Where's My Pirate Empress?
Clans defeated by the Pirate King are permanently exempted from subsequent Pirate King raids.
It all came down to the Pirate King's "clan priority targeting."
But contrary to what I'd expected, the players weren't raging about the Pirate King's clan-first attack system. They were on fire over something else entirely.
You thought she was a Pirate Empress? Turns out it was this kind of Pirate King!
[Close-up of the Pirate Empress's hips]
Okay so where did my thick empress noona go and why did some hairy middle-aged dude just pop out instead??
Is the game company trolling us? Is this game a joke right now?
I'm actually spiraling rn holy shit
Give me back the pirate noona with the massive chest right fucking now
[Full-body image of the Pirate King], [Full-body image of the Pirate Empress]
Both are eight-heads-tall proportions.
Both have big chests.
Both have big hips and thighs.
One of them just happens to be a little hairier, that's all.
[A bizarre image staring straight at the camera]
Hey veterans, you said it was a super hot pirate noona
And what actually shows up is a hairy middle-aged dude
Did you just gaslight your own dad or what?
We already went full brainrot with space pirates and now a Pirate King just shows up?
Are we gonna go looking for the One Piece next?
Holy shit I never thought we'd be the navy grunts in this story
"They're really going nuclear out there."
"They sure are."
The gallery was detonating with the kind of explosive force that put a fusion reactor to shame — all because a bearded middle-aged man had shown up as the boss instead of a stacked empress. And the ones reacting the most violently were, of course, the newbies who'd only just founded their clans.
You absolute garbage-tier admin bastards!
Was it that hard to just let us live happily and hype each other up for five goddamn minutes?!
You!
Piece!
Of shit!!!!!!
Faced with this nightmare, the newbies naturally tried to bail from the clans they'd mindlessly joined, scrambling for any way out into the light of freedom. However…
[Close-up of some character's ass]
fr I just wanna leave my clan and live alone
But I have no idea how to leave a clan. There's not even a button for it in the status menu
As the gallery descended into a full-blown maelstrom of chaos, my Supers — who'd been tilting their heads at my behavior — turned to me with sparkling, starry eyes.
"As expected of the Commander! You saw this coming all along!"
"That's right. I didn't grit my teeth and hold out for nothing."
And whether the gallery burned or not, the event would proceed exactly as planned. So I decided it was finally time to spin the gacha I'd been saving up.
Granted, with Ignis, Belial, and Pashtura on my side — plus my cruiser fleet built around the Overseer — I could handle most pirate fleet invasions without breaking a sweat. But more firepower was always better than less, so I set out to pull some brand-new combat power to throw at those damn pirates.
The only problem was that, at this critical moment, I completely forgot about my legendary bad luck. And the results spoke for themselves.
> Common Resource Crate x10
> Common Equipment Crate x10
> Normal Destroyer x1
··· ··· ··· ··· ··· ···
"Uwaaaaaaaargh."
My 150-pull gacha — carefully stockpiled over more than three months of daily grinding — produced not a single Super. The ships that did come out were all Normal-grade… meaning the exact same ships I could already manufacture myself.