I Have Overcome the World

In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart.

Zara resisted her own fate. She said no to what she hated. She fought back against senseless violence. She didn't go overboard, but she learned ways to resist within the bounds of social norms. To stand tall before herself. And to properly face her own misfortune.

Zara began to change, little by little.

"Give me my twenty coins!"

"I ain't givin' no coins to the likes of you! Scram!"

"If you don't pay the coins you promised, I'll block up your chimney again."

"What."

"My labor isn't free. I cleaned your chimney nice and spotless, and in return, you promised to pay me in coins. Refusing to pay means you're disregarding the value of my work. So it's only right to put it back the way it was before the cleaning."

"You little psycho... Tch, fine, take your coins and get lost!"

"Ehehe. Thank you."

The man who'd tried to stiff her on wages pulled coins from his pocket with a sour expression. It wasn't about the money being precious—it was the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠fact that he had to pay Zara fair wages that grated on him. He spat curses as he flung the coins to the ground.

Zara replied in a calm but firm tone.

"Pick them up properly and hand them over."

"I gave you the money! Can't even pick up your own damn coins 'cause you're so lazy? No wonder beggar brats like you..."

"Hand them to me with your hands. I'm not a dog. I'm a person."

"Get the hell out!"

The man stormed inside, slamming the door after a furious huff. Only a few scattered coins glinted in the sunlight on the ground.

Zara crouched down and picked them up one by one. One ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was missing. Maybe he'd shorted her from the start, or perhaps one had rolled away.

Zara let out a wry chuckle.

"It's the first time I've ever gotten this much money! Luck's on my side today."

"Hehe, you're right."

If Zara had acted a bit more 'badly,' she could've pounded on the door until he coughed up that extra coin. She could've hurled curses right back at the man who'd cursed her. She could've even threatened him to pay up every wage he'd ever stiffed anyone on.

In that sense, Zara was still too kind.

"Ehehe."

But Zara had changed. More than yesterday, less than tomorrow. She had become someone who could stand proudly against her own misfortune.

"It's all thanks to you, Gigachad!"

"Hehe, then it's all thanks to me!"

Zara hated this world.

From her childhood days of relative comfort and happiness, she'd always hated it. There was no reason for that loathing. She hated the smell of grass when the blades swayed. She hated the scent of rain when it fell. She hated her mother's dignity. She hated her father's kindness. Whether the weather was fine or foul, the world was an endlessly hateful place to her.

And soon, that 'hate' gained a reason.

The world stole away her kind father's life. After his death, her mother lost her dignity and lashed out with violence. When Zara wished for rain, drought struck the land; when she longed for sunshine, floods swallowed the city.

In truth... Zara was rather pleased by that fact.

'I hate Father. His beard prickles too much.'

'I hate Mother. She hit me with a switch.'

'I hate rain clouds. They're too gloomy.'

It felt like proof that her innate wickedness wasn't 'baseless.' The world truly deserved hatred, and she'd simply known it from birth.

...Or was that really it?

In the fairy tales her father read to her every night, good people were rewarded and the wicked punished. Virtue triumphs over vice. Heaven encourages good and punishes evil.

If heaven hated her because she hated heaven... then from the start, heaven had judged everything fairly.

Even sins born of thought were still sins, deserving of punishment.

If she was the villain, receiving her due...

Truly. Having been 'born this way,' what excuse could there be?

'I hate Mr. Gordon. His bald head shines too much.'

So Zara obsessed over good deeds. She strove to be a good person. She ignored the wicked thoughts lurking in her heart.

When Mr. Gordon stiffed her on wages, Zara just laughed it off like a fool. Because she'd hated him first. It was only natural for him to hate her back.

'I hate that brat. Too noisy.'

When the kid she'd saved bit her hand and ran off, Zara was just glad she'd saved him. She hadn't done it expecting thanks anyway. It was simply to be a good person.

She didn't need anyone else's approval.

'I...'

'...hate myself like this...'

Zara hated herself.

'I hate being born wicked.'

The reason Zara tried so hard to be kind stemmed from hatred toward her 'wickedly born' self. There was no kindness in that feeling at all. Just like how she hated the world, heaven, and others without reason, she hated herself the same way.

Everyone is born with 'self-love,' but Zara had none of it. Only loathing.

That's why Zara could never be truly wicked. Being the wickedest of all, she could only hate herself more than anyone.

Wasn't self-affirmation supposed to come from profound goodness?

Zara couldn't love herself. She could only hate.

Unable to affirm the world, affirming herself was impossible.

She thought it would be that way forever.

"Yes!"

...Until she met the other voice in her mind—Gigachad.

Until then, her inner world had been filled only with hate.

But the Gigachad who suddenly appeared one day was different. He spoke of affirming oneself. He got angry at unfair treatment but never hated others without reason.

She... could affirm herself.

"Ehehe. It was a lucky day today."

"Hehe."

Listening ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to Gigachad's gentle voice, Zara pulled her sackcloth over her and closed her eyes. The wind was chilly. Dew from somewhere dripped onto her forehead.

Her inner voices still poured out hatred toward the world.

But... it wasn't cold anymore.

The more days passed, the harsher the world grew toward her.

One ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠day, she was falsely accused of robbery and chased by soldiers. Zara fled from them until the misunderstanding cleared, capturing the one who'd framed her. Something unimaginable in the past.

Zara no longer shook under misfortune. The world's cruelty couldn't rattle her.

"Today... feels like a good day!"

And she started using 'lucky day' less and less. Instead, she expressed more personal feelings.

"The world's still a shithole! I really hate this world!"

"Yes! Hehe."

The world was still a shithole. Irrational, unfair, endlessly cruel to her.

But even so, she was becoming a better person, day by day.

To stick it to the world.

Zara had learned to affirm herself. Good for her.

The more she affirmed herself, the harder she'd try to stick it to the world that tormented her.

She'd never achieve what she truly desired, of course.

"...But honestly, I've got grudges against this world too. Sticking it to the world isn't just Zara's thing."

"You look thrilled."

"Immensely. Over the moon."

Right on cue, this world's top nuisance-maker, the 'Hero of Justice,' was heading Zara's way.

Probably her 'misfortune' at work. Perfect timing.

Now I just had to hand over a nicely wrapped middle finger.

"Let's stick it to the world together. Canaria."

"Understood."

Go ahead, squirm all you want.

World of Endless.

To put it biblically...