Episode 032: Magic Department Building, 6th Floor
Isn't this menhera, yandere stuff?
Magic Department building, 6th floor. Right in the middle of my lab, some harsh punishment was in full swing.
"Again. Properly. If your arms drop, you're out."
"Hiiing…."
Lily made a miserable face as she stretched both arms straight out in front of her. One hand held a thick Intro to Magic textbook, while the other fanned her face furiously.
Even though I'd ordered it, it looked ridiculous for a saintess. But both she and I were desperate. I had nowhere else to be, and she had nowhere to go if I kicked her out.
"M-my arms hurt a bit…."
Swoosh. Her arms started to give in to gravity, dipping ever so slightly.
How dare you!
"Hey! Is gravity your buddy now? Looks like you're about to high-five the floor."
"Hwik! Sorry!"
At my sharp command, Lily jolted and shot her arms back up high. I nodded in satisfaction, then glanced to the side.
Next to her stood a brown furball, a white furball, and a gray-feathered puffball, all lined up in a row.
Squirrel, rabbit, sparrow. These jerky gang thugs were no exceptions.
They were standing on their hind legs, front paws clasped together, doing their best to take their punishment.
The sparrow perched on the edge of a chair back instead of a perch, wings folded, head bowed.
That's when the squirrel snuck a glance and tried to lower its paws.
This little shit?
I pulled a bag of jerky from my pocket and shook it.
Crissssh!
The moment the sound hit, their eyes snapped wide open.
"Move a muscle, and that one's off jerky for life. Not even crumbs."
Thwack! It worked like a charm. The squirrel snapped back to attention, the rabbit perked up its ears into a rigid stance, and even the sparrow clamped its beak shut like a statue.
Unbelievable.
"These damn things… Spoil 'em rotten, give 'em whatever they want, and they think I'm a pushover?"
I'd already sent Professor Iris packing. Part of me wanted to line her up at the end and make her hold her arms up too.
But hey, she's my teacher and a professor. Having her punished alongside beasts? Nah.
'Knight extermination is strictly 19+ only.'
So I'd shooed her out with, "Professor sis, beat it. Unless you wanna join the punishment."
And she'd gone, "Thanks…." trailing behind.
Her retreating figure had the social-phobic saintess silently screaming for her to stay. Quite the sight.
"Um, Kasian… sir…."
Lily called out in a quavering voice.
"What."
"Th-the squirrel's drooling…."
"Let it. It's karma."
"I think I'm gonna drool too… The jerky smell."
Ridiculous. Twenty years old and bragging about that?
"Suck it up. What good's a saintess who can't beat her appetite?"
"Uuu…."
Lily pouted like she was wronged but didn't dare rebel. I was the crazy dictator of this turf.
How much time had passed? Lily's arms were trembling like aspen leaves, sweat beading on her forehead.
The rabbit had already lost its balance and was wobbling.
I magnanimously waved my hand.
"Enough. At ease."
"Haaa…."
Lily collapsed with a deep sigh. The three furballs flopped belly-down on the floor.
She rubbed her sore arms with a groan but looked up at me with relief, not resentment.
Truly an unadaptable character.
I dragged a chair over and sat in front of her.
"Now you're ready to talk."
"…That was prep?"
"Yep. Had to cool my head so your story might actually sink in."
Otherwise, I'd have yeeted her out the window at the first word. Sixth floor and all.
Lily mumbled like she was wronged but soon flattened herself submissively.
"Sorry… For barging in without warning."
"Good you know. But you waltzed in grinning like it was no big deal."
"…."
"Tried to play it off without gauging the situation, right?"
She flinched at my sharp point and averted her eyes. But then she shook her head vigorously and dropped a bombshell.
"N-no, it wasn't playing it off… I was really just happy to see you, Kasian…."
"What?"
Okay, now cut the act for real.
"Me? Why?"
Lily fidgeted with her hands and mumbled shyly.
"Well… I thought you led me here… So…."
"…."
Oh. Creepy.
A chill ran down my spine. How do you twist your brain that hard to spit out such nonsense?
"Led you? I led you? Are you nuts?"
Did you take your meds?
At my dumbfounded question, Lily's voice shrank even more as she hemmed and hawed.
"I really thought… you gave me that problem… Or maybe not…?"
"When did I ever give you a 'problem' to make you think that? You think I'm the Sphinx or something?"
"No, it's not that…."
She rolled her eyes, then launched into her deduction process with a face full of realization.
"Um… Do you remember? You told me… A lab room's pointless for me, just pretend it doesn't exist…."
Yeah, I did. 'Cause your situation sucked.
"I thought about that a lot. Why pointless? Why pretend it doesn't exist? And…."
She swallowed hard.
"The conclusion I reached… was maybe you already knew. That I was desperately running from someone…."
…Fuck?
"I'd kinda guessed last time too…."
"What? When."
The thought of being found out made my words come out harsh. But Lily didn't notice, barreling on with her theory.
"At the incinerator, when you ran into that person… and lied about never seeing me…."
Oh. Leaving aside calling him "that person" even now.
Oh. Oh nooo!
"So if I got my own lab… pinning down the location would let that person find me, leaving no escape. You were warning me indirectly… That's what I thought…."
Whoa. Goosebumps.
Spot on.
I was speechless. This airheaded pufferfish had a sharper mind than I thought?
Up to here, it was facts. But Lily didn't stop. She leaped from facts into wild speculation.
"So how did you know? I pondered that too… And I figured the rumor with Lady Rosenberg was the key. I'd heard you two were pretty close…."
"Wait, hold up. Stop. Why does her name pop up there?"
I flailed my hands in panic.
"Close with who? Elisia? We're not. If I'm playing in the dirt, she's just watching."
"…Liar."
"For real."
"But you said you weren't close with me either, yet you knew all about my situation."
"…."
Damn, good hit. Words caught in my throat.
"That was… just a hunch."
"See? Your hunches are spot on, so you must've dug into my situation through her, or the Palace Count, or whatever channels…!"
"…."
"…Right?"
Lily beamed like she'd nailed me, then met my eyes and slowly looked away.
Couldn't exactly say, "Think my dad's got time on his hands?"
A crown prince eyeing another girl while engaged? That's Palace Count territory.
"S-so I took your warning as a problem… Personal lab's dangerous, so figure out a safe spot yourself… That's what I thought…."
Her eyes gradually dropped to the floor.
"…And the answer was here, your lab…."
"…You sound embarrassed the whole time?"
Deduction at this level was brain-breaking. Like plotting an original murder in volume 88 of a long-running mystery manga to dodge the pattern repetition accusation.
…Nod.
"…Yeah, a lot."
Sigh.
"…Sorryyy."
Why pull this brain-melting crap?
I was floored. It seemed logical, but the thought process was utterly deranged. How do you even process that?
As I sat there stunned, Lily took my silence as affirmation. Her face flushed red again.
This time from shame.
"Of course… I know my social phobia made me overthink it."
She scraped the floor with her foot, head bowed like she wanted to crawl into a hole.
"You probably didn't think that deeply or care for me that much… I know it's self-indulgent…."
"…."
She was on the verge of flipping out from embarrassment, and I could only imagine her humiliation.
"N-now I don't think that anymore, so I'm so sorry and embarrassed. I got ahead of myself, right?"
Lily looked ready to burst into tears. Shame from her delusion being exposed, guilt for putting quiet me in this spot.
Ugh. A full Chuseok gift set of feels.
'So what now?'
The mess was made. Bags unpacked, animals infiltrated.
I sighed deeply, rubbing my forehead.
The conclusion sucked, but I couldn't refute it. The puzzle pieces fit too perfectly.
'Fuck… I dug my own grave.'
My nagging advice had been well-intentioned, sure. But for her to dissect, connect, and spin it into a novel?
'Fucking scary.'
The original's awakening episode wasn't for nothing. This pufferfish had depths.
Isn't this menhera, yandere stuff?
'What do I dooo….'
Lily wanted to shove her head in a mouse hole and hide right then.
She couldn't take kindness at face value—instead, she'd analyzed and dissected it wildly. It felt so insidious and pathetic now.
She'd done the exact same as the stalker she despised.
How had her delusions spiraled this deep?
She wanted to explain. But she couldn't.
'It hurts. It hurts so much, but….'
How do you say you flailed for survival and messed up? That trusting recklessly got you killed once, leaving trauma?
It was true she'd died that way. But now she was alive and kicking.