For the Perfect Woman, Part 1
Last night, I had finally remembered my original mission.
After finishing mass and breakfast, I quickly pulled out the communication device.
"What is it this early in the morning?"
That damn old man. He must be living a ridiculously comfortable life.
His face was practically glistening with grease.
"Could you... tell me about the key targets again?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Wasn't the whole reason I came to the academy to protect the key targets?"
"Was it?"
It was one thing for me to forget, but he shouldn't have!
It wasn't a joke; he had genuinely forgotten.
"Let's be honest here. You forgot, didn't you?"
"Well, knowing what kind of place that is, 'protection' is basically just surveillance anyway. That's probably why it slipped my mind."
"Regardless of what kind of place it is, they are still officially key targets, aren't they?"
After the dormitory incident, I realized the students here were far more unhinged than I had anticipated. Hearing this from a man who supposedly knew all about this place left me speechless.
"I think the Empress's side forgot about it too, though?"
"Pardon?"
"In missions like this, regular reports are a given. Have you ever sent one?"
I hadn't.
Ever since I dealt with that chief priest bastard, my life had been a chaotic blur. I had forgotten the mission itself, so there was no way I would have sent any reports.
"N-No."
"And I haven't heard a single word asking for updates on the situation either."
"What does that..."
If the Empress didn't care about the progress at all, why on earth did she ask me to take on this mission?
"It hasn't been long since I sent you those weapons, so I actually expected you to call and ask if there was a nun habit packed with dynamite."
"Why would I ask if such a ridiculous nun habit existed?"
"Well, obviously... Ahem. Never mind."
This guy. Don't tell me he had some sort of secret fling with a nun in the past? His reaction was suspiciously enthusiastic.
"Don't you dare flirt with a nun just because your third leg is still kicking. Before the Inquisitors even get to you, I'll blow that withered branch of yours to pieces."
"Hey! It's just advice from one man to another! Advice! And it's not withered!"
"A priest is a priest, not a man. How dare you..."
"Aigoo! I should have gotten you laid a long time ago!"
"Whatever. Just tell me who those key targets are again."
It wasn't that sleeping with a woman was inherently bad. The scriptures proudly commanded to go forth and multiply, so how could it be?
The problem was that priests and nuns were forbidden from doing so. But listening to this old man, it sounded like he had done plenty of dirty deeds behind closed doors. Are the Inquisitor bastards even doing their jobs?
"There are three in total. The next head of the Clocktower, the son of the Northern Margrave, and the daughter of the Hellsing family."
He listed them one by one, showing me their names and faces.
Among them were a familiar face and name.
"You don't need to worry about the Hellsing daughter."
"Why?"
"A murder case happened in the Academy Girls' Dormitory recently, and we solved it together."
"Did she look like she didn't need protection?"
"Protection? Please..."
Frankly, even if I tried to capture her using anti-magic, she was the kind of genius who would break it in an instant and lay waste to the surroundings.
"I've killed plenty of magic-spitters in my time, but this was the first time I actually felt intimidated."
"Well, if you're saying that, she must be fine. And if I had to add one more, there's the female disciple of that Sword Saint bastard."
"Did you know him?"
The curse word he used wasn't out of friendly familiarity; it was dripping with genuine disgust and irritation.
Seeing him curse at someone in a way he wouldn't even curse at the Pope, the guy was clearly not normal.
"Of course I do. We lived in the same era. He was a man obsessed with the sword, a man for whom the sword was everything. I even tried to stop Yuri when she said she was going to become his disciple."
"But seeing how strong she gets every time I see her, it seems like he's a damn good teacher?"
"Are you an idiot? That's because Yuri is exceptionally talented, not because that bastard taught her well."
"I take it your reason for adding her to the list isn't a positive one?"
"I told you. He's obsessed with the sword. But he was only on par with me; he couldn't get any stronger than that."
If he was on par with a man who could repel a Balrog without using divine power, that alone made him incredibly strong. But it seemed the Sword Saint was not satisfied.
"He was frustrated. He threw away his sword, claiming he had reached his limit, and he was a complete mess. What do you think happens to someone who becomes the disciple of a man like that?"
"They'd... become similar, I suppose."
"Judging by what happened with the ghost train and the cultist village, there doesn't seem to be any major issues yet, but keep an eye on her just in case."
I didn't report her split personality.
Even if Homer didn't care, I could already see the bureaucrats who would read the report later throwing a fit and demanding an immediate dispatch of Inquisitors.
"And as you probably know by now, very few of the students who go there are normal. There are far more who came because they have issues than those who came because they had nowhere else to learn."
"If they cause trouble, it's simple."
Whether it was the Margrave's son or the next head of the Clocktower, if they crossed the line, I'd just have to kill them. What else was there to do?
Whether it was an exorcist's garb or a regular priest's cassock, walking around the academy in clerical attire naturally drew attention.
Still, who would complain about a priest taking a stroll around the campus?
"Huh?"
"What is it, Father?"
"Nothing. I just felt like someone was watching us..."
"Oh... They are watching."
The superficial reason for wandering around the academy was the lingering resentment I had detected last time.
Leaving it alone would only birth a troublesome evil spirit, so I had to walk around and offer prayers. Luna was accompanying me.
We weren't even running, just walking side by side, yet the jiggling was so pronounced it entered my peripheral vision without me even turning my head.
"Should we just go back after all?"
"It is fine. You are not the problem, Sister. The problem lies with those bastards whose brains are ruled by their third legs."
Leaving the apologetic Luna behind, I glared fiercely at our surroundings. Only then did the staring eyes begin to disperse slightly.
Some shameless bastards still kept looking, but considering there was once a crazy bastard who literally ate a girl's panties, it was too much of a hassle to go and confront every single one of them.
"Above all, what we are about to do is something both priests and nuns must be capable of."
It was the work of cleansing places where resentment had accumulated, as well as erasing the spiritual scars left behind by demon worshippers or demons.
"First, here."
An empty lot on the eastern side of the academy grounds.
Though not severe, patches of blackened, discolored grass could be seen scattered among the weeds. The flattened indentations visible here and there suggested someone had done something unspeakable here. They must have had a remarkably strong stomach.
"If you take the proper stance and offer a prayer..."
"Wow!"
Perhaps because it had been a while since I assumed a reverent posture to pray, the Sun God seemed overly delighted.
Before I could even utter a word, a wave of light rippled outward, purifying the corrupted land and completely obliterating the resentment.
"Sigh. Skip this example. This only happened because of my divine power; it's not usually this simple."
"I-I see!"
Surely it wouldn't happen again.
Just in case, I looked up at the sky and silently whispered a plea for Him to restrain Himself before moving to the next location.
"We'll visit just one more place, and then we'll go have lunch."
"Yes!"
Our destination after the empty lot was the academy library.
Excluding the main order's archives, this was my first time visiting a proper library, and I felt a slight flutter of anticipation.
"This is my first time in a library!"
"Silence in the library."
All she had to do was keep her mouth shut, but she was puffing out her cheeks as if holding her breath.
"You just need to close your mouth."
"Phew. Yes...!"
Even if I told her there was no need to crouch down while speaking, she probably wouldn't listen.
She was still a long way from possessing the quiet dignity of a proper nun.
"Hmm."
It was an ordinary library.
Seeing the librarians organizing and moving books here and there, they seemed to have a genuine love for books, whatever their personalities might be.
Sniff, sniff.
"What are you doing, acting like a puppy sniffing out treats?"
Since there didn't seem to be anything suspicious hidden by the librarians inside, I was about to head out when she started sniffing the air.
"I think I smell blood."
"..."
There was no reason for the smell of blood to linger in a library.
It could have been Luna's imagination, but as someone who had seen her bury her nose in my clothes claiming she smelled blood, I decided to look around.
"Excuse me..."
A young man with neatly combed green hair, green eyes, and glasses—looking very much the scholar—approached us.
The badge pinned to his academy uniform marked him as a first-year, and above all, he was a familiar face.
Alastor Drail, the next head of the Clocktower and one of the key targets.
"Greetings. Do you have business with us?"
"I have business with the lady."
This bastard has lost his mind. How dare he try to hit on a nun.
"Pardon?"
"Haha. If your eyes function properly, you can see she is a nun."
"As far as I know, a fully ordained nun does not move around on external duties with a priest. The only exception is when a priest is instructing an apprentice."
He wasn't wrong. But so what?
"I fell in love at first sight. Would you grant me the honor of having a meal with you?"
"No."
"Pardon?"
"I said no. Father, let's finish up quickly and go eat. I'm hungry."
"Uh... Yes, let's."
I thought she might hesitate or stammer a bit, but she rejected him so bluntly that his handsome face froze completely.
Of course, I didn't let her get away with trying to link her arm with mine.
"Why is a nun acting so flighty and trying to link arms?"
"C-Can't I do it just this once?"
"It is precisely at times like this that you must show decorum. This is why pests like him swarm around you."
"Hing..."
The Frelia Pub, one of the few places in the city where one could enjoy a quiet drink.
As usual, the employees had clocked in and were leisurely chatting while preparing to open.
"Vander, what is the matter?"
Frelia, who was sipping a cocktail at the bar counter while watching them, noticed the shadow cast over the face of Vander, the bartender and assistant manager.
"Melina hasn't come to work."
"Melina...? Ah, the girl who was born and raised here?"
"Yes. She was always diligent, but she suddenly didn't show up today."
"Perhaps she overslept? Let's wait a bit."
But in the end, Melina never showed up.
Seeing the dark expression on the face of her most cherished subordinate, Frelia couldn't just sit idle.
Since business was temporarily suspended anyway due to the lingering smell of the sea, she dispatched her familiars to search the city while she headed toward Melina's house.
I live in this city for the money, but I truly despise this place.
She had heard the rumors before coming, but living here in person was a completely different story.
Even in broad daylight, children were forced to move in pairs, and going out at night was practically forbidden. It was a city devoid of any human warmth.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Melina's room was no different.
It was a room where resentment slowly accumulated as one tenant died, passed their belongings to the next, who then died in turn.
"Huh?"
Among the heavily worn items, there was a single, pristine diary.
Out of respect for privacy, she shouldn't open it, but a witch had no reason to care about such trivialities.
She carefully opened it.
Inside were the typical complaints of a young adult in her twenties—how the new job was good, how the previous job was terrible, and so on.
At first, I was scared. A man being kind to someone like me?
But after meeting him for several days, I could feel his sincerity.
Tomorrow, I think I'll follow him.
"Sigh. What a naive child..."
She didn't believe Melina was still alive. In this city, disappearance was synonymous with death.
I hate to owe that man a favor, but I have no choice.
Frelia could have taken action herself, but she didn't want to poke a hornets' nest and provoke Dante.