It Can't Be Helped
Eunhae’s movements began to slow down.
The hand reaching for a snack started to drag like a sloth’s, and she blinked once, slowly, then blinked again.
Thump.
Her center of gravity shifted, and Eunhae collapsed to the side. It happened in an instant.
My hand shot out by reflex, but I didn't reach her in time.
Eunhae lay on the floor, completely motionless.
I hurriedly placed my fingers under her nose, and felt the steady, warm rhythm of her breath.
It might be obvious, but she was alive.
Now that I looked closer, her chest was rising and falling slightly with each breath.
Should I call that a relief?
What kind of situation is this? Does it make any sense to fall asleep right in the middle of eating a snack?
So, the current situation is this.
Eunhae is currently lying on the floor, fast asleep.
“Kuuu….”
I looked down at Eunhae, who was curled up in front of me.
‘I’m never letting her drink again…’
Having a low tolerance for alcohol is just too cliché of a development.
If Eunhae ever drinks again, it’s certain she’ll cause a major disaster sooner or later.
I can hold back, but that girl is the problem.
…I can hold back. Probably.
Eunhae is sleeping soundly, close enough that I could reach out and touch her right now.
I hurriedly checked the time.
She might have fallen asleep, but if I take her home, it’ll work out somehow.
I don’t have anything to do tomorrow anyway, so it doesn't matter if I go to bed a little late today.
I even know the passcode to Eunhae’s studio apartment. I just need to carry her there, lay her down, and come back.
But the timing, of all things.
…It was the last train.
How did the time pass by so quickly?
If it’s the last train, I won’t be able to get back if I take Eunhae to her place.
It’s not like I have a car; I’m a pedestrian.
Then, is that the only way?
Other options flashed through my mind for a split second, but no matter how much I thought about it, there was no other way.
…It can’t be helped.
I agonized over Eunhae for a long time.
Even so, letting Eunhae sleep at my place is the last resort.
If I can wake her up, that’s the best option—to wake her and put her on the last train myself.
Eunhae was still curled up, sleeping on her side, looking as comfortable as if she didn't have a care in the world.
Now she was even drooling while she slept.
“Ueee…. Ummm…. Um…”
This is driving me crazy.
I called out to Eunhae from a distance.
“Hey, hey.”
I tried to call her to wake her up without touching her, but she showed no signs of waking.
I could only hear her soft, rhythmic breathing.
“Wake up.”
She was still sleeping soundly.
“Eunhae. Baek Eunhae…!”
No matter how much I called, she wouldn't wake up.
It can’t be helped. I increased the intensity of my attempts to wake her.
Even so, touching Eunhae’s body felt a bit awkward.
Not for any other reason, just because I was trying to wake her up.
I tapped Eunhae’s shoulder lightly.
Even with a gentle touch, her body swayed easily. She was so light. Much lighter than I thought.
“Eunhae.”
“…Ummm….”
Still, when I touched her, her reaction was different from before.
She curled her body even tighter, as if telling me not to touch her.
Again, I heard the soft, rhythmic sounds of her breathing.
Eunhae felt a bit awkward under my fingertips, so I pulled my hand away.
I briefly thought about whether she’d wake up if I hit her a bit harder, but I didn't put it into action.
Though I had hit her on the head a few times before. Back then, I’d hit her gently. Like I would with a younger sister.
No matter how much I shook her, there was no sign of her waking up.
Maybe she’ll wake up on her own if I just wait.
‘Let’s just clean up…’
I finished washing the dishes from dinner.
I intentionally turned the water on quite loudly. I even let a plate slip once. Even though it should have been quite noisy.
Eunhae was still sleeping on the living room floor.
I tidied up the snack bags and beer cans from our drinking session.
I intentionally crumpled the snack bags loudly. Even though I heard a sound so unpleasant it made my face wince.
Eunhae was still sleeping on the living room floor.
“Haa….”
A woman was still sleeping in my living room.
I know this woman is Eunhae.
I know it’s not right. I know it in my head.
But my upper body and lower body had different opinions.
‘You crazy bastard.’
I counted on my fingers how many times I’d actually met Eunhae.
Right after she changed, when she came over to hang out, at the event, when we talked, when we went to see a movie.
‘…Is that all?’
We talked a lot on Discord, but having her actually in front of me was a different matter.
Eunhae, right in front of me, wasn't familiar to me yet. No, to be precise, I hadn't had the time to get used to her.
That was why I’d ended up treating her emotionally without realizing it, because she kept using the fact that she’d become a woman to her advantage.
Since she wouldn't listen to words, I felt like I had to show her directly.
That this is what happens.
But there was a slight variable. I’d intended to do it for a moment and let her go immediately.
I’d ended up holding onto her for longer than I thought.
It was because of Eunhae’s reaction. Seeing that expression, I couldn't stop for a moment.
Even now, Eunhae’s face was vivid in my mind.
I checked the time again. The last train had already passed.
It was no use waking her up now.
It really can’t be helped.
Siwoo told himself.
Right. If I’m going to let her sleep, my place is better. Eunhae’s place is small.
My place can comfortably fit two people, and if we sleep on the living room floor, even five people could sleep here.
…This is the rational choice.
I approached Eunhae again.
As expected, she was just sleeping soundly.
Seeing how she was sleeping peacefully despite how much I’d shaken her earlier, and despite the noise of me cleaning up.
It was clear she wouldn't know even if I carried her away.
She wouldn't know no matter what I did.
Gulp.
No. No. No.
No matter what, absolutely not.
Sweat trickled down the back of my neck. I must have worked up a sweat from cleaning earlier.
The things I’d said to Eunhae earlier echoed in my head.
Even if they say a man’s brain is located in his dick, I’m a crazy bastard for having these thoughts right now after saying that.
To be honest, maybe because I was tired, I was a little tipsy even though I hadn't drunk much.
I wouldn't have been like this normally.
I couldn't understand my own actions from earlier.
‘Ah, should I have just put her in a taxi and sent her home?’
Now that my reason had returned a little, I regretted my earlier choice.
Was I really so stingy with money that I didn't put her in a taxi?
Could I really say I had no other thoughts?
Siwoo let out a deep sigh.
No matter how I thought about it, leaving Eunhae to sleep on the living room floor wasn't the right thing to do.
I decided to move her so she could sleep in a proper place.
I crouched down in front of the soundly sleeping Eunhae. Her face was more visible than before.
I hesitated for a moment.
‘…How do I carry her?’
After agonizing over it, I decided to carry her in a position I’d seen often somewhere.
I put one hand under the back of Eunhae’s knees. I knelt on one knee and supported her upper body with my other hand.
Perhaps because she was asleep, Eunhae’s head leaned limply against my forearm.
A princess carry.
I never imagined in my life that I’d be carrying a woman like this.
I straightened my knees and stood up.
‘She’s light…’
She was incredibly light. I’d expected it, but she was even lighter than I’d thought when I actually picked her up.
No matter how much I considered her body size, she was too light. It felt like her bones themselves were thin.
I felt anew how fragile Eunhae, who fit perfectly into my arms, was. When I lowered my head, what entered my field of vision was too violent.
I didn't lower my head and only looked straight ahead. If I didn't, I’d be in danger.
I carried Eunhae in my arms and entered the room with the bed. And I carefully laid her down on the bed.
Carefully, so she wouldn't wake up.
I even covered her with a blanket.
I was about to leave when my feet suddenly stopped. I returned to the front of the bed and looked down at Eunhae’s face.
She was sleeping without a care in the world.
Exuding a different atmosphere than when she was laughing and chatting just a while ago.
I looked at Eunhae’s face from a little closer.
With her mouth closed and being quiet, I couldn't find any traces of Eunhae.
If I crossed the line, I wouldn't be able to return to our original relationship, would I?
I poked her cheek with my finger once.
‘Actually, I wanted to touch her earlier too…’
It was soft.
‘She doesn't even wake up like this…’
…Eunhae is the type of person who can’t even tell the people around her.
The sweat that had gathered at the nape of my neck trickled down my spine.
“…….”
Just then, Eunhae moved suddenly.
“Oh…”
My heart sank. My body stiffened, my index finger still poking her cheek.
“Mmm…”
I thought I’d woken her up by touching her, but it seemed it was just sleep-talking.
“…………. ………. …….”
She was muttering something, but I couldn't understand it.
Still, there was one thing I could tell.
Eunhae was crying. While sleeping.
Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes and then trickled down her face.
What on earth is she crying about while sleeping?
“……. ……. ……….”
I couldn't move for a while. I kept looking at that face.
‘What on earth was I trying to do just now…’
I ignored Eunhae, who was tossing and turning while crying, and turned off the light.
And I left quietly. I closed the door carefully as well.
My head had cooled down. My head had cooled down.
No, to be precise, only my head had cooled down.
My head was rational, but my lower body was not rational at all.
From the moment I pushed Eunhae down earlier until now, it hadn't subsided even once.
…It was standing stiffly, to the point of pain.
“Haa……….”
…It only subsided after I’d done it three times in a row.
I didn't become a sage. My head didn't become clear either.
Instead, I managed to pull myself together.
So that I could continue to look at Eunhae as a friend.
I brought the extra blanket I’d taken out earlier and lay down in the living room.
Sleep wouldn't come. Of course it couldn't.
I closed my eyes while looking at the ceiling.
The expression on Eunhae’s face when I held her wrists came to mind. The face of her shedding tears while sleeping came to mind.
The weight of Eunhae when I carried her came to mind. The sensation of her hair leaning against my forearm came to mind.
The sensation of her soft cheek remained on my index finger.
When I closed my eyes, all my senses became even more vivid.
…Ah, it’s standing again.
Only after doing it one last time was I able to fall asleep.