Macho Bingo
It was the second day since I’d been quarantined.
I felt a sense of unease.
‘Does this even make sense?’
A small fortress prepared just for me. Inside the white quarantine room, I looked down at the meal tray.
“Sausage stir-fried with vegetables. Oxtail soup.”
It passes.
“There’s even PX frozen dumplings?”
But I refuse, you bastards! This is military chow!
Ah, no. Let’s calm down. My brother always told me to maintain dignity in both words and thoughts.
When I looked up, I spotted a surveillance camera in the corner. They apparently wanted to watch every bite of my mukbang.
I waved at it.
“Hey. Can you hear me?”
“……”
“Stop spectating and answer.”
“I’m listening, SIN-998.”
An emotionless yet subtly beautiful woman’s voice. It was the special task force captain I’d met yesterday.
“Why are you still here? Don’t you go home?”
“That’s my business. Do you have something to say?”
“Thanks for the rice thief, but why is the menu military chow?”
“……Weren’t you the one who wanted military chow?”
“As if.”
The conversation ended in an instant.
Since I’d made a polite protest, the food should improve tomorrow, right?
Anyway, I felt uneasy.
Does it make sense that I alone didn’t know about the Management Bureau?
No matter how short my education was as a middle-school graduate, it seemed impossible.
‘Is this a Common Sense Alteration or something?’
No, no. There’s a far more logical and sensible inference.
Perhaps…?
Knock knock.
I was on the verge of an epiphany when the quarantine room’s iron door opened and a familiar person walked in.
“Oh. Seo-ah.”
“Oppa!! …No! Ahem. SIN-998. I’m Yu Seo-ah, the assigned assistant researcher.”
She’d shown up in a white coat over her shirt. Her exceptionally large chest made the buttons look like they were fighting for their lives.
A few burly men followed on either side. Unlike before, they weren’t pointing guns at me.
“Is the food to your liking? Any discomfort?”
“Why the sudden formal speech?”
“I-it’s an official setting. Please understand my situation.”
“Got it. Perfect timing. I finally figured it out.”
I smiled faintly.
“This is a sweet immersive prank, isn’t it? Thanks.”
“Pardon?”
“I don’t know how you pulled it off, but you planned this for my birthday, right? How did you even know I like weird Management Bureau stuff?”
“…Pardon?”
Logically speaking, this had to be it.
I didn’t know how much money they’d poured in, but this was clearly a facility for enthusiasts of the weird and bizarre.
I was enjoying the program as a VIP guest.
“Quite the attraction. I was fooled into thinking it was real all day. The actors have serious professional spirit.”
“………Pardon?”
Her responses were getting slower and slower.
Seo-ah frowned with a pouty face and glanced at the surveillance camera.
She seemed to be mouthing something.
‘What-should-I-do?’
You clumsy girl. Why make it visible to me?
After a brief silence, the special task force captain’s tired voice flowed from the speaker.
“…SIN-998. However you perceive the current situation is your freedom. As long as you cooperate with us, that’s all that matters.”
“Ah. That kind of setting?”
“……”
Oops!
She was pouring her heart into the acting, so I should play along, right?
“Cooperate? Is there more to do here?”
“No. Just staying quiet like now is enough. You’re doing very well. Entities with this level of cooperativeness are rare. Thank you.”
I’d been praised.
But they couldn’t possibly think I’d fall for mere praise.
Time to test how far this special task force captain actress’s method acting could go.
“Special task force captain, did you feed the kids at my orphanage curry?”
“Um. I did. The facility’s meal officer…”
“No. Did you feed them?”
“………What?”
“The cooperation condition was making curry and feeding them.”
“………Me?”
“You.”
A long silence followed. She sounded pretty pissed.
Yu Seo-ah fidgeted anxiously in front of me.
“O-oppa? The special task force captain is a pretty high-ranking person…?”
“You’re supposed to use formal speech.”
“Right, right! So please speak more politely.”
“This is as polite as it gets.”
The men who’d come with her exchanged glances, chattering about how I lacked common sense.
‘Wow. Even the extras are giving it their all?’
I was getting a little excited.
I needed to give these people the best guest reaction possible!
Clap clap clap clap clap.
I stood and gave a standing ovation, then flashed a thumbs-up.
“Oppa…?”
“I’ll give it five stars when I leave. I’ll write a glowing review too. I’ll spread the word around the neighborhood so you can sit on a pile of money.”
While the extra men whispered among themselves, the door clanked open. A petite woman stood at the entrance to the corridor.
Her tight bodysuit revealed every curve of her figure.
Her short bob haircut sparkled gold under the lights, and her sharp, upturned green eyes stared straight at me.
‘Cat-like…!’
The expressionless face was killer.
Her face was totally my type. No doubt about it.
“……”
The woman stared at me intently.
“Self-introduction time? Fine. The setting is SIN-998… Real name is Lee Shin. I’m the director of Haetsal Orphanage.”
“…Move. I’m coming in.”
I recognized the voice?
Come to think of it, her small build was the same too?
“Tatiana Karstein. Captain of the Quarantine Special Task Force .”
“I was just building some inner intimacy.”
“That’s only you.”
Wow. Even the sharp response. She really was cat-like.
I’d love to get her number, but I looked pretty intimidating, and she was just acting.
‘Let’s observe proper etiquette.’
I sat down obediently.
As Tatiana approached, Seo-ah bowed her head.
“I’ll take over from here.”
“Y-yes, Chief!”
Chief?
She had multiple titles?
As if guessing my question, Tatiana let out a short sigh.
“Let me introduce myself again. Chief Researcher of Base 277, Tatiana.”
“Weren’t you the special task force captain?”
“Not at the moment.”
“Two jobs…? Side hustle?”
“Something like that. Since it’s our circumstances, I’d appreciate your understanding.”
Oh ho.
The Management Bureau always had that manpower-shortage setting. Still, one person doing two roles seemed a bit much.
But this level of dedication wasn’t even dedication anymore. Five stars maintained!
“I had to come for the regular interview anyway. I won’t ask for understanding about not wearing the researcher uniform.”
“I like this outfit better.”
“Is that so. Let’s begin the interview.”
She was as dry as her appearance suggested.
***
Tatiana took a sip of water and opened her mouth.
“SIN-998. I will fulfill the condition you requested. In three days, I will make curry for the orphanage children and feed them. You will accompany me.”
“Good news. I was about to forget the kids’ faces.”
I was honestly a little touched.
They’d even reflected the orphanage kids in the setting and were going to act out feeding them curry? Just how strong was their professional spirit?
It was nice, but.
‘This isn’t good. My prankster side keeps activating.’
How far could Tatiana (provisional) take her acting?
I held back my laughter.
“You’re going in three days?”
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
“Are you going to let the kids starve for three days?”
“…Do as you please. Since I’ll be the one suffering, ask whatever you want…”
She seemed to be gritting her teeth hard.
Yu Seo-ah was sweating bullets behind her, mouthing words.
‘O-ppa-! S-top-! I-’m-dy-ing-!’
Right. The setting was that Seo-ah was that woman’s subordinate.
I’d stop here.
When I raised both hands in apology, Tatiana pressed her forehead.
“…Yes. Still, it’s good that we can communicate at least this much. I have some simple questions. You can answer comfortably.”
“Will do.”
“From yesterday’s Q&A, it seems your common sense is somewhat lacking. So I brought something else.”
I looked at the document folder Tatiana handed over.
Let’s see…
- Middle school graduate O
- If sleepy while walking, just lie down and sleep O
- Turns off computer by pulling the plug O. Is there another way?
- Father is dead or in prison O
- Has a bounty on his head X. Too bad.
- When making an ID, hits keyboard with fist twice O
- Jumps from the 3rd floor or below O
“……”
Tatiana’s expression was growing darker by the second. From behind, Seo-ah whispered to her.
“It’s not a joke. He’s really like that…!”
“Assistant Researcher Yu Seo-ah. Are you telling me to believe that?”
I should just mind my own business.
I was one step away from completing the bingo!
Tatiana glared at me, unable to hold back any longer.
“Stop joking around. Your anomaly is ‘not knowing about the Management Bureau.’ No physical anomalies were detected.”
“I’ll show you directly.”
Thud!
When I stood and walked to the wall, the men flinched and raised their guns.
“Freeze! Freeze! Return to position!”
“Unexpected situation occurring!”
“…Lower your guns. Let’s see what he’s doing. High possibility of delusional disorder.”
Tatiana rested her chin on her hand and spoke with a bored expression.
Yu Seo-ah, on the contrary, wore an awkward smile. She must have remembered my nickname—the Yangjae-dong electric pole freak.
Climbing the wall was easy. The most important thing was the mindset that you could climb it.
And consistent daily training.
Stretch your hands out like this, then jam your fingers into the wall cracks in an instant…
Crack!!
My hand pierced straight through the wall. From there, I could pull myself up one arm at a time.
“Ah?”
A dumbfounded sound came from behind.
“…Isn’t that ultra-hardened concrete?”
Crack.Craaack.
“Watching carefully? This is my thanks for your acting. The fixed idea that you need a pickaxe for climbing is wrong. As long as it’s not too extreme, you can climb with your bare hands like this.”
I’d already reached the ceiling.
For some reason the quarantine room ceiling was high—about the height of a third floor.
Tatiana looked up at me from below.
“…SIN-998. Are you going to jump?”
“Of course.”
Jumps from the third floor or below.
Kwaaaaaaaaang!!!
I landed lightly, and the quarantine room shook slightly.
“Sigh. Seems there are a few more anomalies.”
“Not surprised?”
“I am. In my own way. Do you want applause?”
This woman might actually get along with me.
The Macho Bingo continued. After marking a few more O’s and X’s, Tatiana stopped me.
“The question you just marked X. Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
- Calls mom by her name
X.
“…Unexpected.”
“Who calls their mother by name without manners? You have to use her full name.”
“What?”
“Lee Ju-hee. That’s my mom.”
Tatiana looked utterly dumbfounded, then glanced at Yu Seo-ah and the surrounding men one by one.
One of the men approached and fastened something around my wrist. A straight signal appeared on the screen.
“Good. Let’s test whether it’s a lie or not. Assistant Researcher Yu Seo-ah.”
“Yes, yes!”
“From now on, act as SIN-998’s mother.”
Role-playing? I crossed my arms and nodded.
“O-oppa. Shall I start?”
“This kind of mom is good too.”
“Ahem! It’s a situation where you’re offering food to your mother. Try to make it realistic?”
What did I usually say when serving mom food?
“Lee Ju-hee. Food.”
“……”
“The soup’s getting cold.”
“SIN-998. Did you really say it like that?”
“Yeah.”
The signal on the screen didn’t budge. The men muttered that it wasn’t a lie.
“Aigoo. Thanks to my son, I ate really well…”
“Lee Ju-hee. I’ll do the dishes. Don’t lift a finger and go rest. When I’m done, I’ll give you a full-body massage course and buy red ginseng candy too.”
“Are you some neighborhood-famous filial son…? …Sigh.”
Tatiana let out a deep sigh.
Serial Number: SIN-998
Alias: <The Director>
Risk Rating: Epsilon
Height: 202cm
Weight: 120kg
A large adult male.
Under standard reality criteria, he was the only ‘surface humanity’ in the world with no connection to the Management Bureau or anomalous entities.
Contrary to his threatening appearance, he is cooperative with the Management Bureau. He has a somewhat playful personality.
He possesses physical abilities exceeding ordinary humans, and further investigation is required for other anomalies.
Basic Q&A results indicate a significant lack of common sense. Presumed cause is final education level of middle school graduation. Further education is recommended.
SIN-998 is interpreting the current situation as an immersive attraction experience. Additional measures are required for smooth containment.
* Investigation needed regarding connection to the Common Sense Alteration disaster complaint phenomenon currently occurring simultaneously worldwide.
— Management Bureau Headquarters, Cognitive Technology Department, Dr. Augustin Riemann
* Obsessed with feeding curry to the orphanage children.
— Base 277, Chief Researcher, Tatiana Karstein
Tatiana finished writing the report and stretched.
‘Curry, huh. I like curry too, so let’s make it quickly and feed the children.’
It was already evening. Two days had passed since SIN-998 had been quarantined.
“Chief. Shall I brew you a cup of coffee?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Yu Seo-ah boiled water in the coffee pot.
‘…She’s the chief researcher and also the special task force captain. She’s strict but a good person.’
She wouldn’t treat Lee Shin roughly, right?
Lately, every one of Yu Seo-ah’s nerves had been focused on Lee Shin. She worried whether he would face harsh experiments or suffer mental damage.
‘I need to get promoted quickly so I can make things easier for my oppa.’
While she was steeling her resolve—
Weeeeeeeeeng—!
“Huh?”
Containment failure. Containment failure.
Delta-class entity, SIN-766 <Clown Phobia> has escaped from its containment cell. Casualties reported.
Escaped anomalous entity’s current location: Epsilon-class containment area. Corridor 28 on the 3rd floor.
The siren filled the entire base.
The roar of descending bulkheads, shouts and screams heard in an instant.
And an emotionless warning echoed throughout the facility.
The sound of tearing flesh and snapping bones came from somewhere not far away.
It was where SIN-998’s quarantine room was located.