The Staff Is Long
What the hell kind of misunderstanding is this? The staff is long. Some say the staff is an incredibly powerful weapon and a fundamental one. It's hard to find a weapon that can freely switch between attack and defense like a staff. But I don't know about that. Again, the staff is long. Isn't it perfect for keeping some distance and beating the opponent senseless? Especially if the one holding the staff has a combat power of 2375.
“Kii, kiiruk…” Every goblin struck by the staff had no choice but to die. The five goblins swept away like trash with a broom were already dead and riding the express train to the afterlife. What happens when you kill five monsters with a single swing of a staff? Battlefield terror. The fancy term is battlefield terror; the cheap version means they’re scared shitless. Once you realize one hit from the staff means death, who the hell would charge forward? Whether you're stupid or smart, death is equally terrifying. Even a mere insect will struggle desperately to survive when faced with death. There is no animal that doesn't fear death.
“Hey, big-noses. Scared?” That’s when you provoke them. Smart ones won’t fall for it, but dumb ones always do. The best provocation is insulting their appearance. “Your nose is so big I can’t even see your face. Is your nose your whole face? If you get drunk and your nose goes crooked, your whole face will go crooked too, right?”
“Kii, kiiruk…” But survival instinct seems stronger than anger. The provocation doesn’t seem to be working.
“You human bastard! Did we ever ask you to add to our big noses?!” Surprisingly, the goblin shaman took the bait. Maybe because he’s stronger than regular goblins, he has nothing to fear.
“My kin! Do not fear! No matter how strong that human is, he’ll be helpless if surrounded, so form an encirclement!”
It’s a pretty wise choice. The others have been beaten badly by goblins before, so they’re not rushing in recklessly. I wouldn’t be able to handle it easily if I got surrounded either. But there’s one thing the goblin shaman overlooked. There’s only one of me, and there are 92 of them. Will it be faster for 92 goblins to form an encirclement around me, or will it be faster for me to run around like crazy and stop them?
“Obviously.” Thwack! “I’m.” Thud-thud-thud! “Faster, you bastards!” Thud-thud-thud-thud!
I charge forward. Any goblin that tries to block my path gets killed with the staff. What does it take to kill them? A single swing! As I run around slaughtering goblins, the ones trying to form the encirclement start panicking and running around in confusion.
“Kiiruk!” “Kiiraak!”
The sight of the flustered goblins was a spectacle. Some tripped over rocks, others slipped on dry dirt. How the hell do you slip and fall just by stepping on dry dirt? Their stupidity was so profound it left me speechless.
“Y-you cockroach bastard!” The goblin shaman sounded furious as he screamed at the top of his lungs. Like screaming would bring the dead goblins back to life.
“I won’t forgive you! You bastard!”
At that moment, boom! Something flew toward me. I dodged quickly and saw a crater in the ground. If I’d been a second slower, I would’ve been sharing the road to the afterlife with those goblins. Looks like he’s planning some long-range bombardment, fitting for a shaman. Strange talismans started floating around the goblin shaman, then shot toward me at high speed.
Kwa-kwa-kwa-kwa-boom! How the hell do you throw talismans to get that kind of destructive power? Unfortunately for him, I’m stronger than the goblin shaman right now. I’m not weak enough to get hit by crap like that. In the end, I dodged the talismans while slaughtering all 100 goblins. Because I didn’t account for the combat power difference when killing them, Basic Combat Power: 1450 was the best I could manage. Plus, my body is creaking from prolonged use of chegi. Even while circulating chegi, my combat power isn’t increasing much. I can see why the Murim Alliance uses neigong instead of chegi. If this drags into a prolonged fight, I’ll definitely be at a disadvantage. Now that only the goblin shaman is left, I need to finish this quickly.
“Hyung, thanks for the staff.”
“Huh? Uh, yeah…”
Gu Ja-gon blankly took the staff and handed me the sashimi knife. I grabbed the knife and started running toward the goblin shaman. The shaman had lost his mind and was screaming.
“Where! Where are you taking my precious kin! My greatest plan──────!!!!!!”
The goblin shaman charged at me in a frenzy. Sorry, but this fight was already over the moment I decided I’d won. If he’s running straight at me, that’s actually perfect. I gathered all the chegi circulating through my body into my wrist and launched the sashimi knife. Target: the neck.
Whiiiiiiish!
“Kehk!”
The goblin shaman’s steps slowed with the knife embedded in his neck. The distance between us was 50 meters. I closed it in an instant.
Crunch!
I leaped and drove a knee kick straight into his big nose.
“Nose!”
Not done yet. After landing, I grabbed his head, yanked it down, and delivered another knee kick.
“Nose, nose, nose!”
Knee kick! Knee kick! Knee kick!
“S-stop! Stooop!”
Stop? What stop? We’re just getting started.
“Nose, nose, nose, nose!”
“My nose is getting crushed…”
“Nose, nose, nose, nose!”
“Just hit my eyes instead!”
“Nose, nose, nose, nose!”
I can’t resist punching a big nose when I see one. I subjected him to an endless hell of nose-nose-nose-nose. The goblin shaman started by cheering and dancing like he was having the time of his life, then eventually got exhausted and collapsed into sleep.
“Is having a big nose a sin…”
That was the shaman’s final sleep-talk. I needed his skull, so I cut off his head with the sashimi knife and sent him peacefully to dreamland.
“Sleep well, our big-nosed baby.”
Previous Combat Power: 1,450
Opponent Combat Power: 2,150
Combat Power Difference: 700
You have defeated an opponent who should have been nearly impossible to beat. Your combat power has increased significantly.
Combat Power Change: 1,450 → 1,950
After killing 101 big-noses, I returned to the party holding the shaman’s head. Seeing that, Baek Ji-hwan asked with a confused expression.
“Y-you’re this strong, so why were you hiding your power? Is this some kind of hidden-strength concept?”
“Me? Strong? I’m weak though.”
“B-but you easily defeated these goblins that we couldn’t even beat.”
“That just means you guys are weaker than me. It doesn’t mean I’m strong.”
“Th-that’s! Even like this, I’m a veteran goblin hunter!”
“How weak do you have to be to become a veteran who only hunts goblins your whole life?”
“Urgh…”
Baek Ji-hwan shut his mouth, probably because I hit him with facts. The little bastard kept calling me incompetent, so I wanted to get more revenge, but I’ll stop here.
“By the way, little bro, what are you doing when your hyungnim just came back from the battlefield?”
“Me, what?”
“Me, what? This bastard’s talking short again?”
Gu Ja-gon, still not coming to his senses, spoke informally, so I raised my fist. He awkwardly smiled and rubbed his hands together.
“Aigoo, hyungnim. How could I say such disrespectful words to you? That was just me talking to myself, talking to myself.”
“Yeah? Talking to yourself? Then should I try talking to myself too? Man, my shoulders are stiff after fighting~”
“I’ll massage them right away!”
“Huh? I was talking to myself, so why does it sound like I’m talking to you? Should I take your self-talk as directed at me and beat the shit out of you?”
“N-no, why are you saying that…”
Gu Ja-gon’s bravado disappeared and he shrank down. I guess that’s enough teasing.
“Just kidding. Come here and massage my shoulders.”
“Y-yes!”
Gu Ja-gon hurriedly ran behind me and started massaging my shoulders. Damn, his grip strength is no joke. Must be from swinging that staff.
“Ooh, that feels good~”
“Woo Hyun-woo-nim, may we begin recovering the cores now?”
“Core recovery? Why are you asking me? You’re the party leader.”
“Because we need to distribute the cores according to contribution. Today you did everything alone, so it would be best if you took them all…”
Cores are needed by various corporations. Even if they’re not directly connected to the three major organizations, anyone who can buy cores will purchase them. Of course, the royal palace officials who manage the entire human city from the center will need them too, but they don’t get cores for free. That means cores are profitable no matter where you sell them. But if I monopolize the cores for no reason, I might stand out and become a target. Just having Carpediem warning me is already stressful enough. What if other organizations start targeting me too?
“I’ll have to decline. I only need the shaman’s skull.”
“What?! Really? You’re saying you only need that skull?!”
Baek Ji-hwan’s dazed eyes started sparkling. What the hell, why is he like that?
“You really are an excellent person! Master will surely like you. I’ll be sure to report this beautiful story to Master exactly as it happened!”
“N-no, there’s no need for that. I’m just taking the skull because I need it.”
“Aaah! How could someone be so free of greed? The martial prowess to single-handedly eliminate all the goblins! Yet such humility with no interest in material wealth!”
No interest in wealth, my ass. The moment this is over, I’m going home to grab the IOUs and beat the shit out of my debtors.
“Woo Hyun-woo-nim! You are absolutely essential to our Jujak Guild! The reason you were hiding your strength was because of your humble personality, right? You didn’t want to show off?”
“Does Baek Ji-hwan-ssi perhaps suffer from delusions of grandeur?”
“Sob sob, you don’t have to say it like that. I understand completely.”
“No, it doesn’t seem like you understand at all.”
“Now, let’s go! Woo Hyun-woo-nim is today’s hero! Everyone, give a round of applause to the hero!”
Clap clap clap clap clap!
These bastards have gone insane. After returning to the lodging, submitting the extermination report, the party was disbanded. I wanted to go home quickly. Go home, see the cute Eris, show off the goblin shaman’s skull. Just imagining it was healing. After dealing with two smelly braggarts, I’m dying to see our cute boss’s daughter. Is cuteness addictive too? I’m clearly showing withdrawal symptoms.
The problem was that the Jujak Guild, whose members had gone crazy, wouldn’t let me leave.
“Nice to meet you, Hero Woo Hyun-woo! I heard about your performance today from Hunter Baek Ji-hwan.”
Choi Ji-ah, the master of the Jujak Guild, wearing breast pads, suggested we have a one-on-one meal.
“Uh, I’ve got a goblin skull in my hands though?”
“We can just put that on the table for a bit while we eat, no problem. Today’s lunch is also goblin belly steak.”
Why the hell does something like that even exist, you crazy woman.