V-Log (1)

The first broadcast had wrapped, and no new mission followed. They seemed to be stalling for time until the team-battle evaluation aired. That didn't mean we got to rest, though. If anything, the training only intensified.

Choreography fundamentals, vocal training, body conditioning. The daily schedule was packed to bursting.

Idol trainee life really isn't easy.

The one mercy was that no matter how physically exhausting it got, the mood in the practice room stayed reasonably good. Everyone knew there wouldn't be any eliminations until the next evaluation aired. Not that anyone could afford to completely let their guard down.

And so, amid the endless cycle of practice and systematic management, a new announcement came down.

"The benefit awarded to first-place ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠trainee Yu Na-bin from the previous mission will now be revealed."

A benefit?

The curiosity didn't last long.

"It's a Vlog benefit!"

They explained that self-filmed footage might ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠be inserted into the broadcast, or released briefly online. In short, it was a chance to grab more attention — a crucial perk that would feed directly into a ranking boost in the online vote that decided eliminations.

"Whoa, that's actually huge..."

"I'm so jealous."

"I don't even need the benefit. I just want to come in first once, like Na-bin or Seo-yeon."

Murmurs rippled through the trainees. Everyone knew perfectly well how important it was to get even one extra second of face time on air.

That said, it's not an unconditionally good benefit.

It was clearly a major perk, but from where I stood, it looked a little different. This was a Pandora's box. A poisoned chalice.

Not that any of that applies to Na-bin.

If someone like Park Hye-in had gotten the same benefit, it was obvious what kind of controversy she'd cook up with a self-cam. One slip of the tongue, one bad attitude, and she'd dig her own grave — her ranking would crater straight into the basement. The production team wouldn't even need to lift a finger in the edit.

A dangerous benefit with no shield to protect you.

Still... Na-bin's self-cam benefit? There was no way I would have missed that. So why couldn't I remember it?

"Seo-yeon unnie, how am I supposed to film this?"

The moment practice ended and we got back to the dorm, Yu Na-bin planted herself in front of me. She looked at me the way she always did — face bright and full of life, both hands clasped tightly together — and for a second I thought my heart might actually stop.

"I've never filmed a self-cam before, so it's super awkward... Do it with me! You will, right?"

Ah. There was no refusing this. How was I supposed to turn down a request Na-bin made herself? And it wasn't like I had any reason to refuse.

"Okay."

"Really? Thank you!"

Na-bin's eyes sparkled as she pulled me into a hug, then nestled her head against me...

I hurriedly peeled her off.

That's way too much.

That's a critical hit for me. I almost let her hear my heartbeat.

The second I put some distance between us, a wave of regret rolled in. Should I have just stayed still? Regret, no matter how fast it arrived, was always too late.

More importantly, watching Na-bin ask for help like that finally jogged my memory of the self-cam vlog. I understood now why it had felt so strangely out of reach.

Na-bin didn't film that self-cam herself.

And in my memory, it had definitely been Baek Eun-bi standing beside her, helping out while Yu Na-bin filmed her vlog.

So even Na-bin — a born celebrity who I would have sworn didn't know the meaning of embarrassment — got flustered enough to ask for help like this.

Come to think of it, in the original timeline Na-bin and Baek Eun-bi were supposed to have met during the previous mission. After they ended up on the same team, Eun-bi doted on Na-bin while looking after her with a faintly unnie-like air, and on broadcast they came across as a surprisingly well-matched pair.

But they got split up, probably because the song changed.

After Na-bin won the benefit, Baek Eun-bi had held the camera while Na-bin chattered about this and that. The video they made together had been quite the talk of the internet, as I recalled... and now that request had landed on me instead.

This... the future had changed.

The thought lasted only a moment. Looking at Na-bin in front of me, her eyes shining like stars, I wanted to be here — in this moment.

"Na-bin."

"Yeah?"

"You're not going to do that thing?"

"What thing?"

"You know. Mid-filming, going 'Eek! I'm so embarrassed~!' and covering the camera with your hands."

"Pfft! Unnie, what? Why would I do that!"

"No? That's weird. The Yu Na-bin in my memory did that, like, three times."

"Did you dream that? I don't do stuff like that!"

Whether that was actually true or not, we'd find out soon enough. I allowed myself a small smile and picked up the camera.

"All right, we're rolling~! Na-bin-ssi, a self-introduction, please~!"

"Did you start recording?"

"Yes. We've started. Please introduce yourself casually, the way you'd talk to your fans."

"C-casually?"

I nodded the camera up and down.

"Ah, hi! I'm Yu Na-bin! I got to film a vlog as my first-place benefit! Um... I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do, but I'll give it a shot!"

No, but... she was genuinely too cute. I bit down on my lip from the inside.

Every fan who saw this was going to envy me.

I used to envy Baek Eun-bi for this, after all.

I was still filming, desperately burying my inner stan behind the camera, when Yu Na-bin suddenly reached out and took it from me.

"And! The one filming right now is Seo-yeon unnie! Unnie, say hi!"

"Uh... Hello. I'm Lee Seo-yeon, and I'm holding the camera at Na-bin's request."

"She's today's VJ unnie! A round of applause!"

A laugh burst out of me at Na-bin's adorable little bit.

"Give the camera back. I'm supposed to be filming you, not me."

"Okay. But unnie, what would be fun to do? Does this work if we just... film stuff?"

"I don't really know either, but... maybe we should do what the fans would want to see?"

"What the fans would want to see?"

I adjusted the camera and tossed the question out as naturally as I could.

"What about a pledge? Our trainee Yu Na-bin — if you debut, do you have any promises for your fans?"

"Uh, uh? A pledge?"

"Yeah. Like filming a vlog with a cute concept, for example?"

"Eek! I can't do that, it's too embarrassing!"

That. That was exactly the reaction fans wanted. I was quietly delighted, but I kept my face neutral and tossed out another question.

"Then... is there anything you want to say to your fans?"

Yu Na-bin thought for a moment, then folded her hands ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠together in a small, earnest gesture.

"Um... I still have a long way to go, but I'm so grateful that you always support me, and I'm going to work even harder from now on, so please keep watching over me!"

Then she stared straight at me.

"How was that? Was it okay?"

"Yeah. But. That was all pretty words. You've got to say something overflowing with love for your fans, don't you?"

Na-bin's eyes went round at that, and then her lips pushed out in a pout.

"Hey, do you even know how much I like them! I just don't know how to say it!"

The instant I heard that, my hardcore-fan instincts kicked in.

"Then how about this? Look at the camera, say 'I love you~', and throw a heart!"

"Aaaah! I can't I can't I can't!"

"What do you mean you can't~! The fans are going to want to see it!"

"Aaaagh! Unnie, I told you I'm embarrassed! Don't make me do stuff like thiiiis!"

And so I stood there holding the camera, laughing so hard I had to clutch my stomach, while Yu Na-bin's ears turned scarlet as she tried to cover the lens.

This was it. This was exactly it.

The vlog I had watched so many times as a fan. And the person who had stood closest to Yu Na-bin from behind the camera...

That person was now me.

Wow. I really...

In this lifetime, I was a successful stan.

The moment Yu Na-bin's vlog dropped, the reaction was explosive. A short clip went up online, and within minutes the view count was skyrocketing. Netizens sank into the video without resistance, looping the two trainees on screen over and over again.