Chapter 98
Chapter 98
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 98
Chapter Title: Breaking News) Kim Taeyang Revived;; This Bastard Broke Out of His Coffin;
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Coming back to life had left me ravenously hungry.
Wasn't that only natural?
It had taken a full day and twelve hours just to resurrect.
I returned to the funeral home and dug into a bowl of spicy beef stew.
"Hey! This is pretty damn good!! Approved as funeral grub for this body!!"
Eating spicy beef stew at my own funeral.
I never imagined something like this could happen.
"Sir, eat slowly. You'll get indigestion."
"This body's tough as nails—no indigestion for me. Shut it."
"Taeyang, want a shot? Or a drink?"
"Water's fine."
Seol Harin, Lena, and the rest of the executive sows gathered around me.
Seeing them all in black mourning clothes felt strangely off.
Behind them, the mourners stared at me.
"He really came back to life..."
"Maybe the death was a hoax?"
"But we all saw it. Kim Taeyang was really dead..."
They seemed fascinated by my return from the grave.
For some reason, I felt like a monkey in a zoo, and the food wasn't going down easy.
No, scratch that—I'd already polished off a full bowl.
"Urp."
Not even his stomach had any shame.
That was Kim Taeyang...
"How exactly did you come back?"
"Yeah, Taeyang. Tell us."
"You're not going anywhere again, right? You're fully alive now?"
The heroines still looked anxious.
Well, death wasn't exactly a minor event.
But explaining it was a hassle!
I was about to brush it off vaguely when I spotted the condolence money box.
"Kukuku. Time to test you sows' consciences."
"Our consciences?"
It was Kim Taeyang's impulse that made me open the condolence box.
Not my will, or so I'd say.
But once I saw the envelopes, curiosity got the better of me.
Who had put in the biggest amount?
Surely Seol Harin, the chaebol third-gen and top candidate for main wife?
"Hey, sow! What's this?! Where's your envelope?!!"
Seol Harin shot back shamelessly, as if it were obvious.
"I didn't give any. You died while I was still just the candidate sow, so now I'm the main wife by default. I'm on the managing side, not the paying side."
"Hey! Candidate or not, you're still just a sow!!"
"Then why'd you go and die on me?"
What a brazen sow she was!
And Seol Harin wasn't the only one who'd skipped the condolence money.
"Who decided they didn't have to pay? Managing the cash was my job. I'd have ended up as main wife anyway."
Lena, eyeing the main wife spot, hadn't chipped in either.
I'd just been messing around, but somehow it felt like it'd only hurt...
Then Kuma proudly thrust her envelope forward.
"Hey! Check mine! Bet I gave the most!"
That's my loyal girl, Kuma!
I trusted you!
Heart swelling with anticipation, I opened it.
Inside was 31,000 won.
"Hey...? 31,000 won...?"
"Usually it's 30,000, right? So I added 1,000 extra! You and I are special friends, Kim Taeyang!"
"......"
Kuma, this girl wasn't kidding.
She genuinely thought 31,000 won was a big contribution.
Eh, whatever. Let it slide.
Kuma's always been an idiot anyway.
"Urp! Mini sow's turn! Less than the Raider sow, and you're done for!!"
I tore open the envelope with Cloé's name.
Nothing inside.
No money.
"Forgot to put it in... If you'd stayed dead and I met you again, you'd have chewed me out big time...♡"
Even after death, chasing maso situations by skipping the cash?
Quite the creative maso sow...
At this point, I suspected they were just stingy, but I let it go.
Because Seol Ha-jeong was smirking confidently as she handed over her envelope...!
"Taeyang, looks like Kuma and I are the only ones who showed true heart."
"Big sis sow. Can I trust you?"
"Don't get your hopes up. Just tossed in one light big bill."
As expected of Seol Ha-jeong!
True to her conglomerate eldest daughter roots, she'd gone big!
Sure enough, inside the envelope—a 1 million won check...!
No, a 1 million won currency exchange voucher?!
What the hell...?
"Figured you'd need it in hell."
"Hey! You're loaded too—why so cheap?!!"
"Mom cut my allowance. I'm broke now. Hehe. Oh, mind if I grab a few leftover drinks?"
"......"
Seol Harin, Lena, Cloé: 0 won.
Kuma: 31,000 won.
Seol Ha-jeong: Paper pretending to be 1 million.
All sows combined: 31,000 won...?
I must've lived my life wrong...
I was done joking and about to leave the hall when Michaela approached.
She snatched her envelope from the box.
"Kim Taeyang, I gave 300,000 won."
Oh.
Affinity skyrockets!
Main wife material!!
"Hey hey! Vomiting sow!! Full of camaraderie?!!"
"Of course I'll take it back. Since you revived."
Main wife status revoked.
Not even worthy of concubine.
Mika tucked the envelope into her inner pocket and continued.
"By the way, did you really meet the angels, Kim Taeyang?"
If anything, Hades was more devil than angel.
Different mythologies anyway—doesn't apply.
I could've just told the truth.
Satisfy the heroines' curiosity, escape the mortals' nagging questions.
But a secret weapon stays secret to be a killer move.
Leaving resurrection a mystery would help more down the line.
"Kukuku. Did you tell the girls why you went gal?"
"Y-You're blackmailing me with that?! We were comrades!"
"Hey. I haven't said a word yet? Urp!"
I poked Mika's navel over her clothes.
Sure enough, a huge navel piercing.
"Ooh...?!"
I tugged it hard, and she shuddered, grabbing my wrist.
"Why haven't you taken it off? Huh? Don't tell me you like this gal styling?"
"N-No matter how I dress... what does it matter to you?"
"Virgin playing slut? Hilarious. Won't help anyway. I'll never stick it in you."
"......"
Sexual harassment to shoo her off naturally, but Mika glared at me with furious fox eyes for a while.
"I know all about gaslighting! Trying to tear down my self-esteem like that! Think I'll fall for it so easily?! You lowlife...!"
"Hah...?"
"Of course, I'm grateful you saved my life in the dungeon! You must be born with angelic qualities! From now on, restrain your lewd acts and repent! Goodbye!"
Mika hurried off like she had urgent business.
She'd yelled, but acknowledged what deserved it...
Decent personality for a fanatic cultist.
"Ah, son...?!"
Out of the lounge came my father, Kim Tae-gun.
For some reason, he was zipping up his shorts as he rushed to me.
"Hey hey!!! How'd you come back to life?!!!!"
"Dad!!! Zip up properly before hugging!!!"
Kim Tae-gun didn't care.
Hugging a muscled middle-aged dude...
Thought it'd annoy me, but honestly? Not bad.
His embrace felt warm somehow...!
Fatherly love, I guess?
Warmed a corner of my heart.
Until the gorgeous-bodied women emerged from the lounge.
"Hah? Old man. Who's that woman?"
"Ah—my girlfriend."
"Then her?"
"Ah—your new mom."
"Her too?"
"Hah? You think? That bitch is a pet dog...!"
Soon three women clung to Kim Tae-gun.
"All came to mourn my son's death? But he's alive now... party time...!!!"
"Kyaa! Sounds good!"
"Boss~ I'll mix the beer and makgeolli!"
So, he'd brought women to his son's funeral, banged them in the lounge?
And now that I'm alive, funeral's off—party on...?
Hmm.
Truly a madman.
Kim Tae-gun was definitely a villain.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ The news of Kim Taeyang's revival first spread through Ark Gallery.
Students at the funeral live-streamed updates.
📰 Breaking News -Breaking News) Kim Taeyang Revived;; This bastard broke out of his coffin; — Anon Listen up, you retarded fuck. There's dripping on the living and dripping on the dead—wtf you dripping on a corpse ㅡㅡ — Anon No fr;; We heard a voice during the procession, thought wtf, then bam—coffin smashed and he jumps out; — Anon What a lame-ass. What's the concept? — Anon Defiling the dead too far? — Anon Kim Taeyang was trash, but didn't he die protecting you lot? Not some thug ㅡㅡ 📰 Breaking News -Video) Kim Taeyang Season 1 Revival.av (Video of Kim Taeyang bursting from coffin) Coffin smash real af. SUN WILL NEVER DIE.... — Anon ㅅㅂㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ — Anon Wtf is this real? — Anon Photoshop? ⭐ Top Comment — Anon ㅇㅇㅇㅇ!!! Believed in him!!! ㅇㅇ!!! — Anon ㅇㅇㅇㅇ — Anon ㅇㅇㅇㅇ! — Anon ㅇㅇㅇㅇ!! 📰 Breaking News -Breaking News) Kim Taeyang Funeral Situation Gallery Lord slurping spicy beef stew at his own funeral ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ — Anon ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Real madlad — Anon Eating spicy stew at your own funeral? Makes sense??? — Anon Head spinning.... — Anon Doing the impossible.... — Anon ㅇㅇㅇㅇ! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ — Anon How's the stew taste? — Anon Currently inspecting sows' condolence money ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ — Anon Lmao comedy gold ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Where's that at? — Anon Shock. Sows' total condolence: 31,000 won. End. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ — Anon Loyalty shattered; Revival and crashing his own funeral—total madlad behavior.
It sparked cult-like reactions, instantly becoming a meme.
More importantly, Kim Taeyang's popularity had skyrocketed.
📰 Breaking News -At this point, isn't Kim Taeyang just GOAT? Smashed the human rights-abusing Guidance Committee. Formed vigilantes, eradicated thugs. Built a ranch, saved failing students. Volunteering MT gave unforgettable memories. Led by example as student council pres, risked life in dungeon... Aaah... Finally see it... Taedaddy...! — Anon ㅇㄱㄹㅇ — Anon All-time GOAT fr — Anon All the Kim Taeyang hate was just haters ㅇㅈ? — Anon Half-half split here was Guidance Committee/Student Council psyop lol — Anon Yeet opinion manipulation was insane. — Anon Cut the bullshit. Still haters out there. — Anon Tlni clack clack~ Tlni clack clack~ (etc.) 📰 Breaking News -But irl you all hate Kim Taeyang Freshmen say they always liked him, haters are 2/3yr ops... Bs like that everywhere lately. Stfu. You all hate him irl, embarrassing ㅋㅋㅋㅋ — Anon Nuh uh? — Anon Why hate Gallery Lord lol — Anon (Gritting teeth) — Anon 1st years hilarious. Sucking up to Taeyang here like on drugs, but irl ask and they spit hate first ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Spineless bitches ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ — Anon Wanna break my dentures? — Anon My dentures tough af, try breaking em fucker. — Anon Can't rebut so denture cope ㅋㅋ Sad 1st yr level. — Anon Ark falls lol Imagine 1st yrs as 3rd yrs, same prestige? ㅋ Reality.
Ark's study lounge.
Kids at tables studying or chatting away.
No surprise Kim Taeyang talk popped up often.
A group wasting time on phones was no exception.
"Kim Taeyang everywhere lately."
"Yeah. Revived."
"Man, revival? Guy's unpredictable."
"Right? MT was decent tho..."
One kid's words sparked a game of hot potato.
Silence fell, broken by a boy.
"Still a thug. Totally unfit for student council pres."
His fingers flew.
Chatting while posting to Ark Gallery.
— Anon ㅇㅇㅇㅇ! Shut your mouths boomers before we kill you all!! No student council pres perfect like Taeyang! ㅇㅇ!! A girl picked up.
"You think so too? Even with sacrifice spirit, he's gross. Turns girls into sows?"
She was posting too.
— Anon Sow ready to submit to Gallery Lord! Oink oink~ "Yeah. How's a sex slave boss Ark's student pres?"
— Anon Kim Taeyang making all students worship one dick... true student pres.... "Sigh. Why not expel that thug quick."
— Anon From now on, me n Taeyang one body. Attacks on him = attacks on me... "Srsly gonna ruin Ark like seniors say?"
— Anon No GodTaeyang Ark already gone gg "#1 in tanking school image."
— Anon Love Gallery Lord♡ So proud to be Ark 1st yr with him...♡ Still embarrassed kids,
but Ark was swept by a quiet storm anyway.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Peak break season.
Normally home visit time.
Ark students differed.
Low graders dungeon dive no questions asked.
Dungeon clears count as credits.
Top students similar.
Just guild contracts, high-level dungeons—honors kids raid thru break too.
Mandatory vacation dungeon event.
S-rank pain-in-ass guilds hate—enter for must-have rewards.
Problem: No entry method.
Normally Kang Ju-hyuk's lucky break chain.
No fluke, no way student me enters S-rank.
Of course.
Got one plan.
Justice Guild managing dungeons pissed at me.
Their prospects tanked cuz me.
Prospects? Heroines.
Seol Harin, Lena, Cloé, Seol Ha-jeong.
Justice Guild raised heroines I stole Constellations from.
Hence warning letters galore.
'Ignored em all...'
Point: Guild master furious at me.
Gonna use that rage.
'Piss her off more, provoke!'
I know exactly how to enrage her.
She thinks I'm dead now...
Sudden revival dominating SNS...?
"Hey sows! Photoshoot time!!"
"Photoshoot...?"
"Slutty cosplay outfits, parade the streets!!!"
Gonna flood SNS with lewd pics of me n sows.
Rookie heroes playing with thug like me? Value plummets.
Value drops, guild master rages!
Who called SNS life waste?!
To this body, SNS is a nuke!!!