Someone to Watch Over Us
In the village where the saintess lived, there was a small orphanage. It was absurd to think such a place could properly operate in this remote manor far from any major city, but one existence called the "saintess" kept it afloat. Much like how urban orphanages ran on the support of devotees to the god of charity.
"Teacher! You've come!"
"I received a gift... and thought the children might need it more than I do, so I came."
When the saintess arrived at the orphanage, the director hurried out and bowed his head. It looked rather awkward, this old man bowing so deferentially to a little girl and calling her "teacher," but both carried on the conversation naturally.
It wasn't just because the saintess had lived far longer than her appearance suggested. The director respected her because she had devoted her entire life to serving the lowliest of people.
"Aigoo, you're so busy, yet you go out of your way for this... We truly appreciate it. This place can keep running thanks to you introducing us to those sponsors."
"What have I even done? Your hard work caring for the children is what truly matters. I'm a doctor, but I know that saving lives isn't as important as bringing them into the world in the first place. Doctors like me only welcome the sick... What meaning is there in a door that's only open to the suffering?"
"Haha, I'm not well-read enough for scripture. All I know is that you're a truly good person."
"...Thank you."
The mood between them was warm and harmonious. The orphanage director wasn't someone who had drunk the divine medicine. If they had appointed him director simply because he was "trustworthy," then someone who had drunk it would have been in charge. The director was a kind man. He treated the children like his own.
He could be strict and scold the teachers. That's why she had entrusted the orphanage to him now. Children needed a parent's affection. Not the selfless love of a god devoted to all. That was something the saintess couldn't provide. After all, she had been born without parents.
She didn't know what parental affection was like.
— "You Idiot. Nosalppi. You're plenty affectionate enough. Don't set limits on yourself beforehand. That's the kind of shit pussies do. How ridiculous would it be if someone preaching devotion and love for children chickened out, claiming they couldn't care for one themselves?"
'...Everyone has a role suited to them. How could a carpenter's blade be the same as a farmer's?'
— "The real key is keeping your eyes open when you wield the blade. You have to see clearly what you're cutting and where your own hand is."
'I know best what I'm doing.'
— "Like those patients who claim they know their own bodies best?"
'...'
The saintess fell silent. Patients know nothing of their own illnesses. That was a fact she knew best as a doctor. So, she wilted a little. She realized how pathetic her own words were.
"Perfect timing, Teacher. There's a child I wanted to show you."
"Me?"
"Yes. A child who dreams of becoming a doctor like you. She studies scripture diligently... She's truly smart and talented. Just recently, she handled emergency care for a teacher with a broken leg. If it weren't for her lungs, I'd hope you'd take her as your disciple."
"Hm."
Disciple. Not unfamiliar. Her apostles were already scattered across the world. Doctors who had inherited her blood and talent roamed slums and battlefields, serving humanity. But the age bothered her a bit. Children graduated from the orphanage at fifteen, so any child here would be younger. Too early for a divine calling.
"For now... I'll take a look. I can't decide without seeing her face."
"Yes! Thank you!"
…
"Hello! Teacher! I'm Charlotte!"
"..."
Ten years old. The age of the girl who had come to her, wanting to become a doctor.
"Director?"
"Haha, she's truly smart and talented. If she learned medicine at your side from a young age, she'd surely grow into an excellent doctor."
"...I have to run the hospital, so I can't come here every day."
"Why not take her with you?"
"Pardon?"
"Oh, not adoption or anything. Just letting her stay with you a few days a month to learn medicine would be wonderful. Of course, it'd be a bother, so it's fine if you refuse."
"..."
She should refuse. She was a doctor, not a caregiver. It was an unreasonable request. She loved children... but without favoritism. Her love was just and impartial, devoid of affection.
— "Yes or Yes. Nosalppi. There's no way you'd turn down a child's earnest, righteous wish."
But. Even so, she was someone who served children.
"I'll take responsibility and teach her. ...Though with hospital duties, I won't have much time."
"Ah! Thank you. Charlotte, thank the teacher."
"Yes! Thank you, Teacher!"
The saintess—no, Noah—was someone who couldn't bear to shatter the child's bright, pure smile. She served children. She honored the lowliest. Ignoring a child's dream to become a doctor was impossible for Noah.
"...Becoming a doctor is quite hard."
"Hehe, yes!"
She was a being who had descended to watch over this world tenderly.
And so, Saintess Noah's childcare life began.
"Perfect timing. Not too late, not too early. Just right."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. Balance is key when dealing with Noah, after all."
In the game Endless, Noah symbolized the world's absurdity in and of itself. The world was absurd enough already... but Noah's case was especially so. Just look at how they blatantly mashed together Buddhism and Christianity—polar opposites. It wasn't hard to guess what vicious assholes the Endless devs were.
"As I mentioned before, Noah's downfall has two paths. Lose balance and tip too far one way, and you plummet straight into doom."
"Yes. Either God descends through her sacrifice, or her powers make all humans uniform."
Some faiths say Maitreya descends on the day of the end of dharma, awakening all beings. Others say on the final day, the world burns to ash, revealing every sin. Then what of Noah? She who could bear all the world's suffering in place of others, or expose every sin without hiding. Wasn't she godlike herself?
"Once you make her doubt the goodness bestowed by God, fill that void with new emotions. Otherwise, denying God just turns her into another one. This part's trickier. Doubting's something she can do alone, but filling the gap needs others."
"What do we need?"
"Love."
"...Pardon?"
"Not the grand love of God, but human, personal love. Shabby, messy love. Yearning, regretting love. The love she stole to ease the pain of that pitiful lady faking illness—but couldn't empathize with at all."
The saintess had never experienced love. She had descended to watch over this world tenderly. She knew no parental warmth or family coziness. The only love she knew was from "our Father in heaven"... absolute, ideal love given equally to all (Agape).
"This can only be built through relationships. Bearing someone else's love instead means nothing. For real."
"Then we can only pray that Charlotte does well?"
"Hell no. Praying to gods in this world is the dumbest shit. It just means it's that hard."
Unlike tackling a witch. Witches already harbored attachment to family deep inside. Her pursuit of immortality stemmed from losing hers. Weren't witches ultimately seekers of a "love potion"? Since the witch already held love, averting doom just meant helping her realize it herself. No easy fix like that for the saintess.
"Let's shake her up good. Make Noah expose her heart's weakness so Charlotte can slip in."
"That... sounds fun."
Canaria, pondering my explanation, snapped her fingers as if a good idea struck.
"Could you project a few hallucinations onto that Charlotte girl, by chance?"
"What're you scheming? Nah, I'll see for myself."
I checked Canaria's thoughts via telepathy.
And burst out laughing.
"Damn, Cana..."
"Yes."
"You're one nasty bitch, huh...?"
***
"Mom..."
"What."
Noah's mind reeled dizzily.