Chapter 25
Chapter 25
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 25
Chapter Title: Shattered
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Shattered
"It's true. I haven't used the drug yet."
[21 minutes]
Panic began to set in.
"So just give it to me."
The syringes on the floor, and the one I was just about to use.
Given the circumstances, I could see why he'd think I'd used it more than twice.
But I'm telling you I didn't.
I don't use the drug so recklessly.
[19 minutes]
"I promise, it's the truth. I was going to, but I haven't used it yet."
I've never broken a promise.
It might look like the scene of an overdose to anyone else, but it's not.
"...I'm sorry. I can't."
"Why?"
"For your own good."
That's not for my good.
Han Si-hoo doesn't believe me.
What do I have to do to make him believe me?
My heart grew frantic.
"You're just going to treat me like a monster anyway. Does it really matter? Whether I use a little or a lot."
That seemed like the wrong move.
In my haste, I'd said the wrong thing.
Han Si-hoo's expression hardened slightly.
"No, that's not it. ...Because we're friends."
How can he say that?
If we were friends, he'd give me the drug when I asked.
"...I really haven't used it."
[17 minutes]
I couldn't control my emotions.
My wrist began to throb.
I could feel the drug's effects wearing off.
"Oh, so I just have to wait? Then when can I use it? I can wait for about five minutes."
"I'm sorry."
"Even if I had already used it, just one more time would be fine. Please? Huh?"
Let's just say I've used a lot.
Even so, one more time is fine.
There won't be any problem.
I think a friend should listen when asked like this.
"Let me use the drug."
You have it.
You said you'd give it to me when I needed it.
"I'm sorry."
"Just once."
[17 minutes]
Suddenly, I remembered the doctor's words—that this new drug would be more addictive than the last.
Right, the drug was addictive.
"First, calm down."
He should give me a sedative, then.
There's no time.
"Ah, haha."
I tried to calm down, but I couldn't.
My heart was pounding wildly.
[10 minutes]
Before I knew it, only ten minutes were left.
Why is time disappearing so quickly?
"It hurts. I'm telling you, it hurts. I need to use the drug."
In desperation, I grabbed Han Si-hoo's collar.
Han Si-hoo's eyes wavered.
Now, it was truly dangerous.
I needed the drug.
I reached for the vial Han Si-hoo was holding.
-Smack!
My fingers brushed against the vial, but I couldn't grasp it.
The vial slipped from Han Si-hoo's hand.
The vial fell.
Down.
Down.
To the floor.
Crack.
There was a shattering sound.
The fallen glass.
It broke.
The liquid inside spilled onto the floor.
My happiness, spilling away.
My mind went blank.
"Ah."
This wasn't what I meant to happen.
The blue liquid spread across the floor.
I couldn't process the information before my eyes.
[7 minutes]
Shards of broken glass scattered everywhere.
The blue drug inside was on the floor.
Why on the floor?
My mind went blank.
For a moment, I stood frozen in place.
"W-wait. I'll get something to clean it up."
Han Si-hoo said, heading toward the entrance.
He looked very flustered.
[2 minutes]
Five minutes disappeared?
It couldn't have been a minute.
Time evaporated at a shocking rate.
I need the drug.
I have a syringe.
The drug is on the floor.
Let's say I somehow managed to get the drug into the syringe.
With my trembling hands, it would be difficult to inject it properly.
I saw the blue liquid pooled on the floor.
Would it work if I just drank it?
I've never tried drinking this one before, but I thought it would probably work.
I knelt and picked up a shard of glass.
A small amount of the drug had pooled in it.
I drank it.
Gulp.
The drug brushed past my tongue and went down my throat.
It tasted a little sour.
Like vinegar?
My throat felt like it was on fire.
[1 minute]
The timer kept ticking down.
Why?
Was the dose too small?
Should I have used a syringe after all?
No, even with a syringe, it would be difficult.
What should I do?
When Han Si-hoo comes out of the room, he'll stop me from taking the drug.
How am I supposed to use it?
It's all pooled on the floor.
I tried to scoop it up with my hands, but it didn't work.
Of course it wouldn't.
What clung to my fingers wasn't enough.
There was only one way.
I leaned my body down.
I licked the liquid pooled on the floor.
It was hard to lick up.
It seemed to be mixed with glass shards and dust.
I still felt terrible.
I felt like a dog.
[1 minute]
But at least the timer didn't drop any further.
That was a relief.
That was close.
"Yoo Seo-ah!"
Han Si-hoo grabbed me and pulled me back up.
A piece of glass fell from my arm.
Blood seeped from my palm.
Since I was half-crouched on the floor, something got on my arm too.
I'd been cut by a glass shard.
[3 minutes]
Han Si-hoo seemed to be saying something beside me.
It still felt like something was missing.
But I'll endure it.
I'm someone who knows self-control.
It's not an addiction.
I only drank it because there was no other choice.
Han Si-hoo took me somewhere.
I wasn't planning on drinking any more of the drug anyway.
Using too much at once is lethal.
The doctor said even water has a lethal dose.
So what about a drug?
I had to be especially careful in a situation like this, where I couldn't measure the dose.
I'm not an idiot.
I couldn't just drink it all recklessly when it might be a lethal dose.
And I didn't want to swallow glass shards.
I spat out a small piece of glass that was in my mouth.
Something thick and salty coated my tongue.
The taste of iron.
Was I bleeding?
Anyway, I didn't swallow the glass.
Probably.
[15 minutes]
The timer went up a little.
I could think rationally again.
Were the drug's effects slowly kicking in?
I felt strange.
I didn't know what had just happened.
There was a blue drug.
"Huh."
There was blood on my hand.
It didn't hurt, so I figured it wasn't my blood.
It was someone else's blood.
Who else was here?
Han Si-hoo.
Was Han Si-hoo hurt?
"Sorry."
I tried apologizing with a smile.
There's a saying that you can't spit on a smiling face.
But his reaction was strange.
It didn't seem like it was my fault Han Si-hoo was hurt.
I looked down at my hand.
It kept bleeding.
It was me who was hurt.
Can't I even remember what I just did?
Bandages, where are the bandages?
The drug wears off faster when I'm bleeding.
I know that from an experiment I did a while back.
[13 minutes]
Ah, damn it.
I think I need a little more of the drug.
The timer was dropping faster than it was rising.
Where's the drug?
There's still some spilled on the floor.
I have to go back.
"Let go of me."
Han Si-hoo grabbed me.
"Hey, I need to use the drug."
Fear.
I couldn't understand his determination to stop me from using it.
If I didn't take it right now, I'd really want to die.
"I'm going to use the drug."
"I'll give you some, so just wait."
"Okay."
My earnest plea worked.
He really is the protagonist.
He knows how to show at least a minimum of mercy.
[11 minutes]
I calmed down a little.
[10 minutes]
I'm not calming down.
My heart is racing.
I forced myself to calm down.
But there was no way that would work.
Taking the drug makes me happy.
I should have been happy without it in the first place.
Why am I in this kind of situation?
Because Han Si-hoo wouldn't give me the drug?
In the end, the blue drug spilled all over the floor.
How happy would I have been if I could have put all of it into a syringe?
The vial was broken.
My happy days were gone.
I trusted him.
I thought he'd give me the drug.
Han Si-hoo just didn't believe me.
He doesn't think of me as a friend.
At best, I'm just someone to be managed.
The situation might have made it seem like I was overdosing, but still.
"Here."
Gulp.
I swallowed the pill Han Si-hoo brought.
[43 minutes]
The drug's effect was replenished.
"Thank you."
I expressed my gratitude.
For him to take care of me like this even though we're not friends, it must be because he's a good person.
There's no other explanation.
As time passed, my surroundings felt warmer than usual.
I was happy again.
It was as if I could see a clear sky.
"...Aheheh."
There was a rose in my hand.
How strange.
Red.
A bouquet that would make a fine gift.
It would be nice to tie it with a ribbon.
I just so happened to have one.
The one Han Si-hoo gave me.
It was in my pocket.
Placing it on my hand, it really looked like a bouquet.
The red petals stained the ribbon, too.
"Where did the flower go?"
Only a blood-stained hand and a blood-stained ribbon remained.
I'm not in my right mind.
Becoming even more of a piece of trash.
[41 minutes]
Han Si-hoo was on the phone with someone, examining a syringe filled with the drug.
He looked rushed.
Is he planning to give me more?
41 minutes is cutting it a bit close.
Now the ribbon was dripping from my hand.
Whether it melted or fell to the ground.
It was hard to tell.
Is it because I drank the drug?
It's not meant for drinking.
There was blood in my mouth, too.
"Aha... hah."
I think I feel better, though.
My head hurts.
I picked up a syringe that had fallen on the floor.
I'd failed to fill it, but a small amount was still inside.
Even if the needle was damaged, I just stuck it in.
-Plunge.
[1 hour 18 minutes]
He won't believe me even if I say I didn't use it.
So let's just say I did.
I don't have the confidence to persuade him anymore.
If I were Han Si-hoo, I'd find it hard to believe too.
Plunge. Plunge. Plunge. Plunge.
I just kept stabbing.
It's fun.
The timer doesn't go up, though.
Syringes are meant to be disposable.
Reusing them is dangerous.
Stab. Crunch.
The syringe broke as I was stabbing.
It's weaker than I thought.
Now my head really hurts.
Han Si-hoo finished his call and ran over.
Thud.
With a dull thud, I fell sideways.
Get up.
I'm not weak, so I can get up.
Flump.
I tried to get up again but failed.
Han Si-hoo caught my head just in time, so there was no thud.
[1 hour 9 minutes]
Han Si-hoo was beside me.
He seemed to be asking if I was okay.
-Plunge.
Is that the drug?
[11 hours 12 minutes]
This is a sedative.
My consciousness faded.
How does Han Si-hoo see me?
Why won't he give me the drug?
If I think about it, the answer will come.
I pictured myself objectively.
The syringes on the floor.
The broken vial.
The unwrapped bandages.
The liquid leaking from the syringe.
What is that.
A serious addict.