart thudded.
Dishes suddenly seemed secondary.
"Let's hurry with these dishes."
Elma grinned wide at my reply.
Newlyweds are the best.
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"Ready to go? Get dressed first."
Dishes done.
Elma 'helped' by hanging off me, moving plates to the drying rack.
Needless to say, total mess—clattering drops galore.
I had to restack them over and over.
Her little hands working so hard.
Too cute to mind.
Aware or not of my thoughts.
Elma shook off her wet hands, looking satisfied.
"Come on, let's go see beds."
She tugged my hand.
Quick, eager steps.
Humming away happily.
Slap, slap.
That's when it happened.
A weird sound from the floor.
Like stepping in something sticky.
"Hm?"
Elma stopped.
Looked down.
"……Husband."
"Yeah?"
"Your foot."
"My foot?"
My gaze followed down.
Footprints smeared along our path.
Bright red.
Blood.
"Huh?"
I lifted my sole.
A glass shard stuck right in.
From when I rushed in to save her earlier.
Luckily shallow, not dug deep.
"Just a little cut. No big deal…."
As I casually went to pull it out.
"Kyaaaaah!!"
A piercing scream.
Thought my eardrums burst.
"Blood! Blood! Husband's foot is bleeding!!"
Elma's face went ashen.
Like my leg had been amputated.
Her almond eyes shook wildly.
"What do we do! What do we do!!"
She flailed, grabbing my waist.
"Sit! Here! Hurry! This is bad!"
"No, Elma. It's just a scrape…."
"Quiet! Patients don't talk!"
She forced me onto the sofa.
Then pointed wildly at the air.
"Hey! Tin cans! What are you doing?! Get the first aid kit! No, surgical tools! No, defibrillator! Bring everything!!"
[Emergency Situation Occurred]
[Code Red]
The golems blared sirens and scrambled chaotically.
The living room turned ER in seconds.
"Calm down, Elma. It's just one glass shard."
"Shh! What if you get tetanus?! Or sepsis and your leg rots?! Gangrene?!"
Elma flattened herself on the floor.
Lifted my foot with both hands.
Her hands trembled violently.
"Oh god…."
Her voice choked up.
"Because of me… stupid me…."
Husband hurt because of my dumb mistake.
Deep guilt and self-loathing.
Mixed with sorrow.
"I'm really fine."
"Hold still. I'll make it not hurt."
Whirr-
A small golem propped up my calf.
Click! Click!
Surgical lights blazed on.
Blindingly bright.