Hate-Theory Sweet Potatoes Are Overwhelmingly Best Served Crushed Flat
"Though our beginning was humble, our end shall be magnificent."
Anyway, they say even a mouse hole gets its day in the sun, and it turned out that not absolutely everything here had gone sideways after all.
More than anything, the crucial discovery was that unlike the other users, my path to development was astonishingly smooth and uneventful.
Just as I was reacting like a genuine middle school girl, reading through the tales of these grizzled veterans going on about their hard-won solutions—
"Master, as of this moment, allow me to congratulate you on becoming the ruler of the Milano Star System."
"H-hueeh, hueeeeh! W-wait just a second, what on earth are you talking about all of a sudden, Adjutant Adjutant?"
"A moment ago, we absorbed the remaining members of the People's Party wholesale, and in the process secured unanimous negotiations with Directors Scala Cervello, Robert Salandra, and Shirogane Yuki, establishing that governing authority over the Milano Star System rests with us."
"Huh?"
"Of course, in exchange, each branch had to be granted certain business rights and shares within the star system — a matter that now requires your payment authorization, Master, but..."
"That's one thing, but — so the star system is ours, star system-wise?"
"That is correct."
Right as I was unwinding with a full-body massage courtesy of Ggomuli's lewd, mucous tentacles, this message had popped up out of nowhere, and then Elena had walked in and delivered her answer just like that.
The result: I found myself nursing the thought that even if I couldn't manage solutions 'number one and number three' the veterans had proposed, number two, at least, might be resolved in short order.
Of course, with no way of knowing exactly how long that 'short order' would turn out to be, checking the Status Window first seemed the wisest course of action...
"Whoa, that's fast as hell."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Oh, nothing. Never mind."
As if my worries had never needed to exist in the first place, the honorable Status Window practically shouted 'about to clear, you're welcome' right there in the mission list. The moment I saw it, I deliberated briefly, made a supreme, suuuuupreme effort to maintain my composure, and then...
...was what I should have done, my ass.
I promptly censored an appropriate amount of the image and uploaded it to the gallery, deciding to hold a triumphant bragging session instead.
Granted, in the process some of the anonymous lurkers who got tilted by this behavior of mine started frothing at the mouth, spewing kill-or-be-killed comments — but whatever.
Because whether they raged or not, back in my own head, the problem that had been gnawing away at my sanity had vanished, and dopamine was flooding out with the refreshing relief of a long-suffering patient finally having that rotten tooth pulled.
So what the users said was none of my concern; I simply basked in the moment.
And so, having managed to resolve the serious problem that had been dumped in our laps, one way or another—
"Pyahaha, it's Magical☆Tea Time-☆!"
"Aha!"
"So then, what do you plan to give us, Benya-chan☆?"
"Pay us in advance."
"Pfahahaha! What a funny joke☆... Oh, hold on. You're serious?"
"Nope, kidding~."
"I knew you were☆"
Ungar Wick Silver (self-styled 'Shirogane Yuki') — a person who had shed the shell of a trans-abled Black woman and successfully evolved into a glowing-pink tanned magical girl — and I held our tea time while conducting the small-scale negotiations.
"So the Earth Alliance wishes to hold a portion of the public security authority, is that it?"
"A portion, you say? Benya-chan, I can see that sneaky tendency of yours to downplay things."
"Hehe."
"You see, once one becomes a magical girl or magical boy, one tends to develop an instinctive obsession with maintaining order."
"Ah, so what you want is authority over 'justice activities,' is that it?"
"And while we're at it — since it's all lawful public security work, don't you go arresting anyone, alright☆"
"That's rather chaotic. And what on earth is a magic workshop? A hero-suit research laboratory? A hunter clan?"
"All things our Earth Alliance members need, of course☆"
While having them establish a Magical☆Public Security Force, separate from the existing police and security troops within the star system —
and as a bonus, in exchange for handing over star system authority, commissioning projects that made me wonder whether we'd blown past fusion punk and straight into the setting itself being warped—
"We, after all, had already settled everything ages ago, fufufu."
"Ngyaaaaah—!"
"We merely had to 'pretend' so the other branches wouldn't notice, but in truth, we had long since resolved to become one heart and one body with you. So long as the activities and blasphemies of those utterly wicked heretics leave us be, these soft cheeks of mine shall serve as the payment."
"You certainly know what you're doing, Director Cervello."
"NgyaaAAAAH—!"
Behind the scenes, they had already committed to joining us wholeheartedly, just like Heisenberg, providing full support in exchange for a place at our side.
But since none of that had been made public, they put on the show of negotiating for various privileges in the Milano Star System — and in the middle of that drawn-out negotiation theater, I suffered the coordinated assault of Scala and Elena pinching and tugging at my cheeks together.
And last but not least, the director of the ACIC branch — who had played the role of super-save and greatest supporter in our takeover of the Milano Star System — one 'Robert Salandra'...
"Unlike the previous regime, you have guaranteed our business interests to the utmost while attempting even further expansion on our behalf — in other words, we have received compensation far beyond ample."
"Hueeeh."
"Greed is a fundamental element of capitalism, but overindulgence in it is a highway to ruin. We shall be satisfied with shares in immigration and emigration to the Milano Star System, and with our relationship with your side growing all the closer."
"Hmmm, really and truly?"
"If you wished, you could demand even more."
"Ah."
Salandra — a fat old man who looked, to anyone's eye, like a master practitioner of the Breeding Press — not only maintained a surprisingly reasonable attitude, but contrary to his appearance and rumors, turned out to be anything but rapaciously greedy, handing things over smoothly and without fuss.
And with that, I realized that the Milano Star System had now, truly and definitively, fallen perfectly into our hands without a single trace of anyone's interference — and for some strange reason, I felt my heart grow terribly, terribly troubled.