This Month's Model Anomaly
It had been an hour since I unintentionally beat the living hell out of that poor, malnourished clown old man.
I sat in a surprisingly spacious room. There was even a camera pointed at me.
Pretty big for an interrogation room.
Beside me, my crybaby childhood friend had been sniffling nonstop for the entire hour.
“…Hic. Sob.”
“Yu Seo-ah. Knock it off.”
“Okay… Hup!!”
Seo-ah bit her lip hard, her eyes swollen and red. She had cried so much that her shirt was basically see-through.
At least it’s black.
Anyway.
“…I was so worried something had happened to you, oppa. I really was.”
“Something is happening to me right now.”
Sitting across from me was Tatiana, performing her role as both Captain of the Quarantine Special Task Force and Chief Researcher.
Or rather, that was what I had decided to call her from now on.
That blonde psycho…!
I asked again, as politely as I could manage.
“A man was beaten half to death. Why the hell were you people taking pictures? Every last one of you was snapping away like those trashy scoop reporters.”
“It was part of the quarantine procedure. Thanks to you, SIN-998, it was completed remarkably smoothly.”
“You’re still acting? We’re not communicating at all here.”
“…Hmm.”
I had expected to be questioned for involuntary manslaughter, but the mood felt strangely positive.
Tatiana exchanged a few words with the armed task force members standing at attention behind her.
“SIN-998. First, as Captain of the Quarantine Special Task Force, I wish to express my gratitude.”
“What?”
“The number of casualties was far lower than anticipated. It is almost unbelievable that the containment of SIN-766 failed.”
This woman. She was sticking to the script even now.
Or maybe she was actually insane?
“The higher-ups have begun showing interest in you. It is rare for an Epsilon-class entity. Subduing a Delta-class entity single-handedly appears to have made a significant impression.”
“This is moving way too fast.”
I was ignored.
“Accordingly, the Management Bureau’s Personnel Support Division has decided to award you a medal. …Is the camera rolling?”
“Yes. SIN-998, please stand before the podium. The Captain will personally pin the medal on you.”
When I glared at them sullenly, two task force members hauled me to my feet. Seo-ah, who had been beside me, was now beaming brightly.
At this point I finally understood what this insane attraction was really about.
These bastards are a criminal organization!?
They give an award to the guy who turned someone into a paraplegic? Even the devil wouldn’t come up with that. Where the hell are the police??
Unfortunately, my shit-eating expression had zero effect.
After a short congratulatory speech, Tatiana pinned the medal to my chest.
“Congratulations, SIN-998. This is the This Month’s Model Anomaly Medal. Assistant Researcher Yu Seo-ah?”
“Yes! It will be posted on the internal intranet and the company bulletin board! Now, please shake hands with the Captain!”
Clap, clap, clap, clap.
A dozen task force members and researchers applauded. Tatiana’s lips curved up ever so slightly as she pointed at the camera.
“998. Smile. …Wider. The higher-ups will be watching.”
“Ehehe…”
“Excellent. A perfectly idiotic smile.”
I thought this was going to be a mugshot. Why the hell did it turn into a commemorative photo?
These crazy bastards…
I had enough sense not to say it out loud.
But now that I thought about it, Tatiana had called me 998. The SIN prefix was gone.
Anomaly Information
Serial Number: SIN-998
Alias: The Director
Risk Rating: Epsilon
SIN-998 / Interview Record #3
Interviewer: Base 277 Chief Researcher Tatiana Karstein
Interview Assistant: Base 277 Assistant Researcher Yu Seo-ah
Interviewee: SIN-998 The Director
Purpose: Additional investigation into anomalous properties related to the suppression of SIN-766
The interviewer, interview assistant, and interviewee are seated. The interview proceeds in a relatively amicable atmosphere.
Chief Researcher: 998. I would like to hear more details about how you subdued Clown Phobia. We estimate you possess several additional anomalous properties.
SIN-998: I thought it was WWE but it turned into UFC. That’s it.
Chief Researcher: What does that mean?
Assistant Researcher: I believe he is saying it was an unexpected accident.
Chief Researcher: …I see. 998, the higher-ups have recognized your contribution and, for this case only, have upgraded your security clearance. We may now discuss Clown Phobia’s anomalous properties and containment procedures.
SIN-998: How far did you people build this setting? Is the clown grandpa okay?
Chief Researcher: Of course he is not okay. He appears to be suffering from a form of PTSD. When shown your photograph he covered his eyes and screamed.
SIN-998: Maybe he has dementia. We’re screwed…
(Video playback)
When SIN-766 Clown Phobia is shown a photograph and audio recording of SIN-998 The Director, the entity suffers a seizure and screams.
Quarantine Special Task Force Paradise Lost Member: Looks exactly like a dog that just smelled tiger shit, sir.
Chief Researcher: SIG-11. Use more refined language. Also, do not interrupt the interview.
Quarantine Special Task Force Paradise Lost Member: …I will correct myself.
Assistant Researcher: SIN-998, the security door of your containment cell is made of [REDACTED] alloy. It is a metal that can withstand explosions. Could you tell us how you managed to damage it?
SIN-998: That’s just part of the setting. Anyone could tell it was aluminum or something. I just rammed it and it broke.
Chief Researcher: …Hmm. Very well. 998, Clown Phobia is immune to all forms of physical damage. Guns and blades naturally have no effect. Exactly how did you subdue it with your bare hands?
SIN-998: Another weird setting. Simple. Weight classes.
Chief Researcher: Could you elaborate?
SIN-998: Weight classes are weight classes. Look at my size. How could a skinny old man beat me? Weight class decides half the fight.
The interview has concluded.
Interviewer’s Note: It is estimated that SIN-998 possesses the anomalous property of altering reality according to what he perceives as common sense.
However, unlike typical reality benders or mages, no energy emissions such as psionic waves or mental fluctuations have been observed.
Further investigation by the Cognitive Technology Department and the Phenomenology Department is requested.
After the interview ended, I was moved to a different containment cell. I sat on the bed and studied the pure white walls while Yu Seo-ah and Tatiana observed my reaction.
What about the original cell? They said it would take two days to repair the door I had smashed.
They even have useless details like that perfected.
At this point I was starting to wonder if this wasn’t acting at all and the Management Bureau might actually exist.
“No way. I need to stop with the delusions.”
“998? Did you say something?”
“Nothing.”
The new containment cell was just a few doors down. There were faint bloodstains still on the floor.
The bed seemed brand new, and there was even a table and chair. This was actually livable.
“998. The furniture is new. Consider it a courtesy from the higher-ups.”
“I appreciate it. But it seems the way you address me has changed. You’re not putting SIN in front of it anymore?”
“Hmm…”
Tatiana hesitated. She could actually be kind of cute.
“It’s a good sign! The Chief only calls entities she views favorably by their numbers alone.”
“Assistant Researcher. You talk too much.”
“S-sorry!!”
I see, I see. So it’s a nickname.
If there were a favorability stat with Tatiana, this must mean it had gone up a little. They really thought of every little detail.
But the blonde psycho suddenly floored the accelerator with no warning lights.
“998. I want to examine every inch of your body.”
“Sexual harassment all of a sudden?”
“Examining every inch would be closer to sexual assault. Rest assured. I will not be the one doing it since we have not established rapport. You have a researcher you are already close with, don’t you?”
Tatiana jerked her chin toward Seo-ah.
“Assistant Researcher. We will be re-conducting SIN-998’s physical examination.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“Nice!! …Ahem! Understood. Leave it to me.”
Seo-ah cleared her throat and tried to look dignified.
About ten minutes later, I lay shirtless on a medical bed.
“Wow……”
“Seo-ah. You have work to do.”
“Ah, right, right… *gulp*.”
The way her hand brushed my skin felt more like she was tracing the lines of my muscles.
“You’re not having dirty thoughts, are you?”
“N-no way. What are you talking about? We’ve already seen everything there is to see, oppa.”
That was when we were kids. After puberty we obviously hadn’t.
Objectively speaking, my body was in good shape. I was just born this way. Something about having a strong frame.
And Seo-ah also seemed to have been blessed with quite… quite a lot.
“Mmm… vitals are normal…”
When Seo-ah leaned forward, our bodies pressed together. Something soft kept touching me, and a sweet scent kept drifting over. I was going to react if this continued.
“Hup.”
I held my breath and suppressed my lower half.
Who would have thought my Marine Corps experience would come in handy like this.
“Oppa? What are you doing?”
I’m busy trying not to get hard.
I couldn’t let her notice, so I changed the subject!
“Seo-ah. Why do you do this job?”
“Huh? Well, because the entire human race knows about the Management Bureau now…”
Seo-ah paused while fiddling with some complicated device. Her expression grew slightly serious.
“…There are many anomalies that cannot control their own properties. Quite a few possess intelligence. Simply existing makes them disasters. It’s tragic for humanity and for the entities themselves. …That’s why I want to help.”
Seo-ah looked down at me with steady eyes.
“I want to help you, oppa.”
No matter how much of an act this was.
Hearing something like that to my face was bound to stir my heart.
I reflexively reached out and stroked Yu Seo-ah’s glossy black hair. In an instant her face melted into a silly steamed-bun smile.
“Hehehehe… Ah, no! Stop petting me! I’m an Assistant Researcher and you’re an anomaly!!”
I should have a few kids with her.
At this level, thinking about grandchildren would still be perfectly legal.
The physical examination revealed no particular abnormalities, and it was just about to end when—
Clack.
The door opened and Tatiana walked in. She seemed slightly less guarded than she had been a few days ago.
But her expression was not good.
“998, I am sorry. Even with my authority I could not stop it. …The Cognitive Technology Department has reclassified your risk rating.”
“What? Y-you’re lying, right? What do we do…!”
Seo-ah’s face crumpled into tears in an instant while Tatiana looked troubled.
“998. As of this moment, you are a Delta-class anomaly.”
Ultra-fast promotion!?
I had escaped from being a nobody!
Hey, Lee Ju-hee.
My proud mother. Are you watching from heaven?
Your son is Delta-class now!!!
But why am I the only one smiling like an idiot?