Fast Food and Tactical Traps

Releasing a massive batch of pizzas and burgers into the shop had triggered an incredibly enthusiastic response.

Even the Ancient Demon God, who usually showed zero interest in anything other than fried chicken, was so thoroughly won over by the pizza that she kept sending me messages praising its taste.

Naturally, the regular forum-dwellers—the Mabung-is—began clamoring for pizza and burgers in unison. Pizza seemed to have a slight lead in popularity.

"Stacking factionalism on top of factionalism."

The petty, narrow-minded battle between Sausage Bread and Bulgogi Burger had evolved into a Three Kingdoms of Fast Food once Pizza joined the fray. They say three is the most stable shape, don't they? Once the food war split into three factions, the drama didn't burn as wildly as before.

"Thank goodness."

Basking in the peaceful atmosphere, I closed the gallery window and turned my gaze toward the sofa.

"Kooo—"

Liv, who had single-handedly devoured roughly ten whole pizzas and emptied three large bottles of cola, was sleeping peacefully. Reina, who was giving Liv a lap pillow, was busy managing the Exchange.

I opened the gallery to browse the trending posts, but a few bizarre titles caught my eye.

What the hell is wrong with these guys?

Smiling) How to use fast food [320]

Curious to see what kind of madness they had cooked up this time, I quickly clicked on the posts.

"What."

Thanks to the forum-dwellers—whose sheer cunning and adaptability would put any Magic Tower wizard to shame—the pizzas and burgers I had released in the shop were being used as traps to hunt enemy scouts.

There is an old saying: don't play with your food. That probably holds true in any world, unless it's a place where food is so abundant it rots in the streets.

"And it's not like I sold them cheap, either."

A thirty-point pizza went for sixty copper coins. Honestly, that was a steep price for commoners. Yet our crazy forum-dwellers were boldly using them to play mind games with the Hum-Elf-Dwarves.

"Seriously, are they out of their minds?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at the sheer absurdity of it all. But then...

"Head Mod, shh!"

Since Liv was sleeping right next to me, I had to retreat to my room on the second floor, close the door, and laugh in private.

Meanwhile, within the Imperial leadership, which had just received reports on the current situation...

"What on earth is going on right before the Holy War?!"

The furious Emperor roared, demanding a full investigation.

The Allied camp on the front lines was on the verge of collapse.

They had been suffering from severe supply issues, especially after losing the Hero. The long-neglected transport convoys scrambled into action, but the food that reached the front lines in time was less than half of what was required.

Amidst the gloom, a single piece of good news arrived: the Crown Prince's coup had succeeded, and the incompetent Emperor had been imprisoned.

The morale of the Allied forces temporarily soared. The commanders rallied the retreating soldiers, established fortifications, and managed to halt the advance of the Demon King's army.

However, when the Holy War was declared shortly after, soldiers weary of the endless conflict began to desert.

To make matters worse, when the Head Mod flatly rejected the new Emperor's peace proposal and subjected him to a massive insult, the briefly restored morale plummeted straight to rock bottom.

"We cannot go on like this!"

"Everyone will desert before we even fight!"

Driven to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the edge, the Imperial Army pushed forward with their operations despite their strained state, desperate to prevent desertion and boost morale.

"Additional rations will be distributed to soldiers who volunteer for the vanguard."

It was a rather petty measure—promising an extra meal to those who fought despite the severe shortages—but the starving soldiers had no choice but to take up arms just to fill their bellies.

Yet, during their reconnaissance mission, what they encountered was...

"Chomp, chew. Thish is delicious!"

"The Head Mod's food is truly amazing."

"Right? Next time, you guys buy some too."

"Yes!!!"

The Imperial soldiers found the Demon King's army eating far better than they ever could.

The sense of relative deprivation was devastating.

They were risking their lives on a forced recon mission just to get one more bowl of watery gruel, while the enemy could buy mouthwatering food with a single click on the gallery.

Some soldiers approached the enemy as if possessed and were captured on the spot. Others were spotted and caught while poking their heads out just to catch a whiff of the aroma. There were even those who fell into pit traps trying to eat leftover pizza they assumed the enemy had abandoned.

"Urgh!"

"P-please, just one bite!"

Generous demons would sometimes hand over a slice of pizza if begged. The human prisoners who tasted it fell into such ecstasy that they disarmed themselves without any resistance.

This wasn't just a problem for the humans. The elves and dwarves, whose supply lines had also deteriorated, found it equally impossible to resist the temptation of pizza and burgers. Similar numbers of them were captured.

On the day the Head Mod released pizza and burgers, the Hum-Elf-Dwarf Allied Forces lost even more of their already depleted troops.

"Our front line is too thin. We cannot hold like this."

"Are you saying you're withdrawing your troops?"

"Yes. We cannot fully trust the humans to cover our backs."

"What? Typical pointy-eared pests! The Imperial Army does not betray first! Even back in Archeinia, because you guys retreated...!"

"Haha, brothers, let us not fight among ourselves!"

"Who is your brother, you shorty?!"

"...How dare these vulgar races!!!"

The loss of troops made everyone extremely sensitive, and their mutual animosity only deepened.

Hearing of all these developments, Emperor Gideon V...

"Sigh..."

He completely shattered the box labeled 'Peace with the Head Mod' that he had kept tucked away in a corner of his heart.

The moderates who had stood by him since his days as the Crown Prince also lost their footing. And rising to the forefront were the Saintess of the Goddess Cult and the hardliners.

"By now, everyone must know. As the Goddess declared, the Head Mod and the Demon Realm must face divine judgment!"

"Indeed! They must wash away the sin of insulting the Empire with their blood!"

"Your Majesty, this humble servant will accelerate the Allied forces' war preparations!"

"...Do so."

The Ared Empire threw itself into preparing for the Holy War that would unite all of humanity.

The Emperor closed his eyes tightly.

'Head Mod, if you insist on seeing blood, we will do our absolute best.'

Hardening his resolve, he glared at the northern sky where the Head Mod would be.

"Eat this."

"What is this?"

"A piping hot new item from the Gallery Shop."

The Imperial Guard wizard handed over a neatly wrapped Double Bulgogi Burger.

"How did you get this? I heard new items sell out instantly."

"Hahaha! Who do you think I am? I'm Alteman, senior. Alteman, who browses the gallery even while on duty."

"Is that something to be proud of?!"

As the senior clenched his fist, the wizard opened his subspace with a sly grin. Piping hot pizzas and burgers slid out of it one after another, and the senior's fist slowly lowered.

"I bought them in advance and put them in a subspace with time-stop magic. That way, they stay as hot as if they were just bought."

"You never do the magic research you're supposed to do, but you're always quick-witted with this kind of stuff. Well, there's no sign of the fugitive, so let's eat. Set up a few sentries and tell everyone to gather."

"Yes!"

The Imperial Guard was deployed along the main path leading to Dun Grave, the territory of the undead. They had been dispatched to capture the Lich Master, an Elder of the Demon Realm who had managed to escape the encirclement.

Today, just like yesterday, they were killing time looking out at the uneventful wasteland. But just as they were smiling and about to dig into the new items their junior had so thoughtfully procured from the Gallery Shop...

A chilling pair of eyes glared at them from afar.

'Good, dinner time has started.'

It was the Lich Master.

Now that the Imperial Guard's vigilance was relaxed, this was his only chance to slip into his stronghold, Dun Grave. He moved stealthily through the forest, searching for a gap, and finally found a suitable breakthrough point.

He calmly began to gather his mana.

"Lich Master Sevruks."

"!"

Someone spoke from right behind him.

"I think you have the wrong person. I am no such grand figure."

"Cut the bullshit, Sevruks. Are you going to deny it even after seeing this?"

The man drew the dark red greatsword from his back and pointed it at the Lich Master. The eye embedded in the exact center of the greatsword rolled restlessly.

"...The Greatsword of Fresh Blood? You were supposed to be dead!"

*Whoosh! Slash!*

Before Lich Master Sevruks, a master of silent casting, could even stretch out his mana-focused hand, the man's crimson greatsword swept through the forest, leaving a long, bloody trail in its wake.

And then...

*Rumble!!!*

The Lich Master's entire body was shredded along with the surrounding forest, as if being logged.

"I've been waiting for you to leave Kronendike."

Pulling back the tattered robe and clearing away the skeletal remains, the Life Vessel he had been holding so dearly was revealed. The man struck down without hesitation, shattering the Life Vessel.

"Cough! I-I cannot die like this..."

"This is the retribution for blocking the unification of the Demon Realm and sacrificing countless lives, Sevruks."

The man casually brushed back his long hair and looked up at the sky. A faint moonlight was reflected in his hollow eyes. He chuckled and pulled out a communication crystal from his chest.

A gentle, soft woman's voice drifted from it.

-Darling~ How did it go~?

"I just finished."

-It's a good thing I called a bit late~ I actually visited home recently~

"Home? Is our boy doing well?"

-Of course~ If you get the chance, you should show your face too~ The house is completely renovated~

What could that mean? Since his wife always said somewhat eccentric things, the man just went along with it.

"Right, I should visit soon. How about you?"

-I took care of it~ But I think I'll watch a bit longer before I leave~

"Okay, I have to go now. I'm hanging up."

-Okay~

The man put away the crystal and walked away.

A loud noise had occurred, prompting the Imperial Guard members to rush over late, but...

"This is..."

All they found were the brutally mangled remains of the Lich Master.

The next day.

Waking up refreshed after a good night's sleep, I checked the gallery.

"What the hell is this about now?"

I found a rather baffling Concept Post.