Take Me Home
As we chatted and sipped, the beer cans seemed to empty all too quickly.
I couldn't believe I’d already finished half of mine.
My head felt a little light, but I figured if I just slowed down, I’d be fine. Getting so drunk that I lost control was for amateurs. I’d been tempered by countless nights of drinking alone. Since there was no one to clean up after me, I’d always had to make sure I could at least hold myself together.
I started pacing myself to ensure I stayed sharp. My mind was still perfectly clear.
Siwoo and Sia were just a little flushed, not particularly drunk either. It might just be my own impression, but the atmosphere was ripening nicely.
“So, what kind of work do you do…?”
“Me? I’m not even sure yet. I haven’t even started my first day. I guess I’ll know once I actually get there, right?”
Sia was stroking my hair as she spoke. I didn't mind the gentle touch—it felt a bit like being a pet—so I just sat there and let her.
“Oppa, aren’t you just going to be making coffee when you get there?”
“Where do you think this is? That doesn't happen anymore.”
“But don’t you at least know what position you were hired for…?”
“I do. I just joined the production side.”
Siwoo gave a light nod and looked at Sia.
“Sia, how’s university? Did you go on the MT?”
“Yeah! I did. It feels like all we do lately is drink. It’s exhausting… Is college just a place for drinking?”
What if she was only drinking so much because of me? I turned to look at her. On the surface, she seemed fine.
“Are you okay with drinking right now? You’re not forcing yourself, are you…?”
“Compared to back then, this is just a drop in the bucket. We were drinking by the box, so this one can is nothing.”
She looked at my face, and the hand that had been stroking my hair turned a bit mischievous. My hair got a little messy, but I didn't say anything. More than that, I was just relieved she wasn't drinking against her will. If I were the one being forced to drink, this situation would have been truly horrific.
Then, I remembered how dejected Sia had looked before.
“Did you make any friends? You were so worried about that….”
I knew she would have, but I asked just in case. Siwoo looked at Sia with an expression that said, *“She had worries?”* Sia tried to avoid his gaze and brought the can to her lips.
“Ugh. I, I did. Once I got there, we just got close.”
“Well, going on an MT is just drinking and sleeping anyway.”
“What did you do on your MT, Oppa?”
“I only remember drinking. That’s it.”
Siwoo took a gulp of beer and set the can down.
“But, don’t even think about getting a boyfriend now that you’re in college. Kids these days…”
Before he could finish, Sia’s expression turned sharp, and she cut him off cold.
“What do you mean, ‘kids these days’? There’s only a five-year gap between us.”
“No, I mean kids these days are—”
“What have you even experienced, Oppa? You don’t even have a girlfriend.”
“Hey. Where did that come from?”
“You should hurry up and get a girlfriend. Even Dad says something about it.”
“Hey.”
Sia started counting on her fingers.
“No girlfriend. Actually, no female friends at all. And it’s not like you have any intention of dating. There’s no hope. Our family line is going to end because of you, Oppa.”
“Hey, hey. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t.”
Siwoo held up the side of his hand. It was the same precursor as when he’d smacked my head last time.
“If you can’t, then put in some effort. Go outside… Wait, you *do* go outside, so why can’t you make any?”
Siwoo swung his hand toward Sia, but she dodged it easily and gave him a smug look.
I just sipped my beer, using their bickering as my snack. Eventually, Siwoo gave up. Now, I supposed I should talk about the MT, too.
I bowed my head slightly, observing Siwoo and Sia’s knees and feet as I opened my mouth.
“I didn't go to the MT, so I didn't have a single college friend…”
I felt their gazes and looked up to find both Siwoo and Sia staring at me. The atmosphere suddenly felt strange.
“…….”
Had we already moved past this topic?
Sia’s eyes softened, looking at me like I was a pitiful animal. Her lips pouted, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. Was not having college friends really something to be pitied?
There was a brief silence, but thankfully, Siwoo pointed at himself and answered.
“What do you mean you have no friends? You had me.”
“I didn't have anyone but you… No, and you were already my friend to begin with. I’m talking about college friends…”
“But we’re still friends. If we went to the same university, we’re college friends.”
“I’m talking about friends made *at* college. Not friends I already had.”
“Hey, they say college friends are meaningless anyway. There’s a saying that the friends you meet when you’re young are the only real friends.”
“But I wanted to try making friends in college, too…”
Siwoo, barely listening, popped a snack into his mouth.
“Didn't you join a lab, though? What about the people in the lab? Aren't they your friends?”
“W-well, that’s true, but… it didn't feel like a friendship. We barely talked… We just did the projects and assignments… We never did anything personal together…”
“…….”
Even Siwoo’s gaze turned a little pitiful. Then, Sia chimed in, curious.
“A lab? What’s a lab?”
Siwoo answered quickly.
“If you evolve in a lab, you become a slave.”
He wasn't wrong. I thought it was just an urban legend, but I’d seen it for myself in the lab.
“I didn't want to become a formal slave, so I escaped early…”
“Oh! I know about slaves!”
Sia’s eyes sparkled. Like someone who had just figured something out, she pointed her index finger at the sky.
“So, is a lab that graduate student thing?”
“Yeah. You work in a lab, and if you want to become a graduate student, you move on to the program.”
“I see. What do you think about joining a lab?”
A sudden silence fell. Siwoo knew the answer. I, of course, knew the answer too. There was only one correct answer to Sia’s question. There was no need to hesitate.
“Don’t do it…”
“Huh?”
“I said don’t do it…”
After talking for a while, there was a lull in the conversation. Sia was eating the gummy bears she’d picked up, and Siwoo was snacking on crackers. I wanted to take the lead for once, since I’d only been adding to the topics they brought up. As it happened, I had a perfect subject in mind.
“O-oh, right…”
As soon as I spoke, their eyes focused on me. Being stared at so intently was a bit overwhelming. I wasn't sure whether to look at Siwoo or Sia, so I alternated between them, distributing my gaze as I spoke.
“Did you see the news? There was an official announcement…”
“The news? What news?”
“About me, how I ended up like this. Didn't you see it…? Or have you never seen it?”
“I don’t really keep up with the news.”
“Was it really on the news? I told you it would be, didn't I? It really was…!”
Siwoo and Sia suddenly grabbed their smartphones and tapped away. Siwoo seemed to find the article first.
“Oh, it’s real. That name is ridiculously long…”
“Where, where? How did you search for it?”
“Here, look at this.”
Siwoo turned his screen so we could both see. It was the same article I’d seen—the one with the most views. Sia looked at it, then searched on her own phone to read it on her screen.
“Luckily, there’s nothing about my personal story. Aside from my family, you two are the only ones who know I’m the person in that news…”
Even the “family” I referred to excluded distant relatives, so the number of people who knew I had TS Syndrome was tiny. Mom, my brother, Siwoo, and Sia. Only four people. I could count them on one hand.
“Only us two? That’s… that’s fascinating. It feels special.”
“Yeah.”
Siwoo stroked his chin and continued.
“…But what are you going to do now that it’s on the news?”
“What do you mean, what am I going to do…?”
“You’re going to keep hiding it from the people you work with, right?”
“The person I work with is the one who told me about this news. I’m not crazy enough to tell them… It would just make the atmosphere weird.”
“It’s wise not to say anything. You have no obligation to tell them.”
Sia looked at her phone with a serious, slightly scared expression.
“…Did you see the comments? P-people are so mean…”
“I saw. They’re just people who don’t know anything.”
One comment from the news crossed my mind. It said it would be disgusting to have someone like that around. I’d felt offended when I first saw it, too. But if I weren't the person involved, and I thought about having someone with TS Syndrome in my life… could I honestly say I wouldn't be disgusted? Thinking about that, I wondered if I should be grateful to Siwoo and Sia.
Sia’s expression grew even more serious than before.
“…Should I take down my photo?”
“They don’t know it’s me anyway. It’s fine. You don’t have to take it down…”
“No. J-just in case. What if I get found out because of what I posted?”
“Taking it down after posting it would be even weirder… Too many people have already seen it…”
“I guess so…”
Sia picked up her can and shook it. Even without seeing inside, it looked very light.
After talking a bit more, Sia stood up.
“Hmm… well, I’m done, so I think I’ll head home.”
She asked me, looking a bit strange since I showed no signs of leaving.
“…Aren't you going?”
I gently shook the beer can that still had a little left in it.
“I think I’ll stay a little longer. It took too long to get here to just leave now…”
“Alright. Well then…”
Sia put on her shoes and stood in front of the front door. Then, she exchanged a look with Siwoo. I couldn't read the look. Was it some kind of telepathy only siblings shared? Siwoo gave a faint nod, waving his hand as if he were tired of it all.
Sia, with her hand on the doorknob, turned her head back. It was one last look to confirm.
“I’m going.”
“Get home safe.”
“Bye, Sia. Thanks for everything…”
I waved to see her off. The front door closed, and Siwoo looked at me. The moment he opened his mouth as if to say something—the doorbell rang again.
Siwoo tilted his head and opened the door. Sia was still standing outside.
“…Oppa, take me to the subway station.”