First Experience (3)

White light poured down over Soyoung's face.

She had been lying on the examination table in something very like a plain white patient's gown. Slowly, she pushed herself upright. The room was crammed with cutting-edge machines, and beyond the transparent glass wall along one side, people in lab coats hurried back and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠forth without pause.

A short while later she was back in her room, changed into comfortable clothes, sitting at her desk.

The place had been decorated in a sleek, modern style, and it was far too bleak to belong to a young girl. Only a small doll on the desk and a few printed photographs insisted that she was still an ordinary schoolgirl.

Soyoung looked down at the little plastic box resting there. It had been left in her school locker a few days ago, on her birthday. With her fingertips she pinched the slip of paper stuck to one of the buttons.

There was no name on it, but she knew the handwriting at a glance. It was a gift from Daehyun.

Some time after that, she was sitting blankly in the living room.

It was a cozy space, with a plush sofa and lighting in a warm hue. Beyond the glass wall that filled one side of the room, cool monsoon rain was falling across the lawn.

The black-haired girl seated across from her spoke up, careful and quiet.

"Unnie... he still hasn't called?"

She was one of the children living at the institute with Soyoung. Soyoung's face was hazy as she gave a small nod.

At that, the brown-haired girl sitting on the diagonal glanced up from the puzzle cube in her hands ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and said, indifferently, "So he ghosted her. Breakup by vanishing."

The black-haired girl flared up in Soyoung's place.

"We don't know that yet! He transferred because of his family!"

The brown-haired girl finished the cube in a flash and let out a cold little laugh.

"Transferring means he can't use a phone? It's already been a week. I'm telling you, he disappeared on her. That piece of shit."

"Unnie!"

"Am I wrong?"

From the seat beside Soyoung, the red-haired girl—deep in a game on her phone—put in a casual word of her own.

"But ghosting is something couples do, isn't it? They weren't even dating."

In that instant the two girls who had been bickering turned their heads at the same time and looked at her. The red-haired girl seemed thoroughly thrown by how quiet the room had suddenly become.

"What? What. Why. Don't tell me they were dating. ...Since when?"

"You're serious...?"

"Wow.... This unnie is really..."

While the three of them chattered over one another, Soyoung quietly looked down at the phone in her hand. Daehyun's name was the only one saved in her messenger. When she tapped it, their last exchange appeared: a line about seeing each other on Monday, and a short reply agreeing.

Her finger hovered over the screen for a long moment, then slowly began to move.

She clutched the phone and waited for an answer.

Days passed. None came.

After that, Soyoung took her phone out whenever she had a spare moment. At school. In the middle of a meal. At the institute, the instant training ended or an examination was over, the phone was the first thing she checked.

There was still no reply, but she refused to give up, and kept trying to reach him.

Around the time a month had passed, she started leaving messages with no expectation of an answer at all.

Like keeping a diary, she left a message whenever he crossed her mind.

Of course, no reply ever came from Daehyun.

Even so, she remained trapped inside that phone.

And time went on, mercilessly.

Summer passed, and autumn, and then it was a winter day bitter enough to stand out from the rest. Soyoung lay in her room with the lights off when she suddenly reached for the recording box beside the bed. The note on the button had been peeled away long ago. She hadn't thrown it out, of course. She had laminated it and was keeping it somewhere safe.

She set her finger on the button marked with the play symbol.

Click.

A small rustling noise, and then a familiar voice spilled out.

That was the end of it.

Loneliness came rushing back in the space of a blink. Soyoung stared down at the box, silent again so quickly. No matter how many times she pressed the button, the same voice only repeated itself. In the end the tears she had clenched down and clenched down again ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠spilled over all at once.

She couldn't understand what Daehyun had been feeling. No—the truth was, she didn't want to. The voice he had left inside that little recording box was everything she had.

...And yet.

"...hk..."

The tears kept coming, and even she couldn't stop them. Soyoung buried her face in the soft pillow.

"Hhh... ngh..."

From a room walled in opaque glass, in the dark heart of the institute, a thin sound of crying leaked out. There was no one to comfort her.

Time tore past in a blur.

"Have a good day, son."

"...I'll be back."

I had transferred to a new school, graduated without any real trouble, and gone on to high school—a boys' school, not ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠far from home. It was my mother's idea that I keep my distance from girls until I came of age. The Incubus constitution doesn't work on men, after all. Thanks to that, I was able to live an ordinary school life, the way other kids did.

Then, one day—

"Hey, Kim Daehyun. You see this?"

"See what."

"TI dropped a rookie, and she's hot as hell!"

My friends, huddled together and talking over each other, shoved a phone into my hands. A new superhuman had debuted at Titan International.

"Who's got you all worked up like that?"

I took the phone without thinking much of it.

And then—

...Huh?

The face on the screen was familiar. I flinched before I could stop myself.

"Her name's Ban Soyoung. They say she's got five powers."

"Face is unreal, but the body's even crazier. How is she the same age as us?"

"Honestly, dating her would be terrifying as fuck."

I let their commentary fall behind me and stared, dazed, at the video playing on the phone. It was Ban Soyoung's official promotional clip, uploaded by TI. A sleek suit, black with gold accents. On the screen she looked every inch the hero, and yet she didn't seem so different from the last image of her I remembered. If anything, she looked far more mature than she had then, and prettier.

"Well? Isn't she stupid pretty?"

One of them tossed the question at me, and I answered without meaning to.

"...Yeah. She is. A lot."

That night, home again, I searched her name online.

Ban Soyoung... TI...

With her striking looks and outstanding abilities, she was already at the center of the conversation. People were talking over one another about her with real enthusiasm.

I stared at the internet for a long while, then shut the phone, my chest unnecessarily tangled.

...Still. I'm glad she seems to be doing all right.

There was only a faint bitterness left in my mouth.

While Ban Soyoung was out there making her name as a hero, I found myself, before I knew it, at the season for college entrance exams. Fortunately, all that steady preparation paid off. I got in without much difficulty, to a university well known for its ties to Titan International.

"Congratulations, my boy...!"

Mother was as overjoyed by the news of my acceptance as if it had happened to her.

"That tiny little child... when did you get so big.... sob..."

"Come on, don't cry. It's a good day."

I comforted her, and secretly let my own eyes redden. I knew how hard she had worked all this time, and the feeling swelled until I could hardly hold it.

"...You've been through so much too, Mom..."

There was still no word from my father. I had thought he would reach out at least once, but since that last meeting, nothing had ever come. It had been peaceful enough, at least, after we moved here. Even so, the longer the silence stretched, the heavier my heart grew at the sight of my mother shedding ever more tears.

Now it's my turn to protect her.

Having cleared the exams, I spent my school days more happily than I ever had.

"Hey, Daehyun. Billiards today?"

"Again? We went yesterday."

"Minsu's crew wants a two-on-two. We can't win if you're not there!"

"Hmm... should we?"

"Heh. Come on, let's go!"

Time passed, and New Year's Day arrived all at once.

"Ugh... I'm dying..."

To mark the new year I had gone to a bar for the first time with friends who had come of age, and now I staggered awake and out into the living room.

"Mom."

But the house was far too quiet.

Did she go out?

I confirmed she wasn't there and headed for the kitchen without thinking much of it. Only then did I notice how bare it felt.

Huh? She didn't make anything?

Mother always kept warm rice and soup ready, so I could eat whenever I wanted. Today, what was left from the day before still sat out untouched. Dishes were piled in the sink, which was always kept spotless. She maintained the house in perfect order so she could welcome my father home at any moment, and the neglect felt especially strange.

I'll just do it myself.

I set out a meal, ate, and washed the dishes, not thinking much of it.

And then—

...Did something happen to her?

Night grew late, and Mother still had not come back. No message. No call. Nothing reached me at all. New Year's Day was about to end.

With no other choice, I sat still on the sofa and waited for her. Whenever I heard someone outside, I craned my neck toward the entryway. No matter how long I waited, our front door never opened.

...Where did she go?

Time passed. The date changed.

Mother still did not come home.