The Complicated Changes in My Heart
The Complicated Changes in My Heart
It was the first time I had seen my childhood friend naked, aside from when we went to the bathhouse together as kids.
His muscular, sturdy physique, fitting for his handsome face, immediately drew my gaze.
But what stood out most of all was Junwoo's thing, standing tall and majestic, pointing straight up at the ceiling.
Even at first glance, its size was considerable; roughly estimating, it was a huge dick over 15cm.
"Ah, no..!"
My face flushed bright red, and I crouched down on the spot, burying my head.
I wanted to erase the shocking memory I had just seen from my mind, so I squeezed my eyes shut.
"Uuugh..."
The more I became conscious of it, the more vividly it came to mind, to the point where I even performed the act of tearing at my hair.
Junwoo, who had been staring intently at that cute sight, pretended to have just woken up and yawned.
"Haaam~ What? You're already here? You could've at least called~"
"N-no... Why are you sleeping naked..?!"
"It's hot at night. It's surprisingly comfortable to sleep without clothes?"
"Even so..!"
"What's the big deal. It's my place, I live alone."
Junwoo got up from the bed naked, letting his genitals dangle as he walked to the kitchen.
As he took cold water from the fridge to drink and glanced at Seoyun, she was flustered, not knowing where to look.
Seriously, she was so cute I wanted to just bite her.
"Put some clothes on!"
"Why? What's between us. If anything, you should take your clothes off too."
"Ar, are you crazy? Say something that makes sense!"
At that one teasingly tossed-out remark, Seoyun showed an intense reaction and slammed the bedroom door shut.
Since she threatened not to open it until he got dressed, Junwoo had no choice but to put on the pajamas he had taken off.
He had been observing Seoyun's reactions, hoping to develop into a bolder relationship, but seeing her act so shy like that, it seemed a lot more time was still needed.
"Hmm..."
She gets annoyed and acts coy, saying she absolutely doesn't want to show her naked body...
But Junwoo was already a person who had secretly seen all of her: her breasts, her pussy, even her asshole.
I wonder what expression she'll make when she finds out the truth?
Will she cry, scream, and throw a fit?
Or will she timidly sniffle tears and try to resist?
Whichever reaction she shows, it seemed like it would be incredibly cute.
"Seoyun-ah~ It's okay to open it now. I'm dressed."
"Really? You're really dressed?"
"Yeah. Why would I lie about something like this?"
Seoyun slightly opened the bedroom door, poked her head out, and glared at Junwoo with bleary eyes.
She glared at his handsome face, glanced at his broad, straight shoulders and solid lower abdomen, and finally secretly peeked at his lower body before sharply turning her head away.
"What? Is something up?"
"A, ah... It's nothing!"
Seoyun, who had shouted loudly, sat down on the living room sofa.
She took the workbook out of her Eco Bag and lightly slapped her cheeks to pull herself together.
"Today, we're only studying, no games!"
"Well, okay. Got it. Since we won't be able to meet for another week starting tomorrow, I'll teach you hard."
"Eh..? Ah, uhh..."
The bright smile on Seoyun's face darkened.
Because today was Sunday, marking the end of the week.
She looked so dejected it seemed like she'd burst into tears if poked.
"What? Do you regret it? It's fine since we meet every week, right?"
"That's true, but..."
"If you work hard and get into the same university~"
"Uugh... That's easier said than done..."
Seoyun's expression grew even darker.
To share daily life with Junwoo, she absolutely had to get into university, but her own ability to achieve that goal was woefully lacking.
Or, the only option was to desperately wait for Junwoo to graduate and return to his hometown, but would Junwoo, who graduated from a university in the Seoul area, really settle down in a rural backwater?
"What's wrong?"
"A... ah, nothing."
It felt too shameless an act to throw a tantrum saying she wanted to live together.
In the end, Seoyun herself had no choice but to work hard and get into university.
"I'll work hard!"
"Okay."
Junwoo smiled brightly, stroking the head of Seoyun, who had opened her workbook and started studying.
[Seoyun's Point of View]
"I'm home~"
Seoyun, who had studied until late at night and returned home, dragged her tired body into her room.
She flopped face-down on the bed without even washing up, and her Mom, unable to bear it, came into her room and scolded her.
"You! When you get home, you should wash your hands first! How many times do I have to say it! Don't pick up bad habits!"
"Ah!!! Mom...! It's fine for just one day~ I'm tired toooo..."
Still lying face-down on the bed, Seoyun waved her hands dismissively towards her Mom.
Not wanting to argue, she tried to tell her to leave, but her Mom instead sat down beside Seoyun and let out a sigh full of worry.
"Sigh... If studying is that hard, why don't you just quit?"
"There was a time when you said studying was all I had and told me to work hard..."
"That was..! When you were a boy..."
For Seoyun, who had been a hikikomori shut-in in her room, the word she had heard until her lips were worn out was 'studying'.
She often gave annoying life lectures, saying that if you're born a boy, you should at least know how to earn your own living, and that your future life changes depending on how much you study.
But now that she was a girl, it was different.
She just thought it would be nice if she grew up healthy and unharmed.
"If studying is hard, quit."
"Uhh, but..."
Even though the pressure to study had disappeared, Seoyun didn't give up on her academics.
Because she dreamed of a university life with Junwoo.
Her Mom wasn't unaware of her daughter's feelings.
"Sigh... Do you like Junwoo that much?"
"Eh? No, I don't!"
They say a strong denial is an affirmation.
Seoyun, who had jumped up in surprise, turned flustered and her cheeks reddened.
Seeing that, her Mom let out a pleased smile and rubbed her chin.
"Right. If Junwoo comes as my son-in-law, I'd be happy too~ He's handsome, smart, from a good family, and he cherishes you, right?"
"That's not the issue..."
She wanted to refute it, but the words wouldn't come out.
Seoyun moved her mouth hesitantly and fantasized about a future with Junwoo.
"Uugh..."
Marry Junwoo?
Have children and spend a lifetime together?
Honestly, there was a very small part of her that wanted that.
Really, just a very small part.
Because even though she liked him, she still wasn't sure she wanted their relationship to develop into that kind of relationship.
"Alright, daughter, you should wash up before bed, okay?"
Her Mom didn't ask any more questions, patted her daughter's shoulder, and left the room.
"Really... You shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch..."
Unless she had been born a girl from the start.
Over 90% of the time she had spent with Junwoo was from when she was a boy.
It felt too shameless to harbor lustful feelings and even think about marriage with someone who was just a close friend, nothing more, nothing less.
"Phew..."
The more Seoyun thought about a future with Junwoo, the more her lower abdomen ached and she felt a strange mood.
Not so much pleasure or excitement, but a rising sense of joy and satisfaction from within her heart.
Feeling an itch between her thighs, Seoyun shoved both hands between her legs and pressed down hard on her crotch.
"It feels good but... Ah, I don't know..!"
Seoyun shook her head left and right to shake off the thoughts and got up from the bed.
She came out of the bathroom after showering and dried her hair with a hairdryer.
As she was about to put on her pajamas and lie down on the bed, the Teddy Bear Junwoo had given her as a gift suddenly caught her eye.
She went right up to the bear's nose, stared intently at it, and muttered to herself.
"Do I love Junwoo Oppa?"
It was a feeling she was experiencing for the first time.
A slightly different, subtle feeling from when they were just friends was felt every time she met Junwoo.
Seoyun, who was experiencing love for the first time, couldn't definitively judge her own feelings.
"Phew..."
I don't know.
I really don't know.
The more I thought deeply about it, the more my head just hurt.
Seoyun, who had been fidgeting with the Teddy Bear, lay down on the bed and turned on her phone.
Becoming a ghost of the internet community, she skimmed through humor posts people had uploaded and giggled.
"Ah... I have to do that..."
The shameful treatment that repeated every day still remained.
Seoyun secretly locked the door and took the Dildo out from the box under her bed.
The glossy black hard silicone Dildo was something she could never get used to, no matter how many times she saw it.
She took off the pajama pants she was wearing and pulled down her panties, sitting with her legs spread wide in an M-shape.
"It's so embarrassing..."
Lying tilted to look intently at the genitals revealed between her breasts, she still wasn't used to it and her face reddened with shame.
For no reason, she became conscious of the apartment complex across from the window, so she drew the curtains and lay down again.
"Hoo..."
Seoyun took a deep breath, gripped the Dildo in her hand, and applied a generous amount of gel.
The transparent gel that had been flowing out thinly made a blurp sound as air was expelled.
She already used too much gel every time she masturbated, so it was already showing the bottom.
"Should I go to the hospital..?"
Although it had the same ingredients as commonly used Love Gel, Seoyun, who lacked knowledge, mistakenly thought it was a hospital-prescribed medication.
Thinking she should visit the hospital next week, she meticulously rubbed and spread the gel smeared on the Dildo with her hand.
"Eut..."
The Dildo, its surface now smooth and shiny, gleamed as if boasting of its sleek surface.
Seoyun, who felt burdened every time she looked at it, turned her head to the side and inserted the tip of the Dildo into the hole.