The Star Wars Strategy
A familiar nickname welcomed me on the Fast Food Gallery. "War Correspondent." I had no idea how they dug up their info, but this Fixed Nick was famous for posting high-quality intelligence. Especially...
"When it comes to the war."
They felt like a fantasy world's military beat reporter. Or maybe, true to their name, they were a real war correspondent dodging bullets on the front lines to post updates for the community.
"So what the hell is a Holy War, you weebs?"
Just like the young demons scratching their heads in the comments, I didn't know much about it either. I knew it was a different kind of war declaration than the usual War of Humans and Demons, and that some Goddess was appealing to humanity to unite. Other than that, I was clueless.
"Still, those Skeleton grandpas seem to know their stuff."
Since they'd lived for ages, they probably had more first-hand experience than a youngster like me. So, I decided to ask nicely.
"The front line is going to collapse?"
With the priests and paladins of the Goddess Cult joining the fray, the tide of war would do a complete 180.
"Wait, isn't that bad?"
What I wanted was a tense, balanced 50-50 stalemate. Not an overwhelming victory for the Hum-Elf-Dwarf alliance and the total annihilation of the Demon Realm.
I quickly backed out to the main gallery page.
It was already a complete shitshow.
"What do you mean, refuge? Just eat your burgers and pizzas and browse the gallery in peace."
The post rate had plummeted. Hum-Elf-Dwarf trolls were starting to run rampant, but the Sub-Mods' quick actions shut them down instantly. Still, the panic that had begun to spread was rippling out control.
"What do they mean, 'take care of it'?"
Intervene in the war?
"I have absolutely no intention of doing that."
I was already busy enough rolling points, managing the gallery, and catching up on the Concept Posts. Honestly, shouldn't the war be handled by the experts? Seeing how they successfully pulled off the counter-offensive, the Demon King's army wasn't completely incompetent.
"Argh, I said I'm not!"
"No." Please, don't do that...
The announcement post I wrote to clarify that I wouldn't intervene in the war and to urge them to have some sense of urgency was filled with nothing but optimistic comments.
If this kind of talk dragged on, the lax discipline of the Demon King's army would never be corrected. Therefore.
"I need to change the topic."
"How are you going to do that?"
"A 50% discount on burgers, pizza, and cola."
Calling it a 50% discount was just a fancy way of saying I was selling them at cost. But if I increased the supply, everyone would be able to eat. Wouldn't that naturally cool down the war talk?
So, I supplied double the quantity at half the price in the shop. However.
They were completely distorting my intentions now.
"Those little shits."
While I was pondering how to deal with them...
"Yaaawn!"
"What was that?"
Turning my head, I saw Liv, who had just finished her sixth consecutive viewing of WALL-E on the 'Watch Party' tab that Reina had left open, stretching her arms.
"Head Mod, Head Mod."
"Yeah?"
"Are there any other movies? Since I keep watching the same one, I think I'm starting to memorize all the lines."
"Ah, right. Movies."
"Huh?"
Last time, the response had been absolutely explosive. Therefore.
"Let's draw their attention with a new movie."
That would put a lid on this exhausting, ridiculous "The Head Mod will handle everything" rumor.
With that in mind, I browsed the Point Shop.
I looked for a franchise movie that was a series, widely known as a masterpiece, and had a whopping six installments, ensuring a very long viewing time.
<Movie/Sci-Fi>
Star Wars Series
I immediately purchased Episodes 1 to 6, the Clone Wars series, and a few spin-offs.
If anyone asked where Episodes 7, 8, and 9 went, I was fully prepared to bark, "Cut the crap!"
I didn't deal with such unsanctioned garbage.
Anyway, I bought them on the spot, bundled Episodes 1-6, the Clone Wars, and the spin-offs into three separate posts, uploaded them, and wrote a brief announcement telling everyone to go watch. Then.
"For a moment, the gallery froze."
It worked.
"Phew~ Finally free from that exhausting topic."
Deciding to watch a bit myself after a long time, I entered the 'Watch Party' tab and clicked on Star Wars.
"Ooh!"
Liv's eyes sparkled as she clung tightly to my side. With the trading frequency on the Exchange dropping drastically, Reina also found some breathing room and approached my side.
"Popcorn?"
"I'd love some!"
"Great."
With popcorn and cola in both hands, the movie began alongside its grand, sweeping theme song.
Meanwhile, at the Demon King's Army Central Front Command.
These guys were long-time gallery addicts who active as Fixed Nicks. However, because they never revealed their real identities on the gallery, they were only known as pathetic, jobless gallery idiots 1, 2, and 3.
Using that anonymity, they had subtly asked the Head Mod, "How do you plan to exert your efforts to save the Demon Realm this time?" But the response they got was:
[I don't know anything about the war~]
"He's playing dumb again."
"Indeed. If he had told us in advance, we could have efficiently braced for the impact and prepared to counter-attack."
"Spreading information in an open place like the gallery is foolish. The Head Mod must have his own plan."
The staff officers agreed.
"Perhaps he is testing us."
"A test? What kind of test?"
"What's coming this time is the human empire's Holy War. It's a threat on a completely different level than before, so what kind of test could..."
"Precisely because it is so dangerous, he wants us to desperately search for his true meaning. Actually, I can see a bit of it already."
As one staff officer boasted, the others, feeling competitive, opened the gallery to re-read the announcement. And then.
"Oh, I see it!"
"I see it, I see it! The hidden meaning the Head Mod left in the announcement!"
Even though the author of the post hadn't hidden a single thing, people claiming to have found it cropped up one after another. The Legion Commander also nodded slowly.
"Do you see it now?"
"C-Commander?"
"As expected, you found it first, sir!"
"Yes. First of all, the Head Mod received a peace proposal from the Emperor of the human empire last time. He flatly rejected it through a gallery announcement. Therefore, it must be difficult for him to openly lend us a hand this time."
The staff officers nodded vigorously in agreement.
"First, the Head Mod publicly stated he wouldn't intervene, acting as if he knew nothing. But what did he do right after? He released fast food at half price, showing his determination to feed the gallery users well."
"He wants us to feed our soldiers well and let them rest in preparation for the upcoming battle!"
"Oh!"
The Legion Commander smirked. His expression said there was still more.
"And then, the Head Mod changed the movie in the 'Watch Party' tab. Surely, there must be a deep meaning hidden within it?"
"Of course! Your Excellency truly possesses profound foresight!"
"Hahaha! You guys aren't half bad either!"
"Then we must watch the movie immediately! We will analyze it thoroughly as we watch!"
Showering each other with compliments, the Legion Commander and his staff officers opened the gallery and began watching Star Wars together. A movie whose very title was strategic, Star Wars, which surely contained all of the Head Mod's wisdom and tactical genius.
About two weeks passed.
The War Correspondent continued to post real-time updates. While feeling slightly anxious, I was also looking for a way to help without drawing attention. After all, if the front line collapsed, the risk of our house being discovered by the enemy would skyrocket. If that happened, Liv might be taken away again.
'I can't let that happen.'
Knowing how much she had suffered there, that was the one thing I wanted to prevent at all costs. So, I was constantly checking the gallery.
"Oh, NSFW art... Wait, what the hell is this?"
Something, something very unusual was happening.