205. I want to be a mom.
205. I want to be a mom.
"...Did that do it?"
A certain 'connection' linked to me.
The 'Time' that leaked out through it.
Certain that this was the cause no matter how I looked at it, I swiftly severed that 'connection.'
"Doesn't really feel like anything's been lifted."
I figured I'd have to see to know for sure.
If the regression was lifted when I returned tomorrow, that would be good in itself.
If the regression wasn't lifted, then I'd just have to go searching again.
Right now was a time to be pleased with having achieved fairly good results.
With the day gradually darkening, I walked toward my house.
Just like that.
"..........."
"......?"
Hestia appeared up ahead.
...
..
.
Had she made up her unresolved mind?
Hestia grabbed my sleeve and entered a nearby motel.
"........."
Hestia sat on a chair, head bowed.
She twiddled her thumbs together.
A troubled look. A thinking look.
She pressed her lips tight, then they trembled slightly and relaxed, repeating the process.
"Are we doing it?"
I asked directly, cutting to the chase.
Didn't coming to a motel mean she'd already made up her mind?
When I tried to take off my pants and underwear, Hestia readily shook her head.
"I'm not going to do it."
"Then may I leave?"
"No."
"............"
Not this, not that either.
Just what exactly was allowed here?
It's nearly time.
10 PM.
It was time to lie in bed and sleep.
Even though my sleeping time was a mere 2 hours, I needed at least that much for my mind to hold out.
So I kept to this time every day, and the later it got, the worse my condition became in the next loop.
For the next loop... should I just rest?
In the first place, my contract with Hestia was something possible only because I 'remembered.'
But since I couldn't just pretend it never existed, I could probably conclude the deal by simply bedding the 1st loop's Hestia.
She wouldn't remember anything once the regression ended anyway, but I guess you could call it repaying a debt in my own way.
"At first... maybe it was like that."
"Huh?"
A continued silence.
At the end of it, Hestia opened her mouth to speak.
"At first, yeah. Hero's reactions were amusing. And it seemed like it was having an effect, too."
A belated confession.
Hestia slowly began to open up her heart.
"Hero is stubborn about weird things. Even if I asked you to pounce on me, you never had any intention of pouncing. So, I wondered what would happen if I pushed you away instead."
If pulling doesn't work, push.
A common, worn-out formula of romance.
Extremely inhumane behaviors you see in couples or people with a thing for each other who are pining away.
And Hestia's reasoning here was half right and half wrong.
"Hero would have felt betrayed. Yeah. That's only natural. Because you opened your heart thinking I was sincerely helping with your training, and if it turned out the other party actually had completely different thoughts, feeling betrayed is only natural."
"...Not really. I never felt anything like betrayal."
I had expected things on my own.
And been disappointed on my own.
Hestia had done nothing wrong.
"Maybe it was inevitable. My goal was to end the regression, and Hestia's goal was to have a 'relationship.'"
Our goals were different.
We were each pursuing different things.
Hence the difference in views. Difference in perspectives.
"And besides... for Hestia, right now, the 'regression' is overwhelmingly a 'benefit,' isn't it?"
"............"
Hestia had been confined to a cramped room for dozens of centuries.
Things she hadn't been able to do during that period, things she wanted to do but had held back.
She had been able to enjoy those things to her heart's content during these regressions.
She might fear divine punishment if Heaven found out,
but since it was a day that would just come back after a day passed, what was there to fear?
"I understand. I think I'd do the same in your shoes."
My emotions had gotten a bit heated, but I had calmed down to some degree.
I also came to accept why Hestia had acted that way.
To look at Hestia here and curse, 'Why you rotten bitch!' — that would be the talk of a narrow-minded idiot.
"Look, even now. You followed me without a word of complaint."
My goals were almost entirely achieved.
So now it was Hestia's turn to achieve her goal.
It was time for the long-awaited 'sincere baby-making sex' between a man and a woman.
"That's not it."
"...Yes?"
But Hestia spoke.
"What I want isn't that."
"............."
A sudden contract modification.
She said that wasn't what she truly wanted.
"Then what is it?"
What do you desire?
At my question, Hestia slowly lifted her head, looked up at me, and said.
"I want to be a mom."
"...That's a bit."
Wouldn't that be rather difficult?
*******************
The next loop.
'...I regressed.'
I checked the date.
It was still that exact same day.
So Ultimately, I hadn't been able to stop the regression after all.
"Haaaaah....Hm?"
Just as I slumped and let out a sigh, the phone rang.
[Hello...?]
"It's Chrono."
A call from Theia.
After that, we decided to meet at 'that place,' same as before.
"......Mm."
For now, since that was the 'contract.'
I showered, brushed my teeth well.
I even dressed a bit more neatly than usual.
Saying 'neatly' only meant switching from a tracksuit to a dress shirt and cotton slacks, but even that much made me look somewhat presentable.
'I don't need to do anything... to my hair, right?'
If I fumbled with it clumsily, I'd just mess it up.
I just lightly tidied it with a comb, then headed to the cafe.
".........."
"...? Did I get something on my face?"
As I sat down across from Theia as usual, her eyes went round.
She stared at me blankly for a moment, then bowed her head, clasping both hands together to cover her mouth.
"Theia?"
"Huh?! Yeah! Mmm....."
She flinched, her body trembling.
The hands covering her mouth gradually spread to conceal her entire face, and Theia gulped down the coffee in front of her as if she were hot.
"Hwaaah. Mm. You're a little different than usual today? Were you on your way to meet someone?"
When she lifted her head again, she looked the same as before.
A faint blush colored her cheeks and her ears had turned a bit reddish, but overall, there didn't seem to be much difference.
"I have something to do with Hestia."
"Aha....."
Theia's complexion darkened in that instant.
"Hm? With me? Hero?"
In the middle of this, Hestia looked at me as if asking what I meant.
You'll find out everything later, so just stay put for now.
"I'll borrow Hestia for a moment."
"Ah....."
I grabbed Hestia's wrist and came outside.
"Wait a moment."
"Eh?"
No, I tried to come outside.
But Theia blocked my path.
"The regression... is it being resolved well?"
"Ah, that?"
If it was Theia, she could ask about it.
'The regression, I mean...'
Ultimately, I severed the 'Time' connected inside me, but the regression still occurred.
Probably, what had already been extracted up until now was enough to sustain it.
'But still, well...'
I knew the solution, basically.
Go out to the city's outskirts and return the distorted 'Time' to its original state.
Then wouldn't the regression naturally end?
This was ultimately still in the realm of speculation, but having grown sensitive to 'Time,' I could feel it.
"The 'Time' of this world is weakening. I'll probably be able to end it soon."
"Is... that so? Then that's a relief..."
"....??"
She looked vaguely listless.
When I asked if something had happened, she only answered that nothing was wrong. Ultimately, the uneasy feeling remained unresolved as I brought Hestia outside.
"So... isn't it about time you told me what this is about, Hero?"
"What this is about?"
Maybe because I'd shown a not-bad side with Theia, Hestia was relatively wary but felt much softer.
I immediately clasped hands with Hestia and released Hestia's protection that lay within me.
"Eut────!"
A crimson aura.
The initially faint red glow had gradually deepened with each accumulated loop, and now it had reddened to the point of being nearly black.
"Heuu.....eu.....haaah....."
A sigh escaping in the process of regaining her memories.
When she raised her head again, Hestia's eyes had darkened a little, unlike before.
"....Yeah. It's done now."
She remembered.
Hestia then lifted both arms and hugged me tight.
"....??"
"Today, it's okay to be like this, right?"
Right, Chrono?
"Well....."
Today.
At least for this loop.
"...Do as you like."
"Chrono is so quick to understand, I really like it!"
Now now, let's hurry!
There's no time to be standing still like this!
Hestia pulled me with her whole body, hastening her steps.
Even though running like this would only tangle our steps and slow us down, Hestia instead threw herself at me with all her might, as if she enjoyed that very fact.
"Chrono."
"Why are you calling me."
"Call me Hestia."
"Hestia."
"............"
"....No."
Hestia or Hestia,
weren't they all the same anyway?
"No polite speech either."
"How could I dare do such a thing to a goddess."
"..............."
A demanding pressure bore down on me.
"Alright... Fine. Hestia."
"Yeah! That's my husband for you!"
"I'm not your husband yet, you know?"
"Tch. There you go using polite speech again!"
Ah, seriously.
What was the big deal about that promise?
I peeled off Hestia, who was clinging to me to a burdensome degree, and we walked down the street.
The first place to go──yes.
"A wedding dress... I've always wanted to try one on!"
First, we had to get the outfit.
As an aside.
"..............."
Theia remained alone in the cafe.
She poured the nearly melted, watery coffee back into her mouth and recalled.
'Why did I...'
Why did I block Chrono?
Even though there was no particular reason to stop him, my hand moved without me knowing.
'And besides.'
Even before that, watching him leave holding hands with Hestia...
"....Haaaaah."
Her chest felt strangely tight.
For a moment, a sudden surge of emotion welled up.
'Why?'
Why was she like this?
She wouldn't say she didn't know the reason, didn't know the symptoms──things like that.
She was someone who had lived long enough.
At least, she hadn't lived a life completely devoid of experience.
"At my age, what on earth am I doing right now..."
No, to be honest, it wasn't exactly strange.
A marriage at a young age. Blinded only by love, she married a man with a child, and he was gone before long.
After that, endless days of living alone as a widow.
And to say a belated spark was kindling now──she couldn't understand──derstand.
She couldn't understand.
She mustn't understand, and she mustn't accept it.
"Haaaaaah....."
Theia let out a long sigh.
'...He looked really good.'
What suddenly came to mind was Chrono in his casual clothes.
The sight of him wearing a dress shirt instead of a tracksuit was deeply impressed in Theia's memory──and why was she remembering that!
"Ooh....oh....ooooh......!"
Sighs repeated several times over.
Theia gave up thinking.