Vlog (2)
"Seo-yeon unnie! Did I do okay?"
The instant the cameras cut, Na-bin's face broke into a bright, unguarded smile. Whatever embarrassment she'd been carrying through the shoot had vanished; she looked like she could finally breathe again.
"You did so well, and you looked so pretty, and you were so cute."
"Really? That's such a relief — all thanks to you!"
Na-bin beamed and grabbed my arm, giving it a happy little shake. I couldn't help the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.
To think a day would come when I'd get to film a vlog like this, being all sweet and clingy with my ultimate bias. If my past-life self could have seen this future, she probably would have burst into tears on the spot.
"You really did great. I was worried you'd be stiff since it was your first time, but you looked so natural in front of the camera."
"Did I? If I'd been filming alone, I probably wouldn't have gotten a single word out. Doing it with you made it so much easier."
Na-bin playfully squeezed my hand, and I gave hers a light squeeze back. Being on this show — getting to build this kind of bond with her — made me happier than I knew how to say.
"Huh? What, you're already done?"
A familiar voice cut in without warning.
"Can I be in it too?"
Park Hye-in.
Na-bin's eyes went wide, her lips parting around a silent stammer. I was just as thrown.
"We're done filming."
I said it firmly.
"Just turn it back on. Film a little more, yeah?"
Park Hye-in didn't so much as blink. She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I looked at her without a word.
Well. Of course you're desperate.
Park Hye-in had been the only one to receive single-digit votes in the last mission. On top of that, her team had lost, so she hadn't gotten any bonus votes either. In short, one wrong step and she was gone. I could understand the relentless survival instinct that had been driving her ever since she'd started gunning for the center position. The problem was how blatant she was about it — enough to make anyone's face twitch.
And even if she was in danger, was that any reason for me to help her?
This isn't even my benefit, anyway.
If I let her into the video under the guise of being nice, the comments would tear her apart for forcing her way in. She should have been grateful we weren't including her.
If the comment section gets flooded with people dragging Park Hye-in, it won't do Na-bin any good either.
This was a hard no.
While I was still turning it over in my head, Park Hye-in shifted her gaze to Na-bin, who had been sitting quietly. A bright smile was already spreading across Na-bin's face.
"It's fine, right, Na-bin? I'll make it even more fun."
Na-bin hesitated for a beat. Then she offered a gentle smile.
"Hmm, should we? The viewers would probably enjoy it more if there were a few of us instead of just me."
"Right? See?"
In that instant, something snagged in my chest. It wasn't that Na-bin had said yes. It was the expression that had flickered across her face for just a second.
An ordinary viewer wouldn't have noticed a thing. But I wasn't an ordinary viewer. I was Yu Na-bin's biggest fan. I knew the difference between when she genuinely thought something was fine and when she was saying it was fine because she felt she had to. This was the latter.
The corners of her mouth were lifted as prettily as ever, but her eyes wavered — just barely, just enough. She pressed her lips together once, trying to look natural. She was smiling, but it wasn't that completely unguarded, melting kind of smile she usually wore.
She's uncomfortable. No question.
And looking at that expression, an ugly memory surfaced unbidden. The absurd rumor that Na-bin had been the ringleader of a bullying scandal inside her group, Lumiere.
As a fan, I had never believed it. But of course I hadn't had the kind of evidence that could actually refute it. And now, right in front of me, that same subtle expression on Na-bin's face.
She's uncomfortable, and she's swallowing it down.
Because the cameras were rolling? She'd handled her first-place speech last time with surprising composure, so sure — maybe it was for the broadcast. But would a Na-bin that sharp have gone out of her way to create a controversy that could blow up in her face? There was no reason for her to pull even a quiet, invisible kind of bullying. She knew better than anyone that once you were in the same boat, that kind of thing was nothing but a liability.
What, so she was secretly pulling strings behind the scenes and just happened to get caught? Please.
I shook my head. I wasn't going to doubt Na-bin. No matter how I looked at it, it didn't add up.
While I was lost in thought, Park Hye-in looked at me with expectant eyes.
"She said it's fine."
If I wavered here, the mood would shift until I had no choice but to turn the camera back on.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
Park Hye-in blinked.
"Why? The person it actually involves said it's okay."
I shrugged with an easy smile.
"Filming's already wrapped for now. You've got to rest when it's time to rest. This kind of thing takes energy too, you know."
"We could still shoot a little more, though."
"If we suddenly turn it back on just to manufacture a scene where you show up, it's going to look awkward. If it happens naturally, that's one thing — but the second it starts sounding scripted, it'll backfire."
"I can make it look natural!"
"Even if you look natural, it'll show if someone else is stiff. And this whole conversation is being recorded right now, by the way."
Park Hye-in pressed her lips shut. She clearly wanted to argue, but nothing was coming to her. She bit her lip in frustration, then finally let out a quiet sigh.
"Fine."
I exhaled in relief. Park Hye-in left with a disappointed look on her face, and then it was just me and Na-bin again.
Na-bin glanced at me, her expression a little uncertain. I smiled at her, quiet and warm.
"You okay?"
I asked it gently. Na-bin's eyes went round, and then she smiled — just a little — and nodded.
"Yeah."
An answer that could have been a lie, or could have been the truth. I watched her face for a moment, then slowly nodded.
I don't know if it's because the cameras are still rolling, but at least she's not talking behind anyone's back.
If she ever slipped away from the cameras to complain about Park Hye-in, or tried to paint her as some kind of weirdo — well, then I'd know. I'd know what Yu Na-bin's real face looked like.
The second day of vlog filming.
"I'm counting on you again today, Na-bin."
"Okay! I'll try to be even more natural today."
Na-bin clasped her hands together and smiled, bright as anything. Having done it once already, she looked considerably more at ease. I smiled back, in a good mood myself, and framed the shot.
"Oh? You're filming again?"
Park Hye-in appeared as if she'd been waiting for her cue. I was so incredulous I almost laughed, but with the camera rolling I couldn't let it show. Na-bin seemed to be in the same boat — the same carefully natural smile as yesterday, the discomfort tucked neatly out of sight.
"Yep! We decided to film again today."
Na-bin said it brightly, and Park Hye-in lit up, waving at the camera.
"Hello, everyone! I'm Park Hye-in. Are you enjoying the show?"
I sighed, deep and silent. Yesterday she'd barged in after the vlog was already over. Today she'd glued herself to us from the very first second.
But telling her to leave was awkward. The network cameras were on us too, not just the self-cam, and Na-bin was acting like she didn't mind.
"Look at all the pretty girls in one place."
A bright, sparkling voice joined the mix. Han Yu-ri. She trotted over and flashed a V-sign in front of the camera, waving it around.
"Everyone! Look at Na-bin! Isn't she a feast for the eyes? I get to see her every single day. Jealous?"
Na-bin ducked her head with a bashful little grin.
No discomfort there. Not with Yu-ri.
I flicked a glance in Yu-ri's direction. It wasn't three of us anymore. It was four. What was supposed to be a benefit vlog was rapidly turning into a group talk show.
Yu-ri just didn't seem to read the room. Or, to put it kindly, she was innocent. She'd been the same way back when she'd gotten praised for being one of the last three standing.
No malice in it. Just zero awareness.
Then Yu-ri's face suddenly changed, as if something important had just occurred to her. She put on the expression of someone about to deliver crucial information.
"Hey. Did you guys know?"
"Know what?"
"If you roast a sweet potato, it becomes a roasted sweet potato."
"..."
"And if you dry a sweet potato, it becomes a dried sweet potato. And if you steam it, it becomes a steamed sweet potato."
I stared at Han Yu-ri, completely speechless. Na-bin looked like she couldn't quite process what she'd just heard, and even Park Hye-in was wearing a face that said, what is she talking about?
The silence broke with a burst of laughter — Na-bin's.
"Pfft—!"
"Ah, what is that, Yu-ri unnie! You're so weird!"
Na-bin had genuinely lost it, and I ended up laughing too. When your bias laughs, even unfunny things become funny. That aside, Han Yu-ri was truly something else. Last time it had been lemons. She had a real gift for announcing things everyone already knew as if they were astonishing discoveries.
"Is that not amazing?"
Why would that be amazing.
Park Hye-in jumped in, determined not to be left behind.
"Hey, then do you know what happens to an apple?"
"...What?"
"If you slice it, it becomes a sliced apple. If you chew it, it becomes a chewed apple. If you eat it, it becomes an eaten apple."
"..."
I did not hear that. Nope.
"...Hye-in."
Yu-ri stared at her for a long moment.
"Yeah?"
"That was a stretch."
"What? You said the exact same kind of thing!"
"Mine was different! Mine had more depth. What even is a chewed apple? That's a completely different category!"
"What kind of standard is that?"
"A sweet potato transforms depending on how you cook it. Is that not amazing?"
I swallowed a dry laugh. Yu-ri was just like that — it was who she was. Park Hye-in, on the other hand, was very obviously forcing herself to match the energy.
Na-bin completely lost it at Yu-ri's bit, so now she's scrambling.
The others laughed along anyway. I laughed on the outside too, but honestly, I wasn't thrilled.
I just wanted to be alone with Na-bin.
Then Yu-ri spoke up again, as if something had just occurred to her.
"Oh, right. Hye-in, they said they want you for an interview?"
"...Me?"
"Yeah! One of the writers was looking for you. They said they want you first."
Park Hye-in's eyes went round. She glanced at the self-cam a few times, clearly reluctant to leave, then finally stood.
"...I'll be right back."
Once she was gone, I asked Yu-ri as casually as I could.
"Did you already do your interview?"
"No, not yet. They said I'm after Hye-in."
Music to my ears.
Some time passed, and then Park Hye-in came back. I glanced at her without thinking — and stopped.
Her eyes were red and bloodshot. She looked like someone who had been crying until a moment ago.
What? Don't tell me she actually went and squeezed out some tears this time?
A little while later, Yu-ri finished her interview and came back too. I stopped again.
Han Yu-ri's eyes were rimmed with red as well.
I closed my mouth.
Wait. Don't tell me...